by Kit Morgan
His words and actions so stunned her that she forgot to keep crying. “I … I’m sorry if you did. I don’t want to be a bother or worry to you, but if I don’t tell you about this and let you make up your mind, then I’m going to drive myself mad.”
“What do ya mean, make up my mind? ‘Bout what?”
Lily took a deep breath, sat up straight, pulled up the right sleeve of her dress as far as it would go and twisted her arm around. “About this.”
As she expected, Oscar’s eyes went round as saucers. From the elbow up past her sleeve were horrible red scars, forming an ugly pattern over her skin like wax melted down the side of a candle. “Lily Fair, what happened?”
Lily’s heart warmed at the concern in his voice. But would that be enough? Somehow she doubted it. “Back in ‘65, Sherman’s army reached Charleston and the surrounding area. They took everything they could carry, then they burned our plantation to the ground. My mother-in-law was there too, and …” She started to sob again.
Oscar pulled her onto his lap to cradle her in his arms. “Hush now, darlin’, it’s all right. Ya don’t hafta cry. I know it musta been terrible for ya, but it’s just some scars. Ya didn’t think that was gonna bother me, did ya?” He leaned to one side and pulled a handkerchief out of is pocket. “Here, honey, wipe them tears.”
His voice was so soft, so deep and gentle, that it made Lily cry harder. He truly cared for her, she could hear it, feel it and wanted it. But what would he do when he saw the rest? “It’s … not just some scars, Oscar. It’s not just my arm …”
“It’s all right –”
“No, you don’t understand!” she wailed. “I’m covered with them! I tried to rescue my mother-in-law and, and I couldn’t save her. But my dress caught on fire, and my shoes. My legs, my back, my … my breasts. Everywhere from my shoulders down, except my hands and forearms. They’re all over …”
Oscar stared at her in open-mouthed shock, and she braced herself for the inevitable. He would tell her he didn’t want her anymore …
But he didn’t. Instead he slid her off his lap, stood, then picked her up in his arms like he was carrying her over the threshold again. “Poor thing … ya poor, poor darlin’. My God, I cain’t imagine what that musta been like.” Then her rested his forehead against hers and softly began to weep with her.
Lily couldn’t react to it, it was so unexpected. She could only cry in his big, strong arms as he paced back and forth, his head still resting on hers, his arms holding her tight against him like she was a child being comforted after a nightmare. Several times he stopped and looked at the sky, his mouth moving without sound, and she realized he was praying. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say he was thanking God that she was alive.
She didn’t know what to do now. It was one thing for someone to hear her story, another to see the results – and even now, he’d only gotten a tiny glimpse, not the whole picture. Would he be repulsed by her anyway? Would he want to be around her after seeing what she’d suffered? No one ever had before.
When they both ran out of tears for the moment, Oscar set her on her feet. “Lily, honey, I’m so sorry ‘bout what happened to ya, and yer mother-in-law. No one should hafta suffer like ya did. Out here, the war didn’t touch us much – all we knew was what folks told us when they passed through. And back then, this wasn’t even a real stage stop. We just let folks rest a couple days ‘fore they moved on. We kinda escaped all the worst of it.”
She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. “I’m glad you did, for your sake. This place is like a refuge, a safe haven. I love it here. I know that sounds silly, as I only arrived yesterday. But I already love it.”
“That don’t surprise me none, honey. Everyone loves this place. That’s why some folks come just to come – they like the food and the company, and that’s all right by us.”
Lily sniffled, wiped her eyes and looked up at him. “You won’t think I’m ugly?”
Oscar smiled warmly and shook his head. “How could I ever think that, Lily Fair? You’re my wife – ‘for better or worse, for richer or poorer.’ ‘Sides, I don’t exactly look like Harrison or Colin Cooke – them are some handsome men, any woman’ll tell ya. And ya should’ve seen their older brother Duncan. ‘Member I told ya about him and how he ended up movin’ to England?”
“Yes, I remember. But I …” She found herself laughing. “… I didn’t believe a word of it …”
“Hey, I told ya true. The man’s an honest-to-God duke. But that’s not the point. I know I’m nothing special as looks go. I know what folks say about me – the stuff they say to my face, and what they tell Ma and my brothers when they think I won’t find out. And it don’t matter one bitty bit.”
“What do they say? Are you going to tell me?”
He brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes, bent down and kissed her on the forehead. “Are ya gonna show me?”
Lily’s first reaction was to pull away, but she didn’t. He had a right to see. He was going to see them anyway – why not now? She wiped her eyes once more and took a deep breath. “You’re sure no one’s around?”
“I’m sure. Anson and Henry got chores to do and Ma’s probably sewing about now. Besides, they all know I brought ya down here to steal a kiss or two from ya.”
Lily gasped in shock. “Oscar White, I declare!”
He chuckled, a deep rumble Lily swore she could feel in her chest.
She stood, stepped away and glanced around, just in case, took another deep breath, then began undoing the buttons of her dress. With gritted teeth and eyes closed tight she lifted it over her head, then did the same with her shift. Finally, suppressing a whimper of terror, she pulled her underthings down and stepped out of them before opening her eyes again. “There. This is me, Oscar. I wish I could give you better, but …”
Oscar didn’t say a word, just stared for a full minute. Then he slowly got up and walked around her, a silent inspection. She felt like an ancient statue in a museum – one that had been badly damaged and pieced back together haphazardly. Time went by, two minutes, three. And still he remained silent.
Lily had no idea what he was thinking. The only people who’d seen her in this state since the fire were women. And all of them were so repulsed by the sight that they’d given her the first excuse they could think of and left as fast as their legs could carry them. No man had ever seen her scars except the doctors that treated her burns, most of whom had told her she would die (and a few who’d said it would be a mercy). But she’d fought hard for her life.
Now here she was, naked as the day she was born, praying her husband wouldn’t be revolted by her hideous body …
“Lily Fair?”
She opened her eyes, not realizing she’d closed them again.
Oscar stood in front of her, tears running unchecked down his face. His voice was hoarse, thick with emotion. “Lily Fair, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“But Osc –” Her objection was cut off by his lips on hers, his arms around her back. She gave in, grabbing his belt – her upper arms pinned by his – and pulling herself closer.
When he finally pulled away an eternity or two later, he looked into her eyes in wonder. “And I ain’t just sayin’ yer beautiful out here, though ya are.” He tapped her shoulder. “I mean here too.” He put a hand over her heart. “And here.” He moved his hand to her head. “I cain’t fathom what that was like for ya, but ya beat it. Ya beat it and ya survived, and oh my, what a woman you are, Lily Fair. What a rare and beautiful woman.”
“You really think I’m beautiful?”
“Yes, I do, Lily Fair. Every inch of ya, inside and out.”
She still had trouble believing it. Didn’t he see …? Or maybe … maybe it was she who didn’t see. “You don’t regret marrying me?”
Oscar’s brow furrowed. “‘Course not! What kinda silly question is that?”
“I thought it was a logical one,” she said, running a finger down
a scar on her sternum.
Hands on his hips, Oscar shook his head. “Woman, I can see you and I are gonna go a round or two over this. But I ain’t gonna quarrel with ya today. Sure, ya got some bad scars on ya, and some men might be put off by that, but I ain’t them.”
Lily looked at him, her eyes filling with admiration. “I should say not.”
He nodded. “Good. Now we got that settled, I have another place I wanna show you.” He scooped her clothes off the ground and handed them to her.
“But … you mean … that’s it?”
Oscar’s eyebrow shot skyward. “Were ya hopin’ for more? Ya want rejection? ‘Cause if ya do, ya ain’t gonna get it from me, Mrs. White. Now c’mon.” Not waiting for her to dress, he took her by the hand and led her from the grassy banks of the pool.
“Where are we going?” she asked, feeling the need to say something, not to mention put her clothes on.
“You’ll see. It’s another special place.”
Lily let him lead her up the trail along the creek for about ten minutes before it veered off into the woods and down a hill. There she slipped her shift over her head. After another ten minutes they reached the bottom of a small canyon. “What’s that noise?” she asked, her ears picking up a faint roar.
“Ya’ll see.” Oscar squeezed her hand and continued on the trail. The ground was flat here, the canyon narrow, its upward slope on either side of them steeper the further they walked.
The roar got louder, and soon she recognized the sound and gasped in delight. “It’s a waterfall, isn’t it?”
“Yep, and a right purty one too. Just like you are.”
“I look like a waterfall?” she teased. The fact Oscar wasn’t repulsed by her scars was still sinking in. She felt better, more confident her new husband wouldn’t toss her aside and find himself a new wife. She’d underestimated him, a mistake on her part – she shouldn’t have assumed the worst, but all she’d been through had caused her ability to look at the positive side of things to atrophy. Now it was waking up, and she liked the feeling.
“No, silly woman, ya ain’t a waterfall,” Oscar said. “‘Less’n yer crying, but I do a fair share of that myself.”
They’d stopped and she took a moment to look into his eyes. “It didn’t bother me that you cried. In fact, it … made me feel better.”
“Did it, now? Why d’ya suppose that is, Lily Fair?”
“Because you weren’t weeping out of pity for me. You were weeping with me. There’s a big difference, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” He gave her hand another squeeze and led her on.
They went around a sharp bend, and there was the waterfall. It was only about fifteen feet high, but it was wide and loud and filled the air with misty spray. Lily saw the rainbow it made and smiled in delight. “Oh, Oscar, this is beautiful.”
“Ain’t it, though? I love comin’ here.”
“Do you do your thinking here, too?”
“Nah, but I do like standin’ under the waterfall when it’s real hot. That water sure does cool ya off.” He put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
She smiled and leaned against him, enjoying the warmth against her partially still-bare skin. Funny, she hadn’t noticed she’d walked that whole way with him with hardly a stitch on. But she felt so safe with him, so accepted, that she hadn’t felt the need to cover completely up. “What was it like living here all your life?” she asked. “Never going anywhere, seeing only the people passing through?”
“Well, it ain’t like we never leave. But I like living in a place so beautiful, I don’t have to seek beauty anywhere else.” He faced her and looked into her eyes. “You were the only beauty that was missin’.”
Lily’s lower lip trembled and the tears started again. But for once, they were tears of joy. She dropped the rest of her clothes on the ground and pulled Oscar close.
Eventually she and Oscar got dressed and headed back to the house. Where the trail was wide enough he’d put an arm around her and she’d rest her head on his shoulder. His legs being so much longer than hers made it a little clumsy, but Oscar did his best to match her pace. They didn’t talk much, just enjoyed each other’s quiet company.
She noticed Oscar always held her hand or was touching her somehow, a silent reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere and wasn’t going to send her away either. He’d accepted her, scars and all – and then some. She realized how blessed she was and almost cried several times along the trail, but managed to keep the tears at bay.
When they got home Ma was already busy preparing lunch. “I was wonnerin’ when y’two were comin’ back. How was the creek?”
Lily smiled. “I thought it was wonderful.”
Oscar grinned. “So did I. It’s even better with Lily there.”
“Glad t’hear it,” Ma said, her eyebrow raised. Lily got the impression the woman knew they’d done more than just look at a body of water, but she didn’t mind. Mothers always knew. “Now yer back, Oscar, ya wanna help yer brothers fer a minute in th’barn, while I have Lily help me?”
“Sure, Ma.” Oscar said. “What’re they havin’ trouble with?”
“Tryna figger out where t’put yer weddin’ present.”
“Oh, that,” he said with a laugh. “I plumb forgot.”
Lily nodded, having forgotten too, then remembered the Cookes’ gift. “The cattle and bulls… will they need a lot of room?”
“Depends on how much they like to wander,” Oscar said. “The Triple-C Ranch has plenty of grazin’ land. We got some pasture beyond the trees behind the barn, but I’m sure we’ll hafta fence off more.”
“Oh dear,” Lily said. “I won’t be much help with that.”
“‘Course y’won’t,” Ma said. “Ya’ll be helpin’ me in here while th’men figger ‘at out.”
Oscar went to the sideboard where he always kept a full water pitcher and poured himself and Lily a glass. He handed her one, then drained his. He’d mentioned he kept the water handy, as cooking was hot work. “Don’t worry, Ma, we’ll come up with somethin’.” He set down his glass and looked at Lily. “You gonna be all right, honey?”
Her stomach fluttered at the endearment, even though he’d been calling her that all day. “Oh, I’m quite all right now …” She blushed, realizing that she meant more than just his acceptance of her scars. The time they’d spent by the waterfall …
He smiled back, knowing what she meant, and went out the back door.
Ma was chuckling. “My my, y’two did have a good walk, din’tcha?” She winked with her good eye.
Lily smiled despite her embarrassment. She had, but for more reasons than just what her mother-in-law was thinking. “Indeed.”
Chapter 12
After lunch preparation, Lily sat down with Ma for a lesson in mending. “Ya never mended ‘fore?” Ma asked in surprise.
“Only a little, when I lived with my aunt in Denver. I …” Oh heavens, she couldn’t tell the woman she’d thought she was above performing such a menial task, “… wasn’t very good.” That was a version of the truth. Really, she hadn’t been a very good person – uncharitable, unhelpful, unproductive.
After seeing Oscar’s reaction to her terrible secret, she was beginning to realize just how petty she’d been. Toward the end of her aunt’s life it was getting to the point where the two women were happy for scraps, but it wouldn’t have gotten that far if Lily’d had a mind to work. The least she could’ve done was her aunt’s mending on a regular basis. But no, she’d let the poor woman struggle with that until her dying day.
“I’ll show ya some simple stitches ‘n give ya the easy stuff t’start,” Ma told her.
“Thank you, I appreciate that. I’m afraid I have a lot to learn.”
“Don’t worry none, chile, we’ll teach ya everythin’ ya need to know. I’m juss glad yer here. In time, them helpin’ hands o’yers’ll learn a lot.”
Lily giggled at her words. “Was it hard for you to manage wh
ile Oscar went to get me?”
“A li’l. Henry picked up the place ‘n did the laundry ‘n dishwashin’. I cooked, ‘n Anson saw to the stock ‘n outside. But ‘round here y’sure notice when there’s a body missin’. Havin’ an extra one’s a blessin’.”
“I hope I’m able to bless you sooner rather than later.”
“Ain’t you doin’ the blessin’, chile – that’d be th’good Lord. Dunno what His plans are most times, but we’re happy He sent ya here.”
Lily smiled in amazement. In her eyes, she was the one being blessed, not her new family. Oscar had done in a few hours that morning what years of praying hadn’t – he’d made her feel good about herself, accepted her. Or was that the Lord telling her how He felt through her new husband, as if Oscar was the Almighty’s hands extended? “My goodness,” she whispered.
“Whassat, chile?” Ma asked.
“Oh, nothing, just thinking aloud.” Lily hoped Ma had a handkerchief handy – she suddenly felt like crying again. The good Lord had answered her prayers, through Oscar! And it wasn’t only Oscar He’d blessed her with, but a whole new family. She buried her face in her hands and shook with silent sobs.
Ma put a hand on her shaking shoulder. “Why, whass the matter, chile?”
Lily lifted her face, wet with tears. “I’m sorry, it’s just that this day has been so wonderful. I can’t tell you how much.”
Ma smiled at her. “Well, ‘at’s how the Lord tends t’work, bringin’ all stuff t’gether fer His good purpose.”
Lily nodded and wiped her tears away with her hand. “All right, I think I have a hold of myself.”
Ma laughed. “Chile, when it comes t’the Lord ‘n His business, ya never have a hold o’ yerself. Best ‘member that.”
Lily laughed and they got to mending.
The lesson was short, easy and soon she’d stitched up a pair of worn socks. “Socks’re the worst,” Ma explained. “‘Specially Henry’s. Once yer ready, ya can tend Oscar’s stuff ‘n I’ll take care of the others’. Juss be glad Oscar ain’t as hard on his clothes as Henry.”
