by Alice Wilde
I take a deep breath in and lean against a tree to try and calm myself when I hear a twig snap behind me and spin around. A young woman steps out from behind several trees and stops a few feet away from me, her eyes wide at the sight of me.
“I’m sorry,” she says, “I hope I didn’t startle you.” She moves closer to me. “Is everything okay? I hope you don’t mind me asking, but you look like you’ve been crying.”
I turn my head away in embarrassment. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
I wish she’d leave me in peace, and I nearly jump out of my skin as she lays a hand against my arm.
“It’s okay to show emotion,” she says. “I find it rather attractive in a man.”
Her touch is warm and comforting, and I remain motionless as she squeezes my arm in a way that I think is supposed to be reassuring.
“My name is Erika.”
“Roan,” I say bluntly.
“That’s nice, but it doesn’t sound like a name you’d hear around here.”
I look at her in surprise. “We can understand each other?”
“Why is that so funny?”
“Besides the group I’ve been traveling with, I’ve barely understood a word anyone’s spoken in this country.”
“That might be because I’m not Norse,” Erika says with a chuckle. “I made an educated guess when I saw your red hair and hoped I’d chosen a tongue you’d understand.”
Erika’s accent is thick, but I’m happy to be able to talk to someone.
“Not bad.”
“I’d say I did a better job than just not bad,” Erika says, winking at me as her hand slides down my arm to my hand. “Here, come with me. I’ll show you something that might make you feel better.”
She pulls me further into the forest, and I watch, mesmerized as her thick hair bounces behind her. A few minutes later, we step out of the forest and I find myself standing at the edge of a large pool of water, staring up at a stunning waterfall.
“See,” Erika says. “I told you it would make you feel better.”
“You weren’t wrong,” I say quietly. Something about the sound of the waterfall helps calm me, at least for a moment.
I’m suddenly splashed with water, and I’m knocked back into focus. I look down into the pool of water and see Erika staring back up at me.
“You’ll feel even better after a swim,” she says, splashing me again.
“Hey, stop that!”
“Only if you join me.”
I laugh, pulling off my shirt before I realize what’s happening.
Erika watches me, and I can see the desire in her eyes as her gaze lingers on my bare chest. I hesitate for a moment before putting my shirt back on.
“I’d better not,” I say.
“Oh, come now,” Erika says, her eyes imploring me to join her.
“No, thanks.”
Erika pouts and then rises up from the water, and I realize she’s completely naked. My eyes linger on her for a moment out of shock before I turn away.
“You can look,” she says. “I don’t mind.”
I clear my throat, unable to think of a response. “I think I should go.”
“Don’t,” Erika whispers as she presses her naked body up against me and tears at my shirt.
I stumble backward into a nearby tree, the sudden fall tearing my shirt open and bringing her down with me.
She smiles coyly at me and grabs my hand, pressing it against her breast, and my cock twitches in my pants against my will.
“I need to go,” I say through gritted teeth as I pull my hand away from her body.
“Are you sure?” Erika asks as she grabs the bulge in my pants, and I groan involuntarily.
I clench my jaw and lift the woman off of me as hastily as I can without severely injuring her, placing her down roughly beside me before leaping to my feet. I start to say something, but think better of it as I turn and hurry back the way we’d come, back toward Annalise. And then it hits me why I’m so angry with her.
While Annalise seems to have feelings for both Ero and myself, there’s no one else for me but her.
Twenty-Six
Annalise
Roan doesn’t return for several hours after he left me at the edge of the lake. I’d headed back up to the jarl’s house—once I’d finished crying and washed my face in the lake. Finding an empty corner in the Great Hall to sit in, I watched the entrance anxiously, waiting for Roan to come back.
One of the servants crosses the room to light the fire for the night when the doors to the Great Hall swing open and Roan finally enters. He doesn’t see me, and my face falls at the sight of him. His shirt is torn, and not in a way that might suggest he’d brushed up against a tree while running through the forest. I watch as he walks straight through the hall and down the corridor toward our bedrooms.
My mouth has gone dry as I try not to overthink, but I can’t help but wonder if I’ve quite literally pushed him into another woman’s arms. I hadn’t even considered that might happen, but even if I had, do I have any right to be angry with him after what I’ve done?
Li enters the room and walks over to me.
“Did you see Roan?” Li asks.
“Yes.”
“I wonder what happened to him.”
“Li, you don’t suppose Roan would sleep with another woman, do you?”
Li looks at me in astonishment. “What would ever make you think that?”
“His state of dress just now,” I say quietly.
Li’s brow furrows as he thinks. “Now that you mention it, there was something off about it.”
I groan, my heart dropping into the pit of my stomach.
“There could be a number of reasons for it,” Li corrects hastily. “I’ve seen very few men care for a woman the way Roan cares for you.”
I know Li is trying to comfort me, but his words are only making me feel worse.
“Is there a reason why these types of thoughts are on your mind?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t guessed by now,” I say with a sad laugh.
“I have my theories,” Li says, “but it didn’t seem to be any of my business, aside from making sure Ero and Roan don’t kill each other over you.”
“Then you have guessed.”
“It wasn’t very hard to put two and two together,” Li says. “Though I don’t know any details about what happened between the three of you.”
“I think I’ve ruined everything.”
“They’re both still here. I doubt you’ve ruined things as much as you think you have. Besides, if I were to place any bets on who was the one responsible, I’d have to place it on Ero.”
“He’s not as bad as you two seem to think he is,” I say.
“I never said he was,” Li says with a grin. “Though, I don’t know that Roan would say the same.”
I sigh deeply.
“If it makes you feel any better, I can try to find out what happened.”
“No, it’s okay,” I say, even though I wish he would. “I think I should talk to him myself.”
“In that case, are you hungry?”
“Yes,” I say, taking Li’s hand and giving him a small smile as he helps me up.
Returning to my bedroom, I find a bath has been prepared for me in a rather large tub and a fresh set of clothes is laying on the bed. Undressing as quickly as I can, I slip into the hot water and sink into it. I’m just beginning to relax when the door to the room swings open and Roan enters without noticing me.
Something about his unexpected entrance makes me sink lower into the tub instead of letting him know I’m there. Had I gone into the wrong room? I didn’t think so, and then it hits me. Roan and I had been sharing a room before he found out about Ero, and I hadn’t returned to my own room since. I don’t know what drew me back tonight.
Maybe this bath wasn’t even meant for me. The tub is far larger than I am used to. I peer out over the edge of the basin. Roan’s back is to me.
He’s removed his shirt and is examining the tear.
“What a woman,” he mutters to himself, and I can feel a lump rise in my throat.
So, there was another woman…
Taking as deep of a breath as I can, I close my eyes and submerge myself underwater. Everything seems more peaceful here, until I’m suddenly pulled up out of the water by two large hands.
I splutter as I look up into Roan’s face.
“Oh,” Roan sighs, “it’s you.”
“Who else would it be?”
“For a moment I thought…” Roan starts to say before trailing off. “No one, lass. What are you doing in my bath?”
“I thought it was for me,” I say, trying not to focus on Roan’s lack of an answer.
“Afraid not, lass,” Roan says. “So, you’ll have to either allow me to join you or get out.”
I’m surprised by his offer to have me stay in the bath with him, and I wonder if it has anything to do with the other woman.
“Suit yourself,” Roan says as I make no move to exit the tub. He pulls off his pants before I have time to react and steps into the tub to join me.
As massive as he is, the tub can barely fit the two of us, and we’re left quite squished together, the water spilling over the sides of the basin.
“This isn’t exactly what I’d call a relaxing bath,” I groan.
“This isn’t exactly what I’d call a marriage,” Roan says, cutting me to the quick before quickly trying to take it back. “I’m sorry, lass. That was cruel.”
“You’re not wrong,” I say quietly. “I can’t blame you for feeling that way. Who am I to judge?”
Roan doesn’t say anything in response.
“I am sorry, Roan. I didn’t anticipate any of this.”
“Neither did I.”
“And I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to be with someone else.”
Roan looks up at me sharply. “What do you mean, lass?”
“I know we can’t escape our marriage,” I say. “But I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to take a different lover after what I’ve done to you. I don’t think it wouldn’t violate your vows to me if I allowed it.”
I can feel Roan watching me quietly.
“Don’t be ridiculous, lass. Just because I’m angry with you don’t mean I want a new lover.”
“No?”
“Of course not. That doesn’t make any sense,” Roan says. “I’m angry because you’re the only one I want to be with, and I hate the idea of sharing you with someone else. Especially when that someone is Ero.”
“So, there isn’t another woman?”
“What makes you ask that?”
“The way your shirt was torn when you returned this evening,” I say in a low voice.
“Oh, that woman,” says Roan. “I met a woman in the woods, and she was more than a little eager, as you can see from my ruined shirt, but nothing happened. I’d never do that to you.”
My eyes burn at his words. How could he still choose to be with me and only me? I don’t deserve him.
“Lass,” Roan says, lifting my face toward his. “I’ve chosen to be with you, and only you, but I won’t force you to do the same for me. I can’t promise I won’t wish death on Ero every waking moment of my life, but if you are certain you need him in your life to be happy, then so be it. I won’t lose you from my own life because of it.”
Tears spill onto my cheeks and Roan kisses me softly.
Roan and Ero can barely stand the sight of each other or stay in the same room for more than a few minutes at a time, but at least they aren’t tearing each other into pieces. I haven’t seen much of Ero over the past two days since he has been focused on choosing a new jarl.
It’s only toward the end of the series of competitions that I overhear a group of townspeople talking about how the method Ero has chosen to elect a new jarl reminds them of an old Norse legend about Thor and Loki. Leave it to Ero to make a game out of a political process—and to base it off an old children’s story at that.
I spend much of my time resting and trying to get to know more about the local customs and people. Roan still finds things a little complicated between us and has asked for time to adjust. He asked Li to accompany me whenever I venture off on my own in and around the town. With Ero busy in town and Roan needing space, I’ve enjoyed being able to get to know Li a little better. There are few topics he doesn’t know at least a little about, and our conversations are always interesting. As much as he tries to remain aloof and reasonable, Li has a boyish gentleness to him that is charming and leaves me feeling safe in his company—and thankful for someone to confide in.
I hear a loud cheer as Li and I walk back into town.
“Do you think they’ve finally chosen a new jarl?” I ask.
“Let’s hope so,” Li responds. “We’ve already stayed here far too long for my liking.”
We walk into the center of town and, sure enough, it seems the entire village is out to celebrate.
Ero is standing on the platform, holding up the arm of a man in seeming victory.
“Your new lord,” Ero shouts over the din of the crowd, and the cheers grow even louder.
Li and I skirt along the edge of the crowd until we can make our way back up to the Great Hall, where we find Roan waiting for us.
“He’s finally picked a successor,” Li says.
“About time,” Roan says. “We need to start planning our next step.”
“I’ve already been thinking it over, but I need to talk with Ero once he’s got a moment to spare,” Li says.
“Good luck with that.”
Twenty-Seven
Ero
The past few days have been somewhat of a dream come true, despite the obstacles along the way. I love Thor and Loki’s adventure in the giant’s kingdom, and I’d always wished I could have witnessed it myself. Perhaps the idea to use a competition to elect a new jarl was a little far-fetched, but if I had to give up my throne, I was going to have a little fun with it. Besides, it ended up working surprisingly well when it came to finding a good leader…and it kept my mind distracted from thoughts of Annalise.
With the new jarl now chosen, I’m dreading what’s coming next. Not because I’ll have to spend time with Annalise once again, but because I’ll have to find a way to restrain myself even more than before around her. I had hoped that time away would help me separate myself from her, but it’s only made me more frustrated when I’m finally alone with my thoughts at the end of the day.
Li is anxious to set out as soon as possible, and I’ve convinced a fair number of warriors to sail with us. It didn’t take much to convince most of them. They were eager for the opportunity to venture out on the sea once again. I’d sent riders out a few days ago in search of more allies to join us with instructions for those who wished to take back the meaning of what it is to be a true Viking to join me on the western shores of Scotland in a week’s time.
I’d also sent out one rider in particular, but he had yet to return, and I was losing hope that he would with each passing day.
“We can’t waste any more time here,” Li growls. “The new jarl is settling into his role, and we’ve gathered as many warriors and ships as we can. It’s time.”
“One more day,” I argue.
“There’s no reason for us to delay our departure any longer,” Roan says coldly. “Every day we’re here, we put Annalise in greater danger of being found.”
As much as I hate to admit it, Roan’s right.
“Fine, I’ll let the men know that we set sail at dawn,” I concede. I just hope I’ve done enough. Right now, I have no way of knowing how many will join us.
Roan walks out of the room, finally satisfied with my answer.
“How many ships do you think we’ll have?” Li asks.
“We have twenty of our own, and nearly a thousand men. I can’t say for sure which of the other Viking towns will send men our way.”
“It’s better than nothing,”
Li says.
My knuckles turn white as I find myself suddenly clutching the edge of the table. Before she even says a word, I can sense Annalise in the room. I force myself to stare intensely at the map, willing myself not to look at her.
“Roan says we’re setting sail in the morning,” she says. “Is it true?”
“Yes,” Li says. “You should try to get some rest, the next few days are going to be grueling.”
I can feel her eyes on me, and I want nothing more than to meet her gaze, but I have to stay strong. I can’t let her in again, for her own good.
The door bangs open and I look up as a man hurries into the room.
“My lord,” the man says with a bow. “I found her.”
I can’t keep myself from looking over at Annalise nervously. I hadn’t expected her to be present during this.
“Did she come?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Bring her in,” I say, straightening myself.
The man scurries from the room and returns a few minutes later, leading a woman and child behind him.
“Astrid,” I hear Annalise gasp quietly.
I clear my throat before addressing Astrid.
“I need to apologize for my behavior, Astrid,” I say. “I had no intention of hurting you or causing you any further burdens in life.”
Astrid snorts and crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Is that all you’ve brought me here for? An apology?”
“No, of course not. I can’t offer you much, but I’d like you to stay here, in my hometown. I can assure you that you and your daughter will be well taken care of for as long as you choose to remain with my people. I will make sure you live the rest of your lives with as little burden as possible.”
Astrid frowns for a moment before nodding her head. “I accept, but I want a dowry set aside for our daughter as well. I won’t have her going through life as I have the past ten years.”
“Done,” I say without hesitation. “Gorm will show you to your new living quarters and fill you in on the details.”
