Her mouth opened and then she closed it again.
I got nothing.
Most of the time, whether she was interrogating a werewolf, or training wet-behind-the-ears hunting recruits, she knew the exact words to say. The orders to bark or the lessons to be given, but this time she just lay there.
Say something, you fool.
But how do you say the very thing that exposes your soul? Was this how men felt when they proposed? Or when they first said they loved someone? Her heart was beating so fast and her hands grew clammy.
He chuckled. “You okay?”
He rubbed the sides of her arms. “Your heart rate just shot up like a racehorse…”
“It’s been a long day.” She wanted to smack herself. He had given her the perfect opportunity to say something suave. She could’ve turned to him, kissed his lips and said that he was the one who made her heart beat like that. That he was the one who made her feel this way each and every night.
Run with it, girl! Before you forget.
So she twisted into his arms and found his lips. She nibbled at the corners of his mouth and relished in his immediate response. It was so easy to forget about the world. By the time their lips parted, that was pretty much what happened. Every single cool phrase she had waiting in the wings vanished with the Arctic wind.
So she cupped his face. In the darkness, she could barely make out his features, only the dark circles under his eyes, but she knew he could see everything about her from the faint scars along her cheek to the knick on her ear from an attack a few years ago. Every imperfection she had was laid out for him to see. And yet, he wanted to be with her. He still cared for her, even as her human body grew frailer.
His hand ran down her hip and then rested against her stomach. She knew what was coming and stopped him.
“Not this time,” she whispered.
“I told you that you’d have no choice in this matter, Cyn.”
“I do have a choice,” she began. A lump in her throat made it hard for her to continue, but she somehow found her voice. “And I choose you. I don’t want you healing me anymore.”
His jaw twitched, and his body stiffened.
“I’m not done yet.” She reached in and kissed his cold nose. My protective little wolf.
“I love you, Kaden Windham.” She closed her eyes as her face warmed. Other than her immediate family, she’d never told a man she’d loved him before, even the man she thought she would’ve married over a year ago for a perfect picket-fence life. “I don’t want you to heal me anymore because I want to stay with you as your mate. I want you to make me what you are.”
He paused as if to consider what she was saying. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve had long enough to think about it.”
He sighed against her. “I would’ve waited years. I can still wait.”
She pushed his shoulder. “Okay, I’ve just confessed that I love you, and you’re telling me to wait?”
He cocked a devilish grin, and her heart skittered. He was so beautiful.
“I’m just saying I’m willing to wait. I’ve always been willing.” He pulled her closer until their lips met and he kissed her so fervently that she moaned from the heat he generated from her toes up to the top of her head. Her head tilted naturally into the kiss and everything that plagued her all day seemed trivial. This moment was true happiness.
Finally, she pulled them apart. “I want you to change me tonight.”
His eyebrows rose as if he hadn’t expected her to say that.
“Unless there’s some kind of prep I don’t know about?” Did he have to do some kind of mumbo jumbo or magical spell? Based on the story she remembered from Damien, Tobias bit Damien and then he transformed from a human to a werewolf.
“There’s no preparation per se. Just an alpha’s will.” His tone grew serious. “There’s no going back, though, Cyn. I can’t undo this once the process has started. There will be pain.” He ran his fingers down the side of her face. “There will always be pain.”
She shrugged. After countless hospital visits and chemotherapy, transforming into a werewolf every month seemed trivial compared to the constant pain and fear of dying.
“I can live with that. But I was kind of hoping for a free boob job with the process, too.”
“I’m not joking, Cyn.”
“I know; I am...” She paused. “It’s easier to make light of this situation so I can move toward what I will gain instead of what I will lose.”
He nodded, knowing all too well what she was letting go of if she did this. The things she tried so hard to hold onto: her humanity, her hunting clan, her brother Ty. Finding out who killed her parents and exacting her revenge.
She presented her neck to him. “Just do it now while I’m ready.”
He frowned. “I’m not a sparkling vampire.”
Her mouth formed an “oh.”
He gently took her palm. She waited for the bite, even anticipated the pain, but he kissed the spot between her thumb and index finger. A sweet brush of his lips against her skin. She sighed from the pleasure. He nibbled along the back of her hand, his heated gaze fixed on hers. All the while, his body hardened against her leg.
He was as turned on as she was.
He pressed his lips against her fingertips, kissing each one as she relaxed. She couldn’t help smiling at him. It was hard not to enjoy the warm, wet edge of his tongue as he swept it over the middle of her palm to her pulse point. Her thighs clenched when he nicked the skin near the place where her heartbeat thumped.
Then he bit her. The whole time, he’d hidden his incisors, but she briefly saw them when he withdrew from her.
The bite on her hand immediately began to throb, even after he kissed the spot.
So that’s it? she thought.
“Did it hurt?” he whispered.
Barely any pain. “Not at all.”
“Now we wait.” Instead of drawing her to him to sleep, he kissed her again. Tugged off her shirt and shorts. Nipped at the skin from her earlobe to her breasts. Each caress was done slowly, carefully placed to maximize her anticipation.
He drew his tongue from one nipple to another. A lazy lick that made her toes curl. There was no reason for him to hurry. No one would bother them tonight.
There was no place he didn’t venture. He trailed kisses along her legs, ran his tongue down the length of her back, and even tickled her feet.
When he caught her watching, he winked.
Bite? What bite?
He kept going until she was practically ready to manhandle him and ride him into the sunset.
Finally, he settled between her legs, and, with one thrust, he was inside. The burning sensation in her hand worsened with each stroke as her pleasure rose higher.
“Cyn,” he murmured from above her. His pace was agonizingly slow, but she moaned and trembled with each hard thrust. By the time she climaxed, he followed not long after.
As her breathing slowed, the honeyed feeling in her stomach churned into a painful stab from her stomach to her sternum.
***
Seeing the glow of contentment die from Cyn’s face filled Kaden with fear. The whole time he made love to her, the rising tension in her body was not only from the pleasure he gave her.
Her nostrils flared and she clenched her teeth. The waves of pain along her gut slammed into him, and all he could do was kiss her forehead and hope the process would finish quickly.
“Rapid healing is a gift,” his father used to say when Bastian did something careless and almost died. “You have no idea what gift you squander. Countless men have fallen before my feet, seeking the bite that will render them virtually immortal. None of them deserved such a gift, and, right now, you don’t either.”
Bastian hated whenever his father chastised him in such a manner, but now that Kaden held Cyn, he truly understood. Every once in a while, a patient’s life had been in his hands. With one bite, they could’ve become a werewolf and
changed the outcome. ALS patients. Terminal cancer patients.
“Shit…” Cyn held her breath for a moment as if punched in the stomach.
But not every man used such a gift wisely, and, as such, like his father, he didn’t bite a single soul with the intent of transformation. That is, until he met Cyn.
The scent of her sweat flared. He wiped the sweat away as she blinked and her body sagged.
She’d sleep soon, but, again and again, she’d stir as if experiencing a bad dream.
Each person was different, based on the extent of their strengths and weaknesses. According to his father, the process took Damien several days. For Cyn, maybe less.
Chapter 11
Forty-eight hours later, Cyn still hadn’t awakened.
As much as Kaden wanted to rest, the thunderous knock on his door couldn’t be ignored. It was nearly sunset, and the house was quiet and still. He untangled himself from Cyn and hurried to the door.
Zach had tried to stand, but Kaden pushed him back down. “Stay down.”
Before he reached the door, he knew very well who stood behind it. The scent was unmistakable. He steeled himself as he opened the door.
“Bastian,” Kaden said.
“Kaden.” His brother didn’t blink once.
“What do you want?” They were way past an invitation to kick it for casual conversation or even dinner.
He looked over Bastian. Living in the outdoors had changed his brother. Gone were the flashy expensive coats and the boots more suited to going from club to club in the city. Bastian was dressed in a brown coat, dirty jeans, and hiking boots. At least he didn’t look hungry.
“You and I have business to settle. Meet me a half mile to the west. I’ll be waiting on the frozen part of the lake.” The coldness in Bastian’s demeanor turned Kaden’s blood to ice. “If you don’t come out, I’ll come in after you.”
Bastian spun on his heel and turned his back on Kaden. The wolf within him bristled. Under his grip, he crushed the doorknob and the crumbled ceramic fell to the floor. How dare his brother do this to him? Out of all the days to have a pissing contest.
“Kaden…” Zach whispered, entering the din of Kaden’s churning anger.
The need to lash out at someone—anyone—almost overwhelmed him for a moment, but he swallowed hard and turned to Cyn’s brother. “You heard that, huh?”
“It’s kind of hard to miss that big dude. So you got a duel coming up? Should I prepare your pistol?”
“I’ll need some white powder, too. Gotta look my best.” He appreciated the bit of humor for the somber moment.
He rubbed his face. Leaving Cyn behind when she needed him the most was unacceptable. Last time when the Ceruleans attacked, she could defend herself, but today was different. “I can’t leave Cyn…”
Until she woke up, anyone could bust down the door and attack. But, if he stayed, Bastian would bring the fight here. Damned if he did leave, damned if he stayed.
“Go handle your business,” Zach said from behind him.
Kaden grunted. “Like you’re in any condition to hold down the fort.”
Zach trembled, but he managed to sit up with an effort. “I’m weak, but I can hold a gun, and it don’t take much to pull a trigger.”
The two exchanged a long look.
This is a bad idea, he tried to convey through a frown.
I got this. Zach jerked up his chin with a casual nod. Didn’t most gunshot victims make great guards?
“What’s the worst that can happen?” Zach added. “I raid your fridge and leave protein bar wrappers everywhere.”
After some thought, Kaden reluctantly nodded. He had no choice in the matter, and he didn’t expect to be gone long. A pack fight was coming, and when two men vied to be an alpha, only one of them walked away alive.
***
Cold wind from the lake stung Kaden’s eyes, but he didn’t blink as he walked with purpose to the meeting point. A bit over a mile from the house. The need to look over his shoulder nagged him already.
By the time he was halfway to where Bastian stood, a crowd was gathering not far from his brother.
Shit. Only twice in his life had he fought for the Windham pack. In those instances, he’d fought the opposer all alone. Having the curious eyes of his pack members wouldn’t be good. Who’d want to witness a man laying his hands on his brother?
No one looked at him as he passed through the crowd. Tinges of excitement surged through many. A fight was coming and the wolf within them all was eager to see blood spilled.
Naomi and a somber Sinister flanked the back. Sinister used his good arm to tap his side. So he came prepared to offer backup. Kaden subtly shook his head. Not today, man, he thought. Sinister jerked a nod.
Kaden weaved through more members until he reached Bastian. Rhys and Eva stood along the edge of the crowd. He ignored the triumphant grin on Eva’s face. No need for him to speculate where her allegiance lay. He glanced at her children. This would be their first formal pack fight. Looks of uncertainty crossed their faces and Kaden wished he could make this process easier for them. Pups needed to see real pack life, but seeing one uncle harm another was going too far.
“Was calling the other pack members necessary?” Kaden asked between clenched teeth to Bastian. A growing fury pulsed in his chest, but he held himself in check. He’d waste precious energy letting Bastian get to him. “Do they have to see this?”
No reply.
When his heartbeat settled, he found his voice. “Answer me, Bastian.”
His youngest brother smirked the whole time. “They should see their new pack leader’s victory.” Bastian shifted from one foot to the other. “You let me worry about the pack. Soon enough, you won’t have to worry about anything.”
“Don’t do this.”
Bastian laughed. “Do what? Take over the pack? That I can do. I will admit, though, the first time I tried to attack you was foolish. I should have waited for a better moment to make my move.” His smile widened. “An opportunity fell right in my lap when that hunter showed up. Using Eva’s help, I got into position and made the perfect shot. Not a fatal one, but I wounded him just enough for him to need your care.”
A murmur fluttered through the crowd, and Kaden sighed. He knew what was coming, but he couldn’t fathom that his little brother would go this far to take over the pack.
Bastian continued. “You healed her. You healed him. All the while, you grew weaker.”
That piece of shit had no interest in a fair fight.
“You’re a coward.” Kaden’s lip curled into a snarl. “I’m not surprised you couldn’t face me like a man. I guess you couldn’t do the same for me like I did for you.”
Bastian closed in on him, but didn’t touch him. “A coward? If I wasn’t merciful, you’d be full of bullet holes right now. Just like that hunter.”
“Which hunter? The one you killed that brought the Ceruleans down on us? Some alpha you’d make.”
“I’m tired of talking to you.” Bastian thrust his index finger in Kaden’s direction. “Every time I look at you I see Dad. I see that look of disappointment. Well, I won’t have to look at you anymore, since, from now on, things will be done the way I want them done.”
Kaden grabbed his brother’s finger and jerked hard to the right. The finger snapped like a tiny twig. No more bullshit. No more talking.
Bastian howled in pain and rushed Kaden with his shoulder to Kaden’s chest. They slammed hard to the ice, but the surface didn’t give. His brother’s claws dug into his neck to choke him, the broken finger hanging limp on Bastian’s hand. Kaden tucked in his legs and kicked upward. With a snarl, Bastian flew backwards, all the while ripping the skin along Kaden’s neck. Glorious air filled his lungs.
No time to celebrate, Kaden.
His brother came at him again, fists swinging. Words weren’t necessary at this point. Several clocked Kaden in the head. Dizziness swept over him, but he kept his arms up.
Others
around them shouted and barked.
“Kick that punk’s ass,” Sinister belted out.
“Kill him, Bastian!” Eva screeched.
“Tear him apart!” another yelled.
Bastian kept coming at him, snarling and snapping, almost as if he had no qualms to kill him. Blood ran down the side of his face and now he had two broken fingers. Things had gone far enough.
“Bastian, stop it!” Kaden yelled.
His brother’s claws dug into the meat of his neck as Bastian slammed him into the ice again. The faint sounds of ice cracking reached his ears. The hit sucked the breath from his lungs. His vision blurred. Damn it.
Kaden threw a hard right hook and sent his brother sprawling to the right. He didn’t give Bastian time to recover and swung at him again and again, until his knuckles hit hard against bony flesh that gave in. How much did he have to hurt Bastian to make him back down?
He threw back his fist to knock out another set of Bastian’s teeth when his brother’s eyes grew wide and the promise he made to their father kept ringing through his head: “Bastian is your responsibility. No matter what he does, it is your place to take care of him.”
So he stopped.
Then Bastian rammed his forehead against Kaden’s and split the skin along Kaden’s scalp open. Black dots popped up along his peripheral vision and a strong metallic taste slid down the back of his throat. He’d bitten his own tongue…
All round him, the pack members had steadily grown quiet. Did they see an ending to this fight that he refused to see?
Was he playing the fool?
“You keep backing down,” Bastian murmured. His grip on Kaden’s coat tightened as he drew Kaden to stand. “You keep saving someone who doesn’t want to be saved by you anymore.” Bastian’s breath was hot against his face. “You choose to not understand the truth. The moment you allowed yourself to become weak was the moment I knew you and I couldn’t live in the same world.”
So not the fool. He was just a man who needed to realize the promise to his father was no longer binding.
Bastian had made his choice.
Windham Werewolves Page 20
