The Cowboy Comes Home
Page 20
Madge shrugged. “Guess he knew where they were. How else would he find them?”
“You are wrong. Everyone is wrong.”
“Right. Everyone is wrong but you. I suggest you consider why you need to believe he is innocent.” She pushed to her feet and stuck her face close to Sally’s. “Perhaps you better consider what Abe will think of such rabid defense of another man.” She stalked from the room, heading for the door, then stopped and returned. “Sally, I know you feel you have to defend the underdog, but in this case there is more to consider.” She again left the room, and the outer door clicked shut behind her.
Sally sank to the closest chair. How could Madge have done such an about-face, going from defending Linc, even so far as to tell Sally to follow her heart, to believing his guilt? Linc was innocent, even if no one believed it. She knew it with all her heart.
She pushed her way through the rest of her chores and made an adequate supper for Abe and the children, though she had no appetite.
Abe waited until they’d finished and the children left the room to speak to her. Of course he’d heard the rumors and must address the situation. “Did you hear that Linc found the Ogilvy jewels?”
“Madge came by and mentioned it.”
“Seems he isn’t the upright citizen I believed he was. I don’t want you or the children to associate with him any further. I’ll tell the children right away.” He left the room, taking for granted Sally’s agreement.
She studied the fourth finger on her left hand. Abe would one day, and probably soon, put a ring on that finger. He had the right to expect her to agree with his decisions. She rubbed a fingertip around the spot where the ring would be. Wasn’t this what she wanted? To be safe and secure in a house with a man who would always take care of her, always believe he knew what was best for his family? It held a certain protective quality. She wouldn’t have to deal with hard things. Abe would see to that.
Just as her father had done his best to protect her. When he died she’d felt so vulnerable. All sorts of bad things had happened. The drought and Depression had hit. Men were swept away to relief camps. People went broke and moved away, as broken as their bank accounts. The Morgans had lost most of their land and almost lost their house. She did not have the strength to face such adversity anymore. Abe would take care of her.
In the other room, Robbie yelled at his father. He obviously did not like Abe’s instruction to stay away from Linc.
A little later Sally left and walked home. The road seemed longer than usual, the heat more oppressive, the dust harsher.
Mother waited at the kitchen table. “You’re late.”
“The heat slowed my feet.”
Mother studied her long and hard before she spoke. “Madge told me about the McCoys. I trust you have had nothing further to do with that man.”
That man. “I suppose you mean Linc?”
“You know I do. I was right to tell you to avoid him.”
Sally tried to control the words rushing to her tongue. She succeeded only in controlling the anger accompanying them. “Mother, I can’t believe you judge Linc without evidence. In fact, against evidence. He found the jewels and turned them over to the police. I understand they were returned to Mrs. Ogilvy. What would you have him do? Why not continue to hide them to protect himself and his father? I think he did the only noble thing he could do, and it must have taken a great deal of courage. Though I expect he thought he would be heard without prejudice and judgment. I suppose that was his mistake. To trust people to treat him fairly.”
Mother stared at Sally like she’d announced she intended to shave her head. “Are you planning to defend him against all others?”
“What would be the point? People will believe whatever they want.” A weariness like nothing she’d ever known tugged at her bones. She wanted to go to her room and sink into her bed.
“Sally, you are engaged to Abe. I hope you will conduct yourself in a manner that honors that.”
Her mother needn’t have bothered with her warning. Linc had made no effort to see her or speak to her in two days. She didn’t expect he would do so in the future. After all, he knew she was planning to marry Abe. He would respect that.
The next few days proved the accuracy of her thoughts. She glimpsed Linc once or twice, but he didn’t even glance in her direction. The Mountie returned once that she saw. He might well have been there other times.
Sally wanted to go over and ask how Linc’s father was. She wanted to tell Linc she didn’t believe what everyone was saying, but Linc needed nothing from her and Abe had been clear about not speaking to him.
She looked around for Robbie. Twenty seconds ago he was playing in his fort, but now he was missing. Again. Since Linc no longer spent time with the boy, Robbie had returned to his practice of disappearing, disobeying and generally letting one and all know how unhappy he was.
Stepping outside, she called his name. No response, of course. She trudged to the barn and again called his name. A faint rustle alerted her to his location, and she went to where he huddled in the far corner. She sank down beside him.
“He’s not a bad man,” Robbie mumbled.
She knew he meant Linc. “I know that.”
“Then why can’t I see him?”
“You have to obey your father.”
“But he’s wrong.”
Sally didn’t reply. She agreed with Robbie, but it would be wrong to speak against his father.
“Do you think he’ll leave?”
The question scraped her heart hollow. Who would blame him if he rode away and never returned? “I expect he will stay with his father.” It was likely the only reason he remained. Sally had not given him any other reason. Nor could she. She had promised to marry Abe.
She waited for a sense of peace and security to ease through her.
But she waited in vain.
Chapter Fifteen
Linc sat at his pa’s bedside, watching the covers over his chest to make sure they continued to rise and fall. Pa barely roused from his uneasy rest anymore.
Doc stepped into the room and shook his head. “It won’t be long now. Call me if you need anything, though there is little I can do at this point. I’m sorry.”
Linc nodded without taking his gaze off Pa. Seemed there was little anyone could do to solve any of Linc’s problems. He simply had to accept life would not be what he had allowed himself to dream.
The Mountie had returned a day ago and said Linc’s name was cleared. The statement left by the only eyewitness was vague, but the Mountie had been able to locate the man and he was certain there were only two men, and Linc wasn’t one of them.
He’d said charges wouldn’t be laid against Pa because of his weak condition.
Not that it made any difference. People would believe what they chose to believe. There was no point in expecting them to change and suddenly decide Linc McCoy would be welcome in their midst—accepted as a noble, honest man.
He’d return west, join up on a ranch and hope he could forget this time in his life. But his heart refused to find peace with his plan. He wanted to stay. He wanted to live here in Grandmama’s house, raise a family with Sally. Be part of the community.
But the community would never accept him.
Sally would not be part of his dream. Moreover, she didn’t deserve to have her name associated with his. Far better to be Mrs. Abe Finley, an accepted and respected member of the community.
Grandmama hugged him when he told her he would not be staying permanently. “I’m sorry, Linc. I hoped and prayed things would turn out differently. I will continue to pray for things to change. I need you.” She drew back to look into his face, studying him so hard he had to force himself not to break eye contact. Her eyes clouded with tears. “I think you need things you can only find here.”
His only reply was to hug her back. What he needed and wanted were not choices he had. He returned to Pa’s bedside, afraid to leave him alone.
Pa
stirred and opened his eyes, clouded with pain and confusion. He tried to pull in a deep breath and coughed, pain spasming through him.
Linc knelt at the side of his bed. “Pa, just rest.”
Pa shook his head. “Call your grandmother.”
Linc hesitated. Was this the last? He sniffed back a rush of tears and went to the doorway. “Grandmama?” His voice was low, but he couldn’t have made it louder if he tried. His throat seemed to have closed off.
Grandmama hurried from the kitchen. “Is it…?”
“Pa asked for you.” He waited for her to join him and led her to the chair close to Pa’s head.
She took his hand. “Oh, Jonah. I hate to see you like this.”
“Mother Shaw, you have been a true Christian woman.”
Both Linc and Grandmama leaned close to hear what Pa said. Linc took Pa’s other hand. He couldn’t speak past his pain, but no matter how much it hurt to watch, he would stay with Pa until the end.
Pa turned his gaze to Linc. “You have been a good son. Always. I’m glad your name is cleared.” He fell silent. His eyes drifted shut. His breathing was so shallow Linc feared it had stopped. “Oh, Pa. Don’t die without making things right with God.”
Pa’s eyes flew open.
Linc couldn’t believe the flare of life in them. Maybe the doctor was wrong. Maybe Pa would fight back and live.
“I wanted you both here so I could tell you. I made my peace with God. He took away my sins. My burden and guilt are gone.” His smile was the sweetest thing Linc had ever seen. “I only wish I hadn’t been stubborn so long.”
Tears streamed from Grandmama’s eyes as she leaned over and kissed Pa’s cheek. “Jonah, my prayers have been answered.” Her voice broke, and she couldn’t go on for a moment. “Be sure and say hello to Mary for me.”
Linc pressed a kiss to Pa’s cheek then. He thought Pa was crying, then realized the moisture on his cheek came from his own tears. He hadn’t even realized he cried.
“Go to sleep now, Pa. I’ll see you in Heaven.” His heart cracked. He wanted to share life with Pa as a Christian, but it would never happen.
He and Grandmama continued to hold Pa’s hands. Linc stroked Pa’s forehead and tried to sing the words to the old song, “In the sweet by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful shore.” His throat grew tight but he forced the words out, not caring that the melody was lost in the cracking of his voice. Any more than he cared about the tears flowing freely down his face and dripping to the bedcovers.
“He’s gone,” Grandmama whispered. “Gone to Heaven.” She choked back a sob.
But neither of them moved. Finally Linc closed Pa’s eyes, crossed his hands over his chest and stood at the side of the bed. He pulled his grandmother to her feet to stand beside him. “I will miss him more than anyone will ever know.”
Grandmama turned into Linc’s arms and sobbed.
He led her into the kitchen and eased her to a chair, then made them tea.
Grandmama sniffed and dried her tears. “Mary is gone. Harris is gone. Now your pa. And you’ll soon be gone, too.” She let out a shuddering breath. “I will be alone again.”
Linc squeezed her hands. “I will be here long enough to make arrangements for Pa’s burial. I wish I could stay longer.”
Grandmama gave him a fierce look. “There’s no reason you can’t stay. You’re a good man. You know it and I know it. Why not give the people around here a chance to discover it?”
“I thought I had. Seems they are only waiting for a chance to see me as anything but good.”
“If you want something badly enough, you will fight for it.”
Did she mean his reputation or Sally? He didn’t care enough about the first to remain. He cared too much about Sally to stay and watch her marry Abe.
Grandmama patted his hand. “I guess you say how much you care by what you do.”
This time he knew she meant Sally. He pushed to his feet. “I need to call the doctor and the undertaker.”
Sally saw the doctor and undertaker both go into Mrs. Shaw’s house as she crossed the yard after taking the lunchtime dishwater to the garden. She dropped the pail and pressed her hands to her mouth. Linc’s father had died. And she hadn’t been there to comfort him.
It was not her right. In fact, she was forbidden to speak to him.
Choking back a cry, she grabbed the pail and dashed for the house. She sank to the nearest chair and buried her head in her hands. Weeping for his loss. Weeping for her loss.
Her loss? She jerked her head upright. She had chosen what she wanted. A secure life. A solid home. A man who had a steady job.
But the words echoed in her empty heart.
What would her father say? Mother was certain he’d approve of Abe. Her father was a solid, steady man who provided a secure home. Even when they moved from Edmonton she had not worried, although they’d lived in a tiny sod shanty while the big house was built. Even there she’d felt safe and secure.
Because her father was taking care of her.
Because she trusted his love.
A fleeting truth fluttered through her head. Something important that she couldn’t quite capture and identify.
She retraced her thoughts. Her father took care of her. She trusted his love. Trusted his love. She heard his voice helping her memorize Psalm chapter ninety-one. “Sally, my dear little daughter, whatever happens, remember God loves you and will always be with you. He will cover you with His wings. You need not fear the terror of the night or anything that comes against you. God is your refuge. He will guard you in all your ways.”
She missed her father. His steady presence. His care and love. But she didn’t want someone to replace him. He would be disappointed if he thought she needed someone to provide the protection he’d taught her to find in God.
God was her Heavenly Father. He would care for her.
Not seeing anything before her, she stared long and hard. What did it mean? What was she to do?
By suppertime she was a bundle of confusion. “I can’t stay. Just leave the dishes and I’ll do them in the morning.”
Abe’s look demanded an explanation.
She couldn’t provide him one and gave a vague shrug, as if to insinuate it was something she couldn’t discuss. He nodded as if he understood. Probably thought it was a woman thing. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, but let him think what he wanted. She had to get home.
Mother was in the garden when Sally approached the house, but she managed to slip by unnoticed. She hurried to her room, picked up her Bible and found Psalm ninety-one. She read it over and over, feeling as if the answer was in front of her face. Yet she couldn’t put her finger on it.
Oh, God. I feel like something is missing. Show me what I need.
Trust in the Lord. Trust His love and care.
Linc’s words came to her as clearly as if he stood before her. Friends who trust God to take care of them. Was her confusion because she had put her trust in what marrying a man like Abe could give her…security and a nice home?
She looked closely at the idea. How could she expect a man to do that for her? Shouldn’t her trust be in God?
Thoughts swirled through her head as she assessed the choices before her. Trust God, or trust Abe to give her what she needed?
The words of a hymn flooded her mind. “Be not dismayed whate’er betide. God will take care of you.” Softly, she sang all four verses. It was the answer she sought. God was her refuge and shelter. Her anchor. Not a house. Not a man. Not trusting in things of this earth that proved so fleeting and insecure. It was God who would take care of her. It wasn’t even fair to expect Abe to take on such an onerous role.
She fell to her knees beside the bed. “Thank you, Father God.”
She rose from the floor and laughed. She’d been looking for security in the wrong places.
Her heart flying free, her feet light, she descended the stairs.
And came face to face with Mother.
&nb
sp; Her mood dipped, and then she stiffened her shoulders.
“Mother, we need to talk.”
“When did you get home?”
“A few minutes ago. I slipped by you because I needed time to think and pray.” She led her mother to the kitchen and indicated she should sit down.
She sat across from her and considered how to break the news. Gently as possible. “Mother, I have been seeking a replacement for Father. I wanted a man who could guarantee to make me feel as safe and secure as he did.”
Mother smiled. “He was a good father.”
“Yes, he was. And if he knew how I’ve been thinking, I feel he would be disappointed with me.”
Mother looked startled. “Why?”
“Didn’t he teach me to put my trust in God, not man, not possessions, not circumstances or belongings?”
Mother hesitated. “Yes. But I don’t see—”
“Both you and I thought Abe could do for me what Father did. You know, provide security, safety.” She didn’t say love because that had not entered the agreement. “Father’s job was to guide me from childhood to adulthood by teaching me not to seek all those things in a person, but in God, and he did his job well.”
“I’m sure Abe can provide as well as your father did.”
“But Mother, I can’t marry a man and expect him to do what only God can. Only God can promise to take care of me. To guard and guide me. It’s what Father taught us all.”
“Yes, but—”
“Mother, I can’t marry a man I don’t love. Do you think Father would want me to?” It was a loaded question and not entirely fair, but Mother had used the same argument to persuade Sally and now needed to understand she couldn’t do it.
“I suppose you think love will keep you warm. Give you a roof over your head?”
“That’s the whole point. I need to trust God to take care of me. He is my Heavenly Father. Doesn’t the scripture say, ‘If God so clothe the grass, which is today in the field, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith’?”