by B. N. Toler
Images of Daniel from my fantasy keep flashing through my mind. This is so unhealthy. Is this like some kind of student/teacher crush? On top of that, there’s the guilt for those images. No matter what happens with Rhett, I still love him. Nothing can change that. Yes, he betrayed me, but he also saved me. Even so, I am full throttle lusting for Daniel. I know I’m horrible for it, but I can’t help it. I hate it!
On the flip side, being with my fellow hybrids has been great. I honestly adore Eileen and Flynn. Daniel is on my to-be-determined list and Bridge is on my shit list. Cassia and Nick are amazing. It really does feel like a family here. I push that thought away. I have a family. My real family. I have two brothers, a sister-in-law and a nephew. I need to get back to them. I need Daniel to teach me how to be my best, and when I am, I will leave this place and set out on my own. I will not be at Daniel’s beck and call. I also need to find Thomas. Handling him will be much easier than I thought, now that I’m stronger.
I walk for hours, kicking the sand, enjoying the sound of the waves. Just before dawn I enter the house through the back door and climb the stairs to the top so I can grab a glass of water, some Ibuprofen, and a bagel, before I hit the sack. Pausing at the top of the stairs, my eyes scan the room. Sofa cushions are scattered across the room, empty beer bottles lay on the floor and coffee table, and the dining room table is tipped over. What the hell? They must have come back last night and thrown down. Looks like I missed one hell of a party. I tiptoe over the debris and turn on the kitchen light. I grab a bottled water out of the fridge and as I close the door I’m startled by Flynn.
“Thank God you’re okay.” He grabs me and hugs me tightly.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I ask as he pulls away.
“Dude, I’m all for women being independent and shit, but what’s wrong with you? Why would you leave a club, by yourself, in the middle of the night?”
“You guys were having a good time. I didn’t want to spoil it by making you leave. Plus, I’m a hybrid. I figured it was safe.”
He heaves a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Eileen just passed out. She’s been crying all night.”
“What? Why?”
“Daniel is pissed. He went on a bender and tore this place apart. Cassia and Nick left and went to a hotel. It was bad.”
“He was pissed because I walked home?”
“Yes.” Flynn and I snap our heads to Daniel standing in the doorway of his bedroom. His hair is disheveled, he’s wearing the same shirt from last night, and his jeans are unbuttoned, hanging slightly off his hips. Stubble covers his face, but it’s his eyes that set off alarms in my head. They are the darkest shade of gray I’ve ever seen; almost black.
“Where the fuck have you been?” he growls.
Flynn’s eyes dart back to me.
“I walked home and to the beach. It t-took me a while,” I stammer, a little unsure of whether to be angry at him for being pissed or be scared.
“Jesus Christ, you really are simple! Do you want to get attacked or raped?”
My blood runs hot, and I take a deep breath. Guess I’ll go with anger. “Flynn, would you excuse us please?”
Flynn’s eyes dart back to Daniel. “Maybe I should—”
“Get the fuck out of here, Flynn,” Daniel growls, his eyes still fixed on me.
“Hey, you’re pissed at me. Don’t be a dick to him!” I snap.
“Leave. Now,” Daniel growls at Flynn.
“It’s okay.” I nod at Flynn who is looking at me like he’s scared for my life. I can’t deny the way Daniel is looking at me, I’m scared too, but apparently Flynn and Eileen have caught the wrath of Daniel over my decision to walk home. I need to rectify that. If Daniel wants to rake someone over the coals, it should be me.
“I’ll be in our room if you need me.” Flynn makes his way past Daniel’s bedroom door and down the stairs.
I turn and pull the Ibuprofen out of the cabinet above the stove. I open the bottle, my hands shaking, before dumping three in my hand and popping them in my mouth. I refuse to look at Daniel as I open my bottled water and take a swig. I’ve barely swallowed the pills when the bottle is knocked from my hand and water splashes my face. I’m slammed down to the kitchen floor and Daniel straddles me, holding my wrists above my head with one hand.
“St—stop!” I cry out.
Daniel’s other hand reaches down and tears my shirt open with such ease, as if it’s made of tissue paper. My heart drops to my stomach as panic runs through me. Is he going to rape me? His hand works fast unbuttoning my pants and I cry out, kicking my feet, as I try to wrench my wrists free from his grip.
“If you want me off of you, make me get off of you.” Daniel laughs and I realize—he’s a monster. This man I’ve been fantasizing about is a monster.
“D-d-don’t,” I beg as tears stream down my face, and I continue to twist and flail with no success in escaping.
“You’re a ‘hybrid,’” he mocks. “You can take care of yourself. So fucking make me get off of you,” he growls as if my failure to buck him off angers him more.
I scream as the pounding of footsteps approach. Eileen shrieks when she walks in the kitchen and sees Daniel on top of me.
“Daniel, stop!” Eileen cries and moves to touch him, but his fangs erupt and he hisses at her.
“You fucking touch me, and you’ll be sorry.”
Flynn grabs Eileen, his lips peeled back exposing his fangs, his choleric glare focused on Daniel.
“Hold her back, Flynn.”
“Stay back, Eileen,” Flynn growls.
“But she’s—”
“Stay back!” Flynn roars at her and Eileen backs away, her hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her face.
I continue to scream out, catching glimpses of Flynn and Eileen watching Daniel as he pulls my pants down with horrified looks on their faces. I cry out to them, “Please help me.” Flynn moves his hand to Eileen warning her not to budge.
“Daniel, please stop,” Eileen begs through sobs.
Flynn stares down at us, fists balled up at his sides. I can tell it’s killing him not to intervene; to stop Daniel. He would if he could.
That’s when it hits me. If they can’t stop Daniel, how can I? Daniel’s hand gropes my bare hip. I can’t stop this. Suddenly, I feel deflated, conquered. Not fighting is my only option. If I stop fighting, at least it will be over with faster. I let my body go limp and let my mind go blank. I’m going to be raped right here on the kitchen floor in front of witnesses.
Daniel stops his groping and looks down at me. “Giving up?” He quirks an eyebrow. His forehead glistens with sweat and every muscle in his shoulders and arms are tensed, bulging as he holds me down.
I look away from him. I can’t look at him.
“So, you’re going to lie down and get fucked? Just giving up, huh?”
“You only like fucking if the girl is fighting you the entire time?” I hiss as I cut my eyes at him. If looks could kill, he’d be dead right now.
Daniel releases my hands and the room is silent with the exception of Daniel’s and my heavy breathing and Eileen’s sniffles.
“Leave us,” Daniel orders.
“Let her go—”
Daniel’s gaze snaps to Eileen. “We’ve known each other for over eighty years, Eileen. Have you ever seen me hurt a woman, let alone rape one?” His tone carries the hint of hurt, as if he can’t believe she would think this about him in spite of what she just witnessed.
“No,” she answers after a pause. “But what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m teaching her that just because she’s a hybrid, doesn’t mean she can fight off all of the wolves.”
“Come on, Eileen.” Flynn shakes his head and grabs Eileen and ushers her out and down the stairs.
“This was you trying to make a point to me?” I ask in disbelief.
“You’re like a child. It’s like I can only use extreme measures to teach you anything.”
&nbs
p; I stare up at him, my mind fumbling. He’s insane.
Daniel still straddles me and my chest heaves up and down. His eyes run down my chest, staring at my lacy black bra covering my breasts, down to my lacy black underwear. I quickly grab the sides of my shirt and pull them over me as Daniel remains straddled on my thighs.
Finally, he stands and stumbles over me into the living room.
I wiggle my pants up before I force myself to my feet and stand holding the sides of my shirt over my chest. Shivers run through me and my legs feel like limp spaghetti, but I lock my knees to keep myself standing. The thunderous beat of my heart drowns out the various emotions I’m feeling. Anger, humiliation, fear and oddly, I feel humbled. Daniel was trying to make a point. His little let me act like I’m going to rape you bit was his way of showing me I’m nowhere near as tough as I think I am. I’m weak. Little does he know, I’m well aware of that fact. I have the memory of a yearlong coma where I dreamed up a fake existence to remind me of my weakness. Just because I know I’m weak, doesn’t mean I accept it. Last night, walking home didn’t seem like a big deal, but I guess it was. It wasn’t my brightest move, I’ll admit. Did it warrant Daniel’s behavior? No, but I definitely got his point.
Daniel runs his hands through his disheveled hair before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. He faces the windows overlooking the balcony, his shoulders hunched as he crosses his arms, and a puff of smoke emerges over him. “Do you remember what I told you the day you came with me?”
I don’t answer. I’m just not ready to speak to him yet.
“I told you if you came with me, you were making the decision to trust me to make you the best, even when you think I’m an asshole and you hate me.” He takes another drag of his cigarette before exhaling a long stream of smoke. “You may hate me right now, but did I make my point?
“You really think I’m an idiot, don’t you?” My voice is shaky as I speak the words.
He doesn’t answer for a moment, but eventually says, “I think you have great potential. You’re just way too eager. You think just because you’re a hybrid that makes you invincible.”
“Was this your way of bringing me down a notch?”
“As if that’s possible,” he snorts. “I need something from you.”
“What?”
“I need you to focus on the here and now. Focus on what I can teach you. I know you’re hungry for revenge, but—”
“I’m weak.” Feels like the story of my life. I’m thankful Daniel doesn’t know how weak I really am, like hide-in-my-subconscious weak.
“You’re getting stronger every day, but you need more time. Until then, please listen to me. Don’t wonder off on your own down dark streets. I thought you would’ve learned that by now.”
“Since you asked so nicely.”
“I told you I wouldn’t coddle you.”
I snort. “After what just happened, I can see you’re a man of your word.”
“I won’t apologize.”
Big surprise. “Of course not.”
“You think I should?”
Uh, yes. “Like you care what I think.”
“No, I don’t.” His tone is genuine. “Not when it comes to protecting you.”
“You said my training will take a year?”
“More or less. That depends entirely on you.”
“So I’m waiting until you deem me worthy?”
“More or less.”
“Awesome.”
“Isn’t it?”
“When will you teach me to hypnotize or whatever you call it?”
“When I think you’re ready.”
I stare at his back a moment longer. Dawn is breaking and the first rays of sun are beginning to shine through the windows. Daniel looks at odds with the beautiful beams of golden light blazing in. It’s like the sun seeks to penetrate through him, but he refuses to let it, remaining a blunt, dark obstacle in its path and I wonder is there anything that could break him down. His power goes beyond my comprehension. Lucy never told me there were healers like him that could draw energy from nature. Forcing myself to move, I clear my throat and begin to step over the debris on the floor and make my way to the stairs.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks in a deep, husky voice laced with what sounds like regret, although he’d never admit it.
I think about how horrible what he just did was. It was cruel and a normal woman might feel completely violated right now. But something Lucy used to say to me comes to mind. “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,” I say it softly. So fitting in this moment. I descend down the stairs wondering how I can respect Daniel for what he just did and hate him for it all at the same time. It’s funny. He said to trust him even when I think he’s an asshole. I think it’s safe to say I feel that way right now.
For the next month I’m put through what I’d call the equivalent of military boot camp. Flynn wakes me every morning at five to run twenty miles on the beach. No, I’m not kidding. Twenty miles. First of all, let me just say that being a hybrid in no way makes physical exertion easier. I puked every morning for the first week. My early afternoons are spent with Nick learning self-defense techniques, basically mixed martial arts, and the other part of my afternoons are spent with Eileen learning the art of seduction, also known as attracting prey. Basically she’s trying to teach an awkward girl how to be flirtatious in a sophisticated way. Evenings are spent with Cassia, learning how to cook. I’m not really sure why I need to know how to cook, but I enjoy the time with her. Thank the Lord that Bridge went out of town on an assignment and I haven’t had to deal with him. No one will tell me what assignment he was sent on or what an assignment is. Apparently I haven’t reached that level of security clearance yet. Daniel has pretty much avoided me since the night he attacked me, or as he would most likely call it—taught me a lesson. We pass each other in the house and eat dinner together, but there’s been no one-on-one time. There’s an odd tension between us. For me, it’s sexual mixed with fear and caution; for him—who knows. We haven’t gone out clubbing or dancing since that night and honestly, I’ve enjoyed the time at the house. We play games and watch movies in the evenings, of course, that’s if I’m not too exhausted and don’t pass out. Nick has brought me bags of blood which have kept me fueled, and I’m grateful. After the experience with Marcus, in the restroom at Avery’s, where I almost killed him, I’m not too keen on feeding on humans again.
Tonight, we’re all seated at the dinner table, and Bridge has just returned from his ‘assignment’ so everyone is at dinner. Cassia looks like a mother whose children have all returned home for Sunday supper.
“Have some more chicken.” Cassia tries to hold the large serving dish in front of Daniel.
“I’m full, Mama.” He cracks a smile at her and I can’t help but notice it’s a smile he only shares with her. I think Daniel really does think of Cassia as his mother and only a mother could get a smile like that from her boy. I wonder what happened to his real mother.
“You don’t eat enough.” She sets the plate back down and pouts.
“I’ll eat some more, Mama.” Bridge takes the dish and shovels more on his plate.
“Would you like some, Aldo?” Bridge holds the dish out to me.
“No, thank you. I’m stuffed.”
“Yeah, she ate like two boxes of macaroni and cheese for lunch this afternoon.” Flynn nudges me with his shoulder.
“I did not!” I scoff.
“Okay, maybe just one,” he corrects himself.
“That’s better.” I nod approvingly. “All the running and martial arts makes me hungry,” I say defensively.
“That’s how she keeps all of her junk in the trunk,” Eileen smirks.
“Are you saying I have a big ass?” I scoff.
“Yes, but you rock it. I wish my butt was bigger.”
“Okay, so it’s not the running. I’m just trying to maintain an adequate posterior,” I chide.
“Can we stop talking about ass
es?” Flynn asks. “It’s getting me all worked up.” He bites his lip and flexes his brows at Eileen.
“Yes, I guess we better.” Eileen giggles as their eyes meet. Sexual tension crackles in the air and my eyes dart to Daniel who is staring directly at me.
I jerk my eyes away immediately.
Eileen clears her throat. “What was it we were talking about?”
“How Aldo ate two boxes of mac and cheese today,” Flynn reminds her.
“Or, rather, how I ate one,” I correct him. “And might I propose we select a new subject for conversation?”
Apparently Nick missed my request because he adds, “You have quite the healthy appetite,” he notes much to my embarrassment. “But I like a girl with a healthy appetite.” He winks at me with a grin.
“Yeah, well you’re not the first guy to tell me that.” I laugh as I push my plate away. Rhett used to tell me I ate a lot for a girl, but he liked it. I guess as long as you’re petite men don’t care if you could eat them under the table.
“Your old boyfriend like healthy eaters, too?” Bridge asks.
Shit! Bridge is fishing again. I quickly think of an answer to give him where he won’t see the truth, but I’m coming up empty.
“Uh…yeah. He was a guy I dated,” I answer and glance up to see Daniel watching me. I immediately tear my eyes away.
“Holy shit! How have I not heard about this?” Eileen gasps and turns her body towards me. “What was his name? Was he hot?”
“I don’t really like to talk about it.” The image of Rhett’s face flashes through my mind. His gorgeous green eyes, his laugh, the way he looks lying shirtless in my bed. It feels like an eternity since I’ve seen him.
“Did he pass away?” Bridge presses. I shoot him a look. Who would ask that?
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why not?” Bridge asks.
“Bridge, leave her alone,” Daniel snaps and everyone goes silent. “If she doesn’t want to talk about it, let her be.”
“Sorry. We’re all family here. I hope you know you can confide in us,” Bridge assures me.
“I appreciate that, but I would rather not right now. Thanks.”
