“What about my lease? I still have seven months left on it.”
“Would you approve my paying it off for you?”
She pursed her lips. “I don’t know.”
“If it’s important to you, then you can pay me back later. Let me do this for you. Let me help you.”
After a few moment’s deliberation, she nodded. “All right. Yes, but I’ll pay you back. Will the movers unpack everything for me, too?”
“They can. I don’t want box cutters lying around where Liliana might be, but otherwise I’ll leave that up to you.”
“I’ll think about that, too.”
“While you’re thinking, consider the fact that all my brothers, plus my sister-in-law and other family are all staying at the castle with me. They’ll want to have dinner with both of you tomorrow, if you’re not too exhausted.”
Her hand went to her hair. “I couldn’t possibly.”
He pulled her hand away. “You could possibly. You’re beautiful, remember?”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome,” he whispered back. He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the forehead, then on each cheek. “Will Liliana be disturbed if I gave her a kiss before I go?”
“She’s usually a fairly heavy sleeper, but if she’s moving around a lot, she could wake up.”
“I’ll be careful.”
He slowly entered Liliana’s room, cringing a little when the door squeaked. When she remained still, he let out a breath and continued inside.
She was lying on her back, her pink pajamas twisted, one hand and leg dangling over the side of the bed, her bedcovers tangled around her small body. A few cloth dolls were scattered around her and her hair was a messy tangle of dark against her pink pillows.
She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life.
Something heavy and warm settled inside him, followed by a coating of creeping fear.
Fear that he wouldn’t be a good father, or a good enough man for his daughter.
Fear that he wouldn’t be able to protect her.
Fear of the inevitability that she’d grow up, and learn that the world could be hurtful and painful, and there was little he could do about it.
He clutched his chest as his breaths came short and shallow.
Deep breath. If you start feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath first. His therapist’s advice rang through him, and he bent over, put his hands on his knees, and breathed deep. He could do this. He would do this.
Emotions under control, he leaned over her, brushed her hair back, and dropped a soft kiss to her temple. She shifted a little, and he stilled. When she remained sleeping, he gently put her hand and leg in the bed, and readjusted the covers. After a last look, he left, closing the door gently behind him.
He was walking to the living room when he saw Lily washing dishes. So, he diverted to the kitchen, walked up behind her, and pinned her in by placing his arms on either side of her.
Lily jumped, then placed a soapy hand against her chest. “Oh, you startled me.”
“Lost in thought?”
She nodded as she washed the soap from her hands. “She still asleep?”
“Mmm-hmm.” He nuzzled her neck. “Why are you washing dishes? You’re moving to a castle tomorrow, where you’ll never have to do dishes again if you don’t want to.”
She tensed. “I don’t want to raise Lily like that, where she’s dependent on other people doing everything for her, like we both were growing up. I want her to be independent and–”
He shifted his hands to her hips and squeezed. “You don’t want her to be blindsided like you were, when your parents cut you out of their life.”
She sagged a little. “Yes. God, I was so lost. I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t know how to do much. All the little details of daily life – bills, insurance, rent, cleaning – someone had always taken care of that for me. I thought I was independent until all this happened.” She turned quickly, her damp hands clutching his shirt. “Not that I regret a minute of it. I don’t. I don’t regret a single second of my life with Lily.”
He curled a hand around her nape. “I know that. You don’t need to say it.”
Her hands relaxed. “Well, I just had to be sure you knew.”
He gave her nape a reassuring squeeze. “I’m going to head out, but before I go, there’s one more thing we need to discuss.”
She frowned slightly. “What?”
“This.” He pulled her in for a kiss. At the first brush of his lips against hers, memories assaulted him. He had never forgotten the taste of her, the feel of her. Now, that taste was even richer, even sweeter than he’d remembered.
He restrained himself from plundering and taking what he wanted, choosing instead to go slow and easy. He thought, perhaps, they both needed slow and easy.
Her breath was uneven when they pulled apart. “What was that?”
He grinned. “A kiss, if memory serves.” He cradled her face and brushed her lips with his thumb. “You were always so fucking good at that. The best. I’ve never forgotten.”
She blinked. “The best? Me?”
“Always were. That hasn’t changed.”
“Oh. But why did you kiss me?”
“I’ve made it clear where I expect us to go, you and I. I know you have reservations. We’ll talk about them, work through them. After that, if you’re truly not interested, we’ll find a way to exist for our daughter’s sake.”
Her chin went up. “How do you know I’m even interested?”
His eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened for a moment, then he went back to an easy grin. “You kissed me back.”
“You took me by surprise.”
He leaned in closer. “Keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel better.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you trying to annoy me?”
She was too fucking cute. “No. I’m trying to seduce you. Slowly.”
Her mouth dropped open.
“Bye, Lily. There are still agents nearby if you need them. I’ll let you know when to expect the movers and I’ll see you both tomorrow.” He kissed her forehead, then stepped back. She stood at the sink with her arms crossed, her face in disbelief and confusion. He’d hoped things between them would be more settled, but it would need some more time.
Three days, he decided as he walked out the door. Surely, three days would be enough time for her to get used to him again, and for her to – hopefully – fall in love with him again.
Then he’d start thinking about his proposal.
Lily watched him leave, her mind whirling. Did he really want them to be a couple, to pick up where they left off, as best they could? She still wasn’t sure she believed it. Nor was she sure he’d really forgiven her for her betrayal, for leaving him all those years ago. She’d lived with the fear of this conversation for years, and it seemed as though it had all gone too smoothly.
When her parents had first disowned her, when she’d first been separated from Lorenzo because she’d been deemed ‘not good enough’ for him, she’d been left with heaps of self-doubt and a low value of her worth. It was only now, after a few years of living on her own with Liliana and proving she could take care of them both, that her self-confidence had filtered back.
She wanted to believe he was sincere. When he’d gone to see Liliana, she’d snuck up to the room and watched him spend a few tender moments with their daughter. She knew he truly wanted to be a father. If she were honest with herself, she always known he’d be an excellent one.
How could he think he wasn’t worthy of her? The truth was, she was the one who wasn’t worthy of him. Her scandalous family wouldn’t make her good princess material. Lorenzo’s family wasn’t likely to accept her, either.
Would he still want her, if his family rejected her, as she expected they would? It’s true, once upon a time Lorenzo had wanted her. Tonight, he’d said the same. She’d certainly never stopped wanting him. After years
of trying to connect with him and failing, she had learned to stop dreaming, stop hoping for a reconciliation. All her hopes and dreams focused on Liliana now; she had none to spare for her own.
What did a woman do when she could dream again? Could hope for things she thought she’d never have?
She ran both hands through her hair, fisted them for a moment, then let go. She couldn’t think about this now. She had to prepare for their move and, once Liliana woke in the early hours of the day, it would be harder to do. So, she’d just have to do it now.
Chapter Eight
Lorenzo typically drove, even with a protection agent. He loved the freedom and the control it provided. It was another liability issue – if he got in an accident and someone else was harmed, God forbid, or even if they weren’t – he could face some serious legal issues and the family could be scrutinized even further in the court of public opinion.
Today, however, with so much on his mind, he let his agent drive. Now that it wasn’t just himself at risk anymore, he’d have to give up this little bit of freedom. Yet, with his little girl, he had a feeling he’d be getting much more in return.
On the way back to the castle, he called Rio and explained the situation. He wanted to tell his parents first – and these things were best not discussed on phones anyway – but he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t have time to swing by Rio’s apartment, so on the phone it would have to be. Though he could tell Rio was shocked, he was also damn good at his job. Lorenzo knew he could trust him, and Rio would help him with whatever was needed.
He arrived in his chambers a little later, surprised to see none of his family lurking about. It was rather late, he supposed, but he expected to see at least one brother lying in wait for him. If they were sleeping, he was sorry for it; they wouldn’t get any sleep once they found out what was happening.
He tossed aside his jacket, then linked his hands together and stretched his arms. He rolled his head and stretched his neck, then rolled his shoulders back. Simple things he often did before running – unless he was running from a dream – and they helped to calm him a little now.
His heart pounded faster as he opened the video messaging application on his phone. His hands were just a little shaky when he tapped the screen to dial his mother. They’d be sleeping, he knew, and would expect the worst – especially from him – but he had no choice. Everything had changed for him, and his parents, the first people he ever loved in the world, deserved to know why.
His mother, Genevieve’s, face, still shaking off sleep, appeared in view. Her dark blonde hair, which she’d passed onto Marcello, was mussed but only slightly. She was graceful and beautiful; even as a son he recognized that.
“Lorenzo? Has something happened? What’s wrong?”
“Hi, Mama. Is Papa awake? There’s something you both need to know.”
Her face turned as she sat up, her hand disappearing for a moment from view. “He’s getting up.”
“How was he feeling today?”
His mother’s eyes narrowed. “It’s that sort of news?”
“Yes. Good news, though. I’m quite happy about it, and I hope you are, too, once you know it.”
“Oh. Well. All right. He had a good day.”
A gruff voice called from off-screen. “He is right here.” The camera turned and his father, Gabriel’s, irritated face came into view as he took the phone from his mother. It was comforting to see his father’s salt-and-pepper hair with matching mustache. His face was wrinkled with sleep, though his eyes were clear. It felt good to see his father recovering. His heart filled with emotion at the thought that, if his heart attack had been more severe, Lorenzo would be telling this news to just his mother.
“I don’t appreciate my family talking about me behind my back.”
“Calm down, Gabriel,” his mother said as the screen now filled with both of their faces.
“My dear, I will not calm down.”
“Do you want to hear our son’s news or not?”
His father’s mustache twitched, then he nodded. “Well, my son?”
He took a deep breath, then smiled. “I just wanted to congratulate you on becoming grandparents again.”
His parents shared a glance then turned to him. “Indeed, my son?”
His smile faded a little; he should have known they’d likely first want details before celebrating. He wouldn’t let it get to him; he was proud of his daughter, and he knew they would be, too.
He fleetingly wondered if his parents already knew about Lily and Liliana, or if they’d been the ones to interfere five years ago. He’d have to watch their reactions closely. “You have a four-year-old granddaughter.”
“Is that so?” his father asked. His mother remained uncharacteristically silent.
“Yes, and before you even ask, I didn’t know. The mother didn’t tell me. I just found out recently, as in this morning. Both her and Liliana – that’s my daughter – are moving into the castle tomorrow, so they can be better protected. The press will catch wind of it if we don’t head them off first. It’s a miracle that no one’s discovered it already.”
His father cleared his throat. “Have you told your brothers?”
Lorenzo shook his head. “I wanted you to know first. I’ll wake them up after this and tell them.”
Genevieve clutched her husband’s hand. “What about the mother?”
“Her family is high society in Italy.” His mother stiffened, but he kept going; there were a lot of high society families, even in other countries, who didn’t approve of the Vallerian monarchy. He wondered if her reaction related to that, or something else entirely.
“She hasn’t spoken to them in over four years, since Liliana was born. They cut her off financially and emotionally. She’s been raising Liliana on her own and, once you meet her, once you meet them both, you’ll know she’s done a great job. Liliana’s bright and fun and happy.” His voice choked up. “She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh, my son.” His father’s voice was a little gruff, too, though Lorenzo didn’t think it was from sleep.
“The mother’s name is Cecilia Brionne. I always called her Lily; when she had the baby, she chose my nickname for her as the baby’s name. I think that says quite a lot, don’t you?”
His father glanced at his mother again. “Yes, it does. We knew the Brionnes many years ago, though it was only socially, and through the Italian prime minister at the time. Her family was involved in a scandal, were they not?”
Lorenzo stiffened. “Yes, but, as I said, she hasn’t spoken to them in years. They won’t be involved in Liliana’s life, or ours.”
“How…how did you meet Cecilia?” his mother asked.
Lorenzo looked away, then back. He couldn’t hide it, he knew. “When I came back from, well, from my last mission in the army.” He cleared his throat. “I was recovering in the hospital, as I’m sure you remember. Lily was stationed there as a volunteer with the VSO, and that’s where I met her. We grew close over those several months. Really close.”
His mother’s face was even; it was the diplomatic face she showed the world when she didn’t want anyone to know what she was thinking. Lorenzo wondered why she used it now. “You never mentioned you were seeing someone back then, not any of the times we came to visit. Why?”
“It was against the rules for us – a volunteer and a patient – to see each other, and I didn’t want her to get in trouble. I knew once I left the hospital, we could be together and make it public. We were planning for that. I’d been discharged for just a few days when she broke things off with me.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t just some misguided emotions on your part? This did happen during your recovery. Perhaps, since she helped you recover, you incorrectly thought you felt more than you did.”
Lorenzo quickly shook his head. “No, Mama. I’m the one who recovered, physically and emotionally. I know that. However, she did help me. She reminded me what it was like to feel
, just as much as the therapist did. I didn’t want to feel anything once I got back, because all I did feel was fear and terror.”
His father cleared his throat again. “Did she tell you why she walked away, my son? That was when you had your, er, relapse, was it not?”
Lorenzo nodded stiffly. “I suffered from depression after she left me, it’s true.” He gave his parents a keen look. “She told me a little bit about why she left me, and what happened after I left. What little she did tell me indicates someone interfered in our relationship and deprived me of the first four years of my child’s life.”
Both his parents winced. What the hell did that mean? Could they both be involved in this?
“I’m going to look into things on my own. If this person poses a danger to her and Liliana, I need to make sure they’re protected. I’ve had agents on them both since I found out, in any case.”
“I’m sure that whoever is involved in this, my son, poses no danger.”
“Papa, you can’t be serious. Think of everything our family has been through in the last year. If we knew without a doubt who was involved, we could manage things better, but I’m not taking any chances.”
His mother’s brows drew together, and her face took on the same worried look she’d had at his father’s hospital bedside a few months ago. “What will you do if Cecilia leaves again, Lorenzo?”
“She won’t leave me again. She’s the mother of my child, and we’re going to be in each other’s lives for a very long time, forever if I get my way.”
“Forever?” his mother choked. “You want to marry her?”
“I wanted to marry her five years ago before she left me. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved. Seeing her again, I know now that love never went away. I couldn’t stop loving her then. I certainly can’t stop now. If anyone tries to come between us again, they’ll find my support with her and Liliana. I’ll do anything to protect them and keep them near.”
Both faces paled.
“So, you’ll be living together?”
“No, Mama, not at the start. We both need a little time, and Liliana needs to adjust. I don’t want to rush things.”
Lorenzo & Lily (Royals of Valleria #8) Page 10
