by Cynthia Dane
This was wrong.
The room spun. There Leah was, like a frilly Victorian doll, the pinnacle of sweet femininity and everything Sloan no longer was. The association was too real. Too recent. This could’ve been her ten years ago. Remember that white dress? Remember how hot it was when you acted like suuuuch a bad girl in the kind of dress you hadn’t worn since you were a kid?
This. Was. Wrong.
“Stop.” Sloan didn’t mean to sound so stern, but the crack in her voice helped to offset any surprise Leah may have felt. “Sorry. I mean… we need to get out of here, princess.”
She helped Leah up. Her no-smudge lipstick was a little off – how into it had she been? “You didn’t like it…”
Sloan had to be careful. One wrong move, one false word, and she risked ruining these supposedly intimate moments forever. Not only for her, but for a woman who had no idea what she was getting herself into.
“I like everything we do together.” Sloan tightened her grip on her girlfriend’s shoulders. Soft lace burned into her palms. “And I like it when you take initiative with your desires.”
A small smile returned to Leah’s lips, although her hands continued to wring. “I’m glad to hear it. Are we… okay?”
Damnit. Was she catching on to Sloan’s mood? She would have to work overtime to make sure Leah continued to have a pleasant evening. “We’re more than okay. Even better once we have some cake.”
She gave Leah a sweet kiss for good measure, but nothing was sweeter than returning to their table and abandoning the onus of a complicated relationship and how it unfolded in private. Even taking their relationship to the public sphere, where that reporter continued to jot down notes about the couples around him, was better than Sloan having to face the shit always going on in the back of her head.
Besides… once they were really alone, she would get what she wanted. She simply didn’t know until now what that was.
Chapter 23
Leah second guessed everything she did from the time they sat back down at the table until they arrived at Sloan’s spare apartment an hour later.
I screwed up, didn’t I? Leah had never seen Sloan react like that before. I thought she’d be so into it. God knew Leah had been. From the moment she concocted the idea, she was nothing but excitement. Why wouldn’t Sloan want to indulge in that kind of scene?
Yet no matter how much Sloan insisted that Leah hadn’t done anything bad, she couldn’t help but feel responsible for the change in mood. How could they go from celebrating their agreement to be exclusive, to sitting farther apart than ever? Sloan attempted to engage in conversation, both flirtatious and practical, but she was still a million miles away. Leah would need a rocket to reach her before the end of the night.
Or she could simply step into the apartment, which had been romantically decorated for their Valentine’s Day meetup. Leah was taken aback to find soft mood lighting, rose petals leading from the doorway to the bedroom, and an assortment of white candles ready to be ignited. Sloan grabbed her lighter from her purse and began lighting the candles before Leah had the chance to appreciate the forethought. Correction – forethought that’s not kinky in nature. Maybe they really had graduated from being nothing but fuck buddies to genuine girlfriends. “Have a seat.” Sloan motioned to the couch in the small living room. The curtains had been left open wide enough to offer a stimulating view of the Chicago skyline. Leah sat on the edge of the couch, her attention caught on the twinkling lights of office buildings and families settling into their high-rise homes. Sloan joined her, wig off and shoes on the floor.
“We should talk about what happened earlier.”
Lightning cracked across Leah’s shoulders. “Sure,” she squeaked.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I was… look, I’m not used to being with someone who wants to do those things with me. Sometimes I have to remind myself that you’re the real deal.”
Leah nodded. “Sometimes I must remind myself that you don’t think I’m a freak for me being the way I am, either.” For the first time in her life, Leah didn’t have to hold back saying words like serve. If anything, she was emboldened. Sloan ate it up like a cat with a bag of treats. She’s the cat. I’m an endless supply of goodies. God knew Sloan probably lost interest in her toys as quickly as a cat, too. Leah tried not to think about that.
Until tonight, she treated this relationship as her formal introduction into the kind she always wanted. Sloan would move on from her, eventually. Women like her always did.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
Leah chose her words carefully. “Do… do you think this relationship is going to go somewhere? I never expected you to ask me to be your girlfriend.” She glanced at the bracelet twinkling on her wrist. Wait until I show the girls… they’ll flip! Her own mother would probably stop her halfway across the living room and demand to know what it was about. My mother. The woman who has barely acknowledged me when I say I’m going out with someone every weekend. Ever since Leah came out as gay, her mother stopped caring about her daughter’s dating life. It was a relief to everyone that they didn’t have to worry about Leah getting into certain trouble.
Sloan drummed her fingers against the arm of the couch. “Let’s take things one step at a time. This is a first for the both of us, in a lot of ways.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing so much.” Sloan snaked her arm along the back of the couch. She’s so much more imposing without the wig! How? If anything, the blond wig had made her presence so well-known that Leah would have to stop breathing to make it go away. So why was Sloan’s fuzz-covered scalp more intimidating with this outfit? Was it because she was now focused on that sexy blouse? “You didn’t do anything wrong, so what do you have to apologize for? I’m not upset with you.” Sloan scoffed. “I’m upset with myself.”
“Why?”
She continued to scratch her ear as if it were the most vexing thing to besiege her attention. “You didn’t do anything wrong back at the restaurant. Once upon a time, I would’ve thought that was the hottest thing in the world.”
“What changed?” Could Leah do anything to make Sloan enjoy it again?
“I did. I realized there are some things that remind me too much of my past.” Sloan shrugged. “I should’ve said something, but I decided to push my boundaries with you. I figured it was only fair after I pushed your boundaries last time.”
“I see.” No, she didn’t. All she saw was the expectant look on Sloan’s face, and the way her lips came closer. She wants to kiss me. What’s keeping her from doing it? Maybe the scent of vanilla was now too strong in that small apartment. Those candles had only been burning for five minutes, and the place already smelled like Rose City Bakery. “Here I thought I was the only one with boundaries to push.”
“That’s not true. Everyone has boundaries.” Sloan lowered her arm again. Fingertips touched the back of Leah’s neck. “Maybe I’m too good at hiding mine from people.”
Leah lightly touched those fingers rubbing the back of her neck. “I would think you have to be closed-off in your line of work. You’ve said so yourself that it’s male-dominated.”
That faraway look made Leah wonder if her girlfriend were more than a million miles away now. Maybe a billion. Maybe a trillion and a half. “That doesn’t begin to cover it. Sometimes I feel like the only one with a brain. Probably because mine’s not in my dick.”
Leah glanced down into her girlfriend’s lap. “It’s not?”
“Have I called you cheeky recently?”
That warm tone was an invitation for Leah to wrap her arms around Sloan’s shoulders. It would be impossible to not kiss now.
When they did get to it, Leah was already open to the idea of doing anything. She was refreshed from an afternoon at the spa, and full from one of the most delicious dinners she had ever consumed. Why wouldn’t she be ready to take whatever Sloan gave her? This is what it’s like to have a girlfri
end. I have someone I can kiss. Someone I can fall in love with…
Leah faltered in the middle of their kiss. There was a thought she needed to contain for the time being.
Sloan took the interruption as an opportunity to suggest, “Why don’t we try again?”
“Try what again?”
Leah’s girlfriend guided her hand to the hardness between her legs. “I think being in a restaurant earlier didn’t help us any. It’s much more comfortable in here.”
“You’re sure?”
“As long as you’re into it, so am I.”
Leah grabbed Sloan by the blouse and pulled her forward for another kiss. “Let’s see where the night takes us.”
As it so happened, it took them wherever it pleased.
***
This is what I’m talking about. Leah thought fooling around in the restaurant would be fun? This was ten times better – because there was nothing like finding new and invigorating ways to please her partner.
It helped that having Sloan sinking into the corner of the couch afforded new opportunities for her pleasure. Leah also didn’t have the restriction to touch not an inch of skin or a hair on Sloan’s body. She was invited to touch as much as she wanted. While her hands meandered beneath her lover’s camisole and her eyes absorbed the effects of their lovemaking, Leah resumed her self-indulgent fantasy.
Don’t tell me she gets this every week, no matter who she pays. Sloan wasn’t paying anyone right now, if Leah were to believe that they were exclusive. Don’t tell me she ever thought to touch the woman doing this to her.
Sloan had no idea she was doing it, huh? Her hand had a life of its own as it slipped beneath Leah’s skirt and touched whatever it pleased. What a surprise! It ended up in Leah’s pussy, a sweet dalliance to encourage her to give her lover her all.
Leah truly achieved what she wanted when Sloan talked her through it. She had never wanted the silent treatment. Those pitiful moans weren’t enough, either. Leah wanted to awaken the woman inside of Sloan. The one who whispered in her ear to get what she wanted and do with it as she pleased. Do that to me. Do whatever you want to me. Use me, for all I care. Take out whatever you have. I’m yours.
This kind of sex was a drug Leah quickly became addicted to. How could she not, when her brain was already wired to desire it? She called me a doll on the way here. What if I tell her she can treat me like one? Not a fragile doll in need of special care, but a doll meant to be played with. It didn’t sound like a bad life. It was better than sitting alone on the shelf. Leah could handle getting a little scruffy if it meant she had been well-loved during her life.
“I can’t get over how beautiful you are.” Every time that curly hair got in the way, Sloan pushed it back before Leah could think to do it first. “Only you could take such a ridiculous dress and make it fit for a grown woman.”
Leah thanked her. Sloan may have told her to stop apologizing for everything, but that didn’t stop her from being grateful, too.
“What in the world am I going to do with someone like you, kitten? I must be the most spoiled bitch in the universe tonight. Who else is getting this kind of treatment from a one-of-a-kind lady?” She threaded her fingers through Leah’s curly hair, pulling on it hard enough to make her lover moan in anticipation. Hair pulling is the only thing I’ve never had to ask for. Plenty of previous lovers had instinctively taken a fist of her curly hair and gotten more than rough. Almost all of them stopped to apologize once they realized what they had done without thinking. Leah, meanwhile, often wished they would do it again. As Sloan had discovered over the past few weeks, her lover liked a little pain in the bedroom.
She liked pleasure, too. Which was why she lived for that single finger easing in and out of her while she shoved her face into Sloan’s lap.
“Don’t hurt yourself, please. You’re too precious to take to the emergency room because you became too ambitious.” Sloan clicked her tongue. “Maybe I should do something about it before you get ahead of yourself.”
It was too late for that, wasn’t it? Leah couldn’t take it any farther if she tried, because Sloan wasn’t exactly packing the king of the year in her pants! Function above fun. Tut, tut, Ms. Sloan. Maybe next time you’ll impress me. The woman liked cheeky lovers? Leah couldn’t be prouder of herself.
“I daresay that if I were a man, I’d have come by now.” Sloan laughed at her own joke. “Since I’m not, I’ll have to figure out other ways to escalate this lovely little situation we’ve found ourselves in.”
About damn time!
“Do you want me to spoil you now?” Nails pricked Leah behind the ear. “That’s what all this is about, right? Getting a nice reward out of me. Go on. Keep bobbing your head if I’m right.”
What could Leah do? Stop? She was only getting started!
“That’s it!” Leah may not be wont to halt herself, but Sloan wasn’t above making her. All it took was a good yank of the hair and a body kicking upright to get Leah out of Sloan’s lap and landing on the floor. One of the barrettes fell out of her hair. The diamond bracelet tickled Leah’s wrist, but her attention was focused on the devilish beauty looming over her. “I’ve been looking at you in this dress for the past three hours. Do you know how often I imagined ripping it off your body and tasting you?”
“No,” Leah whispered. “Tell me.”
That cocky grin was the exact kind of move to make Leah’s knees buckle against the floor. “Every minute.” Sloan grabbed her girlfriend’s chin and tipped her head back. Curly hair brushed against the coffee table. “Not a minute has gone by where I haven’t wanted to make you mine.”
“I’m already yours.”
Sloan released her. “You say that, but I’m not sure you understand what it means to be mine. It means being the most spoiled brat to strut her ass down the street. People will hate you because of who you are, because you’re with me. They’ll want to destroy you to get to me. They’ll want to fuck you like I do, because any woman who’s good enough for me must be good enough for them, too.”
She played right into Leah’s hand. Maybe I’m the real puppet master here. It wouldn’t be the first time Leah had that theory, nor would it be her last.
“Only you could fuck me like you do.”
Sloan wrapped both hands around her lover’s face. “Let’s prove it.”
If there was one thing someone could call Leah and not offend her, it was easy. Easy to please. Easy to get into bed. Easy to manipulate behind closed doors, because she found it easy to give her heart away when the right person came along.
Being easy could get her in trouble, as it had before, but being easy was also the most exhilarating way to live her damned life.
So when Sloan wanted Leah on the sofa, legs spread wide and arms extended above her head, it wasn’t a matter of when it would happen, but how fast Leah could comply. She will make it worth my while. Leah decided to not hold back a single moan of pleasure or flutter of desire in her chest. Any sound, any movement that naturally came to her, she would indulge. Sloan needed to see this side of her. Leah needed to express the suppressed parts of her body and soul.
“Oh, God!” There was no holding back on Sloan’s end, either. When she slammed her tongue against Leah’s folds, already wet from that night’s extended foreplay, she released the other woman in the room. A woman who had begged to be freed long before these two ever met.
Those next few minutes set the tone for the rest of the night. Gone were the hesitations and inhibitions they exhibited throughout dinner and the car ride back to the apartment. Leah didn’t need inhibitions, and Sloan was not the kind of woman to cave into hesitations for too long. They needed each other. Leah allowed her girlfriend to be the aggressive lover she loved to express, and Sloan brought out the inner lion from within Leah’s body. A lion that roared every time that tongue licked the length of her slit and plunged deep into her heated depths.
Hands crawled up Leah’s torso and searched for her zipper. It was e
ither that or tear the fabric from her body. As hot as that sounded in the moment, Leah knew they would regret it later. I want to keep this dress forever, as a token of tonight. Sloan would want to keep a token as well. She already had a pair of Leah’s underwear somewhere. Would she like another? Maybe the bra hugging her breasts and pushing them up the bust of her tight dress?
Sloan was too engrossed in her lover’s pussy to finish the job with the dress. Yet when it was unzipped enough, Leah wiggled out of the sleeves and intended to shove it down her torso. Too bad her first orgasm of the night came out of nowhere and clocked her upside the head.
She had never screamed so loudly before. Not in the open like this. Not without something to muffle her abashed cries. What did she have to feel ashamed of now, though? What was wrong with feeling so good that she screamed in this soundproofed apartment and allowed her body to undulate with every torrent of pleasure killing her from within?
No one had ever known her body this well before. Sloan wasn’t only a woman familiar with the female form and how it worked. She had taken the time to commit Leah’s body to memory. She remembered what Leah liked. What made her squirm the most, and how to push her to the edge of climax and then shove her over. She was also one of the only people to ever make Leah buck her hips and get her lover’s face so wet she had to be intoxicated.
Drunk on pussy. That’s what Sloan called it sometimes. She must be drunk now. It was the only way to explain that face coming for Leah’s, while two strong fingers shot inside of her.
“Look at me,” Sloan commanded, when every part of Leah begged her to close her eyes and revel in the onslaught of feelings coming for every part of her body. “Don’t look away.”
Leah did her best, although between the fingers inside of her and the couch arm digging into her naked back, she was more wont to throw her head back and get lost in the movements of sex. No. Listen to her. Don’t look away, whatever you do. There were wordless ways to form intimate bonds and to create those everlasting connections that would follow them outside of the bedroom. Looking each other in the eyes while Leah began to come again was one sure way to make this relationship one to never, ever forget.
