“That sounds impossible.”
“It is. The purpose was to divert any possible blame down the road away from Mr. Caldweller.”
Peter was silent for a moment. “You speak Spanish, don’t you?”
“I took it in high school and college, but I’m pretty rusty.”
“Sometimes I listen to one of the Spanish TV stations to see what I can pick up.”
“Why are we talking about this?”
“Why don’t we move to Spain for a few years? I can do my work from anywhere in the world, and you can run along the beach every morning, then come back to our villa and sip fruity drinks the rest of the day.”
Roxy laughed. “I was with you until you mentioned fruity drinks as the main part of my job description.”
“Yeah, that kind of fizzled, didn’t it? Listen, we both need a break. Would you like to drive up to Alto tomorrow? It would be a chance to get away from the city.”
“Are you comparing Alto to the Spanish Mediterranean?”
“I can’t say until I see it.”
“We don’t have to go to Alto to answer that question.” Roxy stared at the glass of wine and thought about her last conversation with her father. “I assume this is part of your strategy to help me find emotional wholeness.”
“I’m not trying to fix you. But I care about every molecule in your being.”
“Now I really wish you were here,” Roxy said. “But I’d hate to waste a trip if my father isn’t going to see or talk to me.”
“Could you call him and find out?”
She took a sip of wine.
“No, I’d rather not chance it,” she said slowly. “However, we could still go so you can meet Ray and his family. Let me make sure he’s going to be in town.”
“Okay. It will be worth it just to spend a few uninterrupted hours with you in the car.”
“Not if the return trip is a nonstop therapy session.”
Corbin had a beautiful burgundy leather study Bible Kitty gave him on the first Father’s Day after Ray’s birth. At the time Corbin saw right through her agenda, and although he thanked her, the book ended up on a shelf where it had lived an orphan’s life ever since. The leather was now cracked with age like an old man’s face.
Corbin looked up fish in the concordance.
Over the next hour or so he read about loaves and fishes, nets full of fish, a gold coin in a fish’s mouth, and eating broiled fish beside the Sea of Galilee. The most interesting story was the account in John 21 about a huge catch of fish. The number caught, 153, was specifically recorded in the text, just as a proud fisherman would do. The careful attention to detail surprised Corbin. It was the type of evidence he would present to a jury to convince them a witness was telling the truth.
In the study notes to the chapter there was a reference to Simon Peter’s earlier denial of Jesus. Corbin turned back a few pages and read about the disciple’s assurance of loyalty prior to Jesus’s arrest, followed almost immediately by multiple denials that included curses. It was so raw and honest that it bolstered the credibility of what he was reading. Corbin could see it all playing out in his mind’s eye.
He returned to the fishing story and read about Peter’s restoration through repeated questions from Jesus. Simon, do you love me?
Corbin closed the book. He knew he’d been reading about events in the lives of real people. If that was true, what else about the life of Jesus deserved his attention? If Jesus knew where the fish were swimming beneath the surface of the water, was there a chance he knew about the turmoil swirling inside of Corbin’s soul and what to do about it? Could Jesus reach across the centuries and provide the present-day power Corbin needed to change?
A tingle of affirmation suddenly ran down Corbin’s spine. He wasn’t expecting a physical reaction as evidence of a spiritual reality, but given his state of mind, he couldn’t deny what he’d felt. Leaning back in his chair, he remembered Jimmy’s words about a God who could be seen and felt. Corbin breathed in as if receiving a new revelation. Then in a soft voice, he prayed the first genuine prayer of his adult life.
“Jesus, will you be the God who helps restore me to sanity?”
“Roxy and her boyfriend, Peter, are driving up tomorrow,” Ray said to Cindy when he returned to the den from the bedroom, where he’d taken the call.
The family was watching a movie and eating pizza for supper.
“Aunt Roxy has a boyfriend?” Billy looked away from the TV screen. “I didn’t think she could have a boyfriend.”
“What gave you that idea?” Cindy asked.
“Daddy said she was so bossy that no man would want to hang out with her.”
“Uh, that must have slipped out when I was upset about something,” Ray said. “It’s not the truth.”
“You talked like it was. We were at Gran’s house after the funeral, and you were talking to Mr. Jones.”
Barrett Jones was a high school classmate of Ray who knew Roxy well.
“Oh, we were talking about long ago when we were in school together. He knew I was joking.”
“He didn’t laugh.”
“Are you watching this movie?” Ray asked irritably.
“I know what happens. This is the boring part.”
Ray got up and went into the kitchen. Cindy followed him.
“After the movie is over we should help Billy fill out his application for law school,” she said. “He did a very good job of breaking down your attempt to deny what you said to Barrett. Your credibility was shot.”
“I’m not sure another lawyer is what this family needs.”
“The way he idolizes you and your father, it could happen. Did Roxy say why she’s coming?”
“She wants us to meet Peter.”
“Really?” Cindy raised her eyebrows. “That sounds serious.”
“Do you think she should run up a peace flag to Dad and invite him to dinner?”
“Dinner? Where?”
“Here, that’s what Roxy wants.”
It was Cindy’s turn to show a hint of irritation. “Did you tell her you’d need to check with me about that?”
“You know Roxy doesn’t like any of the restaurants here in Alto.”
“What does the princess want me to prepare? Did she have a suggested menu?”
“We talked about it,” Ray said, then stopped.
“And?”
Ray stepped over and started to wrap his arms around Cindy, but she pushed him away.
“Answer the question,” she said. “Hugging me at the soccer field didn’t go very well, and it’s not going to work now.”
Ray backed up. “I suggested steaks on the grill with baked potatoes, steamed broccoli, and a tossed salad. She said that was fine. I’ll cook the steaks and help out with everything else except the salad.”
“Why not the salad? You know how to cut up tomatoes and cucumbers.”
“Okay, okay. Roxy is stopping off at Parson’s butcher shop to buy the steaks, then swinging by the grocery store for the salad fixings. I think it’s also a way for her to show Peter around town.”
“Will you help straighten up the house?”
“Yes, Billy and I will do it. It’s time that boy learned how to do some deep cleaning.”
“I like the sound of that.” Cindy smiled. “Do you know where I keep the vacuum cleaner?”
“That’s a trick question.” Ray scratched his head. “It’s either in the hall closet or the room where you last used it and didn’t put it away.”
Cindy laughed. “You’re right either way. When are you going to call your father?”
Ray glanced at the clock on the microwave. “I’m almost afraid to call him. You know what he loves to do on Friday night. But maybe tonight is different.”
“Why?”
Ray checked in the den to make sure Billy was still watching the movie, then told Cindy about Corbin and AA. Her eyes widened as he talked.
“And that’s the way I left him. Pressuring him was
more likely to backfire than help, but I don’t know what he did when he left the office. At least we haven’t gotten a call that he’s in jail.”
“Do you think it’s too late to pray for him?”
Ray shrugged. “It couldn’t hurt. And if this dinner takes place, it’s going to take more than a ten-second blessing before cutting into a steak.”
Corbin spent a restless night tossed back and forth between bizarre dream scenarios without any hope of solution and the sensation of falling from a great height. When he got up to go to the bathroom, he didn’t pour himself a drink. Instead he took a sip of water from the bathroom sink. Finally, around 5:00 a.m., he fell into a fitful sleep that lasted an hour past the usual time he got up in the morning. He opened his eyes to shafts of pale light peeking around the slats of the blinds in his bedroom. Where the light struck the opposite wall there were thin bands of rainbow color at the edges of the shafts. Corbin watched them, mesmerized, until the angle of the sun shifted and the colors disappeared. Greeting the day with a rainbow in his bedroom was much better than facing a bleary-eyed hangover.
Rolling out of bed, he brewed a pot of coffee. While he watched the dark liquid drip into the pot, he wondered how he would pass the time. There were dishes in the sink that needed washing, and the interior of the duplex reflected the general sloppiness of his life. He ran hot water in the sink so the dishes could soak. Taking his coffee outside, he sat on the front stoop of the duplex. From his hilltop location he could see down the hill and across the valley. The cars and trucks on the road to Alto looked like miniature vehicles as they passed by. He sipped the coffee and watched.
His phone, which was in the shirt pocket of his pajamas, rang. Seeing his son’s name gave Corbin an idea about how he wanted to spend his day.
“Hey,” he said before Ray spoke. “Any chance I can take Billy fishing? I know we didn’t talk about it earlier, and if he has a soccer match, I’ll understand—”
“He’s going to help me clean up around the house and yard,” Ray replied. “We’re having some people over for dinner tonight, and he’s going to learn how to do more than pick up his clothes off the floor.”
“Will that take all day? Could he sneak away with me for a couple of hours? We could fish from the bank and not take the time to launch the boat.”
“Maybe, but only if you agree to eat a steak and baked potato with a group at our house this evening.”
“Who else is going to be there?”
“Roxy and Peter, her boyfriend.”
Corbin set down his coffee cup. “Why are they coming into town?”
“To see us. She’s going to show Peter around town, then end up over here around five thirty or so. We plan on eating at six thirty. If you take Billy fishing, he’ll need to be home in time to clean up. You probably don’t want to come to dinner smelling like worm guts and insect repellant either.”
“The last time I saw Roxy, the conversation didn’t go so well.”
“I know, and I believe she’d like to put that behind her.”
“Is that what she told you?”
“She wouldn’t be that humble, but I know she regrets what happened.”
Corbin looked across the valley. At that moment his resentment toward Roxy seemed the size of the cars on the road, but he knew it would swell to life size when seeing her face-to-face.
“Were you serious that I can’t take Billy fishing if I don’t come for dinner?” he asked.
“No, I think fishing is a great idea. It will help me motivate him to work hard this morning. But we really want you to come tonight.”
“Let me mull it over. How about two this afternoon to pick up Billy?”
“Yeah, that should work.”
“Okay. I might clean up my place too.”
Ray was silent for a moment. “Dad, how are you doing this morning? You sound, I don’t know, kind of different.”
Several thoughts shot through Corbin’s mind, but he wasn’t sure which one to share, or whether he could verbalize any of them.
“I’m just sitting in front of my house drinking a cup of coffee,” he said.
“Okay. See you later.” Ray paused. “I love you.”
The call ended, leaving Corbin staring at the phone in his hand.
THIRTY-FIVE
The closer Roxy and Peter got to Alto, the more uneasy she felt. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and tried to keep her focus on the road, but her mind kept drifting down paths her life had traveled years before. She thought about her mother, about growing up with Ray, about painful images of her father.
One night when she was twelve years old and couldn’t sleep, Roxy had gotten out of bed to get a drink of water in the kitchen. She noticed a light on in the den and found her father passed out on the sofa. The odd position of his body and gaping open mouth caused the thought to flash through her mind that he might be dead. She crept closer. Suddenly he snorted and opened his bloodshot eyes. He lurched forward and reached for her.
“What are you doing sneaking up on me!” he called out.
Roxy screamed and ran from the room. The following day she nervously waited for him to scold her, but when he didn’t say anything she realized he didn’t even remember—which was scary in a different way. A parent out of control is a parent who can’t be trusted.
Peter interrupted her thoughts. “Isn’t that the exit for Alto?”
Roxy swerved off the interstate, barely missing a road sign. “Sorry,” she said. “I was distracted.”
“By what?”
“I’m picking up bad memories like lost radio waves,” she said with a shudder.
“Do you want me to drive?”
“No, we’re almost there.”
As they reached the outskirts of Alto, Roxy pulled herself together and began pointing out places from her past.
“That’s my elementary school,” she said when they passed the redbrick building with the old-fashioned playground beside it.
“I bet you were the cutest girl in the whole school.”
“I was a midget with skinny legs who acted like a know-it-all.”
“Some things change, others don’t.”
Roxy laughed. Having Peter with her beat back the darkness.
They reached Willow Oak Lane. Roxy slowed at the end of the cul-de-sac. The grass had recently been cut, but there weren’t any flowers in the beds. The house looked empty because it was.
“That’s it,” she said. “My mom brought me home from the infant nursery at the hospital, and that’s where I lived until I left for college.”
Peter looked intently out the side window of the car. “Which is your room?”
“The fourth window to the right of the door.”
“Is that the window you climbed out when you were secretly meeting your boyfriend?”
“I didn’t have a boyfriend.”
Peter turned toward her. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not. I was into sports and studying in high school. I didn’t date anyone until college.” She paused. “And none of those were serious relationships.”
“Why not?”
Roxy knew what she wanted to say. She turned in the seat so Peter had her full attention.
“My father warped my view of men and soured me on guys so much that I doubted I could ever trust one. Then I met you and you’ve been methodically blowing up all the barriers I built to protect my heart.”
“And I intend to knock down others,” Peter replied, his eyes kind.
“Gently, I hope.”
“Always.”
She reached over and took his hand. “I never thought I’d bring a man to Alto, but the fact that we’re sitting here proves how much I’ve changed. I should have asked you to be here when my mom died—”
Peter waited.
“And I wish she could have met you before she passed away,” Roxy finished.
“I think sitting here with you is a lot like meeting her.”
Roxy shook her he
ad. “You’ve seen the physical similarities in the old photos at my townhome, but what’s inside me is different. If you’re brave enough, ask Ray if I’m like her. He’ll tell you the truth.”
Corbin and Billy fished from the bank at Hackburn’s Lake and caught a few bream, but nothing like the monster fish Billy hooked on their previous outing. Still, the oval, flat fish fought with every ounce of their being. One ungratefully popped Corbin in the palm of his hand with its sharp dorsal fin when he took it off the hook to release it. A few drops of blood appeared. Billy looked worried, so Corbin applied a strip of gauze, held in place by an elastic bandage.
When he took Billy home, Ray saw the bandage and immediately started asking questions.
“It’s nothing,” Corbin said.
Ray leaned in closer, and Corbin knew what he was doing. The soft feelings he’d had toward Ray after their morning phone call evaporated as fast as morning mist in the middle of a Georgia July.
“Tell him, Billy,” Corbin said. “What did I drink while we were fishing?”
“The bottled water from the bait store,” Billy answered with a puzzled look on his face. “The water wasn’t very cold, and I wish you’d bought me that fruit drink I wanted. I’ve never had that flavor—”
“Did either one of us drink anything else?” Corbin interrupted.
“No.”
“Thanks for working so hard this morning so we could go fishing,” Corbin said, rubbing the top of Billy’s head.
“Sure, Pops. Are you going to eat supper with us?”
Ray spoke. “We’re planning on it. Roxy bought plenty of steaks, and Cindy and I are set up to feed everyone.”
A House Divided Page 25
