“I’m your father. Do I need a reason?”
Apparently he did not, for they sat together for a long while as the faint breeze stirred their manes together. A few soft clouds sailed by on an azure sea, and borne up on silent wings, a fish eagle lofted by majestically, undisputed lord of the air. For a few moments, two kings in their own right saw each other; the eagle dipped his wing, and Ahadi waved his paw. Taka began to relax as his tensions slowly ebbed away on the wind. He could hear his father’s steady pulse under the deep mantle of soft fur, and feel his sleek ribs rise and fall with the tides of his breath. It was a safe and comfortable feeling that stirred sleeping memories from the shadows of his mind.
“Once I said that you could tell me anything when you were good and ready.” Ahadi nuzzled Taka gently. “I have grown weary of waiting, son. You are troubled, trapped by your own feelings. You need to confide in me.”
“I’m fine. Really I am.”
“It must be terrible to suffer as you have suffered for Sarabi.”
“But father, I’m not suffering for Sarabi.”
“You’re not?” Ahadi sighed. “Muffy used to twitch his tail when he lied. You always wrinkle your nose. A father knows these things. Now I ask you, do I sound angry?”
“No, sir.”
“But I do sound worried, don’t I?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I am very worried. Your mother and I want you to be happy. We also want Muffy to be happy. It’s getting harder to wish you both what you want, when all you want is what Muffy has.” Ahadi took his large paw and gave Taka a pat. “He loves you, son. He’s your brother. I’m happy for him, and I want you to be happy for him. And what’s more, I want him to be happy for you. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”
“I think so.”
“Son, I love you. You were always so wise and sensitive. Whomever you marry will be fortunate. She will treasure every moment with you, my son. You think about romance and dream about it, but these are only shadows. Step into the light. Sarabi has talked with your mother and I, and we know all about what you’ve been up to.”
Taka stiffened. “Oh my gods.”
“Don’t worry. She hasn’t breathed a word to Muffy and neither shall we. She didn’t want to hurt you. In fact, she’s very sad about the whole situation, and she feels guilty about disappointing you. Akase and I are both convinced you should find yourself another lioness as quickly as possible.”
“But I don’t want another lioness. She’s all I ever wanted. She was my kingdom. Muffy had one, but he had to take mine too.” He began to cry. “She loved me, Dad. She said so.”
Ahadi sighed and touched his cheek with his tongue. “It will be easier on you at your age if you have an outlet for all these strong, new feelings. I understand how you want Sarabi, but son, you cannot have her. Grieve for your loss--go have a good cry over it, then go on with your life. Elanna has had her eye on you for quite a while. If you would just open your eyes, you’d know that. And you might want to talk with Rafiki and see what the spirits have to say--and don’t tell me how he has it in for you, I don’t want to hear it.” He turned to face Taka eye to eye. “I’m going to give you three moons—a whole season. You have that long to become serious with someone else.”
“Or?”
“If you don’t, I’ll have to do something to protect Muffy and Sassie from constant harassment. You’ll get a commoner’s mantlement and I’ll send you off into The Big World.”
“Father! ”
“I mean it, too. It would hurt your mother and I, but we have others to think of besides ourselves. Muffy is a good lion, and he will be your King someday. He has a right to expect loyalty from his own brother. If you can’t give it, you must go out in The Big World, where you’ll either be responsible or be carrion. Taka, you’re not a cub anymore.”
SCENE: THE ILLNESS
A week had passed. For Taka it was an awkward time, frought with frustration and embarrasment. He began to talk to different lionesses, but he found discouragement at every corner. Oddly enough, he avoided Elanna, despite what his father had said. Elanna was Sarabi’s sister, and those sisters shared everything.
He felt uncomfortable around his parents because of what he thought they had been discussing behind his back. But while his mother acted perfectly normal, his father had acted really strange, not just with him but with everyone. Taka began to wonder if Ahadi had other problems. Indeed, some of the lionesses came to him wanting to know what was wrong with the King.
Ahadi was cranky and prone to disagreement. Akase made excuses for him, saying he was just “under the weather.” She urged him to see Rafiki, but he just dismissed her concerns as a lot of “foolish nonsense, ” and asked her to be a “good little thing.”
Taka was too preoccupied to really notice his father’s health. He had padded quietly into the small grassy patch by the southern face of Pride Rock when he saw Muffy lying on his back next to Sarabi. They had not spotted him, so he froze and listened.
“Little cub, are you in there?” Mufasa asked, running his paw gently down Sarabi’s abdomen. Her leg started kicking and she giggled.
“Cut that out, you wicked lion! ”
“I’m your husband. I can touch you anywhere I want.”
“Well I’m your wife, you know. It works both ways.” She cuffed him lightly in the ribs.
“Ow! That hurt! ”
“I’ll make it feel better.” She kissed him and began to fondle his mane with her paw. “What did I ever do to deserve such happiness?”
Taka’s heart came into his mouth. He ran from the meadow, plunging through the shrubs and breasting the tall savanna grass. The evil sun of midday scorched him with fire. Everything was ugly. All that was real was his hate. Hate for the creature that his brother had evolved into. Hate for Sarabi. Hate for life itself.
In his flight, he flushed out a rabbit. With a couple of strides, he closed the distance, and he sprang on the hapless creature, pinning it to the ground with his large paws.
In ice cold terror, the rabbit stared up into the red eyes of rage. “Oh gods, ” it murmered. “Oh gods. Please let me go! Please! ”
“He thinks he’s so cute, touching her there.” His eyes narrowed. “I’ll kill him. So help me God, I’ll kill him! ”
The rabbit trembled violently in the suffocating embrace of Taka’s paws. “I’m not much of a meal. Oh gods, I’m going to die! Oh gods, oh gods! Please don’t hurt me! ”
“Do you know what I do to scum like that? Dirty sneaking filth that steals what is rightfully mine?” Taka moved his face to within an inch of the rabbit. His breath, pregnant with lion scent, colored his every word. “I wait for the right moment, then I rip them like a gazelle.”
Taka closed in. The rabbit barely had time to shriek before it was stove clear through by lion fangs. Taka raised his head, tossed the blood-drenched trophy up and let it fall lifeless into the grass. “Like a gazelle! I’ll rip him open, so help me! ”
Meanwhile, things were quickly going from bad to worse with the King. The next morning, Akase found Ahadi feverish.
“Get them out of here! ” he said. “Get them out of here! ”
“Get what out of here?”
“Just get them out of here! ” He staggered back against the wall of the cave and with his back covered, looked around in a panic. “Akase! Stand by me, quickly! I’ll protect you! ”
Akase took her paw and patted his face. “Ahadi, darling! It’s all right! You’re safe.”
“Safe?” he said, his eyes not focusing well. “Where’s Akase? I have to drive hyenas off the Pride Lands.” Beads of sweat had matted his splendid mane. “I’m so tired. Hyenas—they always seem to know when I’m tired. Let down your guard for one minute...”
“Please lie down. The hyenas are gone. Mufasa chased them out.”
“Mufasa? He’s such a good boy. Where is he?”
Akase ran to the entrance of the cave. “Zazu! For God’s sake, come quickl
y! ”
Zazu fluttered in. “What’s wrong, your majesty?”
Ahadi looked up. “We must rest here for a moment. Got to get out of the sun—I’m so hot. Taka, you go on without me.” Ahadi turned to face Zazu, but looked right through him. “What do they think they’re doing? Isha, your cubs are muddying the water hole again! ”
“Oh my Lord, ” Zazu whispered. “I’ll fetch Rafiki.”
Zazu headed out right away, as fast as his wings would carry him. She lay next to Ahadi’s burning skin and kissed his cheek. “I love you, darling. Help is on the way. Can you hear me, Ahadi? Do you know who I am?”
Ahadi began to pant quickly and shallowly, but he moved his large paw on top of Akase’s. “I think I’ll take a nap, old girl. Will you stay by me?”
“Always, honey! Always! ” She added in a whisper, “Gods, make them hurry. I feel so helpless. Help us.”
It seemed to take an eternity for Rafiki to reach the cave, though the did the best he could. Rafiki arrived out of breath with a small pouch of powdered Chi’pim and his staff.
Rafiki took some water from the cistern, mixed the leaves in it, and gave Ahadi the broth to bring down his fever and bring him to himself. After Ahadi drank it, he checked his eyes, even pulling up a little on his eyelids. He stuck his thumb in the corner of his mouth and felt around. Then he listened to his chest. His face was grave.
He took Akase to the back of the cave. “Has he had trouble sleeping lately?”
“Yes.”
“And the muscle stiffness?”
“He told you about that?”
“No. I’m afraid not. It’s a symptom of Koh’suul.” He whispered, "When he comes to himself, take him across the savanna to the edge of the forest."
"Where to?"
"The most appropriate place. The fever will subside, and he'll have a couple of hours of clear thinking. But my dear, you must hurry. He will not live to see the moon tonight."
"Oh gods, no! "
"Hsssh! "
"You're a shaman, " she whispered, but every bit as urgent as a scream. "Can't you do something? Anything? I can't let death take him from me! I just can't! "
He looked in her eyes, pulling down the lid gently with his thumb. "Don't worry, in his own way Aiheu has shown you mercy.” He silently traced a circle around her right eye with his fingertips and touched her under the chin. He wanted her to know she would soon look on the face of God and call Him by name. “Two, maybe three days alone. Use that time to prepare yourself.”
"Oh." She nodded, and warm tears trickled down her cheeks. “I understand. Aiheu is merciful. But if I could have only seen my grandchild first. You must send my love to the child.”
He wiped away her tears. "Say good bye to no one, not if you really love them. You must not drink from the common watering hole or the stream till you have crossed the meadow. You must not stop to relieve yourself until you have found the place. I will have to purge this cave before it is safe." He kissed her. "Is there anything you want me to tell Mufasa?"
"No, just say good bye for me." She sighed. "Poor Taka, I would not live long enough to say what is in my heart. Promise me you will try and look after him. He is so dependent. Promise me you'll look after him."
"I promise I will do what I can."
"Whispering about me behind my back, old girl?" It was Ahadi, much improved.
"I was just telling Rafiki about the surprise. You haven't felt well, and now that the medicine is helping you, you can take a little trip with me to see something special."
"Yes, I am much improved. I won't have to be dragged out, and that is a pleasant surprise. Don't think I didn't know my time was up. Death has been stalking me--now it rushes in for the kill." He regarded her gently. "He gave you the marks of Aiheu. I take it old girl that we are in this together?"
"As always." She nuzzled him gently.
Ahadi said, “Rafiki, you must tell my son Taka that I made a mistake.”
“Sire?”
“Once I killed a badger. It was not male as I had said. She had pups.” He sighed. “She attacked my son to only protect her own children. I was trying to prove that I loved Taka, and I broke one of my own laws. I cannot face Aiheu with this secret on my conscience.”
“I’ll tell him.” A tear rolled down Rafiki’s face. “I’m sure you die forgiven. I touch your mane.”
“I feel it. And friend, tell him to keep looking. He’ll know what that means.”
“I will.” Rafiki took a small flint knife from his pouch. He approached Ahadi and took a few strands of his mane, cutting off a short lock, kissing it, and putting it in his pouch. Then he placed the marks of Aiheu on Ahadi. “It is time.”
Ahadi and Akase left the cave for the last time and climbed down the side of Pride Rock. Without a word they took the most direct route away from the comfort of their dwelling and forded into the silent grass.
With a heavy heart, Rafiki gathered dead grass from the savanna and made a pile of it in the middle of the cave. He put ferns on top of it and a sprinkling of powdered Alba. Then he took a clay pot, and emptied from it a few glowing coals on the tinder.
The coals satisfied their great hunger, raising a cloud of smoke that quickly filled the cave with its bitter incense. The smoke sought the heavens, but it found the ceiling of the cave and spread out gray fingers to feel for an opening. At last it found the door, and began to rise free into the sapphire sky.
"Fire! Fire! " It was Taka. He rushed into the cave, coughing and wheezing at the smoke. “Is anyone in here?”
"You must leave, " Rafiki said.
"You foolish ape! What do you think you are doing?? Have you lost your mind?? When Mom and Dad see this, they will cuff you senseless! "
"They will never see this, " Rafiki said. "It was the Koh'suul. Flee. You are in great danger here."
"Koh'suul?" Taka's eyes widened. "But that’s fatal. You mean Dad is dying? Does Mom know?"
"Akase has gone with him."
"Hffff! ” He stiffened up. “She was well. I saw her this morning. She was well! What do you mean she has gone with him? Without telling me?? She’ll catch it too! Where is she??"
"You cannot see her. It would be death to you. I'm sorry, but she had it when I got here. Death had already placed his mark on her."
"But I must see her! " He pounced on Rafiki and held him to the floor of the cave with his paws. "Tell me where she is or I'll crush the life out of you! "
"Your mother made me promise to care for you. If you must kill me, you must. "
Taka looked confused, sad, and finally released Rafiki. He turned and sat facing the wall. “Sassie doesn’t love me. My brother doesn’t love me. The gods don’t love me. All I had left was here. Now I’m alone. They are killing me one small piece at a time. This time they killed my heart.” He trembled. “I walk, I speak, yet I am dead inside. Dead.”
"There must be something I can do, " Rafiki said, getting up.
"Haven't you done enough?"
"That's not fair, Taka. When I was young, my mother died of Beh'to. Before the end, she was banging her head on a tree, trying to force the headache out. I watched her die in the most dire agony. That's when I knew I must be a shaman. I would never have to feel so helpless again.”
“Then why not help them?”
“As my knowledge grew, every answer raised new questions. I cannot heal every wound. So more important than my herbs and spells is knowing something to say to comfort the Ka when these bodies of Ma'at crumble."
"Then say something comforting to me."
He stroked Taka's mane. "I think about the prophesy. I think about it a lot. Oh, I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do in a year, in five years, in ten. Now I am committed to fight this thing. All my hopes and dreams have been turned upside down. In this way we are alike, my friend. Our childhood dreams are over. The morning has come and we awake to face reality in the light of the sun. Let us find something real in the sunlight, something that pleases
us, and hold on to it. All else is vanity."
"You are a foolish ape, " Taka said. "But even a fool may say the right thing at times."
With that, Taka stalked quietly away to some secret place to be alone. His absences had become more and more frequent as his life fell apart. The loss of his father was a terrible blow, but after the death of Akase he was never the same again. Mother she was, friend, and ally. It would be fair to say she was his conscience, his goodness, his faith in the gods. All of these things and more.
Hours passed with no sign of him. Mufasa and Sarabi in the midst of their deep grief gave him some thought and tried to find his private world of brooding depression and nuzzle him. They could not find him, but Yolanda would later say that a one eyed hyena and her brood was sitting next to him near the elephant graveyard as he wept like a baby. No one believed her story—it was too improbable. She must have seen poor Ahadi. Even though Yolanda said it was a dark maned lion she saw.
Later that evening as Mufasa was asking Rafiki’s help in finding Taka, Zazu came flying back.
“News? Have you found my brother?”
Zazu said, “Your father....” His head bowed and he sighed deeply. “Have courage, Your Majesty.”
Rafiki came and put his arms around Muffy and whispered, “It’s time.”
Mufasa climbed slowly up the precipice of Pride Rock and when he reached the tip, paused for a moment. Then he lifted up his head and roared. It was a sad and terrible roar that rent the evening sky, and the lionesses joined in. The King was dead. Long live the King.
In the silence after the unearthly shout, Mufasa could hear his father’s voice speaking to him from the past. “It is always wonderful to be needed, especially when you always do your best to meet those needs. Someday you will know that feeling when I am gone.” Muffy sighed. “It doesn’t feel very wonderful, Dad. I wish you were here right now. There’s so much I want to tell you.”
Sarabi drew up alongside and sat by him, resting her head against his mane. “Let it out, Muffy. Quit trying to hold it in.”
Mufasa’s chin trembled. He tried to hold his composure, but tears welled up in his eyes. “They’re gone, Sassie. They’re gone! ” He leaned against her and sobbed.
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