I believe in forgiveness. I need to do it only once as opposed to feeling revenge and anger that carries forever.
My time, my feelings, my life, and my energy are much too valuable, to spend on them.
These are just several of the examples we have now shared together in the journey that has been my life. The challenges have seemed insurmountable at times. Some more difficult than others. In their own way, each has been unique. Yet they have all been bound by the common thread of the need for survival. The more challenges I face, the more I am able to draw on the experiences of my past to not only survive them but to profit from the lessons learned from each one. The stronger I get, the more confident I become that I will always be able to TRIUMPH OVER MY TEARS.
It is my heartfelt wish to you, my readers, that the experiences we have shared together on these pages, along with the positive mindset I have to begin each day, will be of benefit to you in meeting your unique challenges in this life.
Nava
EPILOGUE
I always feel that it is optimal to work together with the people in my life, whether it's with my partner, co-workers, or friends and family. As individuals, we need to fulfill our dreams and goals. To make that happen, we often rely on those we know for help. You should never give up on something important to you because as long as youʼre still breathing, it is not too late to achieve your goals. Sometimes we might have delays—life is full of surprises— but quitting entirely, is never a good option. Without our dreams, who are we?
When I started my search for Uncle Fred and Aunt Gerda, it seemed like an impossible task. At times I felt like a hamster on a wheel, running and running and getting nowhere. Was I wasting my time? A time I could have spent with my family, instead of chasing after rainbows. Pushing the growing “SEARCH” folder aside did not help my restless brain stop thinking of the whereabouts of my uncle and aunt. The longer it took for me to find them the more worried I became that maybe they are no longer living. Every single day made a difference in the search.
“Maybe Dad will see Uncle Fred again,” is one of the thoughts and regrets that never left me. My father and Uncle Fred were not able to meet again. We were so close and yet so far. But if I gave up, I would never have met my Uncle and all the cousins that live around the world. Our children would never know their true family tree. It is true that there are still many questions left unanswered, such as, “Who is my Grandfather?” However, there are more that were answered. I made a lot of people happy by not giving up my search when it was leading nowhere. Uncle Fred lived an enormous lie most of his life thinking that his entire family was exterminated in the war. Now he has the truth and some answers.
We cannot rewind the time. But it is possible to give the past a new meaning.
I am thankful for having the opportunity to make so many people at peace with their unmistakably horrifying past.
If you are a reader who is searching for someone, do not give up. You just might find your extended lost family. If I hurt anyone on my way to finding my family, my apologies. I have to admit that if it was part of the search and brought me closer to what was destined, I have no regrets. Never live your life saying, “I should have.” If you want to do something that is significant to you, just do it.
I would like to give special thanks to the survivors who were willing to share their stories so that the past will never be forgotten. Their life mission is that we all stand together regardless of gender, race, religion or disability and to make sure these atrocities will not happen again.
Do not forget but PLEASE forgive.
If I get caught in a moment of sorrow, a thought of “what if,” and relive events that I can not bring back, I learned to shake it off. With some practice, I learned to bounce back to the moment. I miss Tom. Almost every day since he passed he is coming to me in the form of something… a movie, the weather, a day that I struggle to pay the bills, a season, jewelry, regretting he is not here to see his children grow to be wonderful adults, a smell, a ceremony, a certificate, and unfortunately the refusal of buyout by his partner and the wait to a trial date. All of these are part of my past, present, and future. I have a choice to focus on the fact that I have lost the love of my life, my fortune, my security or that I gained a best friend, a new strength, a bright future, a belief, humanity, hope, and success.
Waking up every morning with the belief it is going to be a “Great Day” does not come automatically. That is especially true when there are multiple events in your life that negatively impact your belief system.
The secret is that you, and you alone, are responsible for the conscious thoughts, and thought patterns, that impact your subconscious. They ultimately define who you are, how you treat others, and your daily game plan, as well as how you live every “now moment” of your life.
These conscious thoughts are entirely within your control. Your control, and only your control. Go to bed at night focusing on what you perceive to be the negative events of your day, and you are setting yourself up for the following day when you will feel guilty about the past, and anxiety about the future. Approach life with expectations about others and you will surely be disappointed, as you experience a downward spiral of emotions leading to bitterness, resentment, criticism, blame, and anger.
I choose the opposite path. I urge you to do the same. Flood your subconscious with a positive conscious thought about your own words and actions. Let it flow to your relationships with everyone you meet. Treat them with respect and consideration. Feel it flow back to you in return. A word, a smile, a touch. Replace your expectation with hope. Should that hope fail, treat the situation with dignity, acceptance, and forgiveness.
These are tenets I have used to successfully face the challenges that you have experienced with me in this book. These tenets are the reason why I have learned to TRIUMPH OVER MY TEARS.
You can be sure life will offer you lemons, it is up to you to make the lemonade.
PEACE, LOVE, AND HAPPINESS TO ALL
Triumph Over Tears Page 13
