by Howe, Cheryl
James raised a skeptical eyebrow and took a swig of his brandy. “Then why did he come to me?”
“Because you are an aristocrat and he hopes to get ahead. Noble influence is always valued.”
James shrugged. “I suppose he’s worth meeting.” He stared into his glass, not seeming all that pleased by her revelation.
“He also said he had three eligible daughters.” Astra could not stop her outburst, though she had already said enough to ease her conscious. But erasing James’s frown suddenly seemed more important than anything else. “I think he means to create a union with someone who knows what it’s like to be an outsider. I found him very charming, actually. Making his acquaintance could prove a valuable asset.”
“He’s a friend of yours?”
“No. I had never met him before today. Though, I’ve heard of him.”
“He doesn’t travel in your circles, I suppose?” James’s tone revealed that he lumped himself into that category as well.
“Until recently, I have been in mourning which did not include socializing. Mr. Bainbridge bought an estate near here shortly after Lowell’s death. I would be happy to accompany you to meet him at any time.” Astra leaned toward him, and set her hand on the arm of his chair.
He downed the rest of his brandy, taking no notice of her intimate gesture. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take my frustration out on you. Thank you for your offer. I know you’re not used to peddling the family business.”
“I don’t mind.” Astra studied his downcast gaze in the candlelight. The lines of his face were tense and she gripped the arm of his chair. She thought to touch his cheek but couldn’t find the courage. “In fact, I enjoyed making Mr. Bainbridge’s acquaintance. And even more knowing that I was helping you. I fear I have not done much to hold up my end of our agreement.”
“Oh, you are going to change your mind the night of Lady Phillina’s ball. I plan to stay in the corner and drink heavily.” He suddenly found his empty glass fascinating.
She shook her head. “That is the real reason I came to speak with you. I want to discuss our relationship.”
“I’m sorry.” James lowered his head and did not ask for clarification which was very encouraging. “You look lovely in that dress. Perhaps you should retire. It’s late and I’m going to get drunk.” James stood and strolled to the sideboard that held the brandy.
Astra followed with her glass in hand. “I would rather stay and keep you company. Of course, a lady never gets drunk.”
James glanced suspiciously over his shoulder. If he happened to miss the mischievous tone in her voice, her smirk would assure him she meant to tease him. Not that she’d ever teased anyone before.
He took her glass and gave her a larger portion of sherry while he refilled his glass. He slowly turned, then clicked his glass with hers. “Cheers.”
“Cheers,” she said, and mimicked his healthy gulp.
“I think you better tell me what’s on your mind before I manage to scandalize you again,” James’s gaze dropped to her neckline, then lingered on her mouth.
“I propose to scandalize you.”
James flicked his gaze to hers. She licked her lips, hoping he might take the hint to kiss her. He did not move. The flare in his pupils revealed that he sensed her invitation but he remained still and waiting.
Astra longed to touch his face covered in dark blond stubble, run her fingers over his lower lip but she could not find the boldness. “I know I implored your restraint, but I find myself regretting my words.” The sherry loosened her tongue, though her heart beat wildly at her own audacity.
He straightened. “Astra, I’m not someone who appreciates being toyed with.” His jaw was tight as if he were angry. “We’re two healthy adults living under the same roof. Any intentions I have toward you romantically are not honorable, I assure you.”
“Nor are mine, James.” Astra took a gulp of her sherry and returned to the chair she had vacated. She did not think she would have to articulate her intentions with so much detail.
James followed her and sat in the chair next to her again. He took her free hand in his and rubbed her knuckles. “Now, I am confused.”
Astra let him hold her hand, realizing perhaps he was much more intrigued by an improper relationship than he wanted to admit. That he tried to resist an obviously scandalous situation endeared him to her in a way she didn’t need.
“I propose to be your mistress,” she blurted out, wanting to put a more businesslike tint on the intimacy growing between them.
James dropped her hand. “As in mistress you mean—”
“Lover. I want to be your lover. There I’ve said it, haven’t I?”
James stood and strode to the far side of the room. He stared at the wall a minute with his hands clasped atop his head. He turned to study Astra. His gaze grew more intense with each tick of the clock on the far shelf.
“And if I said yes?”
Astra abruptly stood. Her throat felt dangerously tight. Ivy would tell her this was not the proper way one should obtain a paramour. “It was not a question.”
She strode to the door but James beat her to it.
“Please, Astra.” He gripped her arms, stared into her face, forced her to meet his probing gaze. “I want you. And if you don’t tell me what this is all about, I’ll take you up on your offer. Right here. Right now.”
“Then why don’t you?” The words came from a place inside herself that Astra did not recognize. A deep need to be his lover roared to life, overtaking everything else, including her protective reserve.
James answer was to lower his mouth to hers. He tightened his hold on her upper arms, pulling her against him. His kiss was forceful and demanding. Astra welcomed the thrust of his tongue, his firm grip that held her upright as she sank into the swirling need that weakened her knees and dampened her sex.
James abruptly pulled his mouth from hers and released her. Astra stumbled backwards, but James made no move to help her.
“What the hell has gotten into you?” demanded James.
Astra studied his tense features. “I told you. Refuse me if you wish, but don’t drag this out, James. It’s cruel.”
“Drag this out?” He raised his hands as if he either meant to grab her or strangle her. Instead of doing either, he ran them through his hair. “What happened to the woman I made hysterical by a much tamer kiss than that a few days ago?”
“She could not forget about that kiss and it was driving her mad. Haunting her dreams. Even invading her waking moments.” Astra sucked in a hot breath and tried to remember all her rational, detached reasons for soliciting James. Oh, Ivy was right. She could not do this with James. He was like a raging fever that fed upon itself. Making love to him would no doubt destroy her.
“I’ll wager I’ve thought of that kiss more than you.” His voice lowered and his gaze lingered on her mouth once again.
Astra caught her breath with the realization that he might want her as much as she wanted him. “Have you thought of what could have come after?”
“That I have. Every damned night. I’ve already made love to you ten thousand ways, Astra. You should run lest I show you one of my favorite fantasies that involves that desk over there.”
Astra felt a blush creep up her neck and into her cheeks but she would not allow herself to turn away from James. “Then the idea of taking me as your mistress is not unwelcome to you.”
“Plain taking you is more what I have in mind.” He took a swift step toward her, his long legs tangling in the swirl of her skirts. Instinct and nerves forced her to stiffen, halting him. He didn’t touch her though his hands balled at his side warned he wanted to. “What is it exactly that you are offering, Astra? And what do you want in return?”
Suspicion had returned to his gaze, and it left her on more solid ground. “I only ask that you do not take another woman into your bed during the term of our affair or become engaged.”
“I had no immediate plans of doin
g either.”
“But you are a very desirable man, James. I fear someone else might already have plans for you. Yes, the idea makes me jealous.” He continued to scrutinize her. “I want you, James, and perhaps I stumbled upon a rational reason that will allow me to have my needs met for once.”
James nodded, pressing into her until her back hit the solid door behind her. He braced his hands on the wood near her head. “Are you sure? I’ve never had a mistress. I fear I might be rather demanding.”
“I’m very sure.” She turned her face up to his, surrounded by his heat, his unyielding form.
He slid his arms around the small of her back and maneuvered her back into the study, almost as if they were dancing. When she bumped the edge of the desk, her heart raced. Suddenly, she was slightly unsure of what he would demand of her and more than a little afraid. He gripped her waist, lifted her effortlessly and set her on the desk.
“So what are my limitations? Are you to meet my every demand, my every desire, morning, noon and night?” He stood in the folds of her dress, his hard thighs brushing her trembling knees.
“Within reason,” Astra heard her own breathlessness. “I think mutual satisfaction should be our goal.”
“I like the sounds of that.” He reached for a tendril of her hair. “Could I see your hair down?”
“Are you examining me as you would livestock?”
“Do you mind? This is all rather sudden for me.”
She met his gaze and thought to refuse but could see he was testing her, expecting her to balk and flee in a huff. She had begun this course and she would not hold herself back now. Slowly, she tugged on the combs and unwound her waist length hair. As James grabbed a lock of hair he brushed the skin on her collar bone with his knuckles. Astra tried not to tremble at the contact.
“It’s the color of sand, your hair. And your eyes a stormy ocean. I like that,” he said matter-of-factly. He draped the chunk over the curve of her breast, drawing the length between his fingers as he brushed her swollen nipple through her clothes with the back of his hand. If his skin were touching hers, she was certain she would combust.
“I like the way your pale hair looks against your skin.” He brushed her hair away while tracing the outline of her bodice with a single finger, lingering over the exposed flesh pushed up by her corset.
Astra had never been voluptuous, but James made her feel lush and desirable. When she opened her eyes, his gaze was on her face. His eyelids grew heavy and he let his stare tumble unapologetically to her breasts. He slipped his finger inside the neckline. Astra took a deep, involuntary breath. At his urging, her nipples slipped from her bodice. James lowered his head, licking each nipple lightly, before taking one into his mouth.
Astra gripped his shoulders to keep her balance. Lost in the sensation, she did not even realize James had begun to lift her skirt until his hands skimmed the back of her knees. Reflexively, she stiffened and he lifted his head from a very persuasive ravaging of her other nipple.
“Please, don’t stop.” She sensed that he would put an end to this whole crazy matter if she showed the slightest reservation.
“You don’t have to do this, you know. I’ll agree to the terms you asked for without you having to serve yourself up as a sacrificial lamb. I have no intention of becoming engaged.”
The very notion of turning back now sank Astra’s spirits. His hands remained behind her knees. She arched her back and spread her legs in unmistakable invitation. “Then I would never again know your touch. Never know the feel of your skin against mine.”
He lowered his head and grazed kisses along her neck. His breath fanned hot and heavy against her wet skin.
“I’ve imagined you slipping into my bedroom in the dark.” She was surely drunk from too much sherry to be telling him such things, as true as they were. “I imagine you crawling into my bed, your hands brushing my skin, raising my nightgown.”
James slipped his rough, warm palms to the back of her thighs, easing her legs a little further apart. His face poised above hers. His breathing had quickened, his gaze heavy.
“I never resist in my dreams. Never think of it. You easily lift my gown over my head. You’re naked. You must have had a robe you discarded before you slipped under the sheets.”
James slid his hands up her thighs, stopping just above her garters, his hot palms resting on her bare skin.
He touched his forehead to hers. “No more, Astra.”
He seemed to be struggling with something and she prayed it wasn’t his senses.
“I want you so desperately. My imagination tortures me until I have to reach beneath my gown, touch the ache left there by wanting you. Touch me, James. Please,” she whispered into his ear.
He rubbed his thumbs over the rosettes sewn onto her garter. He lifted his head to look into her face again. Astra was not sure if she leaned up and kissed him or he lowered his head to her. Their lips met with mutual hunger, their tongues entwining in their desperation to get closer. Astra shifted on the desk, urging James to move his touch up her thighs. His hands slid slightly over her skin, gripping her tightly but making no move to touch her aching center.
God, if he did not slip his fingers inside her, she feared she might do it herself. She gathered her skirts with one hand and deepened the kiss, feral in her hunger. He matched her intensity, yet he only tightened his grip on her thighs, not moving them higher.
He broke the deep kiss in favor of soft, closed mouth kisses on her lips that drifted to her neck. He eased his hands from beneath her skirt, draping it to her ankles in the process.
Astra heart constricted. What had she done wrong? No. She absolutely would not believe Lark’s father had been right, but his words haunted her anyway. Like Lark’s father, James found her cold and undesirable.
“James, my experience with men is limited, but if you teach me, I’m sure I can please you.” She hated the pleading tone in her voice.
“That is not in dispute.” He gripped her waist and easily lifted her off the desk, gently placing her on her feet. His face was flushed and his breath came fast. He seemed as unsteady as she by their sudden separation. Her body still trembled from her unfulfilled lust.
“Then what did I do wrong?” She mumbled into his shirt front. How could she fail at this? Perhaps she should have asked her mother how to seduce a man after all.
His heartbeat thudded in her ears, and his breathing remained ragged. “You did nothing wrong, Astra. Nothing. And the extent of my desire rather than lack is more of the problem. I think we both need to consider this overnight. What you propose could complicate both our lives greatly.”
She pulled away to stare into his face. “On the contrary, it will simplify things greatly. How long do you think it would take us to give in to our mutual attraction? At least we will have an arrangement, know what both expects of the other.”
“Astra, it sounds too good to be true and those things usually are. I would never forgive myself if I hurt you.” He gave her shoulders a quick squeeze and set her farther away from him, his gaze averted. She took the moment to right her bodice realizing her breasts were exposed, swollen and wet from his attention.
Astra laughed, a little too giddy perhaps. “I have already been hurt, James. What you will give me is the pleasure that I missed.”
“You’re very persuasive.” He turned away and retreated behind his desk. The one he claimed to imagine her on, but instead he had his ledgers. They seemed to be piled high, some looking dusty and old. He quickly shut the one open in front of him at her perusal. “Let’s sleep on this. Separately,” he added with a grin. “Things might look very differently to you tomorrow.”
Astra composed herself to the best of her abilities. Her seduction was not even interesting enough to compete with bookkeeping. She grabbed the combs off his desk, but knew rearranging her hair would be pointless. Hopefully she could sneak to her room undetected. Eastlan’s servants were loyal, but they were human and gossip was the local s
port in a small village. And the last thing she wanted was for the world to know she’d been rejected again. She stiffly marched toward the door.
“Goodnight, my lord. There will be no need to speak of this again.”
“The hell we won’t.” James strode up behind her. He gripped the door handle before she could reach for it. “Just because I’m being cautious, doesn’t mean we have terminated any of our agreements.” He crowded her against the closed door. The heat from his body penetrated the fabric of her dress. He braced his hand on the door just above her head, angling his hips and pushing against her until she could feel the hard ridge of his erection through her full skirts. His arm slipped around her waist and drew her against him, tight and hard. Just as abruptly he moved her to the side and released her.
He opened the door, sweeping her into the hall. His hand still at her waist, he glanced down the long corridors, looking for something. Astra dare not think it was other entertainment for the evening. She felt wretched enough as it was.
“Sweet dreams, Lady Keane.” He released her and stepped back into the study. “Until tomorrow.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
James leaned against the cool outer stone wall of a building. When his tender flank met hard rock, he winced. The bloody tailor must have poked him with his lethal needle half a dozen times in their fitting this morning. But the man had lost a son in America during the war. To him, James knew, he represented the enemy.
The men inside The Blue Anchor hadn’t seemed any more receptive to the new lord than the tailor. James had insisted that he accompany Wesley to hire the sheep shearers they would need for the May shearing. Apparently, it was a specialized skill and Wesley hired the group to service all of Eastlan’s tenant farmers. This year they had accepted another offer to shear for an estate in Somerset. Wesley had persuaded James to step outside the pub so he could talk to the men with whom he claimed to have developed a relationship over the years. Catching their guarded glances, James had agreed.
