by Roxie Noir
Leah didn’t say anything, and she wouldn’t look at him directly, but she bit her lip and he saw her eyes brighten.
“Don’t cry,” he said. “Please don’t cry. I’m leaving, I promise.”
“Wait,” she said.
Nathan thought his heart might stop.
“I thought it was just me,” she whispered. “I thought you wouldn’t look at me because you couldn’t stand me.”
“Not at all. Not even close.”
They paused for a long moment, staring into each other’s eyes. Nathan felt like he was falling endlessly, head over foot, into her, and he never wanted to come back up.
“I was so jealous I thought I might explode,” she said. “Of Emily, for getting you.”
“Not a chance,” Nathan said. “Not a single chance.”
Gently, his fingers almost trembling, he put one hand on her chin, his fingertips just barely brushing her soft, pale skin.
“What do we do now?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.
“Can I kiss you?” He’d never asked permission before, but he’d never even been near someone like Leah before.
“Yes,” she said, her eyes sliding closed.
Just as Nathan bent down, his lips nearing hers, there was a shout from inside the farmhouse.
“Leah!” Jonah Whitehorse’s voice boomed.
Leah’s eyes flew open, only inches from Nathan’s, and now they bordered on terror.
“I have to go,” she said.
Then she gave his hand a quick squeeze in her own and ran back across the unkempt lawn, barefoot, to her front door, giving him one last glance before rushing inside.
Nathan was left standing in the driveway, open-mouthed and utterly unsure of what to do next.
Instead of going home, Nathan rode his bike around for a while. Though Fjords was in a fairly flat little area, the mountains were only about thirty minutes outside town and before he knew it, he was on a two-lane mountain road, climbing higher and higher, the air getting chilly even in the summertime.
Muscle memory and sheer habit wanted him to turn toward Seward and head back to its seedy bars, but he didn’t go. He’d already proven to himself that there was nothing there for him anymore. Cruise ship women were a thing of his past.
All he could think about was Leah. He’d finally touched her, really touched her, and her skin had felt like rose petals and lava under his hands, soft and liquid and hot all at once. Nathan hadn’t known that just touching someone could feel like that, not to mention the rest of her.
The logical part of his brain knew it was probably a good thing that Jonah had called her back inside, because he didn’t know if he’d have been able to control himself. In another few minutes he’d have had her skirt up around her waist, her back in the grass.
He tried to imagine what it sounded like when Leah moaned in pleasure and a chill went down his spine.
I have to see her again, was all he could think.
He wasn’t stupid. He knew that she was going to marry someone else in, what, five more days? He also knew that her father was an absolute tyrant, and that she’d grown up obeying his every command.
But somehow, none of that mattered.
He had to see her again, and that was the one thing that he knew for certain. Everything else he’d figure out one way or another, but there was that one simple, soul-deep desire.
He had to see her again.
It was late, nearly midnight, when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Caller ID told him it was Brock, and so he pulled over to the side of the road, cut his engine, and answered it.
“Yeah?”
“Where are you?”
“I took a ride around the mountains,” Nathan said.
Brock was quiet for a moment. They had known each other for a long time, and Brock understood what that meant.
“So you didn’t hear the pandemonium,” Brock finally said.
Nathan began to get a bad feeling about this call.
“No. What happened?”
“One of the bride’s redneck cousins caused another ruckus,” Brock said. “Again.”
Nathan flinched when he heard Brock called Leah the bride.
“Oh.”
“He got drunk, picked a fight in a bar, shifted near humans, and then knocked over a traffic light on his way out of town.”
“Damn.”
“I need you to do something about him,” Brock said. “I talked to him and to Jonah about this after the engagement party, but it seems that we need something a little stronger.”
Nathan had that awful, crawling feeling in his gut, the feeling he got when Brock was asking him to do something really bad.
“How much stronger?”
“Rough him up and leave him in the woods. Couple of broken bones. They usually learn after that.”
Unbidden, Nathan thought again of Kaitlyn, of that horrible snap sound.
He was quiet for a long time, staring at the yellow lines on the road.
“Nathan?”
“I don’t think I can, Brock,” he said, slowly.
He thought of Leah, of her perfect, beautiful face staring up at him. How could she love someone who put her cousin in the hospital?
“Why not?” asked Brock.
Nathan was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out what to say.
“I’d like to start being a better person,” he said.
He didn’t say, I want to be someone that Leah could love.
To his surprise, Brock chuckled.
“For Emily,” Brock asked. It wasn’t a question.
“Well, you know,” answered Nathan. He didn’t want to lie to his alpha, but he didn’t want to give himself away.
“Understood,” said Brock. “I’ll find someone else.”
Then he hung up the phone, leaving Nathan straddling his bike, on a road in the dark.
His refusal had gone surprisingly well.
Chapter Ten
Leah
Leah knew that she was in trouble the moment she opened the front door to the house, her father standing at the other end of the short hallway, simply glowering.
For one moment she felt a flare of anger at the whole situation. She was thirty-two years old, and even though she’d grown up in this clan and did things their way, how many other thirty-two-year old women could still get in trouble with their fathers?
“What were you doing?” he asked. He stood perfectly still, the only hint to his fury the line sunken between his brows.
“He left his phone on the table,” Leah said, brushing her hands together like she was wiping them off. Her heart was still beating so hard she was certain her father could hear it, but hopefully he’d think she was just afraid of him.
“I didn’t see it there.”
Leah shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “It was sort of peeking out from under his napkin. I wanted to get it to him before he left.”
The chasm between his eyebrows got shallower. It was working.
“You should have had one of your sisters accompany you.”
“I didn’t think of it, daddy,” she said, walking forward in the hallway. She was out of the danger zone now, she could tell.
He still glared, but less severely.
“It was just the front yard, daddy. It was nothing.”
Coming right up to him, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his beard-covered cheek.
“You know that I don’t approve of you being alone with men.”
“I know.”
He stepped aside and let her through to the kitchen, and Leah felt her insides go droopy with relief.
If he’d caught her actually touching Nathan, there’d have been hell to pay. Not only had she been in physical contact with a man she wasn’t at least betrothed to, but she was already betrothed to someone else.
Leah was playing with fire, and it had to stop, and she knew it.
“So?” rang a voice from the kitchen, shouting over the clatter of the
dishes.
Leah stepped into the room to see Abigail, Rebecca and Emily all standing by the sink. The dishwasher was already running, but it never fit everything, so one sister was washing, one rinsing, and one drying.
Emily, on drying duty, just shrugged.
“He’s kind of old,” she said, noncommittally.
Even at twenty, she obviously knew better than to badmouth someone who might wind up her mate. That was the constant push-pull of being in the Yukon clan. On the one hand, they were expected to fall in love with their mates at first sight, recognize the other half of their soul in someone else.
On the other hand, their fathers usually arranged marriages with men they barely knew. No one ever asked if the women felt that spark or that pull, it was simply assumed that, since a man had been chosen for them, they did.
Leah was finding out what happened when the universe had other plans.
“Nathan’s not bad,” she said, stepping up to the counter. She began putting leftovers into the fridge.
“He isn’t a very good conversationalist,” said Emily. “Daddy kept asking him questions and he just looked like a deer in the headlights every time he had to answer.”
That’s because Daddy’s not normal, thought Leah, but she didn’t say it.
“He probably wasn’t prepared,” she said out loud.
“Then why come over here at all?” Emily said. Though the girl was shy in front of strangers, she was a firecracker with her sisters. Like right now.
“Beats me,” said Leah.
Stop defending him, she thought. What if they catch on?
“You guys want any more pie before I put it away?” she asked, sneaking a forkful herself.
Leah spent most of that night and the next day trying to tell herself that it had been nothing. Somehow, both she and Nathan had gotten the wrong idea, and sure, he’d touched her in the front yard, but that was it.
She probably wouldn’t even see him again until her wedding, and at that point, it didn’t even matter, right?
Ian was her partner, her husband-to-be and her soulmate, and that was that.
She just wished thinking that didn’t make her feel quite so awful.
At six on the dot, Ian’s SUV rumbled up their driveway to pick her up for their date. It was a little strange for a groom-to-be to only spend a little bit of time with his soon-to-be wife — in Yukon City, the two usually spent most of their time together for that week, chaperoned of course — but Ian seemed very busy with his import-export business.
Leah was waiting in the sitting room on one of the blue couches, trying not to be too nervous. She waited for him to come to the door, as was proper, and then opened it under her mother’s watchful eye.
Ian stepped inside and handed her a small bouquet of flowers. Carnations, not her favorite, but he’d learn what she liked, right?
“You look lovely,” he said perfunctorily, but Leah still blushed. She didn’t get many compliments, especially being the heaviest of four daughters.
“Thanks,” she said. “Would you like to come in?”
Most of Leah’s family was pretending to be busy in the nearby rooms, so she walked him through them and Ian shook hands with everyone. He remembered most of their names.
See, thought Leah, trying to warm herself to the man she was going to marry, he’s made an effort. You should appreciate that.
She was really, really trying.
Finally, Ian looked at his watch, then at Leah.
“Grab your sister, our reservation’s at seven,” he told her.
Leah blinked. “My sister?”
“Emily,” he said. “It’s a double date. We’re meeting Nathan there.”
Leah nearly broke into a grin, and her heart turned over in her chest. It was only years of training that let her keep the same facial expression.
“No one told me.”
She saw the muscles around his eyes tighten just the tiniest bit.
“Just get your sister and let’s go,” he said, the friendly joviality suddenly gone from his voice.
Leah felt something small and ice cold settle in the pit of her stomach, but she went to go find her little sister.
The drive to the restaurant was mostly silent.
Chapter Eleven
Nathan
Nathan sat in the big corner booth nervously. He felt overdressed for the Applebee’s: since his only ‘nice’ clothes had been torn to shreds, he’d gone out shopping after work, finding himself another dress shirt and a nice-enough sport coat. He’d gotten lucky, since Fjord’s only real clothing store usually didn’t have a lot for the six-and-a-half-foot gentleman, but this time he’d found both things in one fell swoop.
He flipped the laminated menu back and forth in his hands, looking at the drinks. It was mostly a cavalcade of fruity cocktails or things that were really just milkshakes with a splash of rum, but he could really go for a whiskey on the rocks right now. The only problem was that he didn’t think the Yukon clan approved of drinking — after all, the betrothal party had been totally dry — and he didn’t want to upset the girls.
Nathan pulled his phone out of his pocket one more time. 6:57. They weren’t even late yet.
Maybe this was dumb, he thought for the thousandth time. It was probably insane at the very least to go on a date with the girl you couldn’t stop thinking about and her intended mate, using her little sister as an excuse.
It was the best thing he’d come up with, though, and not seeing her again just wasn’t an option. As much as he wanted to just climb into her window and sneak off with her, he didn’t really know what she thought about this yet.
Besides, if she wasn’t interested, there were a whole lot of grizzlies in that house and only one of him. Even though he was more than willing to fight every one of them and die for Leah if he had to, better to leave that plan as a last resort.
At last, he saw Ian walk in, say something to the hostess, then look over at Nathan. Leah and Emily trailed behind him, looking a little out of place in the bright, loud Applebee’s. They both wore simple clothes: a short-sleeve shirt and a khaki skirt that hit mid-calf.
He tried not to stare at Leah, but he couldn’t help it, not even with Ian watching. There was just something about the way she moved, the way her hips swayed even under her ugly skirt, that lit every nerve in his body on fire and made him feel like there was absolutely nothing else in the world.
Nathan had never wanted anything so badly in his life.
“Nathan,” said Ian, stepping up to him and offering a firm but quick handshake before slipping into the booth.
As he did, Nathan locked eyes with Leah for one second before she looked down at the floor, cutting him off.
Does she know I did this? He wondered.
Does she know it’s because I thought I’d lose my mind if I didn’t see her again?
“Hi,” said Emily.
Nathan took her hand, kissed it for lack of knowing what else to do, and let her into the booth first.
Then he got in himself, sitting directly across from Leah. He couldn’t have planned it better.
The four of them stared at their menus in total silence for a long time.
“You guys want to split some mozzarella sticks?” Nathan finally asked. “We could get an order of that and an order of wings, live a little.”
“Are they chicken wings?” asked Emily, her voice barely audible over the din of the restaurant.
“Right,” said Nathan.
Leah looked at him over the menu. He couldn’t see anything but her eyes, making her face inscrutable, but he thought she looked amused, or at the very least, hungry.
“I’ve never been to a place like this before,” said Emily, her voice still so breathy and young-sounding. Nathan wondered what everyone else here must think, seeing the two of them together. Did they think she was his daughter?
“An Applebee’s?” asked Nathan.
“There’s only two restaurants in Yukon City,” Leah volu
nteered, still looking at the menu. “Grandma’s Biscuit Hut and a McDonald’s.” She lowered her menu and Nathan could finally see that she was smiling. “This is a big deal for us.”
“I’m glad I could show you ladies a good time,” Nathan said.
At last, he was beginning to feel a little like his old self, someone who could make conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Leah had clammed him up at first, shocked him into silence. Bamboozled was the best word he could think of, actually.
Just as he was thinking that this was going pretty well, he caught the tail end of an icy cold glare from Ian, still brooding over the menu caddy-corner to Nathan.
Nathan grit his teeth together and didn’t do anything. He knew that he could take Ian in a fight, but he also knew that Ian wouldn’t address his problems directly to Nathan — he’d address them to Leah, and from what Nathan had gathered about Leah, she’d been taught her whole life never fight back against her husband-to-be.
“You guys ready to order?” asked the brunette, human waitress who came over, giving Nathan a particular smile.
He sent a polite smile back, but quickly tried to place her. This Applebee’s was one of only a handful of places in town where you could get a drink. Had he taken this waitress home at some point? All the women’s faces tended to blend together.
All besides Leah’s, of course.
Nathan ordered the wings and mozzarella sticks, then a burger for himself. Emily quietly ordered the chicken tenders, and for half a second, Nathan had thought she was going to order from the kids’ menu.
Then it was Ian’s turn.
“I will have the T-Bone steak, sixteen ounce size, with a side of mashed potatoes,” he said, adopting an oddly formal tone with the waitress.
Thinking it was her turn, Leah spoke up.
