by Virna DePaul
“Bullshit. You’re not ‘normal’ no matter how much you want to be. And that’s a good thing, Grace. You want a family, but you also want love. You want excitement. You want kink. I can give you all of that if you’ll let me.”
“No.”
He stared at her. Took her hands and kissed them, just as he’d done in the past. “I know it sucked, having that reporter blindside you. I know you were humiliated. But it wasn’t me who did that to you, Grace. And right now you’re telling me I’m not worth the drama, even if said drama wasn’t my fault.”
She wanted so badly to reassure him but she couldn’t. He was right. She wasn’t normal—her propensity for kink and the risks she took proved that—but she wanted to be normal. To be normal, she needed a normal life. Not a life in Vegas dating a celebrity magician.
“The drama wasn’t your fault, Max. It’s just… it’s just who you are. It’s all you’ll evah be.”
He looked like she’d stabbed him. “Right.” He stared at their joined hands for several seconds before letting go. He started driving again, executing an abrupt U-turn and heading back in the direction of the university. “God, I never learn. First Nancy and now, eleven years later, you. I thought I’d learned my lesson.”
She didn’t know who Nancy was, but the way he said her name, she knew she didn’t want to be compared to her. “Max, I’m sorry,” she said when he pulled up next to her car. “We want different things…”
“Don’t play that card, Grace. You’re scared. You opened up to me, and then you had to deal with some ugly stuff, and you’re afraid there’s going to be more ugly stuff. But what you’re most afraid of is yourself. You’re afraid I’m going to hurt you.”
“And that’s so outside the realm of possibility? You’ve left plenty of women behind, Max.”
“I have. But when I walked away, I did it knowing I never promised them I wouldn’t. I never lied to any of those women. But you lied. You told me you respected me. That you wanted to build something special with me.”
“Honey, I didn’t lie. All that was true. It is true. But we’re too different.”
“Again, bullshit, Grace. Now get out. Go pursue your normal life. Just remember, when you’re bored out of your fucking mind and realize you could have had more, everything, just remember you’re the one who walked away. And now you’ve done it twice.”
She hesitated. Struggled with indecision. Then she got out of the car.
As soon as she shut the door, Max drove off.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Max’s Magic Rule #18:
Leave your heart on the stage every single time.
“You’re out of your mind,” Lucy said, even as she took out the clothes Grace put in a suitcase. As soon as Melina had the babies and Grace held them, she was headed for the Caribbean. She’d bought her ticket and everything. But first, she had to get Lucy to stop unpacking her stuff.
She took the clothes Lucy put back in her drawer and put them in her suitcase again. “Lucy, stop. I told you I don’t want to talk about it.”
“And you thought that was actually going to shut me up? You two are perfect for one another.” Lucy made a grab for Grace’s clothes again, but Grace shut the lid just in time. Quickly, she closed the zipper before turning back to her friend.
“How can you say that? His lifestyle got me crucified in the papers. Half of Vegas knows about the sexual misconduct charges—”
“That your employer found had no merit.”
“—and that I texted Max a picture of my private parts.”
Lucy pursed her lips. “The Scoop is tabloid trash. No one believes what it actually prints. And even if someone did, you’re a sexually active female, Grace. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not that shocking. What is shocking is you actually thinking I’m going to believe the article is the reason you’re running from Max.”
“It is the reason.”
“It’s a convenient excuse to take the easy road instead of taking a risk.”
Grace whirled on Lucy. “You’re one to talk.”
Lucy scowled. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re datin’ Jericho and stickin’ by your ‘like-should-be-with-like’ theory—which by the way is further proof that Max and I would be a disaster together—because it’s the easy road. You’d rather do that than deal with the fact you were crazy about Jamie and heartbroken when he left you.”
Lucy jerked back. “First, Max and you are alike, whether you want to admit it or not,” she said quietly. “You’re both loving and intensely loyal and smart and ambitious, and you’ve both got enough kink in you to fill Caesar’s Palace. Second, Jeremy didn’t break up with me.” Lucy sat down on Grace’s bed, her expression crumpling. She wiped furiously at the tears pooling in her eyes. “But he made it so I had no choice but to break up with him.”
Shocked by both Lucy’s admission and the fact she was crying—she’d never seen Lucy cry before—Grace sat next to her and placed a hand on her arm. “Tell me.”
“He lied. About who he was. What he does.”
“He’s not really a professor?”
“He is, but there’s so much more to his life than that. He comes from wealth. He’s so stinking rich, it’s obscene.”
“Oh,” Grace said.
You’d never know it, but Lucy came from money, too. And she hated it. Her father and mother controlled her, made her feel bad for not fitting into the high society crowd, said hateful things about her choices in hairstyles, career, men and practically everything else. Lucy left that behind when she was sixteen and never looked back.
“But Jamie’s not like that. He’s workin’ as a college professor. He’s never treated you with disrespect.”
“He tried telling me what to wear. Thought I dressed too revealing.”
“That’s probably because he was jealous.”
“He didn’t like me going out to clubs. He wanted to stay home all the time and wanted me to do the same.”
“He didn’t want to share you.”
She shook her head. “No. It wasn’t jealousy. It was image he was worried about. Even if it was jealousy, I’m no man’s possession. And most important, he’s a liar. Everything I thought I knew about him wasn’t true.”
“Not everthin’. Certainly not the way he felt about you.”
“You’re wrong. I walked away and he never called me. Not once. That tells me how he felt about me.”
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, Lucy. That he didn’t love you. He probably still loves you.”
“It means he wasn’t willing to fight for what we had, and to me, that’s the same thing. And I’m betting Max feels the same way.”
Grace pulled back and stood. “That’s not fair.” Even as she said the words, she remembered one of her mama’s favorite sayings: Fare is what you pay to ride the bus.
“It wasn’t meant to be,” Lucy said. “It was meant to shake some sense into you before you lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“He’s drama, Lucy.”
“And you love drama, Grace. At least the kind Max can give you. He’ll try his best to protect you from the kind you don’t like. Obviously he won’t always succeed. But he’ll never stop trying. He’ll always be by your side, getting kicked in the teeth right along with you. Too bad he can’t say the same thing about you.”
She must have looked crushed because Lucy stood and folded her in her arms. “I’m sorry for being harsh, Grace, but let’s not forget: Jamie lied to me. Max has never lied to you. Not about who he is. Not about how he feels about you. What happened sucked, but it sucked for both of you. And you ran from him like it was all his fault.”
Now she was the one fighting back tears. “That’s not what I meant to communicate. I’m just scared, Lucy. He amps-up everthin’ inside me, the good and the bad.”
Lucy pulled back and shook her. “You don’t have a bad bone in your body.”
“I want to be norma
l,” she whispered. “Like Melina. I want to have love and a family. I want people to respect me.”
“First, Melina is far from normal. Second, you have all that already, Grace. And in case you don’t get it, me and Melina and Rhys and their babies, we’re your family. We always have been. Max will be, too, if you give him the chance.”
Staring into Lucy’s eyes, she finally accepted it. She’d had her family all along. Why hadn’t she seen it before? “I messed up, didn’t I?”
“You freaked. It’s understandable. The question is what are you going to do now?”
“The last time I saw Max he was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees. With good reason. I left Vegas, refused to answer his calls then turned him away like a lily livered coward. What can I do?”
“Take a lesson from the Daltons and prepare to give the performance of a lifetime. Roll up your sleeves and make the biggest play of your life and show Max how you feel. Anything coming to mind?”
She thought about her time with Max. Both the confidence and the insecurities he’d shown her. And how she wanted to give him everything he thought he couldn’t have—including her. “Actually, a couple of things do. But I’m goin’ to need a lot of help.”
***
“I told you I can take care of the new theater search, Rhys. You should be with Melina.”
“Melina’s fine, Max. Mom and Dad are with her.”
Only because they’d cut their trip short, but once Melina had gone to the hospital, none of them had really expected anything different. “But you’re not with her.”
“We’re going to check out the Paradise Theater when we have a chance. You’ve always loved it and now it’s vacant.”
“It also costs a fortune to rent.”
“I told you, I’m working on an investor who’s interested. He just needs us to give him a game plan for a fresh act, and to come up with that game plan, I need you to take a look at the theater and work up some new tricks with me. The tour won’t take long. We’ll just check out the place. See if it has what we need and whether it inspires us.”
“Fine.” Max grumbled as they entered the theater. Part of him wished Rhys would just leave him alone but the other part was grateful his brother was still pushing forward. Given how devastated he’d been after seeing Grace, Max should be lying around watching TV, drinking beer and eating pizza all day. But he had his family and those babies to think of, so he had to get his ass in gear some time.
He forced himself to focus on the theater lobby. It was a beauty, with wood, stone and crown molding. The theater itself was huge, with lots of space under the stage and in the wings, which was critical for an act like theirs that required large set pieces and trap doors. He felt a jolt of excitement he hadn’t felt since before Grace left.
“Look,” he said. “We don’t know what we need yet so we might be going about this backwards. I told you Grace’s suggestion about working with a dance troupe and I think we need to give that more thought. Maybe we should wait before looking at theaters.”
“I completely agree that Grace’s suggestion has merit, but the theater is available now. We need to act before someone else does. Ah, here we are.
Rhys opened the huge doors that led into the theater itself.
“Looks like we might be too late already,” Max said.
There were people on the stage, some stretching and some dancing. “Sorry, Rhys. I know how much—”
“Max Dalton?”
He turned toward the woman who’d called him and was now moving toward him with long, graceful strides. She was wearing a leotard and tights.
“Yes?” he said.
She held out her hand. “I’m Louisa James. I run a local dance studio.”
Max shook her hand. “Right. My brother and I were just going to—” He turned to introduce the woman to Rhys, but his brother had disappeared. What the hell?
He turned back to Ms. James. “I’m sorry to disturb you. I’ll just be going.”
“Oh you didn’t disturb us. We’re here for you. Grace arranged for it.”
“Grace?” He looked around, his pulse escalating at the idea of seeing her, even as he wondered again what the hell was going on.
“She told me you were interested in incorporating some dance and acrobatics into your magic act. She arranged for me to bring several dancers so we can talk about different options.”
Max couldn’t believe it. The last time he’d seen her, Grace had wanted nothing to do with his ‘drama’. So why had she arranged for all this?
The answer was obvious.
Grace was afraid of taking a risk on him as a lover and partner. She refused to see herself as normal, kink and all. But she was a good person. A good friend. She cared about Melina and Rhys and their future. Hell, she probably cared about Max, too. Just not enough. “When did Grace contact you?”
“A few days ago.”
After he’d acted like a caveman, carried her to his car, then practically kicked her out of it because she’d hurt his feelings.
“Is Grace here?”
“No but she is in Vegas. She said she’d stop by later. Shall we talk things out?”
Grace was in Vegas. He was going to see her. He didn’t know if that was a good idea or not, and he didn’t care. “Yes, let’s do that.”
Hours later, Max sat alone in the quiet theater waiting for Grace. Louisa James and her dancers had shown him some definite possibilities for making the show bigger than ever. They’d already scheduled a time to meet again. Even if it turned out Rhys and Max couldn’t afford to lease the Paradise Theater, there were others . . .
But where was Grace?
He wanted to thank her. He wanted to ask her what all this meant. He wanted to know if she’d changed her mind about giving them another chance.
But she’d hurt him. Far more than Nancy Morrison ever had. Could he really set himself up for that kind of hurt again?
He knew now Nancy’s rejection all those years ago had more to do with her own insecurities than it had him. She’d talked a good game, but when he replayed her words, he now understood how many of them focused on her fear that he’d get bored and move on to someone else. He hadn’t seen it then and he’d let her walk away. He’d done the same with Grace.
He hadn’t wanted to, but the bottom line was he couldn’t be with a woman who didn’t believe in what they had enough to fight for it. To fight for him.
He heard Grace’s footsteps before he saw her. When he looked up, she was only several steps away, carrying a gift box in her hands. She looked good. She always looked good. But she also looked uncertain.
She sat next to him.
“How’d it go with Louisa?” she asked.
“We’re going to collaborate together. Thank you, Grace.”
“You’re welcome.” She cleared her throat. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
“Mmm.” She traced the edge of the box she carried. “That’s too bad. Because I’m miserable without you. I was kind of hopin’ you were the same.”
He remained silent. Waiting. And hoping, as well.
“You know how badly I want to be normal, Max,” she said.
He sighed and took her hands in his, the box balanced on her thighs while their joined hands rested on top of it. “You’re more fabulous than normal can ever be, Grace. I know you don’t believe that and, as we’ve already established, I can’t give you normal. Not with this life. So why are you here?”
“Because I can give you some normal.” He tried to pull away, but she tightened her grip on him. “I’ve been tryin’ so hard to reject the kinky, adventurous side of me that sometimes I forget it’s just a part of me, not all of me. There’s more to me than that, just like there’s more to you than bein’ a performer. We’ve got layers, you and I.”
“Agreed.”
“I think, between the two of us, if you’re willin’ to try again, we can have it all. I can support your career and your lifestyle, Max. That’
s why I brought Louisa here. We can give each other the sexual excitement we need. But we can also give each other normal, too. Stability. Comfort. Security. Love. And eventually, if everthin’ works out well and you want it, a family.”
“Why are you sure we can have it when you weren’t sure before. What’s changed?”
“I’ve had time to talk to friends, to family, who refused to let me resign myself to a lifetime of missin’ you. And that’s what I’ll have without you, Max. A whole lot of missin’ you.”
He brought her hands to his mouth so he could kiss them. “I’ve missed you, too, Dixie.”
She leaned forward, obviously wanting him to kiss her on the mouth as much as he wanted to do it, but the box on her lap got in the way. When she pulled back, he tapped on the box lid. “Is there something inside there you want to show me?”
She looked uncertain. “Maybe there’s no need. I kind of brought it as back-up, just in case you needed to be convinced how serious I am about you, but now it seems like overkill.”
“Grace, you rented a theater and had a dance troupe show up for me. I’m pretty sure nothing in that box is going to blow my mind.”
“Okay.” She lifted the lid and took out a blanket.
He sucked in his breath. He’d been wrong.
She had blown his mind.
The blanket Grace held looked similar to the ones his mom had given Rhys and Melina for the babies. He reached out to touch it. It was soft. Almost as soft as Grace’s skin. He traced the outline of his and Grace’s names above a blank heart where a baby’s name was supposed to go.
“It’s not the real one,” she said. “Your mom has yours safely at home.”
His mom made him one? He shouldn’t be surprised, but he was.
“I had this one made because I wanted you to know this is what I want. Our names on a baby blanket that your mom makes for us. With our baby’s name in a heart underneath ours. I want time to explore our relationship and enjoy one another. But eventually, when we’re ready, I want to build a family with you.”
“I want that, too,” he said in a gravelly voice. “And Grace, I don’t need to be a magician to make it happen. You worked your way into my heart back at Lodi’s. You’ve never left. And until the time comes that we’re ready to have a baby, I’ll be your family. For now and forever.”
