Devin

by Dana Archer

  “Um, haven’t you realized those spirits inside your head are Devin’s cats?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Vader slammed his fist into the brick wall next to the couch over and over until blood coated it. Finally, he groaned and braced his arms against the wall. “What did he say to you? Does he want to keep you?”

  She crossed her arms. “It doesn’t matter what he wants. He doesn’t own me.”

  “That’s exactly what that mark means. He owns you. Now the only question remaining is does he want to keep you?”

  “Keep me?” Lena narrowed her eyes. “You know how I feel about shifters who want to keep me.”

  He took a threatening step forward. “This has nothing to do with us. Answer me.”

  The harsh tone compelled her to respond. “He said he wants the world to know I’m his as soon as we find Molly.”

  “Good, now I don’t have to kill him.” He sighed. “If I have to lose you, I’m glad it’ll be to a man who loves you. Maybe he’ll let me walk you down the aisle at your wedding since I was close to your dad.”

  “I’m not marrying him.”

  He dropped his gaze to her shoulder. “Sorry to be the one to tell you, but you already did, at least by shifter standards. Okay, technically, you’re at the engagement step since he hasn’t tied you to him completely yet, but you’re not getting away from a focused kitty in love. You’re his.” He nodded as if it were a done deal. “You might as well marry him. Humans like that nonsense.”

  “No.” She stood and planted her fists on her hips. “Not only no. Heck, no!”

  Vader ignored her. He walked to the bar and grabbed his cell. Realizing his intent, she ran after him. She jumped to reach the phone. He smirked and held it higher. Hopping up on the counter, he dialed. She tried climbing up his body, but he wrapped his legs around her waist, locking her in place.

  With his other hand, he snagged her wrists. She struggled until she heard a muffled greeting. Then she held her breath and stilled, as if not moving would save her. Too late for that.

  “Kade, how’s my favorite pride leader?”

  She couldn’t hear what Kade said, but Vader winked at her before he continued.

  “So, did you guys lose anything?”

  After a moment, he said, “What do I mean? Well, I’ve got this feisty little brown-eyed beauty between my legs that I was just about to enjoy…”

  Devin bellowed her name.

  Vader pulled the phone away from his ear and flashed her a shit-eating grin.

  “Don’t worry. I’m not letting her get away. She’s all yours.”

  He hung up, and she dropped her head to his chest. “I hate you, Vader. I really, really hate you.”

  Chuckling, he patted her back. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

  Chapter 18

  Like a junkie needing a fix, Devin pressed the stuffed jaguar to his nose and inhaled Lena’s scent. He dropped the stupid child’s toy on the backseat of the ’Cuda and cursed, hating his fragmented mind.

  “You doing okay?” Xander asked.

  Devin nodded, not wanting to talk, but the nagging questions kept creeping back into his mind, agitating him once more.

  “Why is Horace here? And how does he know Lena?” And why would Lena run to him? Devin kept the last question to himself. No need to draw attention to the truth—his true mate didn’t want him.

  Xander shrugged and turned in the passenger’s seat to face him. “Horace joined Shifter Affairs as an agent about thirty years ago, after Tabitha died. He obviously knows Lena’s family well through his connection to her stepfather.”

  Steven Burnett. While Devin had been with Lena, Kade had discovered that the human had retired from Shifter Affairs about six months ago. Personal reasons. Nobody had known what those were. In light of what had happened, it was easy to guess. He’d left his lifelong career to care for Molly.

  “If Horace is a friend of the family, it makes sense Lena would go to him,” Kade said.

  Devin appreciated his alpha’s attempt to calm him. It didn’t change anything. Lena had intentionally put herself in danger rather than stay with him.

  “Why did she leave me?”

  Xander rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s something you’ll have to ask her, but she probably doesn’t trust you.”

  “Probably not.” Devin steeled his spine. “She’ll learn, though. I’ll help her. It’ll just take some time.”

  Time he didn’t have, but he didn’t want to dwell on that. It’d be too easy to focus on all the dangers she’d be exposed to as a human. Anything could end her life, but he’d meant what he’d told Kade.

  Devin would prove to her he wouldn’t trap her in a relationship. Of course, shadowing her every move until she agreed to accept his immortality wouldn’t convince her of his intentions. He’d have to be subtle. Hide in the shadows or something.

  Xander raised a brow. “You do realize she’s human, right?”

  The derogatory tone set Devin on edge. He leaned forward. “Do you have a problem with that?”

  “Figured you would. You don’t exactly hold the species in high regard, any more than I do.”

  “She’s my true mate.”

  “The goddesses never intended shifters to mate humans.” He thumped his chest. “My pack’s goddess told me that. She’s even warned me away from the false lure of them.”

  “There’s nothing false about what Lena is to me. She’s my true mate. She’s bridged me and my cats. When we’re with her, we’re at peace.”

  “And what about when you’re not?”

  The memory of the elderly human with age spots walking toward him returned. Devin’s lion had wanted the man’s blood.

  He shook his head. “My situation is different. My mind is fragmented.”

  “And a true mate should fix you. Completely, Devin. Not just when you’re with her. That’s the promise of a true mate. Peace.”

  “Verna said that Lena would be able to soothe me, not heal me.”

  Xander rolled his eyes. “Witch or not, Verna is human. She doesn’t understand shifter matings or what the goddesses have proclaimed. She hasn’t spoken to one. I have.”

  Devin glanced at Kade who remained silent. The same sympathetic look he’d worn at Lena’s house was back on his face.

  Devin met Xander’s gaze. “It doesn’t matter what you or anyone else thinks. Lena is my true mate.”

  Xander sighed, his exasperation clear. “Lena isn’t your true mate. She’s just a woman who’s captured your attention. The peace you feel with her is lust. You’re focused on her. That fascination is what has brought a sense of calm near her. Nothing more.”

  Xander’s words left Devin with a sick feeling in his gut. Had he misread everything where Lena was concerned?

  No. He wouldn’t allow doubt to sway him. Lena was his one true mate. She’d brought him peace.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I do. The goddess speaks to me. She—”

  “Then she’s lying to you. Our true mates can be human. Look at Rafe. Are you going to tell me he’s not at peace?”

  “Between us, I’ll say it. Not to Rafe. He’s happy. Who am I to destroy that? But I consider you to be my brother. I won’t censor my thoughts for you. Like them or not, they’re true. I’ve had too many conversations with my pack’s goddess not to believe them. She hasn’t abandoned us like the Alexander pride’s goddess has.”

  Xander wouldn’t lie. Devin knew that, but that didn’t mean the goddess hadn’t. She’d want her Royal lineage to continue. Mating a human didn’t allow for that. The species difference prevented conception, but then again, Xander’s pack’s goddess, along with all the other goddesses who’d birthed the first Royals, wanted them to be happy. It was why they’d given all shifter males the option of tying their true mates to them for all time.

  Something about Xander’s explanation didn’t mesh. But what? And who was lying?
>
  Devin grabbed the stuffed jaguar and held it against his face again. Lena’s scent seeped into his lungs, chasing away the doubts Xander’s words had brought. “Until you meet your true mate, you won’t understand.”

  “I have. Twice. Both times, she’s been human.” Xander leveled a hard glare at him. “You know what I did?”

  “Obviously not mated her either time.”

  “You got that right. I ran as far and as fast as I could in the opposite direction. No way am I binding a human to my soul.” Xander cracked his jaw. “I’ll wait patiently until I find a shifter female who can give me everything, including peace.”

  “You’re a fool.”

  “No. I’m simply not going to settle. Those two human girls might’ve held the soul of my true mate, but they were in the wrong body. Humans are reborn. Eventually my true mate’s soul will end up in a shifter female’s body. When it does, I’ll claim her.”

  “Then you better hope she’s not claimed by another male first. It’d be karma as far as I’m concerned. And if it’s another Royal who snags her, you’ll be shit out of luck.” Devin smirked. “You’ll curse yourself eternally for letting her slip through your fingers.”

  “My goddess wouldn’t allow that to happen. She told me to be patient. I’d have everything I ever wanted if I would only wait.”

  “Yeah?” Devin raised a brow. “And you never heard a single shifter comment on how they can remember glimpses of their past lives? That it’s those memories that guide them to their true mates even if circumstances prevent them from mating.”

  Xander pressed his lips in a tight line but didn’t respond.

  “What makes you think your true mate won’t retain any memories of you?” Devin leaned forward. “And how you walked away from her just because she’d been born a human?”

  Xander cracked his jaw. “I never told her she was my true mate.”

  “What? Didn’t she sense the connection?”

  “She was human. To her it was lust.”

  Devin snorted. “You’re positive about that?”

  Xander glared at him but didn’t speak.

  “You should ask Jazz how she felt in Rafe’s presence the first time they met. From what I understand, their bond grew stronger with every moment they spent together.” Devin paused a moment, then asked, “How long did you spend with your human true mate each time?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Even if she had been a shifter, she wouldn’t have been ready to be an alpha’s mate. She was too sweet. Too soft.” Xander glanced out the car window. “Pack life is different than pride life. Strength matters. If either my mate or I show signs of weakness, I’ll be challenged for the role of alpha, and if I won’t give it up willingly, my brothers or cousins would fight me to the death for it.”

  “To save her life, you’d give up your role. You’d give up everything.” Kade caught Xander’s gaze in the rearview mirror. “You’d live for her. Literally. Anything you had to do in order to ensure her safety.”

  “Possibly.” Xander shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. A human can’t give me kids. That requirement isn’t one I can ignore.”

  “You only became alpha thirty years ago.” Devin grinned. “The math doesn’t add up, my friend, not unless you were involved with teenagers, which I know you wouldn’t have been. You met her at least once while you were merely a dominant. You could’ve mated her. Allowed one of your brothers to take over as alpha.”

  Xander whipped his head and leveled an almost crazed look at Devin. “Did you hear me when I said she was too sweet? She was the girl who hid in the shadows, only speaking when someone spoke to her. It had taken me months to get her to even look me in the eye when I talked to her. Years before she would even tell me what she enjoyed in bed. That’s not the kind of woman who’d flourish in a pack. The other females would label her weak and treat her as such.”

  “Years? You spent years with her, then walked away?” Devin shook his head. “You’re not a fool. You’re stupid.”

  “Who are you to judge me?”

  “I’m your friend, and I’m telling you, her soul will remember you. Don’t be surprised if the next time you meet her, she takes one look at you and runs.”

  “Enough.” Kade’s voice dropped between them, putting an end to the argument. “Xander’s situation has nothing to do with yours. His choices, his consequences. As your alpha, I’m concerned with you. Lena is your true mate. She’ll always be your true mate. This life. The next. The one after that. But this is the only lifetime when she’ll hold a piece of your soul.”

  Kade parked the car in the packed lot of Sandra’s Gentlemen Club, then cut the engine. “You’re not a single shifter, remember? There’re no do-overs for Royals. No rebirths. And no way for you to reclaim the piece of your soul you gave her when she dies. She’ll leave you with a permanent hole in your soul and no way to mate her again if you cross paths in another lifetime.”

  Devin slid his sunglasses on, the brown contacts long gone, then got out of the car without responding. He was done with this conversation. There was nothing more to discuss. He knew exactly what was at stake. Lena, the small female with the heart of a warrior. He would earn her love and acceptance. She would not slip through his fingers. If he failed to do so, then he deserved an eternity alone.

  Chapter 19

  Lena paced the length of Vader’s apartment. The annoying man had left the gun case in front of the elevator door so she couldn’t escape and had padlocked the door to the stairs. Hands fisted on her hips, she pivoted and glared at him.

  “If he kills me, it’s your fault!”

  Vader flashed a wicked grin and grabbed a lock of her hair. She slapped his hands away. He chuckled. “Unless you die from pleasure, killing you won’t be on his to-do list. Devin wants you back. I doubt you’ll ever get away from him after this.”

  “So you’re selling me into slavery. Thanks a lot, Vader. I thought you were my friend.”

  The naughty smile faded, replaced by a fierce look she rarely saw him wear. The tightness in his jaw kicked up her pulse. She locked her knees to avoid backing away from him. He hated when she called him ‘friend’.

  “I am. Otherwise, I would’ve run for the hills as soon as I scented a cat on you. You reek of Devin. He didn’t need to apply his scent so deeply but he did. That male is literally imprinted on your body. You’re never getting rid of him.”

  She fisted her hair so hard she was surprised chunks didn’t come out. “I don’t want him.”

  The lie slipped from her lips with ease but her heart squeezed tight. Truth was, she wanted him any way she could take him.

  “Really? Then why do you smell guilty now?”

  She scrunched her nose and took a few steps back. “You can’t know that.”

  “Yes, I can, and I do. A canine’s sense of smell is better than a cat’s.”

  She vibrated, her confusion mixing with fear. How would she ever survive without Devin? She stomped her foot—a very childish act but she didn’t care. “It’s the whole ownership ‘I’m keeping you forever’ thing that has me mad.” Or at least that was all she’d be telling Vader about. Her emotions, the fogginess in her mind, and the need to run back to Devin weren’t subjects she’d be discussing with an ex-lover.

  He reached a hand toward her, but let it fall with a sigh. “Don’t throw away a promise of forever. Love doesn’t come around often.”

  “He doesn’t love me. He lusts after me. There’s a difference.” Another lie. Another wave of guilt. While Devin hadn’t used the word ‘love’ she’d seen a similar devotion in his eyes.

  “You’re right. There is a difference, but”—Vader motioned to her shoulder—“to go to the length he did to save your life convinces me his feelings for you are deeper than a simple case of horniness.”

  Lena had explained what Devin had said about the bite—how he’d used it to share his strength with her and stop her from dying. Vader had only grunted in response.

  “It’s just
a bite.” But it wasn’t. Even Lena understood that. Devin’s touch made it come alive, spreading pure pleasure through her body.

  “No. No, it’s not. Has Devin talked to you about mating?”

  “I want the world to know you’re mine. My mate.” Devin’s words skipped through her mind, warming her from the inside out.

  “Devin was planning to hand Molly over to Colonel Malory,” she said to remind herself of why she’d left Devin to begin with. She didn’t want to talk about her feelings anymore. The confusing mix of emotions hadn’t lessened in the time she’d been separated from him. The only bonus was that without his heated gaze on her, she could lie about how she felt.

  “That’s why you left him, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” She stood straighter. “Do you blame me? Devin has proven he’ll act on his instincts when push comes to shove. I don’t know what those instincts will be once he sees Molly, but I do know he was talking about taking Molly to see some doctor. He wanted her evaluated because they might have to take drastic matters. Drastic measures! I don’t want to know what they’d be.”

  But she already knew—death or confinement.

  “And you didn’t explain how Colonel Malory was the one who betrayed her?”

  Doubt twisted her guilt at Vader’s question, along with a healthy dose of regret. She raised her chin. “I couldn’t take the chance. You warned me other shifters would fear and hate Molly. What I feel for Devin isn’t enough to convince me to risk Molly’s life.”

  “Ask him about his past. Trust me on this. Devin would never betray Molly. Or you.”

  She rubbed at her chest. Vader’s conviction rang true. “Okay, maybe I should’ve talked to him more, but it doesn’t change the fact that he plans on moving me into his house without even ask—”

  The groan of the elevator stopped her words. She retreated to a spot behind the bar. Vader shoved the heavy gun case out of the way as if it weighed next to nothing. The ding of the elevator’s arrival rang out. Heart pounding hard, she clutched the countertop.