Mariah’s spirits sank even further. So Colin also felt the need to escape. Obviously he didn’t want to be near her after having just forfeited the land he promised would be theirs alone.
She clenched her teeth as rage overtook her despair, then composed herself and turned to the happy couple with a forced smile. “I’m truly thrilled for you both. But I’m afraid I have a bit of a headache, so if you’ll please excuse me…” She hurried out of the parlor, almost crashing into Dennis’s father as he came to join the lovebirds. “Forgive me,” she blurted but kept going.
On her way up the stairs, she met Mr. Barclay descending, a huge grin broadening his mustache. She breezed past him with a polite nod.
Her anger continued to build. At the top landing, Mariah glared at Colin’s door. It was high time she gave him a piece of her mind. Marching straight for his room, she reached for the handle. But her hand froze before touching the metal. Were she to barge in and start yelling at him, she’d end up crying. And the last thing she wanted to do was bawl in front of him over this latest all-too-evident rejection of her. She’d already been humiliated beyond belief.
Blinking back stinging tears, she continued on to her and Amy’s door, only then remembering that the child was in the room. Her shoulders sagged. Taking a deep breath to fortify herself, she walked in.
Amy tossed a stuffed horse aside and jumped up from her bed. “Well? What did Poppy say?”
“He’s agreed to allow them to marry.” Surprised at her own flat tone, Mariah propped up a faint smile.
“Oh, goody. Tuck is always so much fun.”
“Indeed. Why don’t you go downstairs and congratulate them?”
The words had scarcely left her mouth before Amy charged out of the room and down the hall.
Thank goodness. Some peace at last. Without so much as a backward look, Mariah crossed to her chamber and the blessed darkness within, closing the door behind her. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks before she was halfway to her bed.
Her foot tangled in a carelessly discarded garment, and she stumbled to her knees, catching herself at the edge of the bed. She sobbed even harder. All was lost now.
Sagging against the mattress, her head drooped as she gave vent to her grief. Then she peered up through blurry eyes. “Why did this have to happen, Father? What have I done that was so bad You’d allow things to turn out this wrong? I haven’t flirted with any of the men who come here—even though You know they stared at me. Nor did I go after those young swains in Williamsburg who were oh, so willing. I’ve been trying to be good like Rose.” She searched the darkness. “Are You even there, Lord?”
Utterly bereft, Mariah collapsed in her sorrow. It was true. God didn’t care about her at all.
From somewhere deep inside, Mariah sensed a voice telling her to open her Bible at the bookmark.
The bookmark. Where had Mistress Barclay left off last Sunday and instructed her to continue with the girls? She couldn’t remember. Colin had come home then, and she’d simply forgotten the passage they’d been discussing.
Pulling herself up from the floor, she drew a handkerchief from her skirt pocket to wipe her eyes and nose, then lit her lamp. She rummaged through her stack of books till she found the leather-bound volume.
The protruding bookmark caught her eye, and she admired the delicate flowers Rose had embroidered all around its edges when she’d fashioned it as a Christmas gift years ago. Oh, Rose, if only you were here with me to hold me and love me. I’m so alone.
Dabbing at a new onslaught of tears, Mariah sank onto her bed and opened the Bible. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of her lips when it opened to the preachy book of James. Her gaze immediately was drawn to a verse in the fourth chapter:
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”
“It always comes back to that, doesn’t it, Father? Seems I’m always praying for what I want, working and trying to that end. And it always falls apart. I give up.” A new river of tears flowed like rain on a windowpane. I give up. She’d never felt so defeated in her life. Dear God, You say You want us to come humbly to You. Well then, here I am. This miserable mess I’ve made of my life and myself is Yours if You want it. From now on, whatever You want me to do or say or be, I’ll obey You. From this day forth I’m Yours to do with as You wish.
An indescribable warmth began to flow through her being, filling her, fuller and fuller, until there was no room left for pain. All pain, all angst, all her sorrow miraculously evaporated like dew in the sunshine.
God did love her after all. He loved her so much that He was hugging her from the inside out, making her new.
She picked up the Bible to read again. She wanted to know more. So much more. She flipped to the Gospel of John. Rose always said that was a good place to start.
Mariah didn’t have the slightest concept of how long she’d been reading her Bible when the outer door burst open, and excited chatter and laughter spilled in as three giggly girls returned.
Without knocking, a glowing Victoria whirled into Mariah’s chamber, followed by her sisters. “Isn’t this the most marvelous day there ever was?” Flinging her arms wide, she closed her dreamy eyes and twirled in a circle.
“Yes, dear.” Amazingly, Mariah meant it from the heart. “A most marvelous day, indeed.”
The threesome sprawled onto Mariah’s bed, all talking at once.
“Wait!” Laughing, she laid aside the Bible. “One at a time, please.”
Victoria grinned. “Me first. After all, it’s my wedding day we’re talking about.” She snagged Mariah’s hand and held it to her bosom. “And you must, you absolutely must, come with me to the dressmaker to help me choose the loveliest satin and lace. My bridal gown must be the most perfect gown ever, the envy of every girl in the colony.”
“Tell Mariah how Tuck talked Mama into having the wedding in just two months.” Heather jabbed her sister with an elbow. “He really, really wants to marry Tori.”
Mariah’s mouth gaped. “Two months! That’s an awfully short time to plan a wedding.”
“Actually,” Victoria said, “it’ll be in ten weeks. That’s when the leaves should start displaying their beautiful fall colors. Can’t you just picture the guests coming up our lane with the trees all ablaze? And what do you think about weaving autumn branches into a wedding arbor?”
Not to be outdone, Heather inserted her intentions. “Of course, I’ll be playing something airy on the flute to go with the wind rustling through the leaves. It’ll be perfect.”
Heather is turning into quite the romantic, Mariah thought with a smile.
Amy rose to her knees. “And Mama said I could go with Poppy to deliver invitations to all the neighbors.”
“Oh, yes.” Victoria tousled her kid sister’s hair. “Those to Mother’s family in Boston will have to go out in the post right away. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if some of our relatives came from such a distance? Just for my wedding?”
Laughter bubbled out of Mariah as she drew Tori into a hug. “Yes, sweet girl. It would be wonderful. And you’re quite right. This is a most marvelous day.”
Chapter 34
Colin seethed as incessant plans for Victoria’s wedding bombarded him from all directions at the breakfast table. Was there nothing else of worth in the world to discuss? The sole reason he’d come downstairs to eat with the family was to prove to them and himself that he could maneuver his way to the dining room without help. Now he regretted his stupidity.
“Mariah,” Tori gushed, “what would you think of a rich brown chiffon threaded with gold? With my golden hair and the vibrant autumn leaves, brown would be truly stunning. Can’t you just imagine?”
Mother spoke up. “Darling, we have such a short time to plan. There’s no time for ordering special fabrics. I’m afraid you’ll have to choose from the materials Mistress Henderson has available in her shop.”
“Quite right.” Mariah’s teacup clinked against the saucer as she s
et it down. “I noticed some lovely silks from India when last we were there. But rest assured, Tuck is so eager to make you his bride, your gown won’t matter. He won’t see anything beyond the love in your eyes.”
Pa harrumphed. “He’s a bit too eager, if you ask me.”
At this, all the women broke into laughter.
Et tu, Mariah? Colin grimaced and let out a disgusted breath. One would think she’d at least have the decency not to flaunt her lack of sorrow over their broken engagement in front of him.
As if oblivious to his displeasure, Mother and the girls continued parrying wedding ideas back and forth. Beside him, Mariah reached over and squeezed his hand.
He snatched it away and felt around for his fork. Picking it up, he shoveled food into his mouth, no longer caring how much fell to the table or dropped on his clothes. He just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.
After a few quick bites—each one punctuated by a feminine titter or high-pitched shriek—he shoved back his chair and got up.
“Colin, dear,” his mother said, “must you leave us so soon?”
He turned for the doorway and mentally tallied the eight paces it would take to get him there. “I have a headache.”
“Another one? How dreadful. Eldon, perhaps you should ride for the doctor this morning. I’m sure he must have some powders that could help.”
Colin shook his head. “It’s not that kind of headache.” He made a point of striding in the direction he fervently hoped would take him out of the room and not into a wall. After he managed to pass safely through the opening dividing the dining and parlor rooms, he heard Mariah’s cheerful voice.
“Ladies, I think perhaps we should temper our exuberance whenever Colin is present so we don’t upset him. Don’t you agree, Mistress Barclay?”
He paused to hear his mother’s answer. “Yes. We were quite thoughtless, carrying on so. We should be more considerate.”
Hmph. First insensitivity, and now pity? That enraged Colin all the more. He thrust a foot forward, only to realize he’d lost count and had no idea where he was. He had to resort to feeling his way the remainder of the distance to the foyer. After a few false starts, he finally felt the marble tiles beneath his shoe. Far enough. “Benjamin!”
The door to the butlery opened. “Yessuh?”
“Would you accompany me to my room? I’d like to speak to you.”
“Yessuh.” The African came to his side and clamped a big hand around Colin’s elbow.
Colin began to relax as they walked toward the staircase, and some of his ire subsided. But not all. “Please inform Eloise I’ll be taking all my meals in my room for the time being.”
He felt a slight stiffening in Benjamin’s touch. “But suh, the missus won’t be happy ’bout dat.”
“That may be, but things aren’t always to our liking, are they?”
“No suh. Dat, fo’ sure, is de truth.”
Detecting an underlying sadness in the butler’s voice, Colin realized that he, too, had just been insensitive. His blindness had cost him a good deal of his freedom, but Benjamin had never known any freedom, not from the day he was born. He gentled his tone. “Benjamin, you’ve been such a faithful servant my whole life, and I want you to know I appreciate it. If there is ever anything you want or need, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Thank goodness for Amy, Colin thought as the two of them headed down toward the stable—even if she did walk him into walls and ruts from time to time. But he was getting a bit better at navigating with the help of a cane. He just wished it was a few inches longer.
With all the preparations for the upcoming wedding, the past several days had been to his advantage. Everyone in the household was so busy rushing about, they’d pretty much left him to his own devices. After all, heaven forbid if a wedding were to take place when a speck of dust remained in the house, or a stray leaf should fall upon the perfect lawn.
His shin banged into something hard. “Oww!”
“Oops. Sorry.” Amy squeezed his hand. “I didn’t steer you over enough to pass the water trough.”
He exhaled a disgruntled breath and reached down to rub the knot he could already feel forming.
“Amy, you always need to let Colin know what’s ahead of him,” Geoff reminded her.
Colin raised his chin in greeting. “I heard you were back from delivering the horses to the Kinyons.” That was the main reason he’d come to the stable in the first place. He was eager to hear about the trip.
“Aye.” The trainer took Colin’s other elbow. “How about a cup of tea? We have a lot of catching up to do. And Amy, why don’t you go help Old Samuel? I believe he’s currying your pony right now.”
On their way to the tack room, Colin inhaled the familiar, welcoming smells of leather and oils and smiled in appreciation.
Geoff guided him to a seat, then poured tea into two mugs and sat nearby. He immediately began rattling off details about the mares that had foaled recently, which horses had been sold, and the racing times of the three fastest ones. “By the way, I took a good look at Storm this morning. He should muscle up again within the next few weeks. I don’t know yet if he’ll ever be as fast as he was before. Looks like he took a real beating during the time you were involved with the militia.”
Colin gave him a droll smile. “He’s just lucky we got back before he was served up for dinner. Our food supply was down to nothin’ by the time we reached the first settlement and could buy enough grain and meal to see us the rest of the way. But Storm has already proved himself. He’ll make a great stud.” Which brought him to the real reason he’d come to the stable. “How was your visit with the Kinyons?”
He heard Geoff stretch his legs out in front of him. “They were surprised and thrilled when I delivered the horses, but Nate Kinyon said you didn’t owe him anything. He only accepted them because you were so bent on rewarding him.”
“He’s right.” Colin nodded. “I was. It’s important to me for Nate and Rose to have them.” He paused. “What about his wife? What did you think of Rose?” He took another sip of tea.
“Hmm. I’d have to say she doesn’t have Miss Harwood’s striking beauty, but she’s comely enough. Her kind of beauty comes from inside. A God-given goodness, you might say. It’s hard not to look at her and admire her.”
Colin cocked his head to one side. “I’m sure you’re right. And to think I could’ve bid on her that day, instead of a—”
“Aye.” Geoff took a last gulp of tea and set down his mug. “But Kinyon mentioned that his wife believed her sister had grown up a lot since she’s been here with your family, considering she was a rather fickle, feckless girl in her younger days.”
“More of an opportunist, I’d say,” Colin said wryly. “Nevertheless, Mariah was actually quite put out when I ended our betrothal.” For some reason, it was important that people knew it was he, not Mariah, who ended the engagement.
“I’d imagine it must be hard having her in the house with you now. You might consider solving that problem by giving her her freedom.”
Colin grunted. “That’s been done.”
“You don’t say. Then why is she still here?”
A smirk played across Colin’s mouth. “I believe she thinks she’ll eventually wear me down. But that’s not gonna happen.”
Geoffrey didn’t respond right away. Colin could hear him toying with the empty cup. “Now that you mention it, I don’t mind telling you I’ve had my own doubts about her sincerity. While you were away in England, she would glide herself down here in those expensive clothes of hers, asking me all manner of theological questions. But once you returned so eager to see her, she never again came flattering me with her sweet smile to ask my learned opinion about some Bible passage.”
This information concerning his devious wench niggled at Colin, but he refused to be affected by it. After all, hadn’t he made some promises to the Lord, of late? “I’d be interested in some friendly theological debates myself. I’
ll hog-tie Amy to keep her put long enough for her to read some scripture to me. What book would you suggest we start with?”
“Colin? You in there?” Tuck’s voice floated toward him from outside.
“Yes. Come on in.” He noticed the glow from the doorway darken with a shadowy specter as his friend entered the tack room.
“I brought Duchess.” A furry head slid onto Colin’s knee.
Having already detected the characteristic panting of the friendly dog, Colin scratched the collie behind her ears. “How ya doin’, old girl?”
“Have a seat,” Geoff offered.
“Thanks.” The other end of the bench complained as Tuck sat down. “Mom an’ me was laughin’ last night about the way Duchess used to herd my little brother Sam away from the outside fires, horses an’ carriages when he was little. That dog’s always been a great natural herder. And the thought came to us she might be a sight better than Amy at walkin’ with you, Col. You could keep Duchess on a short leash, right beside you.”
Colin arched his brows, considering the offer. “It’s worth a try. You sure you don’t mind loanin’ her to me?”
Tuck responded with a chuckle. “She’d probably be happy to escape Sammy. The kid’s gettin’ too big to ride her anymore, but he keeps tryin’ anyway.”
“Hi, Tuck. Hi, Duchess,” Amy said out of the blue. Colin hadn’t even heard her come in. “I heard what y’all were just talkin’ about.”
That didn’t surprise Colin. She never missed anything—except telling him about that water trough, of course. His shin still throbbed.
“You mean about Sammy tryin’ to ride the dog?” Tuck asked.
“Uh-huh. And I got a splendid idea. How about we swap my pony for Duchess?”
Colin tucked his chin. Were all girls fickle? “I thought you loved Patches.”
“I do. I love him a whole lot. He’s been the bestest. But I’m growin’ up, and it’s time I had a real horse, not just a pony.”
Daughters of Harwood House Trilogy : Three Romances Tell the Saga of Sisters Sold into Indentured Service (9781630586140) Page 60
