They weren't going to kill him. He wasn't going to give in. They were trying to induce panic, and it would kill him, but he couldn't give in. If he let death drive his motivations, he would be letting them win.
He searched for the space in between his eyes and nose that would center his focus, and allow him to calm his mind. He didn't think about how anything could come out of the corridors, or that they might give him a test that he couldn't pass. He focused on his heart rate and allowed it slow to a crawl while he forced his breath to slow down. He imagined that every nerve in his body was silent aside from those that would allow him to see, and it worked. He didn't have to think, and he didn't have to struggle. He could simply be, and that was what the situation required. He'd momentarily forgotten his Prana Bindu training, and it almost cost him his life.
He retrieved the knowledge he had of this process. It was kept secret, but they were testing his ability to endure. This test was fear. The first test was determination, and when those thoughts finally hit him, he realized that the situation was completely benign. He wasn't going to be hurt so long as he allowed himself to calm his mind.
There was a hissing sound coming from the walls around him as a cloud of white smoke, lit by the eerie orange glow of the flickering lights, moved through the air. He sucked in air, willing his diaphragm to move as much as it possibly could in order to fill his lungs completely, then he stopped the flow with a quick burst of energy, and searched through his body, applying oxygen as equally as possible so that he could hold his breath longer than the normal person could. The pressure built inside of him slowly, moving through his chest like water pushing against a dam, begging to be released and, finally when it reached his throat, after nearly ten minutes, then he exhaled sharply and when he inhaled, he was immediately knocked out cold.
Chapter 6
The branch that is stiff will not hold up in the wind. It will become brittle and eventually snap, but the young, flexible branch can bend easily and survive any storm.
--Prehistoric Chinese Sage
“Recruits up!” On command three thousand men, housed in the simple carbon fiber warehouse woke from their drugged state and stood at the head of their beds.
Tamil couldn't move. He could barely think. All he could do was perceive the harsh light beaming down on him and the human shaped distortions in space which were moving through the room. They were cloaked members of the recruitment squadron, hiding themselves under cloaks for protection. Should the need arise, they would all be able to instantly transport themselves to the proper location in order to subdue a threat. Tamil was aware, barely, that he was paralyzed and had lost control of his motor functions, though his body was able to move of its against his own volition. He knew where he was and who he was, but the haze from the gas was still hanging over him. He couldn't even protest inside his own mind. All he could do was focus straight ahead and listen to what the commander was telling them.
“Soldiers! You are now my slaves. If I should choose to do so, I could ask you to shove a knife through your heart. The crown that you are wearing has robbed you of all independent thought, and the drugs in your system have made you utterly defenseless to my control. You need this state right now because many of you are still feeling a little scrappy from your training. You will suppress that instinct immediately.” Tamil felt a surge of happiness move down his head and throughout his whole body. It was deliberate and effective, but it didn't overcome him. Instead, the chemical surge the crown had induced felt natural.
Gurneys appeared in front of every bunk, and the soldiers were forced to walk over to their assigned bunks and lay down onto them. They weren't hard like the gurneys in the fear exam. They were padded with carbon foam with headrests and lumber support. As he floated down the aisle, Tamil listened to the sound of the commander's voice. “You will undergo extreme mental and physical modifications which will allow you to become an effective soldier. Your entry into this academy is seen as a waiver of all rights under the Senate Dictum 3 dash 94162.” He had a way of drawing out his words so that it sounded like he was commanding the soldiers even though he was simply informing them.
Tamil understood the process, but he couldn't help but allow a little bit of the fear to set in like a lead weight stuck deep inside his gut. He would never be the same person again. He was dying in every sense because every single molecule in his body would be transformed into something completely different. He wasn't sure whether or not the integrity of his spirit and personality would remain intact. Science had long maintained that all that exists is the physical body, that humans are nothing more than the matter they can see and feel, but long before science even existed, man could sense something greater. He was not his body—he needed to believe that his spirit resided elsewhere, because he couldn't stand the thought of losing it. Perhaps if he could believe it strongly enough then it would be true, but that doubt, which destroys everything was threatening to overcome him when they put the breathing mask on his face.
* * *
Far beneath the icy surface of the Halo moon, tiny creatures had formed not from carbon atoms, like most other life forms in the Milky Way, but from arsenic, which could easily survive in the planet's harsh environment. The Mak were simple balls of icy goo, which could scamper on their seven appendages like spiders, but they evolved into a highly advanced species who ruled the caverns of their world’s subterranean environments. They had two long proboscis on either side of the front ends of their bodies, which they used to eat and manipulate objects. They had also learned to speak through pheromones which they could emit at will through their skin.
Their minds were not as prone to change as a human's. It took them the better part of 10,000 years to make the shift from superstition to objective reasoning, and nearly 30,000 to discover the space beyond their black sky. Much like humans, they believed that they could never travel beyond, that their lives would end and that they would be crossing a mortal boundary that would anger the gods. When they first blasted the tiny hole, their subterranean world watched in awe as the light came out and shone down on the world around them. They had light, mostly from their phosphorous food sources, but to have it pour into their fragile world was a miracle beyond reckoning. Light had long been considered a divine force in the Mak world, regardless of region, and it was seen as a sign of the race's divine ascension.
Their planet cracked open like an egg and they spread forth through their system establishing three other colonies on worlds with above ground atmospheres. They became accustomed to that life, and looked out at the stars in awe every single day, wondering when it would be their turn to discover the rest of the galaxy.
They could feel the vast expanse of space above them, and they wondered what it would be like to travel outside of their system. As a race that grew up in confined quarters, colonization offered them a welcome release from their overcrowded planet and their simple lives.
Life on planet 2 was still very basic. Gan had his breathing apparatus, his garden and his nest, which he'd buried more than six years ago when he left home to live in the warmth, where he hoped to meet a mate and scamper around with his children in the sand. He'd studied for more than 60 years to get to where he was, and all he had to show for it was a vast expanse of dunes and a tiny nest that he could hide in when the wind came. The city was so far that it would be hard for him to make the 3000 mile drive every day, so he simply stayed in his nest accessing information databases and eating.
The entire year had been wasted, and he couldn't allow himself to go on like that any longer. He folded up his nest and made his way over to his transport so he could traverse the frozen desert. It was a arduous journey that he knew would take him nearly 16 hours and he wasn’t looking forward to it at all.. His species had not discovered any alien species as of yet, but his mind often drifted to what they would be like. Would they be hostile? Would they offer them technology, and what form would they take? His species was not concerned with aesthetics—their
eyes were very weak. What they wanted to know, for the most part, was whether or not they would be able to interact with others across the galaxies.
They wanted interstellar trade. Their world was bland, unlike many of the other worlds they had seen with diverse above ground environments, forests and all sorts of different landscapes. Gan had caught on to the explorer’s spirit, which had moved him to find a way to live off planet. He'd put his entire life on the line, but it had worked, and yet somehow he was now he was miserable anyway.
The city was a collection of silver strings with various pods and domes built into them out of the white fiber that made up most of the Mak architecture. He fought his way through a massive crowd of people swarming the streets. It was chaos. Mothers were clutching their children and running. Males were running towards the cause of the scene with shock sticks, ready to kill whatever had caused the disturbance. Gan turned around and started racing through the sands. The last thing he wanted was trouble. He looked over the light blue expanse and thought about what he was going to do that day. The matter of going to town had been decisively resolved. There was no reason for him to worry about it.
He would probably have to lounge around and look over the latest information. He had yet to read about the Forst Retreat. The idea of struggling over the dunes only to wind up in the middle of no where bothered him. He could feel fury passing course through his through his body and his thoughts raced through his head as he found his way to his transport and rushed to the Grand Square. Smoke was rising through the air and the stench of burnt air stung his nostrils.
The crowd was thinning, and many people stood around, and silence passed over them. They looked out to see a massive globe the size of the Grand Square itself open up at the front end, and he thought he saw movement. He drove his transport as close as he could. He did see movement. They were strange and tall. Their entire bodies were white with a globe protruding out the top and four appendages, two for walking and two which just hung down at their sides. They were aliens. The Mak had long believed that they were not the only ones in the galaxy. They had a tendency towards fellowship and collective thinking, so it made sense that there were others, and most believed that aliens existed, but the entire race was shocked and thrown into a frenzy by the historic event. They realized that this was something that would change their lives forever, and their survival rested on diplomacy.
Chapter 7
There was drowsiness, no pain, just the ability to sit up immediately and assess the situation around him perfectly. Tamil could interface with the systems around him, instinctively understanding that he would be required to attend procession in 2 hours after he had fully acclimated to his body, but acclimation was completely unnecessary. He could feel his physical strength quite well and had complete control of his body despite the ordeal. He could feel his senses becoming clearer and drastically heightened. Rather than just focus on something, his ocular implants allowed him to zone in on it. He could hear conversations from miles away, but there was no sensory overload.
Nothing was overwhelming—or strange. It was familiar to him because it had become a part of his body. He could think faster, understand things in a way that would've been considered a threshold form of intuition, but there was no ESP sensation. He was a computer, enhanced to its fullest capability and processing everything with lightning speed and accuracy. As he looked around the room, zooming in on the different gurneys where other soldiers were sitting, he began assessing his reaction to things. His mind was completely intact. From what he could tell, he was the same person, but there was no way to possibly be sure. Many people had always said that such modifications are tantamount to killing off the victim.
A great sadness washed over him when he realized it was a question he would never be able to answer no matter how hard he tried. Instead, he would have to live his life pretending he was the same as before. If he dwelt on it, it would destroy him. Maybe there were tests. If he induced emotions, and they matched would he still be the same person, or would he simply have the same collection of biological data? Would anyone be able to tell the difference. Would others? There was only one person in all the universe that he knew would instinctively sense the difference in him. That’s when he resolved not to see her ever again. He had hoped doing so would be the easiest solution to his situation, but in the end, his emotions were unrelenting. Time and time again he reset his resolve and tried in vain to put her out of her mind, telling himself it was for the best. But regardless of how much it might hurt.her to see him changed, his heart could not let go. Eventually, he had to admit to himself, that he had to see her – he needed to see her
His brain had been given full access to the human data networks as well the ability to receive sensory input directly, through cognitive command, which meant that all he had to do was sense out a neural burst, and he was sitting on his once grand throne, made of knotted wood, and surrounded by a circle of black and purple Lilith flowers with tiny specks of white. He was surrounded by darkness, and a bit of uncertainty rushed through him. What if she was angry or too hurt to talk to him? What if she was too busy?
He lowered his head in shame. He hadn't contacted her like he said he would. Just the few days he'd been away felt like a lifetime, and he was sure that for her, his absence had been completely heart breaking.
He looked down at the flowers and there was a white butterfly, a new addition to their simulation. She'd always loved the tiny fairy sentries that flew around the meadow, tiny creatures which she'd always said resembled the mythic butterfly of the old world. The Bene'Anak would always catch them in the spring time, and there were so many of them that they would fly in tiny swarms.
The butterfly was a symbol of metamorphosis, change, and the ability to grow after a serious loss. They were said to transform themselves when they got older, and that was what it meant to move on from grief, but they also did so after a long period of hibernation. Was she hibernating? Would she come to see him? He wasn't sure, but after twenty minutes, he began to grow impatient, he sighed and started to look around. Could he leave? He sat back down on the throne and added a bit of light to the room, a meadow, through which the butterfly could fly and rest on sweet pink and yellow flowers, and in the middle of the Lilith flowers, he created a flowing heart of vibrant red roses that sparkled in the sunlight.
Just as he was about to turn around and exit through the boundaries, he glimpsed a tiny hare running towards him, which was quickly growing larger and larger until it was Henny covered in a rabbit fur cloak. She ran over and they embraced silently, and they could both feel the tears welling up.
“I waited for you that whole night,” she cried. “Why didn't you come?”
“It was too painful to see the girl I might've lost.”
“You'll never lose me.” She ripped herself away suddenly uncertain and started pacing around. “Have I lost you? Before I ever got to be in your arms?” She stared at him, and he didn't know the answer. Life is funny like that.
“I don't know, but I will do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen.”
“Where are you,” she asked. They both laid down in the grass side by side.
“With the military. I just got enhancements. Do I seem different?”
She lay silently for a moment. She seemed to have gone into a deep trance, but what she was doing was brooding, and wallowing in her fury—Tamil knew that from experience. “You might be dead.”
“I can never be sure, but it's over now, and I feel like the same person.”
“I guess that can't be helped – you’re such a strong man – you will always be you no matter what.” She looked over at him and sighed. “I'm leaving soon.”
“How is that possible? You still have another few months.”
“I have a way. I'll tell you later. When can you come again?”
He thought for a moment and realized that he could access his itinerary which he pulled up instantly on a translucent green square so she co
uld see it too.. He would be reporting for weapons in half an hour, and after that, he would be given a final examination before deployment to the Aster System, where he would be stationed as a routine patrol officer. The entire process would take three days.
“I will be able to return when I am deployed. It won't be long.”
“I will answer as soon as you come back if I can, but if not I will send a message.” She switched off immediately, and he was left with a blank space where he should've been. He didn't get a chance to tell her that he loved her.
Thoughts of her kept floating through his mind, even as he was introduced to the common nano-projectile and energy weapons given to his class. Every detail of her face from the curve of her lips to the small mole above her left eye was sketched forever in his mind and he longed to see her again. He didn't know how he was going to get through his next few days without seeing her, but his time would be taken up with weapons training.
Sojourn Sol (Eternal Sol) Page 3
