“Thanks,” he said gruffly. “What do I need to change in the writing?”
“Nothing,” Liam said enthusiastically. “I was looking at it wrong I think. I’m excited to get back in there and take another swing! Are you ready, Mara?”
“Yeah,” I said, finally moving from where Evan had released me, trying to get my head back into things. “Let’s go, again.”
“All right!” Liam said clapping his hands together. “Where should we start from?”
“Try the very beginning, again,” Evan said softly, avoiding eye contact with me.
Chapter Sixteen
I shouldn’t have stronger feelings for my best friend’s brother than my boyfriend.
I lay on my bed, eyes staring out into the darkness as the late night city sounds softly made their way through the closed window.
Lizzy snored softly in her bed next to me, completely oblivious to my internal struggle. She had been so excited when she got home from her date that I didn’t say anything, like usual.
How could I tell her I wanted to be with her brother? Especially, when she was always so ready to tell me how attractive she found Chris. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by becoming another one of her friends to crush on Evan.
She could think I only befriended her for him. No, Mara, that’s silly! You knew her first. I still can’t tell her, though. I can’t tell anyone.
I rolled over, frustrated that I’d come to the same conclusion all my previous thoughts had led to throughout the day.
It was a stage kiss. It didn’t mean anything. I need to keep reminding myself of that.
It did mean something to me, though. Evan was the one that it didn’t bother. I was sure I’d misread all of his previous actions. It was the only explanation I could find for his recent standoffish behavior.
I’ll call Chris in the morning and see if we can get together tomorrow. We need to spend time together. Then I’ll remember how I feel about him and this whole silly thing will go away.
“I was happy to get your call this morning,” Chris said smoothly as he unlocked the door to his apartment. “We haven’t spent much time together lately.”
“I know. That’s why I called,” I said with a smile. “I figured we could just relax and catch up on what’s been happening.”
“Sounds great. Wine?” he asked, taking his suit jacket off and putting it in the coat closet.
“Sure,” I said, taking a seat on the couch.
“So,” he said, rolling his sleeves up as he walked into the kitchen. “What’s new with you?”
He proceeded to pull to glasses out before surveying his small wine collection displayed on the counter.
“I’ve been taking my classes, as you know,” I started. “They’re going really good. I feel like I’m really getting to the top of my game, now.”
“That’s awesome,” he said, turning to smile at me before going back to his picking.
“How about you?”
“Well,” he said, finally selecting a bottle and carefully pulling it from the rack. “Things have been going very well for me, actually.”
He filled our two glasses and brought them over to where I was sitting, the bottle tucked under his arm, before continuing.
“I’ve been trying to get my office relocated to a better building, where I’ll catch more people’s attention. I put an offer in on a place downtown and will hopefully hear back tomorrow.”
“That’s great,” I said enthusiastically.
“It is. But not as great as what happened to me yesterday.”
“Do tell,” I said, taking a swig of the wine.
“You remember the benefit I invited you to, right?”
“Of course. I have the date circled on my calendar and everything,” I laughed.
“Good! We’re going to be showing up a little earlier than everyone else.”
“Why is that?”
“It turns out, the building that it’s being hosted in is coming up for sale. And they asked me to be the broker for it!”
“Wow, that’s awesome Chris! It sounds like a dream come true.”
“Hard work and patience, that’s what it took for me to get to this point. It does feel like a dream, though,” he laughed. “So, we’ll get there early, in order for me to do a walk through with the current owner. He told me that there would probably be buyers at the event, so we’ll have to be on our best behavior. I always try to put out the best image I can when I’m working.”
“Of course. I totally understand.”
“I’ll take you shopping for a new dress,” he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and raising his own glass to his lips.
“You really don’t have to,” I said, suddenly uncomfortable.
“It’s no problem,” he said after swallowing. “I want my girl to look her best.”
I returned his smile the best I could, but I couldn’t stop the sick feeling in my stomach. I didn’t like feeling like he thought my clothes weren’t good enough.
“It’s a formal affair,” he continued, oblivious. “I wouldn’t want you to feel like you were under dressed.”
“I have some nice, floor length dresses,” I said, still trying to dissuade him. “You don’t need to spend all that money on me.”
“Nonsense,” he laughed. “I want to. I haven’t gotten to take you out and spoil you in a while, anyway. It will be fun!”
“If you say so,” I said, before taking another gulp of my drink.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Finally, he caught on.
“Yeah. It’s just, there’s some work stuff that’s been bothering me and I wanted to talk about—”
“Here have some more wine,” he said, topping off my glass. “Wine always makes me feel a little better when I’m having work trouble. What’s bothering you? Lines? Movements you can’t remember? Lay it on me.”
“Um.”
I looked at him, suddenly very aware of how much I didn’t want to talk to him about anything work related. I was tired of everything being about his job. It seemed like a bad idea to make my side of the relationship the same way.
“Never mind. I can handle it. Instead, why don’t you tell me what your favorite color is?”
“You want to know my favorite color?” he laughed. “Why?”
“Because you’ve never told me. I want to get to know you. You know . . . I want to really know who you are.”
“It’s white,” he chuckled.
“Why?”
“Because it’s a blank canvas. Anything can be done to it. Everything starts with nothing.”
“You should have been an architect,” I laughed. “You sound like someone born to create things.”
“Not everyone can afford to chase frivolity,” he said smoothly, leaning back and taking another sip of his wine. “Besides, I enjoy my job. I’m good at it, too.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled, frustrated to have landed right back on the topic of work. “You know what? I don’t feel very good.”
“Oh no,” he said with a frown. “Do you want to lie down in my bed and rest for a while?”
“Actually, I think I’d rather go home,” I said apologetically. “Then I can rest all night and not have to worry about leaving Lizzy alone.”
“I’m sure she won’t mind,” he said, gathering up the glasses and bottles and taking them back to the kitchen.
“I’d still like to go home.”
“All right, I’ll call ahead for them to save a cab for us.”
“You don’t have to come with me,” I rushed.
“If you’re sick, I want to know you’re taken care of.”
“I’ll call you when I get there,” I said, rising from the couch. “It’s fine, really.”
He looked at me for a moment, his arms folded across his chest while he decided.
“Fine,” he finally said. “But I’m stopping by first thing in the morning to check on you.”
“Great,” I said with a small smile.
; “And I’m at least going to walk you down there and put you in the cab myself.”
“I can handle that,” I said with a sigh, a real headache starting to form right behind my eyes.
He picked up the phone and dialed down to the front desk, reserving the cab as he’d said.
“Come on,” he said, taking my hand and gently pulling me into his embrace. “Let’s get you home.”
I walked up to my front door, the sick, uneasy feeling I’d had around Chris fading away.
I don’t have those feelings for him anymore, do I?
With a sigh, I pulled my keys from my bag, sliding the right one into the deadbolt on the door.
It swung open easily, revealing a tear soaked Lizzy on the couch.
“What’s wrong?” I asked in a panic.
“It’s stupid,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “I’m getting worked up over nothing.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, dropping my bag on the floor and joining her.
“It’s Evan,” she laughed lamely. “He called me a few minutes ago and said he was leaving the city, again.”
“What?” I gasped, my heart plummeting.
“He’s signed another tour contract.” The bitterness in her voice was strong.
“For how long?” The question seemed to be coming from somewhere else, not from my own mouth.
“A year,” she said, tears brimming in her eyes again. “He said that the first month was a trial period, but everyone loves him. They’re not going to send him home.”
“There’s not enough time between locations to come home either,” I surmised softly.
“He’s one of my best friends,” she cried. “How am I going to not see him for a year?”
I felt like crying myself. A year was a long time to go without seeing someone who was such a huge part of my life. I couldn’t even imagine how it felt for Lizzy to be losing the only family she had here in the city.
“When is he leaving?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly on the last syllable.
“Tomorrow,” she said, her sadness replaced by anger. “He didn’t even give me any time to say goodbye. I know I can call and text him still, but I would have at least liked to spent one day doing whatever with him. Now, all I get is a drive to the airport and a hug goodbye outside the terminal.”
“When tomorrow?”
“Early in the morning. He didn’t waste any time.”
I was about to ask if I could go with her, when I suddenly remembered Chris was coming over.
This is what I get for pretending to be sick to get out of a date, I moaned inside. There’s no way I can talk him out of not coming over.
I’m not going to see Evan again for a year.
My heart hurt. I couldn’t deny the feelings I had for Evan anymore. The truth was, I was pretty sure I loved him. It was something about the way he looked at me. The sound of his voice when he spoke reached parts of me that no other person had. His touch caused shivers to spread through my body. And I couldn’t fight it any more.
I cried with Lizzy. I cried because I was in love with her brother and felt too afraid to tell her. I cried because he was leaving without even giving me the chance to tell him. I cried because he didn’t feel the same way. And I cried because I still had Chris, who wasn’t who I wanted, but would be the only person I could lean on to try and remain any semblance of normality. Lastly, I cried because my heart was broken, already feeling the sting of unrequited love.
“I love my brother, Mara,” Lizzy said once we’d cried all the tears we had. “I’m happy that he has such great opportunities to travel and make new connections. But I feel like he doesn’t realize what it does to me when he leaves. It’s selfish, I know. But I would never up and leave for a year without calling and talking to him about it first.”
She stood and walked into the kitchen, pulling a pot from one of the cupboards and filling it with water.
“Do you want some hot chocolate?” she asked as she set it on the stove.
“Sure.”
Silence fell between us as she stared at the water, lost in her own thoughts.
I sat on the couch, legs folded underneath me, watching her work, but blind to what she was really doing.
I wanted to run right out and try to stop him, but I knew Evan would never listen to me. It was obvious I’d misread everything I’d thought was mutual feelings coming from him.
He’s leaving. He’s leaving, and he didn’t even call to tell me himself.
Chapter Seventeen
I looked at the clock again as Chris wandered around in the kitchen, making pancakes for breakfast.
He’s probably boarding the plane, right now. In twenty minutes it’s going to take off, and Evan will be gone for a whole year.
I bit my lip, fighting back the tears trying to consume me. He had never called to say goodbye.
I hadn’t slept hardly at all, upset over all the news and revelations I’d received the night before. When Chris showed up about thirty minutes ago, I looked like I’d spent the entire night hurling the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Lizzy was already gone, so I let him believe I’d really been sick.
Chris really isn’t so bad. He’s always wanted me to have the best and made sure I was comfortable. I could still be happy with him.
As if he could hear my thoughts, Chris turned towards me, a bright smile on his face.
“Hopefully, you’ll feel a little better with some food in you. I imagine that you spent a good part of the night dry heaving, since you only had wine at dinner.”
“Thank you,” I said weakly, giving him the best smile I could muster.
Pulling the blanket around me tighter, I looked at the clock again.
Fifteen minutes. He could still call.
Chris hummed to himself as he flipped our breakfast around in the pan, putting on his own little show. Normally, I would have been in awe over the sight, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about anything more than my phone that wasn’t ringing.
I could text him. We’re friends, it shouldn’t be such a big deal.
“Do you want butter on yours?” Chris asked, laying the plates on the table.
“Uh, sure,” I said absentmindedly, still staring at my phone.
“Are you sure you’re just sick?” he asked, coming over and sitting on my bed with me. “You seem really down today.”
“Yeah,” I said, raising my gaze to meet his. “I’m tired, that’s all. I didn’t sleep very well. I do feel a tiny bit better, though.”
“Great!” He smiled and leaned in, placing a kiss on my forehead. “Let’s have some breakfast then.”
He took my hand and gently pulled me out of bed, wrapping his arms around me and guiding me to the table. Once there, he pulled a chair out for me, making sure that I was comfortable as he slid me into my spot.
“So, if you’re feeling better, I thought that maybe we could go dress shopping. It could help liven you up, getting fresh air and all.”
“Sure,” I said, still not really listening as I looked at the clock, again.
Five minutes. Come on, Evan. Call me, please!
“I know the perfect place to look,” Chris said, still oblivious to my wandering attention. “We can go this afternoon after you’ve rested up a bit, if you want.”
“That sounds nice,” I said, turning back to him and smiling.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, taking one of my hands in his. “It’s no fun being sick.”
My phone buzzed behind me and I jumped to my feet, almost toppling my chair over.
“Sorry,” I said hurriedly. “I’m, uh, expecting a call about casting decisions for a show.”
I turned away from him quickly, hoping he didn’t see through the lie as I grabbed my phone and dashed into the bathroom.
It had stopped buzzing. In fact, it had only rang the one time. I opened it up, confused, and my heart fell as I realized it was just a reminder for tomorrow’s audition I’d set for myself.
I looked at the tiny clock on the screen and leaned against the closed door, sliding down to the floor.
Evan’s plane was gone. His phone would be off and there was no way he’d call me now.
I couldn’t stand knowing I hadn’t said goodbye in some way. Why hadn’t I called him myself?
Biting my lip in anticipation again, I opened the message center, a short text in mind.
Hey,Evan. I hope your flight goes well. I just wanted to tell you goodbye and to have fun.
I sent it before I could talk myself out of it, breathing a nervous sigh once it was done.
“Everything okay, Mara?” Chris asked from the other side of the door.
“Yes,” I answered, clearing my throat as I stood up. “I didn’t get it.”
I opened the door and he was standing there, arms open and a smile on his face. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I threw myself into his embrace, imagining that he was the man I loved.
“What do you think of this one?” I came out of the dressing room and got up on the miniature stage for Chris to see the latest dress he’d picked out.
“It looks nice,” he said, nodding. “It’s classy, but also the right amount of fun. I think with a nice, simple necklace it could be the one. What do you think?”
I surveyed myself in the mirror, looking at the black gown. My shoulders were bare, a sweetheart neckline accentuating my bust. While my figure was hugged tightly by the black, silky fabric, the skirt fanned out around my knees, creating the perfect mermaid dress.
I honestly loved it, but I was afraid of how much it cost. None of the dresses I’d tried on had any tags on them, which said they were so expensive you had to actually ask someone to price it for you.
“Are you sure you want to buy me a dress,” I asked again, uneasy at having so much spent on me.
“Of course! It’s nothing, Mara, really.”
“It’s expensive, though,” I said quietly, trying to convey my unease to him with my eyes.
“Well,” he said, rising from his seat and joining me on the stage. “Think of it this way. The party is not just a party for me. It’s a business venture. I need my girl to look stunning. What would people think if I didn’t dote on you every now and then?”
Big Apple Dreams Page 13
