The hard shell he built around himself after she deserted him was formed by necessity. Love had scarred him before and he let no woman touch his heart. Very few touched his body. He never let desire or need rule him.
But a fire, always present but hidden beneath his mask of propriety, suddenly exploded when he looked at Juliana. Her lips were parted, red from nibbling them in nervousness. Her cheeks shone from emotion and her eyes were wide and wet. She looked so innocent. So sensual. And he wanted her.
Despite everything, his whole body thrummed with need. He felt more alive than he had for… well, for five years. And he liked it. He’d stuffed the wild side of his personality away for a long time, but now it peeked out. And it wanted Juliana. On her back, in his bed, screaming his name.
“You require my help,” he croaked. “I can do that.”
She breathed a loud sigh of relief and some of the tension left her eyes. “Thank you, Landon. Oh, thank you. You don’t know what this mean-”
“I am not finished, Your Grace,” he barked, cutting her off. “There are terms to this deal. There are stipulations.”
Some of the pink color drained from her cheeks and her eyes widened. “Stipulations,” she repeated.
“Yes.” He was remembering how good it felt to be a little wicked. Ignoring the rational side of him that told him to put her out on the street and drink until his sanity returned, he stepped closer. “You see, I want something from you in return for my assistance.”
He watched her slender throat work as she swallowed. He couldn’t help but look at her swollen lips and remember what they had felt like wrapped around his cock the last night they spent together. His erection, which had half readied itself upon seeing her, moved to full attention at the memory.
“What do you want?” she rasped, but her wide eyes had already strayed to the thrust of his trousers. She knew he desired her.
And was that triumph that lit in her stare?
“Whether the law recognizes it or not, my dear, I am your husband,” he drawled, moving even closer. “And you have been sorely remiss in granting me my husbandly rights. I want them.”
She was out of the chair, stumbling away before he could take another breath. Her hands fluttered to her cheeks and she covered them, though he saw the red tinge of a blush darken her lily-white skin. Damn, her face nearly matched her auburn locks.
“You don’t mean… you don’t want… you want to make love with me?” she asked, shaking her head as she tried to understand. Tried to convince herself that she hadn’t heard him clearly.
He smiled, though he was anything but good humored. “No, Juliana. I want to fuck you.”
She flinched at the vulgar term and he flinched along with her. What did this woman do to him that she had him saying something so lewd in front of a lady? Viscount Landon Hawkins, member of the House of Lords, would never do such a thing.
But he had. And his cock lengthened.
“I will conduct a very quiet, very thorough search for your sister during the day. I will bring every resource of the Hawkins name into play to determine who her captor is, where he has taken her and to bring her home safely,” he explained. “But my services are not free. Each night you will come to my home and pay me with your body.”
“Landon,” she murmured, but despite her shocked expression, he saw, deep within her eyes, a flicker of powerful arousal.
He stalked another step closer. “You will give me whatever I desire. Wherever I desire. Whenever I desire. You will not refuse any demand I make. Your body will be mine from dusk until dawn.”
Her lip quivered, but her thin gown couldn’t hide the tightening of her nipples. God, he wanted to touch her. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He wouldn’t stay in control if he did. And he needed her to acquiesce to his demands before he let himself go. Before he indulged in every dark, lusty fantasy he’d had of Juliana since she left him.
Struggling to make his face as hard as his cock throbbed, he said, “Those are my terms, Juliana. Take my offer, or find someone else to help you.”
Chapter Two
Juliana should have been shocked by Landon’s demand. It was demeaning. It was cruel. It was a calculated way to get revenge.
Despite all that, she was not horrified. She was aroused. Her body wept with desire, to the point that she felt dampness on her thighs when she squeezed them together to fight the tingling of need that had been born there. Her breasts ached as her hardening nipples rasped against the silk of her gown. And when Landon looked at her like he wanted nothing more than to lower her to the floor and rut with her right then and there, she actually had to bite her tongue to keep a needy moan from escaping her lips.
But how could she agree to his proposal of quid pro quo? How could she give herself to this man she loved, knowing full well that his every touch would be a way to punish her for abandoning him and their marriage? How could she survive when she knew that in the end he would discard her, as he believed she had once discarded him? When she thought of the pain of that ultimate end, it burned her chest and brought fresh tears to her eyes.
She looked at him, ready to refuse despite her willing body’s insistence that she acquiesce. But then she thought of Evelyn. Out there somewhere, going through God only knew what.
Pain? What was Juliana’s pain in comparison to the horrors her sister was probably going through at that very moment? She was suffering at the hands of some unknown man, just as Juliana had suffered at the hands of her late husband.
And after all Juliana had done, had sacrificed to make sure this horrible thing would never come to be, she had to save Evelyn. She had to. No matter what the cost to her personally.
“Answer one way or the other, my lady,” Landon said with a yawn of boredom that was belied by the way his gray eyes never left her face. “But do it now. I’m tired and I wish to conclude this negotiation.”
Drawing in a long breath, Juliana forced herself to nod. “Yes,” she whispered and her voice cracked. “I will do what you ask of me, Landon. Just help my sister.”
He drew back, almost in surprise at her agreement. Then he nodded. “It will be done, Juliana. To the best of my abilities.”
“Thank you,” she murmured as she backed toward the door. She had to run away. To digest what had happened. To prepare herself for the onslaught sure to come when they began this bargain. “I’ll leave you now.”
Landon arched a brow. “I don’t recall asking you to go.”
She stopped, heart throbbing, at the door and turned toward him. “But you said you wished to conclude our negotiation.”
He nodded, a cold little smile barely tilting his full lips. “And now the negotiations are finished and our bargain has begun.”
She nodded. “So I shall leave you.”
“It is night, Juliana,” he said softly as she moved again to the door. “The bargain was that your nights would belong to me. Starting now.”
The air left Juliana’s lungs in a painful whoosh and she hardly kept herself upright as she spun on him in surprise. “Tonight?” she squeaked. “No, I-I’m not ready for this tonight. I am expected at home.”
He folded his arms. “These are not my problems, Juliana. We made a deal. I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain.”
He turned and strode to a little desk beside the window. From it, he withdrew a quill pen, inkwell and a few expensive sheets of linen paper. Holding them out, he said, “Write a note to explain your absence if you wish. Once you are finished, you will retire to my chamber upstairs and wait for me. I’ll leave instruction for Winston to show you the way. I will join you when I have finished with a few items of business.”
He didn’t wait for her response, a fact for which she was thankful. She wasn’t sure how to formulate one as he gave her a short bow and stalked from the room, leaving her to ponder what would happen that night.
Leaving her to thrill at the idea of it all.
*
Landon could hardly catch his breat
h as he paced his office. What was he doing? What the bloody hell was he thinking?
If he was in his right mind he would march up to his bedroom right now and tell Juliana to leave. Tell her that the bargain was off. He would find her sister and return Evelyn home without ever setting eyes on Juliana again.
Yes, that was exactly what he should do. But he wasn’t going to. He had come to accept that, even though he knew it was wrong, oh, so very wrong. He was going to go to his chamber and he was going to play out his fantasies with a woman who didn’t even care enough for him to stand by his side.
It was utter madness. And yet his cock, his mind, his heart all screamed with excitement, with anticipation. Hadn’t he earned this? For five years he had punished himself, hardened himself, loathed himself for letting Juliana get so close. For loving her. For wanting her. Now he had a chance to purge her from his system. To fulfill every hot, erotic dream he’d had of her. Perhaps when it was over, he would have had his fill and could finally let Juliana go. Let the past rest.
Groaning, he made his way to the door. He wasn’t stupid. He knew very well that he would never fully let Juliana go. No matter how much he hated her betrayal, no matter how much he tried to hate her, she had a place in his heart. And no matter of weeks or months or years would erase that fact.
But damn if he wasn’t going to enjoy this.
He took his time moving through the hallway toward the main stairs. He had to remain calm. Collected. He couldn’t let Juliana see just how much she still held sway over his heart. And that would take every bit of the emotional control he had cultivated over the years.
He took the stairs two at a time, unable to stop himself from rushing toward his chamber. Rushing to where she was waiting for him. Outside his door, he stopped and calmed his ragged breathing.
“Tonight you will be mine, Juliana,” he vowed as he opened the door. “Mine for the taking.”
*
Juliana trembled in the chill of Landon’s chamber. The fire had burned down and she didn’t dare do anything to make it higher. This wasn’t her room and she was sure Landon would call her on her impertinence.
All of this was a test. From the way he dismissed her concerns about returning home, to the way he had kept her waiting and anticipating his return for nearly an hour. They were all ways of telling her that she belonged to him now. That she could not deny any order he made of her.
She paced around the dim room in a slow circle. From what she could tell the chamber was very much Landon… or at least what Landon had become. It was stark, cold. Not really a home, but just a place where he slept. The bed was big, dominating the room, but it wasn’t particularly sinful. There were no rich, sensual coverlets or satin sheets to entice a guest.
It was wrong, but Juliana took a little pleasure in the fact that Landon didn’t have a woman advising him on home decoration. That meant he probably didn’t bring any women here. She was the only one who would share this bed with him… at least for now.
The door behind her opened and Juliana froze as Landon entered. The light was dim, but the glow reflected in his eyes anyway, making them glitter as he shut the door.
Now he would take her. She braced herself as he came a few steps into the room. But like in the drawing room, he did not touch her. She should have been grateful when the fire caught his eye. Instead, she was bereft. How could he so easily resist her? She had been fighting the urge to throw herself into his arms since he came home to find her waiting for him.
“It’s cold,” he murmured, crossing to the fire and tossing a few logs on. Immediately, the room brightened. “Why didn’t you have my man stoke the flames when he showed you the chamber?”
She shrugged. “It wasn’t my place.”
His lips pursed. “Of course.”
She cocked her head. Why did he sound angry?
He looked at her from across the room, then he grasped the back of the nearest chair and turned it to face her. He sank down into the cushion, steepling his fingers in front of him.
“And so we begin,” he murmured, almost more to himself than to her. “Here you are, after all this time, and I’m not even sure what to do with you.”
Juliana bit back the plethora of wicked suggestions that leapt to her lips as she fought to remain as passive and detached, as he seemed to be. Where was her passionate Landon? Where was her ardent lover? Why didn’t he touch her and relieve a bit of the ache that had been in her heart and body since the last time they made love?
“Your clothing,” he mused, tilting his head. “Remove it.”
She hesitated. God, he sounded like he didn’t care. And if she hadn’t caught the briefest glimpse of desperation in his eyes, she would have thought that impression was true. But it wasn’t and that buoyed her strength.
Swallowing, she lifted shaking hands to the little buttons at the front of her simple gown. She’d chosen a pale, spring green muslin, knowing it made her eyes dark. Landon had always liked it when she wore this color.
Landon had liked it even more when she wore nothing but her hair to shield her body and a welcoming smile. She could give him that tonight, as well.
“Slowly,” he ordered, breaking her concentration and making her hands tremble even more.
Inch by inch, she revealed herself, pulling her gown open further and further until her bodice gaped all the way to the high waist. She thought she heard Landon draw in a harsh breath, but his face remained impassive so she wasn’t sure.
“Now take the dress off,” he said, his voice barely carrying in the large, quiet room.
She did as she was told with jerky movements, yanking the short, gathered sleeves of her gown down over her shoulders, past her elbows and finally letting the garment droop around her waist. Landon watched each movement, his hand resting across his mouth the whole time, as if he were watching a particularly engrossing stage show. But as she had seen earlier, the desire in his eyes grew ever hotter, letting her know that this meant more to him than he wanted her to see.
With a shimmy of her hips, Juliana let the gown pool at her feet. She stepped away from the dress, pushing it to the side with one foot and letting him see her in her undergarments for the first time in five, long years.
She’d worn her best chemise. At the time she dressed for the night, she’d told herself it wasn’t by design, but now she realized it was. In some deep, dark place in her soul, she had hoped she would end up exactly as she was now, with Landon’s hot gaze taking in her nearly nude form. With the immediate future holding a promise of searing passion.
The chemise had slender straps with tiny silk flowers at the shoulders. The material was so light, it was almost sheer and only came to the middle of her thighs while it dipped low on her chest, revealing a generous vision of cleavage.
Landon groaned.
It was a guttural sound, a reflexive reaction and one she knew he had no control over. Her nipples immediately puckered, thrusting against the thin fabric so that the pink flesh was visible through the cotton.
“Take it off, Juliana,” he ordered, his voice harsh and hard.
She swallowed. His order, his stare made her nervous. Her own desire to rip her clothing off and bare herself to him left her ashamed. But the idea that she would soon be on her back in his bed titillated her. And that last reaction was the most powerful of all.
Gliding each hand beneath the straps of her chemise, she pulled it away from her body and stood before him clad only in her stockings and green slippers.
Landon made love to her with his eyes. He started at her lips, staring until they burned as if he had spent an eternity kissing them. Then his gaze drifted on a lazy path down past her collarbone to her breasts. There he paused, drinking in the sight of her before he continued his visual journey over her belly and finally looked at the downy auburn curls at the juncture of her thighs.
She was wet already. She had been since she arrived. But his stare had more desire gushing to coat her with cream. He had to be awar
e of that by his knowing, heated smile.
“Have you found pleasure while we were apart?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
She gasped at the personal nature of his question. “Landon,” she protested.
He let his gaze snap back to her face and there was a warning there. “The bargain was anything I desired, anytime I desired it. At present, I desire honesty. Have you found pleasure while we were apart?”
Her lip trembled as she slowly nodded. “Yes.”
His eyes widened with disappointment and anger.
“But only at my own hand,” she whispered, heat filling her cheeks.
That was not something a lady admitted. In fact, she was certain it wasn’t something most ladies dare do at all. But she had crossed the line away from being a true lady long ago. And once she had experienced the bliss of Landon’s body, she had needed release during the lonely intervening years.
Even though she knew her fingers were a poor substitute for him.
“You have brought yourself to completion?” he asked. His hands curled around the chair armrests, knuckles whitening with the force of his grip.
She nodded. “Yes.”
There was a heated moment that passed before Landon’s eyes snagged hers. “I want to see you do that now.”
She sucked in a breath. That was what he wanted? Not to touch her, but to force her to pleasure herself while he watched and judged. His request brought the full reality of her situation home. This truly was her punishment. And Landon would only give her what he chose, when he chose it. She had no alternative, no argument on the subject.
“Where do you want me?” she whispered.
His eyes widened at the question, but he tamped his reactions down with a casual shrug. “The bed…” He seemed to consider that for a moment, then shook his head. “No, not my bed. Not yet.”
He looked around until his eyes settled on a chaise lounge just a few feet away from where he sat. The fire’s light glowed directly on its dark cushions and a little smile turned his lips.
Jess Michaels Page 17
