by B. N. Toler
“You really did care for her, didn’t you?”
“She was a very…unexpected friend.”
A tear slides down my cheek. I want to ask her more questions about my mother, but she continues with her previous story.
“The girls are obviously going to be used for reproducing as soon as they reach child bearing years.”
“Doesn’t that start at like twelve?” I ask appalled.
“For humans, yes. But they wait until sixteen because the girls need to be fully developed in their gift to pass on the healer gene.”
“Sixteen,” I gasp. Those poor girls.
“It’s disgusting,” she agrees.
My throat burns as anger swells in my chest. I hate this feeling of powerlessness; this need to do something, but having no idea how to go about doing anything. “Why don’t these girls rebel, or stop it?”
“They’re brain washed. They think it’s their purpose. It’s what they’re taught.”
“So what about the males? They just rape these girls and are allowed to leave?”
“They are required to provide a minimum of three offspring. After that, they can opt to be turned or they can stay and provide for feedings, and in some cases, they are allowed to leave.”
“It’s so sick,” I say in disbelief. “You said we have other siblings?”
“There were two males and two females born in the years prior to your birth. Your mother miscarried her first pregnancy, but completed her quota when she delivered triplets. That year, the other two women gave birth to their third child and were also disposed of, but that was after I had left with you and your brothers.”
“Do you think any of them are still alive?” I ask trying to imagine what my half-siblings might look like.
“Very unlikely for the females, but there’s always the chance they were turned. Your gift might have passed through your father’s genes and maybe they got it, too. The males, I would wager, are still alive, but I don’t know.” We sit in silence for a minute. Sarah eyes me as she leans in and in a low voice says, “You are so much stronger than you think. Follow your instincts. It will take you exactly where you need to be.”
I look at her and wonder if she’s just speaking in general or if she somehow knows what I’ve been planning. “I know,” I agree, unsure of what else to say. “Is there anything else I should know Sarah?”
Something flickers in her eyes, but vanishes quickly. “No,” she answers plainly, darting her eyes away. I know she’s lying. “Thank you for whatever you said to Whit.”
“He was upset.”
“I know, he told me,” she nods.
“I didn’t tell him what happened to you, Sarah, because you should. He deserves to know.”
“I will, when I’m ready.” She stands and walks inside.
As soon as I stand, it hits me. Did Sarah just say thank you to me?
“What’s it like, Rhett?” I ask when we’re alone in bed. The room is dark as we lay tangled in one another, my legs intertwined with his in a mess of sheets. Rhett has slept with me every night since I woke up, but we agreed to wait a while before having sex—actually he insisted and I pouted. We have fooled around some, but Rhett always stops, saying he wants to wait for the right time. I could easily accept that if we could use my dreams as we did right before I woke up, but he says he wants to wait, period.
“What?” he asks.
“Being a blood healer.”
“You mean a monster?” he jokes. When Rhett kidnapped me in my dream world, I called him a monster, before I knew how amazing he was, and he’s never let me forget it.
“I mean, you say you like it, but why?”
“Well, I’m stronger. I’ve told you that, but it’s not just healing. I’m stronger physically, I’m faster, and I’m less afraid.”
I roll on my side, so my chin rests on his chest. The room is dimly lit by moonlight, but it’s just enough that I can make out the features of his face. He runs his hand over my head and I close my eyes enjoying how soothing it is.
“So you’re fearless now?” I ask.
“Maybe I was for a long time, but now I’m afraid of things. Not as many things as I was when I was human.”
“What are you afraid of now?” I push myself up so that I am resting on my elbows beside him. He puts one of his hands behind his head, and I lean in and kiss his stomach, my warm lips to his cool skin. He smiles and I melt; his smile always weakens me. I fall victim to it at every turn.
“It was only Sarah and me for a long time. We were good at staying out of sight, hiding and such.”
“And now?” I question.
“Well, now there's you guys. You need protecting.”
“We can take care of ourselves, Rhett. You and Sarah don’t need to feel responsible for us.” My voice cracks with emotion against my will and I sit up, frustrated. Lucy spent her life protecting us, only to die a horrendous death. I don’t want anyone feeling like they have to protect me ever again.
“Hey,” Rhett sits up and wraps his arm around me. “Aldo, I’m in love with you. Like it or not, I’m going to protect you. It’s what a man does when he loves a woman. I may not be human, technically, but I don’t think that changes regardless of what I am.” He kisses my shoulder. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, Aldo. I failed the people I loved once, it will never happen again.” He squeezes me gently, and my heart aches with his words. He carries so much pain and guilt.
“Are you talking about your mother and Sarah?” I question. “That wasn’t your fault, Rhett.” I pull up and sit on my knees so I can see him better.
“Yes, it was. It’s something I never want to go through ever again.”
My inner self crosses her arms and shakes her head at me, knowing I’m plotting to leave Rhett behind to seek revenge. I quickly slap her down, scolding her. “Rhett, don’t carry that burden. You don’t have to feel like you’re responsible for our safety. It’s too much.”
“Not for me,” he says.
“I just don’t want us to burden you.”
“I’m sorry if that’s how I made it sound, but that isn’t how I meant it. You guys are the best thing to happen to us. I mean forget about how immensely happy you make me, look at Sarah. Your brother has changed her and I truly never imagined that could happen.” Rhett pulls me back down so that I’m lying on him with his arms wrapped around me. “Don’t ever think you’re a burden,” he whispers.
“Rhett.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think I should turn?” My conversation with Whit about what kind of future I could have with Rhett has been weighing on my mind.
His body tenses. “Is that what you want?”
I sit back up so I can look at him. “I mean at some point I will, right?” As long as I survive trying to take down a nest of vampires and you forgive me for leaving you.
“No, not necessarily.”
“But I’ll just keep getting old and you won’t.”
“I’ll stay with you no matter what.”
“Yeah, but—”
“I think we should talk about this another time. You have so much time. There’s no rush.” I lie my head back down on his bare chest enjoying the vibrations of his energy.
“Did you ever want children? Ya know, before you were—”
“Do you want children?” He interrupts me, his body tensing.
Oh no! He flipped this around. “I don’t think so,” I stutter. I remember Thomas asking me if I wanted children, and how shocked he was when I said no. I’ve never really thought about children until my conversation with Whit the other day. I don’t think I want children, but not having the option seems hard to swallow.
“I wanted kids when I was human,” Rhett answers and I can hear a slight sadness in his voice.
“You would have been an excellent father, Rhett.” I trace a circle on his stomach with my finger.
“It’s not a safe world for healers. It seems unfair, in some ways to bring a child into the
world.”
“Have you ever thought about trying to destroy the nest?”
“What do you mean?” His body stiffens again.
“Just that if they were destroyed, then there would be less fear, right?”
“It’s too dangerous. There’s no way to do it without hurting a lot of innocent people.”
“Like bystanders?” I ask confused, starting to grow sleepy.
“Yes.” Rhett strokes my head softly with his hand.
“But destroying the nest would save a lot of innocent people, too,” I argue as I yawn.
“It would be suicide,” his voice is stern. His gentle stroke stops and I feel his hand tense where it rests on my head.
“But maybe—”
“Enough Aldo!” he snaps. “Where is this coming from?” he growls and I’m immediately snapped out of my slumber by the tone of his voice.
“Nowhere,” I answer defensively, struggling to control my heartbeat, hiding any indication of my deception.
“Why are you trying to stop your heart from racing?” he asks sending my heartbeat into a full-fledged marathon.
“I wasn’t,” I lie, no longer able to stop my reaction.
Pushing me up, he looks me in my eyes. His face is statuesque, all softness gone, leaving only anger—maybe fear? “Tell me what’s going on!” he demands.
“Nothing,” I stutter, completely thrown by his reaction.
“Don’t lie to me!” Immediately, his eyes fall to my necklace. The elephant in the room.
“I’m not,” I say, wondering if I should feel frightened. How did he know I was controlling my heartbeat? Has he always known?
His eyes remain fixed on my necklace and he opens his mouth as if he may speak. My heart lurches as I watch him. As of yet, he hasn’t asked about the necklace, but this might be the moment he does. What will I say? He pulls me into his embrace and hugs me tightly. “I’m sorry,” he sighs and I can feel the tension in his body ease.
Wrapping my arms around him, I try to comfort him. I know this comes from a darker place; the loss of his mother, the demise of the former sweet and innocent Sarah, and the scarlet letter of blame he has worn since. My mind wanders to what will happen to him if my plan fails. What if I’m taken and killed? What will happen to Rhett? My plan could hurt Rhett if I fail, but if I succeed, it could free him. If the nest were destroyed, he wouldn’t be burdened with me or feel like he has to hide me to protect me. No matter what, I now know for sure I cannot discuss anything about the nest with Rhett. Any information I get, will have to be found on my own.
Kissing his forehead I whisper, “It’s okay, Rhett. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He lies back down, pulling me with him, and I resume my original position, my head on his bare chest.
“It’s impossible, Aldo,” he whispers as I yawn again. “Go to sleep, sweets. You’re safe. I’ll never let anything happen to you.” As I drift off, I know he’s telling the truth. Rhett would always protect me, but with that he would carry a huge burden and that’s not something I can bare. I don’t want to hide. I don’t want to be held back. I will do whatever I have to, to destroy the nest. Even if it means I risk losing Rhett.
Rhett left three days ago for Pennsylvania to sign papers on the sale of one of his houses. Rhett invested very well in real estate and has made a very lucrative living. He also left to collect blood for him and Sarah. He has a connection at a local blood bank that gives him bags of blood. The bags aren’t filled up all the way. Some people donate blood, and right before the bag is filled all of the way, their vein may collapse, or they might pass out. The blood is kept for testing in these situations, not to be donated. These are the bags Rhett gets.
He begged me to go with him, but I opted to stay, telling him I really didn’t feel like traveling. He agreed as long as Sarah was present to ‘watch out’ for me. The truth is I haven’t had a lot of time to just think since I’ve woken up.
Of course, he has visited my dreams every night since he left. Last night I tried to make a move on him, and we ended up arguing. I can’t understand why he refuses to touch me that way. Our sexual encounters have been limited to heavy petting because he refuses to go any farther. My body is literally aching for him. Every time he rejects me, my self-confidence plummets. If he loves me, and really wants me, why won’t he make love to me?
I sit at my desk, listless, twisting my necklace against my chest as I stare at the wall. My conversation with Sarah on the porch the other night has been nagging at me. Something she said really hit close to home. You don’t even know what you are. Lucy spoke the same words to me right before I woke up from my yearlong coma. Does Sarah know something about me? Does Rhett know, too, and that’s what I overheard them discussing when I first woke up?
On top of that, there was an incident in the kitchen with Sarah last night that has been plaguing me all day. I got up to get a bottle of water in the middle of the night, and when I opened the fridge I saw Sarah’s bags of blood sitting on the top shelf. Without thinking, I picked one up and my mouth watered as I moved it around watching the blood flow back and forth in the bag. I don’t know how long I stood there, battling myself not to open it and drink it before I felt a presence in the kitchen and turned to find Sarah staring at me.
“Are you okay?” She quirked an eyebrow. Her question threw me off guard. I would have expected her to be angry for touching her blood, or even tease me, but she seemed to regard me with caution.
“Um, yeah.” I shook my head and placed the bag back on the shelf. “Just getting some water.” I closed the fridge and turned to leave.
“Aldo.”
“Yeah?” I turned back to face her.
“You forgot the water.”
My face flushed and I rushed back to the fridge. “Wow, I’m so out of it.” I tried to play it off like I was tired.
Sarah just watched me as I clumsily made my way out of the kitchen.
Yes, the moment with Sarah was awkward, to say the least. Who knows what she thinks about it. One would think it would be the center of my thoughts today, but it’s not. All I can think about is the blood. I crave it. I’m disgusted with myself, but God help me, I can’t stop thinking about it. I have no idea why. I’ve never tasted blood; I’m human. What would bring this on? In my dream world, Rhett drank a bag of blood in front of me, and my mouth watered as I watched him, but I dismissed it.
In an attempt to stop myself from fantasizing about the taste of blood, I try hard to clear my mind and focus on my plans. I have to leave soon, but I have no idea how to lock Rhett out of my dreams. He’s always there. He rarely sleeps, and to walk a dream he has to be awake. I’ll just have to take off and figure out the rest later. I have to go. I’ve decided to leave within the next two weeks; hoping an opportunity will show its head.
Suddenly, someone strokes my hair and I jump. I look up to find Rhett staring at my necklace, which is still knotted in my hand. I quickly tuck it away and stand excitedly to greet him.
“You’re back,” I smile. “I missed you.”
His greeting is off at first, but he quickly transitions.
“Let’s go out today,” he smiles as he kisses me softly.
“Really?” I question, surprised. We rarely go out because he’s so paranoid we’ll be found somehow.
“Yeah.”
“Where to?” I bounce on my feet excitedly.
“I don’t know, wherever the wind takes us.”
So we head out for a day on the town. I let him drive the yellow Beast—or more like make him drive it. We still have it; we didn’t leave it in Kentucky, like in my dream. Luckily Rhett is pretty handy in the mechanical department and fixed it so it doesn’t backfire anymore. Rhett hates the Beast, but I like watching him drive it. He bought two other cars for all of us, but the Beast holds a special place in my heart, and I won’t let him sell it. He looks so at peace when he drives, like an average guy, cruising around with the wind in his perfect dark hair. We spend the day taking a walk in t
he park. He takes me to lunch at a local café, and then we hit up a local matinee playing old movies. The feature film: Gone with the Wind.
The day is perfect, just the two of us spending time together like two normal people on a date would. On our way back to the house something occurs to me.
“What’s wrong?” Rhett squeezes my hand he’s been holding in his lap, noting my expression.
“This is the first date I’ve ever been on.” We had been out since I woke up, but it was always with everyone else, never just the two of us.
“Really?” he smiles softly, and I can tell he likes the thought of it.
“I mean, not counting prom, but that was a group thing and I was only friends with Wyatt.” My mind drifts back to that night, but all that seems to surface is Thomas making an appearance and draining my date. It was less than twenty-four hours later when my aunt was murdered.
Without thinking, I press my hand to my chest, feeling the rectangle under my shirt. I will get revenge. I must get revenge.
“You okay?” Rhett asks again.
“Yeah.” I clear my throat realizing my eyes are teary.
“What about our pizza night at the farmhouse?”
In my dream world, after a night of drunken skinny-dipping, Rhett and I ate pizza while watching “Gone with the Wind,” the movie by which he was named.
“That doesn’t count,” I say dryly.
“Why not?” he laughs.
“Because, number one, I thought you had kidnapped me, and two, I almost ate an entire pizza, and three, it was in my dreams, not the real world.”
“What does you eating an entire pizza have to do with it?”
“Almost an entire pizza,” I correct him, “and it has everything to do with it because if it had been a real date I would’ve eaten like a bird, not like a sumo wrestler.”
He laughs as he pulls the Beast into the driveway. “Baby, I’ve seen you eat in both worlds. There’s not much difference.”
