by Lynda Aicher
He paused, taking in his fill of Tanner stretched out naked on the turned-down bed, arms tucked behind his head, legs spread. The bedside lamp cast the room in a warm glow that deepened Tanner’s naturally golden skin. His tattoos added to his beauty, the different colors and designs telling a tale only he fully understood, but that Finn wanted to know.
The newest one snaked down his hip and over his upper thigh in intriguing lines that seemed patternless yet planned. It wound past his groin to spread over his upper thigh, his erection covering the trailing ends of a few meandering wisps. The artist had done an amazing job of making it appear fluid, almost changing.
He put a knee on the mattress, eyes locked on Tanner’s as he drew closer. There was no need for words about where this was going. Tonight wasn’t about dominance or control.
It was just about them.
The love he wanted to show and give.
He caged Tanner in, but stayed on his hands and knees. Electricity jumped between them, dancing over his skin to tempt him closer. He lowered his head, pausing a breath away. Tanner’s eye color had deepened into dark want. So open. Honest.
“I’m going to make love to you,” he whispered. “Slow and hard.” He remembered how to do that. He’d ached to do exactly that for so long that he had zero fears of stumbling or faltering.
Tanner’s smile blossomed in a slow curve of agreement. “You’d better.”
“Or what?”
“I’ll hold you down and give you exactly what you’re teasing me about.” Strong conviction lined with a follow-through Finn knew he could give. He groaned, eyelids lowering as he imagined it.
“We could do that too,” he said. He was game for anything—everything—with Tanner. They were equals—always. And this was a negotiation where the details of the how didn’t matter. As long as they ended up in a sweaty heap, gasping, connected in the only way they’d never been.
Tanner cupped his neck and drew him in for a long, slow kiss that mirrored Finn’s description of how he was going to make love to him. Hard thrusts of his tongue followed by shorter dips and swirls.
Finn gave it back, sinking down until they were skin to skin. His sigh drifted through him on that welcome-home current he’d always had with Tanner. But this was deeper, almost overwhelming. Nothing had ever been so right before.
So…good.
He worked his legs between Tanner’s, lifted his hips, shifted until their erections touched. His silent yes blended with Tanner’s grunted moan. Stars fired behind his eyelids, his abdomen contracting with the contact. This. Just…
This was everything. Tanner here with him, loving him as only he could.
His skin was hot, every slide and touch sinking into him to ignite a fire he’d dampened for years. “God, I want you,” he murmured, kissing his way down Tanner’s smooth jaw. He traced the shell of his ear, loving how Tanner arched his neck to make more room. He wanted to find every sensitive spot, tease out each moan and fine shudder.
“I’ve waited so long for this,” Tanner rasped, the deep timbre flowing into Finn on a note of want.
His touch was everywhere. On Finn’s neck, down his back, over his ass. Grip tight. A rock of his hips tore a cry of lust from Finn. “Fuck.” He closed his eyes, everything focused on the slide of hard heat over his dick.
This is Tanner. My best friend…The man I love.
“Me too,” he said between small nips down his neck. “For so damn long.” He questioned nothing, only gave and breathed. Long breaths that filled his lungs and lifted his heart. Vanilla blended with love and sex. How would he breathe without him?
He hadn’t, not when Chris and Tanner had both been gone.
He dove back in for another consuming kiss. Lips soft yet firm, head angled to go deeper, fit completely with Tanner. A sense of completeness wrapped around him—and they were only kissing.
A last touch of lips, a breathy moan when a dip of his hips ground their dicks together. Ecstasy sang through his blood, a primal urge shoving him forward too quickly. He wanted to savor this, not rush it.
He backed off, sucked in air, and tried to slow the blaze down. There was something important he wanted to say. Needed to clarify. The thread spun around the want clamoring in his groin and the love pounding in his heart. There. He snapped it up, held it close so he wouldn’t lose it.
Tanner opened his eyes, lashes almost absent within the fold of his lids. His lips were parted, reddened by their kiss, breaths quick.
Finn searched him, found everything he’d ever wanted and what he’d been afraid to hope for.
“I love you,” he whispered, the breathy admission more air than actual sound. But the words had never meant more, never come from so deeply within him. “Fuck.” He dipped his head, cheek grazing Tanner’s as he scrambled with the power of his emotions. “I love you so damn much.”
Tanner wrapped him up tight, arms and legs clamping around him. Security and comfort in one. Truth and strength exchanged freely. It rocked him to his soul, shattered the last of his walls to leave him vulnerable—and free.
“Hey,” Tanner said. He urged Finn up, guided him until they were face-to-face. Intensity blazed back at Finn, a power all its own. Tanner’s smile was gentle, though, his touch calm. “I love you too. So damn much.” His mimicked words were ground out with the same rough demand there’d been in Finn’s.
They searched each other, everything laid out for the other to see.
I can’t believe you’re here.
Don’t let me go.
Love me.
I do.
Absolutely no one had ever loved him like this before. His heart had always belonged to Chris and Tanner. Would he and Tanner be here now, like this, if Chris were alive? He didn’t think so. But Chris wasn’t, and they still were.
And this was honest.
He fell into the love. Took the honesty and fed it to his lust. He’d take care of Tanner. Be the man he needed him to be. Give back as much as Tanner had given him.
And he’d love him with everything he had.
—
Tanner squirmed beneath Finn, each hot kiss down his neck and over his chest a promise of more. Like the words, and the looks, and every touch. This was just a beginning for them.
Finn sucked Tanner’s nipple into his mouth, stalling Tanner’s breath. Prickling tingles raced over his chest and down to his dick, each suck and flick of Finn’s tongue sending warmth everywhere.
He loved it. This. Finn. Still couldn’t believe they were here.
His ass clenched with the need to be filled. He wanted Finn in there like he’d never wanted anything before. To be connected completely.
“You need to hurry up,” he said, hips jerking at a sharp bite. His entire groin area was tense and ready to explode.
Finn chuckled against his chest, the vibrations tickling. “I want to explore.” He followed that statement with a flick and a suckle on his other nipple.
Tanner groaned his approval and torment, his chest arching into the contact. His thoughts scattered on the sensations racing from his nipples to his dick. Want and need twisted with love to make every touch more potent, each moan and wet suck a fucking tease. It coalesced into a single purpose: to get Finn in him as soon as fucking possible.
He dug under the pillow next to him and found the lube he’d stashed there. His fist clenched around the bottle when Finn used his teeth to stretch his nipple. “Fuck.” Pain slashed down his chest to slam into the desire already coiled beneath his skin. “More.” He gasped out the request, demand, plea—whatever it was. He dug his free hand into Finn’s nape, torn between holding him down and yanking him back.
Finn released his nipple, his hum blending with the soft licks he bathed on the abused nub. Lust poured into Tanner, driving him crazy.
“Here.” He shoved the lube at him.
Finn grinned, the look pure dark intent, but he didn’t argue. He sat back on his heels, Tanner’s legs spread over his thighs, his certainty displ
ayed. God, this was gorgeous. The light was back in his friend. The confidence bursting out like it had before the accident.
His breath caught with the hitch in his heart. This was everything. To see Finn happy. Proud. To be the one who made him this way.
Finn took the lube, flicked the lid open without breaking eye contact. “I—” He shook his head, looked down. His tongue slicked over lips dark with passion.
Tanner sat up, his abs contracting to get him in Finn’s face. He grabbed his cheeks, kissed him slow. “Love me, okay?” He swallowed, heart split open. “I don’t care how. Just love me.”
Love me like no one else ever has. Be my strength when I can’t be strong. My courage when I’m scared shitless. My confidence when I’m doubting.
“I will. I do.”
“That’s all I need.” All he’d ever needed, and exactly what he’d found in Finn and Chris. Now there was only Finn, and he wasn’t letting him go. Ever.
He lay back down, exposed and open to Finn. He didn’t flinch or hide when Finn took in his fill of him. His slow perusal seared into Tanner like a touch. Over his chest, down his abs.
Finn’s gaze held on Tanner’s groin, head tilting. He trailed his fingers over the meandering tattoo on Tanner’s thigh and hip, his touch blazing into Tanner and stealing his breath. He held it, locked in the moment.
Finn’s sharp inhalation pierced the air. His fingers stalled, head jerking up. His mouth gaped, confusion flashing in his eyes. “That…You…” He looked back at the tattoo, a finger tracing the single word intricately hidden within the seemingly meaningless design. Minute shivers cascaded over Tanner’s thigh with each slow caress. “Where’s…” He bent closer, hunting.
Tanner wet his lips, exhaling as his pulse increased. He waited for Finn to finish his search, uncertainty slipping in to twist in his chest. Deep lines creased Finn’s forehead when he finally looked up, the question blazing loud and clear. Where’s Chris’s name?
“There’s only yours.” The admission tore a path of guilt and sorrow through his heart, but it was healed by the awe overtaking Finn’s expression.
Finn retraced the letters almost reverently. “Even back then?”
“Yes,” Tanner answered, slowly sitting back up to cup Finn’s face. He let the truth out, exposing the secret he’d buried for so long. “I loved Chris, but it was always you, even back then.” The tattoo had been a way of declaring his love while keeping his secret. It’d been spontaneous and foolish, but he’d never regretted it, and no one had ever figured it out until now.
Finn kissed him hard and fierce, tackling him to the bed. Tanner took it all and gave it back just as greedily, lost in the swell of emotions. Relief, hunger, and an edge of desperation amplified every touch, every lick and nip.
Finn jerked back, breaths harsh, gaze intense. “That is…” He squeezed his eyes closed and sat back. He stared down at the tattoo, lip cocking up in a bemused smile. He grabbed the forgotten lube and squeezed some out on a slurpy gush that was its own aphrodisiac. “That’s going to get you so damn laid.”
Tanner lifted his legs, held them back at his knees. “It better.” He was breathless and sprung tight for that first touch. There. A graze over his hole that blazed into his groin. He clenched, dick twitching. “Yes.” He forced himself to relax. The soft circling over the sensitive muscles teased and eased. A finger slid in, barely noticed yet so damn good. He was still a little sore from the plug, but he didn’t care. The pain would pass. Hell, he’d take a lot more if it meant he’d finally have Finn inside him.
He bucked up as a second finger slid in. “Damn.” He panted through the burn, eyes locked on Finn, who watched his fingers, mouth parting farther as he pulled them out, shoved them back in a rhythm that drove Tanner out of his mind.
Fire filled his blood, his orgasm tightening in his groin from just Finn’s fingers. That full feeling delicious.
“Now. Fuck. Now.” He clamped down on the fingers, curling up to nail Finn with a hard stare that hopefully showed exactly how desperate he was. There was nothing he wasn’t willing to show him. Give him.
Finn didn’t question or push back. He tugged his fingers free, his eyelids dropping when Tanner held his clench.
“That’s fucking hot.”
“Just wait until you’re in there.”
Finn dove forward, tackled Tanner to the bed, and claimed his mouth in a possessive kiss that stole everything and gave it back too. He jerked up just as quickly, panting. He flipped the pillow over. Cursed, then reached for the nightstand.
“Don’t.” Tanner said, grabbing his arm. Finn whipped his head around, brows raised.
Are you sure?
Yes.
“I know you’re clear.” He’d been in the damn hospital for months. Everything would’ve been checked. “I—” He chuckled around a smile. “I haven’t fucked anyone for longer than you.” Before he’d left on his deployment. “I had other things to worry about too.”
Finn came back to him, searching again. I love you. Only you. No one else. Nothing between us. “I’ve never—”
“Me either.” Gone bare.
Finn squeezed his eyes closed, his laugh mostly air. “You know I probably won’t last long.”
“Like I will?” Their chuckles rumbled through the room on a note of mutual understanding. “But I’m not going anywhere.”
A seriousness swept over Finn, humor fading. “No,” he agreed, stroking lube over his erection in long, slow pulls. “You’re not.”
Tanner wet his lips, thoughts erased by the promise lined in every word and look. This wasn’t a flash of lust or a rush of mourning.
He lifted his legs again, opened himself up to everything Finn could—would—give him. His pulse jacked higher, the world narrowing to just Finn. His dick at Tanner’s hole. The focus intent when Finn pressed forward, mouth parting when the resistance gave way.
Tanner gasped, inhaled and held it, chest tightening, burn spreading as Finn went deeper. He curled up, savored every ache while refusing to look away. There was no way he was missing a single millisecond of this. Neither the focused awe that spread over Finn’s face nor the stretching pain that declared his claim on Tanner.
The light played over his features to display amazement that shifted to wonder, then ecstasy, in time with Tanner’s own changing emotions. He dropped back, ass lifting to take the last of Finn within him. Each long inch filled him, stretched hard against his rim and confirmed what he’d always believed.
This. This right here was everything he needed.
Finn raised his gaze, lust and love darkening his eyes. His groan tore from somewhere deep, the rough grate another validation of how right this was for both of them.
He tugged Finn down, wrapping his legs around Finn’s hips as he claimed his mouth for another kiss. Hot, needy, giving with those things words couldn’t fully express.
They moved together, Finn pulling out against Tanner’s resistance, waiting, breaths raspy until the tension eased. Tanner met him on the quick descent, pushing up to take everything. Sweet, beautiful fire blazed through his groin, dug into his balls and arced up his dick. His groan was pure bliss.
Their eyes locked through more long glides in and out, the tempo matching the gentle rise of his orgasm. The slow twist and flow that spread through his chest and expanded through his pelvis. I love you so fucking much. This—you are amazing. More. Now. You’re…Now!
Finn curled his lip and gave a hard thrust that jarred Tanner. “Yes.” Fuck yes. “Again. Harder.” His breath was knocked from him on the next jab, which nailed that spot Finn had been teasing before. Stars sparked before his eyes, pleasure launching into blinding want. “More.” So much more.
Finn buried his face in Tanner’s neck, drew his legs up, and gave Tanner everything he asked for. Hard, almost punishing drives that tore him apart and built him up. He clung to Finn, sensations sweeping through every cell until he was drowning in him. In the sense of belonging he never wanted to
lose and the man he loved more than life itself.
Finn reached between them to grab Tanner’s erection, the hard grasp and quick pumps exactly what he needed. He dug his fingers into Finn’s scalp, muscles contracting around the mounting tension.
Tanner’s orgasm hit, quick and shattering. It tore up his spine and blazed through his balls before erupting on a hoarse grunt and a draining release. Hot seed coated his stomach, Finn stroking him through the climb and fall. Tanner spiraled back on a shudder and moan that went on forever.
He forced his eyes open, though, mind still strung out on endorphins and wonder. His ass was sore and oversensitive now, but he tightened his legs, pushing down with his heels. “Come in me.” Fill me with come and own me. He rubbed a hand over the back of Finn’s head, his love spilling out of him in waves he could practically feel.
“That…” Finn squeezed his eyes closed, opened them after a hard inhalation. “Was fucking amazing to watch.”
“Show me.” Tanner leaned up to place a kiss on his lips. “Give me that.” He clenched his ass, yanking a strangled groan from Finn.
His brow lowered, face contorting with focused drive. His first thrust blew into Tanner to yank a curse from him. A pause, a gleam of power. Another hit, then another. The speed increased, each impact slapping out the beat in an audible race to the finish.
Tanner couldn’t take his eyes from him as his own arousal rebuilt, sensitivity turning to hunger.
Finn gasped, scowl deepening. “So—fuck.”
“Yes.”
He tensed, mouth parting, eyes closing. He gave another jerking thrust, then ground into Tanner on a hollow grunt. His head fell forward, tendons displayed on his neck before he threw it back. Everything relaxed as he let go, and Tanner fell more in love with him in that moment of pure emotion.
There was absolutely nothing between them. Nothing. And Tanner pulled it all in. The love and heat. The joy and connection. The rightness and confirmation.
Finn lowered his temple to Tanner’s, breath heavy on his cheek. “You…”
“Yeah,” he mumbled, turning his head to find Finn’s lips. A brush of agreement. Their noses bumped, then another soft peck. “Yeah.”
