by Lust, April
Caroline clung to me even tighter and buried her damp face in my armpit. I stroked her hair and tried to keep my mind off what would happen later. I was exhausted, suddenly. All of the trauma of the past week was catching up with me. And I knew that if I was feeling tired, Caroline must be a wreck.
The sirens got closer and closer. I could tell they were in the parking lot.
“Caroline, these cops are going to want to talk to you,” I told her urgently. “Tell them the truth. The whole truth, right from the beginning.”
She shook her head and bit her lip. “I can’t!” she said in a panicked rush. “I can’t tell them everything. They’ll blame me, Carson. I know they will. They’ll tell me it’s at least partially my fault.” She lowered her eyes. “Lucas made me an accessory!”
“They’ll believe you,” I said in a soothing tone, hoping that my words could mean something to her. The truth was, I wasn’t entirely sure if they would. I knew that the recorded testimony would only go so far. They’d have to get statements from each of us. My head spun at the amount of paperwork we’d have to go through just to be clear. And maybe I wasn’t even clear. There was still the definite possibility that I’d have to go to jail.
Finally, I heard car doors slamming outside. “They’re here,” Caroline said in a panicked voice. It was a few octaves above her normal register. “I’m not ready,” she said in a rush. “Can you stay with me?”
“For as long as I can,” I promised her. My hands were swollen and aching and my whole body was starting to hurt. Lucas had been too drunk to put up much of a fight, but I still felt exhausted. I could have slept for days.
Someone was pounding on the door. “I’ll get it,” Caroline said.
I shook my head. “No, let me,” I told her. “It’ll be better this way. Trust me.”
She nodded. Her green eyes were wide with fear, but she let me pass her and walk out to the living room.
“Open up!” I heard a cop grunt from the other side of the door. “We know you’re in there!”
I opened the door and wedged my boot firmly in place, keeping it open only a few inches. “You can come in,” I told them. “Lucas’s incapacitated right now. Caroline’s right here.”
“We need to take both of them downtown,” the cop replied. “Move, Dover. Or you’ll get it.” He cocked his gun and aimed it at me. A spike of fear went through my heart, but I knew that I couldn’t move.
“We’ll talk here,” I said urgently. “She’s terrified. She’s been through a lot, and she’s feeling traumatized right now.”
The cop shook his head. “That ain’t how this works,” he growled. “Now open the fucking door!”
“Promise me you won’t jump to conclusions,” I begged. “Please. The tape recording says everything. You listened to it, didn’t you?”
The cop nodded. “We heard everything we need to hear,” he said gruffly. For some reason, that didn’t make me feel better. “Now let me in,” he repeated. “I don’t want to use force against you, Carson.”
Reluctantly, I stepped back from the door. The cop burst through with two of his cronies. They were all armed and pointing their guns around. When they saw Lucas’s bloody form on the floor, they turned to me.
“What the fuck is this?” one of them asked. He got in my face. “What the fuck? Did you do this?”
I nodded. “In self defense,” I said quickly. “And to protect Caroline.”
The cop nodded. “I’ll need a statement from you,” he said. “You’ll have to come downtown with us.”
My heart sank. “Fine,” I said. “I’ll tell Caroline. Should I have her get her coat?”
The cop nodded. “My guys are already talking to her,” he said. From the bedroom, I heard a shriek. The cops were trying to push the door open and Caroline was cowering inside.
“Caroline, let them in!” I yelled loudly. “They only wanna talk to you!”
“No!” she shrieked. “No! I can’t! I’m scared!”
“Ma’am, we’re not going to hurt you,” one of the cops said. “But you need to come out and talk to us or else we’ll have to come in and get you.”
“Don’t make them do that,” I called. “Caroline, come out and talk to them. It won’t take long. I promise!”
After what felt like an eternity of waiting, Caroline emerged from the bedroom. She poked her head out, looking scared and upset like a little girl. I watched as she sniffled wiped her damp eyes with a hand.
“Okay,” she said finally. “We can talk.”
“Good,” one of the cops praised. “Let’s go out to the living room and get ready to go downtown.” He looked me over from head to toe. “As for you,” he began, scratching at his chin with his fingers. “You know this might lead to a lot of trouble, Dover. You remember the little talk we had when you were last in the station?”
I gulped. Caroline’s face fell as she realized what the cop meant. It was true; they’d warned me about additional assault. And now that worry was coming to life.
“I know,” I said gruffly. “I know. I’ll talk to you guys. I’ll come downtown.”
The cop nodded. “We hate to punish for good behavior,” he said. “But we don’t exactly write the laws.”
I rolled my eyes. The only thing I hated more than cops were sanctimonious, awful cops.
I watched as Caroline cautiously let herself out of the bedroom. She was still clad in her top and jeans from earlier, but she looked exhausted. In the living room, one of the cops had hauled Lucas to his feet and they were dragging him outside. His face was covered with blood and he was muttering something about how he didn’t do anything. I rolled my eyes. It was fucking pathetic.
“Are you taking me with him?” Caroline asked in a quivering voice. “I don’t want to ride with him,” she added. She pointed a finger towards Lucas and shuddered backwards when he smiled at her through a mess of gore. “Please,” she added quietly. “I can’t stand the thought of being next to him for another second.”
The cops nodded. “Fine,” one of them said. “I’m Officer White, and this is Officer Jameson. Ride downtown with Officer Jameson.”
Caroline nodded hastily. “I will,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you.”
I was on autopilot as the cops led the three of us outside. The late afternoon sun was starting to shimmer and fade and I squinted my eyes against the glare in the parking lot. They pushed Caroline into the back of one cop car and Lucas in the other.
“Do you have a choice?”
Instantly, I went over to Jameson’s car and stood by the door. Caroline’s face brightened when she saw me. The drive downtown seemed to take no time at all. I was wondering all of the things they would ask. I wondered what they already knew, and what they’d look for confirmation on. The whole thing was such a mess that my head was spinning. The more I thought about it, the more exhausted I felt.
Caroline’s hand found mine in the backseat of the police cruiser and she squeezed my fingers.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know this means a lot of trouble for you.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t necessarily,” I told her. “Things could be fine.”
Caroline bit her lip. “I feel bad,” she told me. “I never wanted this to happen to you. You have to understand that, Carson. I never wanted you to rescue me.”
When she said it, I couldn’t respond for some reason. Something inside of me was broken, unresponsive. I sighed heavily. I knew that we’d have to talk about it later, but I wanted to put it off for as long as I could.
“I know,” I told her finally. “I know. We’ll get through it. It’ll be okay.”
Caroline didn’t look reassured. She turned towards the window and pressed her face against the glass. When I felt the cruiser begin to shake, I looked over and saw that she was crying. Hoarse little strained sounds were coming out of her mouth and she covered them up with both hands, but I still hear. Jameson drove on, oblivious to our emotional scene in the
backseat.
“It’ll be okay,” I repeated. But I was no longer sure of who I was reassuring—Caroline or myself.
Chapter Thirty
Caroline
The police station was even more imposing than I imagined it would be. I blinked hastily as Officer Jameson shuffled us inside. We weren’t handcuffed, but Lucas was. Seeing his hands pinned behind his back, his face covered in blood, I wanted to laugh. He suddenly looked so pathetic. I couldn’t believe that I’d been afraid of him. Secretly, I felt like a fool. Lucas was dangerous, but I didn’t think he was a killer. I didn’t think that he would have shot me.
I hated myself for not fighting harder. I hated myself for getting Carson involved in this, and I hated myself for loving him more than ever. I knew that this signaled the end of things between us. If I wasn’t going to jail, Carson probably was. And then he’d hate me forever. I wondered if I’d ever be able to forgive myself for sending Carson back to prison. Right now, it didn’t look likely.
I thought about the conversation Elizabeth and I would have. It would be sometime after I’d gotten back on my feet, barely. And she’d still be judgmental, but I’d no longer care. It was funny how little things changed in a matter of weeks. Or days, even. I couldn’t remember when I’d first felt that I was falling in love with Carson. But it was more powerful than anything I’d ever experienced, and I knew what had happened would haunt me for the rest of my life.
“Caroline? Caroline?” Officer Jameson leaned in my face. “We’re going to go talk now, okay?”
I shot a fearful look at Carson. He nodded, as if to tell me that everything was going to be okay. “Okay,” I said softly. “I’ll follow you.”
Jameson led me down a narrow corridor and into a windowless, tiny room. There was a desk with two chairs and a plant on the desk. It was grim, but it didn’t look as dire as I’d imagined. Maybe everything really would be okay. Maybe. But probably not , I thought to myself. They’re probably just trying to lull you into a false sense of security .
“We understand you were acquainted with Lucas Lauder through your old job at The Silk Aria. That’s managed by Eddie Blanco, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, that’s right.” I said. “I only met Lucas a few months ago. But he was always creepy.”
The cop shook his head. “Try to avoid saying things like that,” he said. “I get what you mean, but we need an objective portrayal of events. What happened to link you with Lucas?”
I blinked. “Um,” I said, blushing, “don’t you know this?”
The cop stared at me. “We just need to hear it from you,” he said. “I know this isn’t easy for you. But please try to work with me, okay? This is the nicer alternative. We could put you up in a cell for a few hours and then try talking. But I have a feeling you wouldn’t like that very much.”
I shivered. “Okay,” I stammered. “Eddie laid me off because he couldn’t afford to keep me working. And when I got home that night, there was an eviction notice on my door. I only had a few days to come up with over a thousand dollars.” I blinked. The cop was scrawling everything I said down on a pad of paper, and there was a tape recorder with a little blinking red light.
“And then what happened?”
“Well, I went to beg for my job back the next morning,” I said. “I stayed up all night trying to think of ways to get the money. But there wasn’t anything plausible. I mean, you saw my apartment, you know I don’t have anything to sell.” It was meant to be a joke, but Jameson didn’t laugh.
“And then?” Jameson’s manner was uniformly intense.
My stomach started to cramp up and I felt the tears coming back. Hastily, I blinked my eyes and tried to clear them away.
“And obviously Eddie said he couldn’t consider rehiring me,” I said flatly. A tear fell down my cheek, and I wiped it away. “Just as I was leaving, Lucas told me that he could help me. He told me to meet him early the next week in the park, and he’d tell me what he wanted me to do.”
“And you believed this was a legitimate opportunity for work?” Jameson glanced at me. “You didn’t think that he would do anything dangerous, or illegal?”
“Um,” I stammered. “I’m not sure. I was so desperate that I’m not sure what I thought. I barely knew Lucas at that point.”
Jameson took a long time writing down what I’d said. A stab of fear pierced my heart and I shivered. “Okay, what next?”
“So I went to meet him. And I was still looking for lots of other opportunities on the side. But nothing came up, so I didn’t have a choice. I went to meet him in the park.” I looked expectantly at Jameson and he motioned for me to keep talking. “And he told me he wanted some help with something. When I told him I wouldn’t do anything illegal, he promised me that it wasn’t illegal. He said he just needed help scouting a store.”
My heart was sinking fast as I retold the story. More than ever, it looked like I could be charged with something. I hated myself for being in such a desperate situation, but Jameson looked at me with sympathy.
“Continue, Ms. Wagner,” Jameson said.
“And when I refused to help, he showed me these pictures,” I said, blushing furiously. “They were naked pictures I had taken for money when I was much younger. I didn’t want anyone to find out about them, and Lucas said he would sell them to revenge porn sites if I didn’t cooperate with him.”
Jameson shook his head. I couldn’t tell whether he was judging me or Lucas, but he nodded for me to go on.
“So I did it,” I said hastily. “Lucas never paid me. Carson went to talk to him and came back with cash. That was how I paid my rent.”
Jameson narrowed his eyes. “So you had your friend Mr. Dover take care of Lucas?”
“No, no,” I said, shaking my head. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t know what he was going to do, and he promised that Lucas wouldn’t be hurt.”
Jameson glanced up. “I see,” he said.
I was dying to ask him more questions, but I kept my mouth shut.
“And then I thought Lucas was gone. But he showed up at my apartment and hit me and forced me into his car with a gun to my head. He told me if I didn’t help him rob the store, he’d shoot me and everyone else. He threatened me, Officer,” I said, trying to make my eyes big. “I was afraid for my life. And for Carson’s. He told me that if I didn’t help him, he’d hurt Carson.”
“And he arranged for Mr. Dover to be kidnapped, is that correct?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’m not sure what happened; we haven’t gotten to talk about it.”
“My understanding is that Mr. Dover was attacked from behind in the parking lot of a bar. He woke up incapacitated and tied up. I’m not sure how he escaped, but he received the recording from you shortly thereafter.”
“Okay,” I said, blinking. “Yeah, I don’t exactly know what happened. Aren’t you going to talk to Carson about it?”
Donnelly nodded. “We’re speaking with him right now,” he said. “It was important that we talked to each of you separately, to make sure we’re getting the truth.”
“What happens now?” I asked in a scared voice. “Will I have to go to prison?”
“Probably not,” Jameson said. “It’s likely that we’ll need you to come back in for more interviews, though, so please don’t think about leaving town.”
My heart clanged against the walls of my chest, and I nodded. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling could be called relief or not, but it was something. I sagged against the back of the chair. I was feeling exhausted. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since the whole thing happened, but I was feeling like I’d been awake for over a week.
“Can I go?”
“Sure,” Jameson said. “And, Caroline, remember what I told you. No traveling right now, no going out of town. If we try to get in touch with you, please be responsive.”
“Do you think you’ll need to?” My voice came out as a squeak.
“I’m not sure,” Donnelly said. “But thi
s is a necessary precaution.”
My legs felt like lead as he directed me to the lobby. “Thanks,” I said. I blushed when I realized that I’d spoken automatically.
Carson was sitting on a wooden bench. His lips curved up when he saw me and he looked just as tired as I felt.
“Hi,” I said shyly. “We should go by the hospital.”
Carson shook his head. “I feel fine,” he insisted. “Come on. I’ll drop you at home.”
“We’re going to the hospital,” I said, stamping my foot down. “You could be hurt, Carson.”
“Fine,” he grumbled. “Come on. I’ll take you on my bike.”
