by Lust, April
“Now,” Abram says, turning to face me. “Now we have our own little show to watch, Devochka.”
Fear chills my heart. “I don’t want to marry Aleksei,” I say as loudly as I can. I’m not trying to sound defiant, just like I’m in charge of my own agenda and fate.
“That is too bad,” Abram says. “The priest has arrived just moments ago. Soon, you will be Aleksei’s wife.”
Aleksei grins, and I fight the urge to punch him again. His face is even uglier now that it’s contorted and swollen and bruised.
“No,” I say again. “Father, I refuse to marry Aleksei. Or any of your men. I will not be marrying today.”
Abram shakes his head. He lifts a hand into the air, and I stand tall, bracing myself for the hit. But instead of hitting me, Abram swings his arm and glares at me.
“Daughter, you must obey me,” Abram says. He folds his arms across his chest. “You must obey me.”
“No!” I cry. Finally, the adrenaline has kicked in, and I feel powerful. I know I’m surrounded by men with guns, but I no longer care. I don’t give a shit if I live or die. If I die, that’s still a better alternative to marrying Aleksei. And if I live, well, it’ll be on my own terms.
Abram stares at me coldly. Any trace of affection I saw in his eyes has long since vanished “Daughter, you must do this. It is fate. It is your destiny.”
I lick my lips. “You don’t get to have a say in my life,” I say loudly. “You abandoned me when I was a child! And now you come back and try to force me to marry one of your men, supposedly for my own protection! What a load of shit!”
Abram looks taken aback, like I’ve punched him. He blinks at me. “You do not understand,” Abram says. He sounds tired, like I’ve worn him out with all this arguing. He doesn’t look like a mastermind crime boss, he looks like an exhausted old man.
“I do understand,” I say loudly. “I understand that you want to control my life, and I’m not going to let you.”
One of the men – I can’t be sure, but I think it’s Chubby – lets out a loud guffaw in the back of the room.
A glance from Abram is more than enough to silence him, though. “Shut up,” Abram says. He growls at the men. I grin. I can tell he’s clearly losing his grip on reality. He obviously hadn’t thought I’d be so difficult.
“Boss?” Aleksei steps forward. “Why don’t I take Natalia back to her room?” He grins at me and I glare at him. “We can get to know each other a little before the wedding.”
I shriek when I realize what he means. Before I can run from the room, Aleksei’s rushed to my side. The slap across my face surprises me more than it hurts.
“That sounds like a good idea,” Abram says smugly. He crosses his arms across his chest. “Natalia, I think Aleksei knows exactly how to handle you.”
As Aleksei drags me, kicking and screaming, to my room, I pray for Beast to rescue me.
Chapter 28 Beast
Doc and I have just finished dragging the last of the guards inside when the daylight fades into evening. It happens so quickly in the winter. It’s always like that in New York for some reason. Dark falls palpably – there’s always a sound that you can hear, if you listen for it.
We are breathing hard. It’s hard to remember the last time I worked so hard. Hell, I’ve been cooped up in the warehouse with Natalia for so long that my muscles are turning to mush. It’s part of why I could understand how she felt so easily. I know she was going crazy without the chance to go out in the world.
“Boss, I think this is it,” Doc says. He throws the guard’s body on top of the others. They look pathetic. Their eyes are still open, and rigor mortis has set in. All four are studded with bullets from Doc’s little silver gun.
“Good.” I nod and look around. “Now tell me what we should take.”
“Start opening crates,” Doc says. “And just take whatever you need. I don’t know, enough to make a good sale when this is all over.”
Nodding, I start digging through the nearest wooden crate. It’s filled to the brim with huge bags of cocaine. There’s probably enough blow in this bag to finance the rest of the year for the Renegade Reapers. But even that thought doesn’t fill me with happiness. All I can think about is Natalia, and if she’s safe. She’s been gone for hours, and I know Abram has always been a man of immediacy.
I’d like to think I could tell if Natalia were still alive. That we have some kind of psychic bond that went where words don’t need to go – that we have bared enough of our souls to each other to communicate without words.
“Hey,” Doc says. He snaps his fingers in front of my face. “Come on, man. Stay focused.”
Nodding, I turn back to him and hold up a bag of blow. “Look at this. This shit looks pure, too.”
“We’ll load up our saddlebags,” Doc says. “We gotta act fast. Come on.”
Over the next twenty minutes, Doc and I fill our arms with cocaine. I grab a couple of bags of ecstasy tablets and tuck those away, too. I usually hate selling X but this stuff looks incredible, and I know he’s been slinging good shit across the city.
When we’re done, Doc holds up a can of kerosene. I grin. I’d forgotten that he always carries one around. It’s painful to know how much money I’ll be destroying by burning these drugs, but it’s the surest way to get Abram’s attention.
“It’s good that it’s dark,” Doc says. We’re walking around the perimeter of the building, splashing kerosene on the walls and along the ground. “Abram should know exactly where the fire is coming from.”
I nod grimly. As soon as we’re done, Doc tosses the empty can inside. He hands me a book of matches and grins.
“Come on, boss,” Doc says. He winks at me. “Now it’s your turn to watch everything go up.”
Chapter 29 Natalia
I don’t resist as Aleksei drags me back to my room. I do, however, dig in my heels and try to make it hard for him. I want him to be exhausted by the time we get back to my room.
In other words, I want it to be easy for me to take advantage of him.
Aleksei slams the door behind us. Suddenly, I’m no longer afraid of him. In a room with just a bucket and a pile of straw, what’s he going to do?
“You can’t handle me,” I say, backing away from him. “If you come any closer, I’ll scream and scream and scream.”
He laughs and shakes his head. When he speaks, his English is only marred by the slightest accent. I can tell he’s spent a lot of time in America. Now it’s my job to convince him to abandon Abram and work with me instead.
“You can scream all you want,” Aleksei says. He grins at me. It looks painful. His lip is so distended that he’s drooling everywhere, and it’s disgusting.
I shrug. “Wouldn’t that be annoying? If you had to keep listening to me?”
Aleksei snorts. “I doubt it,” he says. “You’ll get tired eventually, won’t you?”
I sigh. “Look, someone’s looking for me, and he’s got a lot of money,” I say. Aleksei’s eyes widen at the word ‘money’ and my heart soars.
“You’re just saying that.”
“I’m not.” I sit down on the floor and cross my legs, trying to look earnest and innocent. “My boyfriend – Beast, you may have heard of him before – well, he’s gonna be really mad that I’m gone. And he’s tough, you know. He doesn’t care about getting shot or ripped up. He cares about revenge.”
Aleksei looks nervous for a moment and it’s hard to resist cheering. Somehow, I manage to turn my hope into a sad expression.
“And if Beast thinks I’m dead, or that you hurt me…” I trail off, looking down at my hands in my lap. “Well, he’s not going to be very happy. He’s probably going to want revenge, even if I’m still alive.”
Aleksei doesn’t reply. He’s still staring at me. There’s a blank, stony look on his face.
“And if you help me get out of here, I’ll make sure Beast doesn’t hurt you,” I promise. “Hell, I can do better than that. I know he’s got
money, and I’ll make sure you get some for keeping me safe.”
Aleksei narrows his eyes. I can tell he’s debating if he should trust me.
“You should trust me,” I say. I know I’m babbling on incoherently, but I can’t stop. This is my own chance to get help from the inside, and I need all the help I can get.
“I don’t know…” Aleksei starts. “How do I know you’re not just saying all this?”
I shrug. “You don’t. But what’s the worst that can happen?”
Aleksei glares at me.
“Sorry,” I say quickly.
“You know, we drugged you,” Aleksei says slowly. He turns to me and his face stretches into an ugly grin. “We made Reis give you drugs. We wanted you to like him and feel like you could trust him.”
The memory of my night with Reis makes me sick. We didn’t really even do anything, but it disgusts me to know that he took advantage of me.
“I don’t want to talk about that,” I say slowly. “And if you know Abram has those drugs, what exactly is stopping him from using them on you?”
Aleksei smirks. “I don’t know,” he says.
“Come on,” I say. “Just trust me. Help me get out of here, and I’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you.”
For a moment, Aleksei’s silent. I can tell he’s considering the deal. I want to throttle him by the shoulders and throw him into the wall until he agrees. But I know I have to hold off. If I want him to trust me, I’m certainly not going to help my case with violence.
“You had no problem trusting Reis,” Aleksei says slowly. He stares at me. “You fell for everything.”
“Because you drugged me!” I say hotly. “You made sure I’d trust him!” I shiver. I’m still disgusted with the way I acted. Worse, my nausea from earlier is starting to come back. At any other point in time, I’d think it was due to lack of food. But right now, I’m not sure. It could be anything.
And you did trust him , a nasty little voice in the back of my head says. You fell for everything, hook, line, and sinker. You forgot all about Beast in a matter of minutes .
“Oh, God,” I mumble softly. “I don’t deserve Beast.”
Aleksei’s head snaps up. He glares at me. I feel hopeless. I can tell by his expression that any hope of getting him to trust me is over and done with.
“Just shut up,” Aleksei says angrily. “Don’t talk anymore. I don’t want to hear your lies.”
Suddenly, the nausea grows. I don’t want to vomit, but I can feel it coming. Turning away from Aleksei, I brace myself against the wall and throw up. The bile tastes disgustingly sour in my mouth and the taste is enough to make me gag while I’m still vomiting. It pours out of me like hot poison, and tears come to my eyes. My mouth stretches open so wide that the corners of my lips crack.
When I’m finished, I’m out of breath. The room stinks of acrid vomit, and Aleksei covers his nose and mouth with one hand.
“Disgusting,” Aleksei says. “I cannot believe you, girl.”
That’s one way to stop him from touching me. I don’t think it’s enough to keep him from marrying me. I bury my head in my hands. I want to cry, but the tears won’t come. Why is this happening , I wonder. What did I do to deserve this?
The metal door to my room slides open. Abram is standing there with another man, clad in priest’s robes. I blink.
“The priest has arrived,” Abram says smugly. “Natalia, do you know your new husband?”
I glance at Aleksei. Yes, and I hate him , I think.
“Well, come now,” Abram says. “We have an audience waiting for us.”
Abram leads us back to the main room. This time, there’s no need to restrain me. I’m following Abram like there’s a chain around my neck. The taste of vomit is still clinging to my tongue and the sides of my mouth. My emotions are swirling through my body and my heart is pounding erratically. My palms are cold and sweaty.
“She stinks,” Aleksei says flatly. “She threw up back in her room.”
Abram rolls his eyes. “It always something with you,” he says loudly to Aleksei. Turning to me, he raises his eyebrow. “Your new husband is whiner,” Abram says, loud enough for Aleksei to hear. “You better get used to being mother, Natalia.”
I glare at him. “I hate you,” I say softly.
Abram grins. “I know,” he says. “Come here, Devochka.”
Standing next to Abram, my body goes numb. He begins speaking to the room, babbling away in Russian. The syllables almost sound like he’s singing instead of talking, and it’s hard not to be carried away by the rocking lull of his speech. When he finishes, he turns to me and smiles placidly. “Natalia,” Abram says. “Now comes the time for you to marry.”
He hands me off to the priest, who leads me towards the center of the room where Aleksei is waiting. The priest doesn’t even look at me as he gives one of my hands to Aleksei who clutches my fingers in his as the priest wraps a silken strip of fabric around our hands.
The priest starts talking in Russian, and I cock my head to the side, feeling confused. It wasn’t like I thought he’d actually make it easy for me but still. I can’t help but feel incredibly irritated. This is just another way Abram is fucking with me , I think as I stare at Aleksei.
Aleksei isn’t meeting my eyes. His fingers release mine, but I can’t pull my hand away because the cloth binding them is too tight.
“Hey, I don’t actually want to marry this guy,” I say loudly to the priest. “Don’t you care about that? Don’t you give a shit that this is being done against my will?”
I don’t expect the priest to reply, but he turns to me and shrugs. That makes me feel outraged. I yank my hand back from the fabric. Still, it doesn’t budge. I yank again and again. Finally, my arm snaps back, and I stumble backwards across the floor. To my horror, the room full of Russian men erupts into laughter.
Aleksei reaches forward and grabs me, pulling me close. “Stop fucking around!” he hisses. “You don’t want to make this a mess, do you?”
Tears come to my eyes. I feel utterly and completely defeated.
Just as I’m about to give up, give in, and marry Aleksei, a wonderful sound reaches my ears. It’s like the heavens are opening with the cry of God.
It’s a cell phone, and it’s ringing.
Angrily, Abram reaches into his pocket and grabs his phone. He holds his hand up in the air, gesturing for the priest to stop. The priest looks incredibly offended but holds his tongue, and silence fills the room. Abram answers the phone with a short bark in Russian. I can tell from his tone and expression that whatever is going on is worse than just the interruption of his daughter’s wedding.
After a few seconds, Abram slams the phone down on the floor. It breaks apart into a bunch of tiny pieces, and Abram turns to Aleksei. “Watch her while I’m gone,” he barks. He calls something in Russian and then runs out of the room. Most of the men, including Chubby and William, chase after him.
The priest shrugs. “I cannot continue, there are no witnesses,” he says, in easy English.
I glare at him. “Good,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. Turning towards Aleksei, I frown. “What the hell is going on?”
Aleksei shrugs. “I have no idea,” he says. “Did your father tell you anything earlier?”
I shake my head. “Like he’d tell me shit,” I say. I laugh. Suddenly, the whole situation is incredibly funny to me. Not funny-funny, of course, more like morbid-funny. Still, it’s enough to make me laugh so hard that my eyes fill with fresh tears once more.
Aleksei looks at me. “You know,” he says slowly. “After the wedding, when we are husband and wife, you can call me Alyosha.”
I burst out laughing.
“What’s funny?” Aleksei looks wounded. “It’s the affectionate name for Aleksei in Russian. Don’t you want to know that?”
I know I look insane, but I can’t stop laughing until there are tears rolling down my cheeks. Everything is fucked, but at least I’m learning some
thing about Russia.
Chapter 30 Beast
After I toss the match into the flames, Doc and I walk over to the side of the building. At first, the fire doesn’t catch. The wind has started to blow an icy chill over all of New York City, and for a moment I’m worried we’re really going to be fucked. Nothing would be worse than Abram Pestov returning to his drug warehouse and finding four dead bodies, a bunch of kerosene, and two members of the Renegade Reapers.
Thankfully, the last match catches. The fire whooshes up from the ground in a brilliant display of orange-blue flames. The warmth feels amazing, and for a moment, I stand with my hands held over the fire. But after a few seconds, the fire starts licking up the walls of the warehouse, and I realize I need to move. If I don’t step away, I’ll be burned alive.
