by Lust, April
“I know; it’s going to hurt. But you’re going to feel even worse if I don’t sew you up and fast.”
“I need stitches?” he mumbles. The man is fading in and out of consciousness. I fear he’s lost too much blood already, but it’s not exactly like we’re in a hospital. There’s no way I’d be able to do anything other than the most rudimentary of medical care.
“Come on,” I say, lifting his arm off his side.
He grips the table and turns away from me. This is the first man I’ve ever met who seems to be in genuine pain, aside from Beast.
A first sight of his chiseled abs, I take a sharp intake of breath, praying he doesn’t notice.
“It’s that bad?” he asks with a grimace.
My eyes go wide with shock and my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Umm…no, I think you’ll be okay.” I mumble, hoping that he believes me.
His skin is light caramel, and he has a dusting of hair across his well-formed chest. I want to run my fingers over that chest and trace it with kisses and bites. There’s an abrasion on his right side, and I think a bullet has only grazed him. It looks similar to Beast’s wound. Luckily when I inspect the wound, it’s not deep. He’ll only need a few stitches, and I should be able to care for him myself. He should be fine, in a week or so.
Oh, my God , I think to myself. What is wrong with me? I won’t be seeing him in a week or so. In a week or so, I could be dead. Or I could be back with Beast, held a prisoner once more in the decrepit warehouse.
Over the course of the next hour, I proceed to clean and stitch his wound with a sewing kit that I find in the bathroom. Halfway through, I realize I’m witnessing the most intimate act of all—sewing another human being back together—and I don’t even know his name.
“So, what’s your name?” I smile down at the man. He already seems a little better than he was when we first got back to the warehouse. His eyes are twinkling. I’m so confused – what is wrong with me? Why am I falling to pieces over a man like this? Over a man I don’t even know? Is it because my brain knows Beast and I can’t ever be together? Or is it something else, something darker?
“What’s it to ya?” he shoots back instantly.
I laugh softly. He reminds me of the boys I went to grade school with. The boys who’d pull at my brown curls and tease me until I cried.
Just as I’m beginning to assume the man in front of me is going to remain anonymous regardless, he whispers a name into the air.
“Reis. My name is Reis.”
“That’s a nice name. My name is Natalia. It’s nice to meet you.”
I notice his eyes are a leathery shade of green. He’s staring at me with a look so intense that I nearly lose control of my needle and thread. I avert my eyes, trying to concentrate on the task at hand. If I so much as look down at Reis, I know I’ll faint. I’m already swooning. My heart is practically beating outside of my chest.
How is it that I feel this way for another human being so quickly after meeting them? How is that I feel this for Reis, when I thought I felt love for Beast? Until Reis kidnapped me from Beast’s warehouse, I thought I didn’t understand the concept of lust, let alone love. Both remain foreign concepts to me, though I have some grasp on them now that this devious stranger has come into my life.
I pinch myself every few minutes, trying hard to extinguish these feelings. They’re wrong, I know they’re wrong. I shouldn’t be thinking about Reis. I should be thinking about Beast, and Abram, and what’s going to happen to me. But instead I can’t tear my eyes away from Reis’s rugged face, his piercing green eyes. He’s so different from Beast – and yet so like him in many ways. What does that make me?
“Almost done?” Reis asks, breaking the silence.
“Yes,” I say quietly.
He sighs, tensing his body as I pull the thread through his skin. The room smells like warm iron, and my hands are sticky with Reis’s blood.
“Hold on, it’ll just be another minute.” As I look down at him, I see his forehead is beaded with sweat. “Just keep breathing, in and out. I’m sure you’ve been through much worse.” I’m talking out of my ass just to keep him calm. I’ve never been particularly good at this – calming people down. That’s one of the things that makes me such a good dancer. My energy is contagious, and my energy is usually frantic.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” Reis winces as I knot the thread and cut it close to his skin. “I wasn’t supposed to get shot.”
“No one plans on getting shot,” I say with a weak laugh, hoping to lighten his mood. My mouth goes dry. Just talking to him is making me nervous. He doesn’t respond, but I feel helpless. “What do you need me to do?”
Reis sighs. “Stay with me,” he says softly. “Stay with me until morning.” There’s desperation in his green eyes, and it tugs at my heart.
I stare. “What…what about Abram? What about the other members of your club?”
Reis doesn’t reply and my stomach goes cold.
“Why did you kidnap me? What do you want?”
“At another time,” he says gruffly. “Now’s not the time or the place to discuss that stuff.”
He’s so solemn, so serious, I know it must have been something bad must have happened. When I think of what Abram must have in store for me, I shiver. Maybe Beast was right – maybe my father does want me dead. That would certainly explain all of this, leaving me alone with a man who gained my trust all too easily. My brain starts going off in all sorts of directions. Before I can jump to any more conclusions, I decide to ask him something.
“Just promise me you aren’t some sort of a…”
“Some sort of what?” he growled.
“I don’t know. A murderer or something.”
Reis’s so silent afterwards that I fear the worst is being confirmed.
“I would never take the life of another human being,” he says solemnly. “I am not that kind of a person.”
And he leaves it at that. I don’t push him any further, knowing if I do I might lose him to the wilderness of his own mind.
I can’t explain why I feel so connected to this stranger. I don’t know anything about him, and I only just met him. But I don’t let it go at that. I keep asking questions until I somehow manage to convince him to give me information on Abram’s whereabouts. He’s in the Museum of Natural History, which is exactly where I know I’ll find Beast.
Chapter 20 Beast
First comes the ringing, then comes the fire. There’s a horrible explosion that spreads debris all around me and the rest of my men. There’s a deafening ringing in my ears, and the air around me is filled with grey smoke. Covering my mouth and nose, I can barely breathe. My mouth is filled with the acrid taste of smoke, and all I can smell is charred flesh and hair.
I’d thrown the last of my smoke bombs trying to get myself and my men out of the building. I’d only had one left, and though I’d been saving it for Abram, I had a feeling the much-anticipated showdown wouldn’t actually happen tonight. It was just like me to ruin everything once again.
I couldn’t stand the sick feeling that was bubbling inside of me. I’d let down my men – again. I couldn’t stand to see the looks on their faces, but I knew I was going to have to face the truth and catch Abram Pestov soon. If I didn’t, everything would be fucked up beyond repair. So I tossed the bomb in the direction of Abram’s guys and ducked. Now the air was a noxious gas, and we needed to get out fast.
“Now’s the time to go. Come on.” I turn to my men. “This way, guys.” Pointing over my shoulder, towards the emergency exit of the museum, I crouch down below the clouds of smoke billowing through the air. My gun is in my pocket, itching to be used. Too bad I won’t get the chance to use it tonight on Abram.
As I walk out of the smoke, I turn around and see Doc’s talking quietly with Storm. I tried to make out what they’re saying, but my ears are still ringing with the explosion. I wonder what had happened to the rest of my men. This mission has just abo
ut wiped us out. I’m down from fifteen to eight in the span of a night. I guess nine if I count the green boy I left to guard Natalia.
Not exactly my finest hour as the president of the Renegade Reapers. I can just see it now: “Clueless MC Leader a Laughingstock for Generations.” The thought is enough to make me sick. I’d started this mission on top of everything, but suddenly that wasn’t going to be enough anymore. Soon, even Natalia wouldn’t listen to anything I said.
“Doc’s right. If we stay here, we’re basically a bunch of lame ducks. We need to keep moving, and quickly, in the direction of safety.” Storm’s voice was raspy and shaky.
I wonder how badly he’d been hurt in the explosion. My head was aching, as were the stiches in my side. With a grim expression, I survey my men. Natalia is going to have a lot of work to do later, when we show up back at the warehouse.
It’s wrong, but the idea of her hands on another man’s body makes me sick. I can’t stand the thought of her touching another guy – even if it means saving their life.
“Boss,” Doc pants. “Boss, wait.”
I turn to him and stare. “What? What the hell, Doc?” Narrowing my eyes, I look into his face. Doc’s been around for a long time, and I trust him – but lately, it seems like he’s been trying to take over as leader. He’s been trying to go first all the time, shoving his way around like he’s the president. He contradicts me too often, and I don’t like that. It doesn’t sit well with me.
“What if they’re up ahead shooting? We already saw a few moving between them display cases over there. It isn’t safe.”
I could see beads of sweat beginning to trickle down Doc’s face, and I knew he wasn’t lying. I felt a twinge in my stomach, again from the wounds I’d sustained before this crisis. Soon enough, this would all be over. But what would I have to show for it? Certainly not Abram’s head on a pike. I’d be lucky to make it out of this alive.
It all seemed like such a far cry from the week before, when my men and I had rallied eagerly around each other and promised a new life.
Chapter 21 Natalia
I couldn’t sleep for a long time that night. Once or twice I actually woke up, thinking I was back with Beast in his warehouse. Reis’s body next to me smelled like man and betrayal. I couldn’t stay here long, not with Beast out patrolling the city for my father. I had to find them both before it was too late, before something else terrible happened.
Reis’s shy in the morning, like we’ve never met before. He looks much better already. The blood’s come back into his face and he almost looks like a different man. I know so little about him. Sure, he claims that he’s not a killer. But if he’s one of Abram’s men, I’m not sure I can trust that.
“I have a surprise for you.” Reis’s eyes twinkle as he sits up in bed and rubs his eyes. I’m disappointed that he doesn’t try to kiss me, but the disappointment doesn’t last long before I feel shame burning it away.
“Oh?” I feel myself smiling coyly. I can’t help it – there’s something about Reis’s green eyes that pull me in. “What is it?”
“It’s a surprise,” Reis says gruffly. He climbs out bed with a wince and grabs his jacket from the floor, putting it on. When he glances around the room, he bursts out laughing.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…it’s just, this isn’t even my room.” Reis smirks at me. “I was in such bad shape last night that when we got back, we crawled into another bed.”
I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel unsettled by what he’s told me. Furthermore, why are we alone in the compound? This place is as big as Beast’s, but it’s empty.
“Where are your other men?”
“What other men?” Reis smiles at me. He steps closer, with his arms held out, and I instinctively back away. The hair on the back of my neck stands up, and I stare at him.
“Can I use the bathroom?” My voice is a weak cry that hangs fast in the cold air. My heart is pounding like a frantic drum, but Reis’s still looking at me with those big green eyes. I wonder if he’s actually affiliated with Abram. Is it possible he lied to me last night, about the Natural History Museum? What if he’s another enemy of Beast’s, a man who just wanted to kidnap me to get back at his rival?
“Well, of course,” Reis says with an unnerving look. I can tell he knows I don’t trust him. “Is everything okay?”
My mouth tastes like ashes as I nod mechanically. Something is definitely wrong. The warehouse is filled with bright light. Outside, I can hear birds chirping and the faint sound of an engine as a car drives past. Where am I? Where the hell had this charming stranger taken me – and what had happened the night before to make me so enchanted with him?
My stomach twists as I think of Beast. Unless something happened to him and the boys, he’s home by now, wondering where I am. I feel sick.
“Where’s the bathroom?” I smile sweetly at Reis, trying to convince both him and myself that everything’s okay.
“Down the hall.”
Away from Reis’s prying green eyes, I look deeply into the mirror. My pupils are huge. Between that and the shaky feeling in my stomach, I wonder if I was drugged. I wonder if the whole thing was some kind of sick ruse – if Reis was deliberately shot on purpose, if that was supposed to make him gain my trust. I can still smell his scent on my skin, and with a loud cry, I plunge my hands in the sink and vigorously begin scrubbing at my shoulders and arms. I’m freezing cold and soaking wet when I’m done, but at least I don’t smell like him anymore.
The sight of Beast’s undershirt in the mirror is enough to make me sick all over again. I can’t believe I betrayed him so easily. What the hell is wrong with me? I know we weren’t exactly dating, but I can’t help but hate myself. Beast was gone for what, thirty minutes? And then some handsome stranger broke in and captured me and I was smitten with him?
There’s a window in the bathroom. I can hear Reis’s footsteps pacing in the hall, and I know I only have a few minutes to decide what to do. Do I go back in the warehouse with him? Do I go back to Beast? Do I go looking for my father at the museum? Or do I escape and run away on my own, start a new life somewhere else?
Maybe Boston is looking for a new prima ballerina. I hate winter, but I know I can’t stay in New York anymore. There’s nothing for me here…only my parents, who don’t even care that I went missing in the first place.
And Beast , a small voice says in the back of my mind. Don’t forget about Beast .
My cheeks burn red with shame as I think about what Beast would think if I confess everything about Reis. I can just imagine him now, icy blue eyes narrowed to angry slits, sneering at me with his mouth in a twist of hatred. Hell, I can practically hear his voice in my head: “You little slut. You just needed attention, didn’t you? Couldn’t even wait twenty-four hours before climbing in bed with another man?”
I wrap my arms tightly around myself and shiver. My coat is back in the bedroom, but I know this is going to be my only chance for escape. I have to make it count.
“Natalia? Are you in there?” Reis raps loudly on the door. His fists are so large that the whole door shakes with his effort. I’m not that cold with my adrenaline starting to pump through my veins and keeping me warm, but I shiver all the same. I have a feeling his sweet demeanor from the night before was all a front, and that given the chance, he’d turn on me in a heartbeat.
“This is silly,” I call loudly, facing the door. “But I can’t pee unless I know you’re not listening. Can you give me some privacy?”
Reis growls. The sound of his voice makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “Turn on the water!”
“That doesn’t work,” I lie, crossing my fingers behind my back. “You’d still be listening.”
When Reis doesn’t reply, I lick my lips and try to smile as innocently as I can. I know he can’t see me, but I remember reading somewhere that your voice carries your facial expression. Before I came to dance at Nine Muses, I had a short telephone interview
with the head instructor there. My mother sat by the whole time, slapping me on the back each time my expression faltered.
“Okay. I’ll go down the hall. You gonna be done soon?”
“It’s not polite to ask a lady to hurry up in the bathroom,” I say with a giggle trying to sound lighthearted.
Reis grumbles something unintelligible under his breath. I wait silently, listening for any sign of movement. Finally, he growls again and begins to lumber down the hall.
As quickly as I can, I leap onto the toilet seat and grab ahold of the glass at the window. It’s smudged and dirty – this room obviously hasn’t been used in a long time. The handle for the window is rusted shut, and I scrape quickly at the rust with my fingernails. It’s hard work, and I can feel sweat beginning to cover my whole body. My heart is slamming against my ribs in a frantic staccato rhythm, and my fingers keep slipping on the hasp.
