by Lust, April
“It’s just the sleet. Chill out, princess. This place may not look like much, but it’s sturdy.”
Natalia says with attitude, “Well, I thought maybe it was bullets. After all, I’m surrounded by a bunch of motorcycle thugs.”
I grin. This is exactly the kind of woman I’ve always wanted. She’s a ride or die, I can already tell.
“I gotta get some sleep.” Natalia raises one eyebrow at me. “You know I practice in the mornings, don’t you?”
“I’ve heard you dancing a few times,” I say with a smirk.
She’s almost to the door when I realize she’s planning on leaving. Something catches in my chest – not my heart, but it’s definitely something. With a sigh, I lean against the wall. “You should stay here. You’ll get cold again if you go back to your room.”
Natalia doesn’t answer. Instead, she turns on her heel and walks back into the room. As we climb into bed together, I can feel her little hummingbird heart pounding through her thin chest. Her heartbeat is erratic and surprisingly loud, but I find the sound oddly soothing.
We fall asleep half-naked under a blanket of rain and ice.
Chapter 12 Natalia
I wake the next morning to find Beast’s arms still around me. He shifts, kissing the back of my head before proceeding to ask me how I slept.
“I’ve never slept so well in my life before.” With a groan, I close my eyes. Damnit. I’ve never been a morning person – mornings just make me honest. Even though I did sleep incredibly well, I don’t want Beast knowing that. He’d fucked me so hard that my pelvis is sore, but my whole body feels warm and sated with our lovemaking.
And that’s the truth. Normally I have trouble sleeping alone. I start to become sad, as I think of how I would love to fall asleep in the arms of a man. Each time I head home late from ballet, it’s alone. No one wants to date a ballerina who works more often than she sleeps. Sure, I’ve had a few one-night stands since being a ballerina. But the men always disappear from my bed the next day, and when I call them they never answer.
It’s frustrating to be this lonely. Unfortunately, I still feel that way around Beast. Not entirely—not all of me. But there are still some parts that are chaotic and sad. I wish I understood him, and why he was doing this to me.
I want to talk to him about this, about how comforted I feel by his presence. But I’m still working things out in my head. He has all these secrets he won’t tell me about. One especially comes to mind: the man in the newspaper clippings.
“Do you want some breakfast?” Beast asks.
“Sure. Has it stopped snowing? Do you have any groceries in the fridge? I need coffee.”
“Whoa slow down, one request at a time,” he says, chuckling into the nape of my neck. He sounds more amused than I’ve ever heard him.
A warm tingling sensation shoots down my spine and I fight the urge to roll closer and kiss him deeply. “Beast?”
“Yes?” His voice sounds light and cheery, quite the opposite of when I first met him. So this is what a bad boy is like when he’s been ensnared by emotions.
“I need to ask you something. Don’t get mad, but I want to talk to you about yesterday. About my snooping? I saw a man in these photographs—newspaper clippings—and he looks familiar.”
I feel Beast’s body stiffen next to mine. I’ve clearly crossed some sort of boundary though I’m not sure what.
“Who is he?” I ask again. Gently pushing Beast away, I roll onto my side and face him. He looks guilty, concerned. I can tell he doesn’t want to answer, but I don’t intend on letting him leave without giving me a real answer.
“Natalia, I already told you that’s none of your concern. You don’t need to know anything about this man. He’s the one who is after you. Why on earth would you want to have anything to do with him?”
“Whoa.” I can’t help but scoot away from Beast’s warm muscular bulk, if only slightly. The surface of the bed feels chill, and I instantly regret inching away from Beast’s body. “I didn’t say I wanted to have anything to do with him. Do I know him somehow?”
Beast sighs and sits up in bed. I know he’s not going to answer me, but at least I gave it a shot.
When he speaks, his voice has returned to its usual gruff tone. “Natalia, I already told you not to go snooping. We’re going to drop this subject. It is none of your concern, and that is final. Do you understand me?”
“Yeah,” I mutter under my breath. “I get it, Beast.”
He throws off the covers, and the pace of my breathing quickens when I see his naked body. I look him slowly up and down and realize that I instinctually lick my lips. He sees me doing this and his look changes from exasperation to hunger. I notice he’s getting hard, and I give him my most seductive smile.
The air between us is suddenly tense, thick with lust. He crawls back in bed, and when he pulls me to him, he doesn’t even kiss me. Instead, he reaches under the covers and spreads my legs, moving his fingers over my sore labia. I moan softly. I’m still exhausted and spent from the night before, but waking up next to Beast is more arousing than I expected.
Beast grabs the mattress and pushes himself up onto his hands and knees. With a rough growl, he rips the blankets away from my body and slaps my inner thigh. I whimper as pain mingled with pleasure floods my body. My nipples are so stiff they feel like little pebbles, and I can barely breath as Beast crawls between my spread thighs and positions his hard cock at the entrance of my pussy.
The look in Beast’s eyes is the most intense I’ve ever seen. They seem to see right through me, and I moan softly as I feel the head of his cock press against my wetness. Beast’s cock is huge – I’ve never been with anyone as big before – and I arch my back as he slides inside me.
I don’t know how to handle this pleasure. He’s moving so fast, and I’m so turned on. We shake the bed back and forth, but Beast doesn’t seem to mind. He leans towards me but doesn’t kiss me. He takes my hands and pins them above my head just like he did the night before. I’m still captivated by him, captured by him.
His face is so close to mine, but he just stares into my eyes. I feel vulnerable, as if he can see every thought I’ve ever had. I lean my head up to kiss him, but he doesn’t let me. He moves his head just out of reach and chuckles.
“Not yet,” he whispers in my ear before licking my lobe and around my neck. His tongue is warm and fierce.
When at last Beast kisses me, I hear the ocean crashing in my ears. It feels like every icicle around my heart has started to shatter, or at least melt a little more.
We climax at the same time, holding onto each other, gasping for breath. But I can’t fully experience my orgasm because I’m too busy thinking about the newspaper clippings. Why doesn’t Beast want me to know who that man is? If he’s trying to kill me, I should at least know what his name is.
I decide it’s time to take matters into my own hands. If Beast isn’t going to give me answers about the man, I’m going to have to figure it out for myself. “So what about breakfast? Is there any food here? Do you even have anything in the fridge, other than beer?” I ask hoping to distract him.
“Last time I checked, beer is breakfast, princess.” Beast grins at me, catching me off guard. For some reason, it’s easier to deal with him being rude than when he’s being nice. My body’s still shaking from the force of my surprise orgasm as Beast pulls out of me and climbs to his feet.
“Yeah, maybe you for and your biker pigs,” I say loudly, well-aware that I sound like a complete prima donna. “And I can’t have beer for breakfast. That wouldn’t exactly help me with dancing, would it?”
Beast grins again, and my heart melts. “I don’t know,” he muses thoughtfully. “Drunk ballet? I’d pay to see that.”
“Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t be real ballet.” I’m unable to keep the snark out of my voice as I climb to my feet and pull on my borrowed sweatpants. Beast pulls me close, kissing me softly. It catches me off guard and I feel myself swoon
ing, just a little, in his strong arms.
“I’ll see you in a little bit,” he says. “I’ve got to hop in the shower.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
I wait a few heartbeats for him to get into the shower before sliding out of bed towards his dresser. I haven’t even eased the drawer out when I hear the shower shut off. He’s already done? That’s unbelievable. Leaping back into the bed, I wrap the covers around me so he doesn’t suspect anything. I remain under the thick, white sheets as he reaches into his various drawers, pulling out socks, underwear, and whatever outfit he’s decided to put on for today. It’s stopped snowing, but the air remains chilled and the sidewalks are covered in snow.
I never thought I’d be saying this, but I want Beast to leave. I’m running out of patience and I want to get a better look at those newspaper clippings. I just know there’s something I’m missing, something that will give me a clue as to why that man looks so familiar. Part of me fears he’s a long lost relative of mine, though I know that’s impossible. My parents dumped me somewhere in Moscow. I don’t think anyone knows who my parents are, let alone who my grandparents or aunts or uncles are. I always assumed I didn’t have any family left.
I know I sound bitter. Maybe I am. My life hasn’t really been easy, nor have I ever expected it to. But sometimes I still feel like I got dealt the short end of the stick when it came to adoptive parents. Sure, I’m the best Goddamned ballet dancer in New York. But at what cost? The lack of love I received growing up? Constant injuries? The kind of loneliness that welled inside of me like a black balloon? I know I’ve had my problems with the other dancers, but at least they understand what a life of constant competition and strain feels like.
“You’re lazy.” Beast’s comment catches me off guard. When I whirl around, he’s standing there with a plush towel wrapped around his waist. The sight of him almost naked is enough to send all the blood to my loins – the ‘V’ of his hips has to be one of the most enticing sights I’ve ever seen.
“Good shower?” I have to bite my tongue before I say anything else. Beast’s eyes are locked on me, and I throw the sheets away and stand up, enjoying the way his gaze wanders down my body.
“Natalia?”
“Yes?” For a second there, I almost said “my love.” I shudder, wondering how I let myself get this entangled in a complete stranger. He’s the one who kidnapped me, and he also got angry with me for looking through his things. There’s definitely a secret worth finding, and I’m not going to rest until I figure it out. I only wish Beast would tell me himself. We’ve come so far. Why can’t he just be honest with me?
“You’re upset.” Beast stares at me. “What’s going on?”
It’s not that I’m upset, exactly, but I don’t feel like telling Beast what’s on my mind. His body, those papers, his sexy body, those damned papers…The two images swirl around in my brain like confused ballerinas.
“I’m not upset.” I say as I grab my clothes, letting my brown curls fall over one shoulder. “It’s just…I don’t really know how I should feel. And I hate not knowing everything! It’s so frustrating to me!”
He walks towards me with a serious look on his face and places a hand on my shoulder. When Beast speaks, his voice is so deep and low that it reverberates throughout my body. “There’s nothing in that file worth knowing. Trust me. And like I said before, it’s disrespectful for you to go through my things. You’re my guest here, and you need to respect my boundaries.”
I shove his arm off and elbow him in the side. “I’m not your guest here! You kidnapped me. Why do you keep thinking otherwise?”
Beast shakes his head slowly back and forth. “The mere fact that you still think is unbelievable to me. I already told you I’m saving you from someone dangerous, someone who if he got his hands on you, might kill you.”
I don’t say anything but glance towards the window. I’m always checking for snow, at least whenever Beast is heading out. I hate him, but I like him. I guess it’s safe to say I’m torn between having feelings for him as the genuine person he is and hating him for capturing me. It’s the most complicated of all relationships: a love-hate relationship. It’s not something I’m not fond of.
“I’m going to head out now,” Beast says after throwing on a clean shirt. “You should probably head back to your room.”
I follow him out of the room and realize to my dismay that he locks the door behind him. Guess I’m going to have to figure out a way to pick locks or else I’m never going to figure out who the man in the newspaper clippings is. I can’t tell what stings more – the fact that I won’t be able to do any sleuthing while Beast is away or his dismissal of me. One moment, we were joking around about breakfast and enjoying our post-coital glow. The next, I’m alone in the hallway, like it never even happened.
Chapter 13 Beast
I can tell Natalia is interested in figuring out who Abram is, though I’m not going to let that happen. Before I head out of the warehouse, I make sure to lock my bedroom door. Natalia is crestfallen, but I pretend not to notice. It’s not her place to go snooping in my things.
I watch as she heads back towards her room, and I notice my tank top fits loosely around her shoulders, revealing her muscles. It reminds me of the first time I saw her dancing.
It was months ago, much longer than the Swan Lake production had been in the works. This was back before I had planned on kidnapping her.
I’d been drinking downtown, minding my own business, when I saw a gaggle of dancers running across the street. The bar I was sitting at overlooked downtown Broadway. I was sitting at the window on a plastic red stool, staring at the passing cars. Suddenly, a group of women in bright blue tutus crossed the street. Natalia stayed behind, wrapping her fingers around each other, a habit I have come to realize is due to her nervousness.
She crossed the street after waiting for the light to turn, running a bit slower behind the other dancers. I finished my beer, left a wrinkled fifty on the table, and decided to follow her.
She was dancing at a different studio at the time, one that was smaller and painted all black. When I arrived outside, I saw an older looking bouncer guarding the door. He wore a black suit and had a shaved head. All it took was one small bill and he was holding the door open for me, whispering something in my ear in Russian.
I walked down a long black hallway filled with miniature blue lights. It reminded me of my childhood, of one of the many times I felt like I was underwater. Usually it happened when my parents would yell at me, but eventually, I grew up and became a rebel. I grew a thicker skin, started smoking, eventually found my gang. At the end of the hallway, I could see the lights from the stage guiding my way.
Natalia was this twisted vixen in the back of my mind, someone completely unattainable yet fascinating. The second I found out she was related to Abram I realized I had to do something about it. I had to see her again. Luckily for me, no one else knows this secret. They assume she’s just some pawn in my game. But they’re wrong—and so was I. Natalia isn’t just my captive. She’s also a hunter, a dangerous one that’s after my heart.
I realized it the first night I saw her, and I realize it now. That night, I had watched her dance across a stage covered in paper jellyfish. She was the only dancer on the stage at the time, auditioning for a role in The Little Mermaid . That evening, Natalia wore a bright blue tutu like the other girls, but compared to them, she danced like the spirit of the ocean herself. I hid in the back row, the same way I did the evening of the kidnapping, and watched with bated breath. The other dancers lined the front row, each waiting for their turn in the spotlight. One by one I watched them perform the same moves, but no one was as wonderful as Natalia Pestova. Boy, was she a force to be reckoned with.
I have a deep-rooted fear that I’ll never be able to watch her perform again. She’s been cooped up in the warehouse for weeks and hasn’t spoken a single word about performing. I want to ask her to dance for me, but I know she wouldn’t d
o it. Not after all I’ve done to her.
“Hey there,” says a deep voice from the shadows. Of course Doc’s waiting for me. He leans over and punches me gently on the shoulder. I wonder how much he heard between last night and this morning, I’m pretty sure Natalia and I were rocking the whole warehouse.
When I try to speak, Doc lifts a finger to his mouth and jerks his head to the side. Intrigued, I follow him.
Doc motions for me to walk into the shadows. He points down the hall and through a crack of light I see Natalia. She’s in the main room, having ignored my instructions to head back to her bedroom. To my surprise, I notice she’s not snooping around the room—she’s dancing.
I can see her moving in brilliant circles, pirouetting, and lifting her slender legs high up in the air. I want to rush over to her, pick her up, and twirl her muscular body around.
