by Sarah Thorn
''Thank you, you are very kind. But my Lord, I am not of your class.'' She looked at his Roman nose, and his angular jaw, and she wanted to trace a finger along the scar on his cheek. He gave her the same look as before.
''You are mistaken Jane. You are of the same class as I am. You just don't know it.''
Jane thought for a moment, suddenly frustrated, even a little angry. He hinted at things she had no idea about, and he wanted her to be honest and tell her what he knew. ''My Lord, I must say you frustrate me.'' He looked at her, this time, she could see he did care. ''You invite me here, make me feel terribly special, dance with me, yet tell me nothing. I feel you are keeping me in the dark. None of it makes any sense.''
''I fear if I tell you, you will think badly of me.'' She was flattered that he cared what she thought but didn't care what others thought.
''Tell me, please.''
He wanted to take her in his arms, carry her to his chamber and strip her naked. He was beginning to get an erection at a very inconvenient moment. He hadn't realized when he'd invited her to the ball that he would fall in love with her. He only wanted to right a wrong. A wrong that had wracked him with guilt. Now he was fearful. Fearful when he told her, that she would think badly of him and leave.
''I invited you here this evening to right a wrong.''
''What?'' The alarm in her voice already confirming his worst fears.
''Your late father was wronged by my family in the most terrible way, and I wanted to make it up to you. I would like you to marry me.''
Jane's jaw dropped. What was he saying? Was he using her to alleviate his own guilt? ''Marry me? But you hardly know me.''
''You will marry me and the wrong the Longford family has done you, will be righted.''
''What are you talking about? Do You want to marry me because you feel guilty? I have never heard such nonsense. Marriage, my lord, should be created out of love, not guilt.''
He felt trapped. Now he was in love with her. He hadn't expected to be, and he knew he'd made a significant mistake. He should have courted her gently, piece by piece as if reeling in a fish on a thin line without telling her anything about how her father been wronged. It would have been enough for him to know, she needn't have ever realized.
''Whatever wrong your family did to my late father cannot be corrected by an offer of marriage. That is a shallow thought. I would like to go home now, please.''
The Duke lowered his head.
*****
Dr. Brown knocked on the door. Jane was at home; it was her day off.
''Jane, how is your mother?'' He looked at Jane's face and immediately knew the answer. She had a black eye and a bruise around her neck again.''
''She can't help it,'' she said. ''And she doesn't mean it. It's the rotten illness.''
''Yes, of course.'' Dr. Brown patted her arm. ''Let's go to the kitchen for a moment,'' he suggested. Jane set about making tea, and he sat in one of the Windsor chairs. ''Jane you must be strong, but the time has come when your mother has become a danger to you.''
Jane's eyes filled up, and her lips began to tremble., ''Perhaps a few more weeks?''
''No Jane. I cannot allow it. I am worried about your welfare. I will ask them to come tomorrow from the sanitarium. Pack some of your mother's things. She'll need nightwear.''
''But it's so harsh in those places. There will be a lot of violent people around her. I'm afraid for her.''
''It is not an ideal place, I will give you that. But it is the only place we have, and she can't stay here. Jane, she could kill you, do you know that?''
Jane didn't believe her mother could kill her, but she'd been telling herself for weeks that it was no longer her mother. ''Alright, but it isn't easy to bear.''
''Of course, it isn't. In a way, it's worse than if she had died.'' Jane nodded in agreement.
That evening Jane went up to the bedroom that her parents had used. She opened a wardrobe and took out some night dresses. She went to the chest of drawers and opened a draw that she believed contained towels. She took out three thick towels and put them on the bed, next to the night dresses. She was about to close the drawer when she noticed a cardboard box. She picked it up and saw that it was stuffed with letters. She sat on the bed and looked at the first of them. They were letters her father had sent to her mother. She found out that he'd been an officer in the Royal Artillery and that he'd fought in the French Wars in the early part of the century.
''My love, I hope this letter finds you well. I love you more than I can say, and I thank God that every day that passes is a day closer to being reunited with you.''
Jane felt a lump developing in her throat. Reading about her father was emotional enough, but reading of his love for her mother, at the very moment she was to go into a mental hospital was heartbreaking.
She read some more letters, all of them love letters, with very little news. She found out, however, that her father was on the front line, about to go into battle. There were three letters left in the bottom of the box. They seemed to have been read more than the others. She took the first of them from its envelope.
My love. Please be assured how much you mean to me. Without you my life means nothing.
Usually, I try to protect you from the woes of battle for fear of alarming you. However, I feel it necessary to tell you about what happened today. As you know, I am fighting alongside my good friend the Duke of Longford. We had a terrible time today. Many of our men were killed. It was the most frightening day of my life. Poor John has seen more than he is capable of standing and today he ran from the battlefield in fear of his life. I understand fully why he did so. He was scared, as we all were. Unfortunately, he was captured by our side and accused of desertion, a crime for which men are usually executed.
I will try to explain to the General that he is unwell. I hope I shall be able to prevent his death.
Her father was a hero. How awful it must have been, seeing men slain in front of him. But he hadn't run away. He also had enough feeling to realize that not everybody was able to handle the horror of it all. And her father a friend of the Duke of Longford? She quickly opened the next letter.
My Love. As always I love you. May the days until we are reunited go quickly. Being apart from you is too much to beat at times.
I feel I ought to tell you about John, the Duke, as I left the story unfinished in my previous letter.
By some miracle, I managed to convince General Parker that John is ill, not a coward. John is to be sent back to England on the next ship. He will go back to Fairfax Hall where I hope he will make a speedy recovery.
My love, I hope you are managing at Froome Lodge. It is an awfully large property for you to manage alone, in my absence. I promise you when I return I will assist you all I can. Please make sure all our tenants are looked after in this difficult time. And remember if you need money, Anderson and Jenkins are looking after the accounts.
What was Froome Lodge and who were Anderson and Jenkins? She hastened to the next letter. It was a different color and in her mother's hand.
My darling husband.
I hope you are well. Every day I pray to God that he will deliver you free of injury from the terrible war you are fighting. Know that I love you and always will.
I was very interested to hear your account of the desertion of the Duke on Longford. It was an act of great friendship on your part, speaking to the General and having his sentence commuted. But I fear the Duke doesn't appear to have appreciated it very much. Back here in England, he has spread word that it was you who deserted and he who helped you. Unfortunately, my love, he is a Duke and people seem to believe him. When I go into the village now, people shout insults at me. They call me the wife of a coward and a traitor. Many of the tenants have refused to pay their rent. In fact, my darling, I am at a loss to know what to do. I fear we may lose everything.
Jane gasped. So they had been well-to-do. Her father had been a man of means. It seemed they'd owned an estate of som
e sort. In the bottom of the box, there was a grubby single card in plain gray paper.
Royal Artillery, Woolwich Barracks, London.
Dear Mrs. Glossop,
It is with deep regret that I must inform you that your husband has been killed in action. He died in a battle close to the Belgian town of Allery. He was our bravest officer, and he is a great loss to the regiment.
My condolences
Captain J.H. Auburn.
Why had her mother never shown her all this? Why had she kept it hidden from her? She would never know, but she wanted to find out about Froome Lodge. She put the letters back in the box and put her mother's things into a bag.
*****
The horse-drawn ambulance came the following morning. They put Jane's mother in a straight-jacket. Jane cried, and screamed at them not to do it, but they insisted she was too violent and needed to be restrained. Jane gave them the bag with her mother's things and kissed her mother on the cheeks. Her mother looked at her vaguely. Jane hoped she didn't know what was happening to her.
''I'll come and see you very soon. I love you'' she cried as they slid her into the box like vehicle.
After her mother had gone, Jane sat in the kitchen and wept. Reading the letters had made her realize how much her mother and father had been through. It must have been an awful time. She busied herself rearranging the lounge where her mother had slept. She would turn it into a nice sitting room again she promised herself.
The knock at the door was so loud it made her jump. ''Wait, I'm coming,'' she shouted. When she opened it, the Duke of Longford was standing on the doorstep, his carriage and footmen neatly lined up behind him. A few of the villagers were standing around looking at the spectacle.
''May I come in?'' he asked.
''I have nothing to say to you.''
He wasn't used to rejection. ''I have something to tell you which I think you will want to know about. It concerns your late father and his property.''
Jane considered for a few moments and stood aside. ''It's not much of a house for a Duke,'' she said.
''Perfectly adequate.''
''Come into the kitchen,'' she said. He followed and sat in a Windsor Chair. ''Tell me what you have come to say. I'm busy.''
The Duke was taken surprised by Jane's indifference to him. ''Very well. I have come to tell you what happened between my family and your father.''
''I know what happened,'' she said. ''Your father told everyone my father was a traitor, a deserter. But he wasn't. Your father was.''
The Duke took off his hat and put it on the pine table. ''Yes. That's correct.''
''And you have known about it all these years and done nothing. You let my mother live in poverty.''
''No, that's not correct. I didn't find out until recently. My father never told me any of this. I found out completely by accident.''
''How?'' Jane put her hands on her hips, like an angry mother.
''I asked the estate manager to draw up an inventory of all the properties I own. One on the list was a place called Froome Lodge. It was the only house I'd never heard of, and I was interested to see when it came into the estate.''
''Froome Lodge. That was my father's,'' she exclaimed.
''Yes. Here are the deeds. It's yours again.''
''What?''
''It's yours. It does not belong to my family. It belongs to you. I'm giving it back to you. Along with my sincere apologies.''
Jane stood open-mouthed and looked at the document in her hand. It was new and embossed with her name. A sixteen bedroom house with three thousand acres of land, two hundred and fifty tenants and an annual rental income of twenty thousand pounds. ''What happened?'' she asked. ''Why did my mother give it up.''
This was the part the Duke dreaded most. ''A man who works at Anderson and Jenkins told me the story. When my father spread the word that your father was a deserter, your mother's tenants stopped paying rent. They simply refused to finance a deserter's wife.'' He began to wring the gloves he just taken off. ''Your father was killed very soon afterwards. My father took advantage of your mother then. He told her he would take over the running of the estate and pay her the rental income, less a fee. What in fact he did, was take over the running of the estate and pay her nothing. He stole it from her.''
''But how? You can't just steal a property.''
''Well he did. Remember he was the Duke of Longford and your mother the wife of a deserter. No lawyer wanted to help her.''
''Now it all makes sense.''
''That's why nobody talks to you in the village. And that's why nobody wanted to dance with you at the village Spring Ball. Everyone believes you're a deserters daughter.''
Jane shot him a confused look. ''How did you know about that?''
''I was there.''
''No you weren't.''
''I was. I saw you. On the village green with your friend and you were very upset.''
''Were you spying on me?''
''Yes. I'll admit I was. As I said before, I noticed you one evening in the village. I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.'' Jane blushed. ''I wanted to find out more about you. I thought perhaps you would be attending the Spring Ball, so I dressed as an ordinary farm hand and went to find out if you had a husband or a suitor. When I found out you had neither, I sent you the invitation. It was a mistake I can see that now.'' Jane looked at him; he was no longer so self-assured.
''However, I have corrected as well as I am able, the wrong my father did to you. You have your property back.'' He stood up. ''Anderson and Jenkins are expecting you to contact them. You are rich Jane. I bid you farewell, and I wish you all the best in the future.'' The Duke began to walk to the door.
''Wait. Wait.'' He stopped. ''It must have taken a lot of courage to come here today. You didn't have to give me the property back, but you did. For that, I am very grateful. I.......''
''The idea of offering to marry you was insane. Please forgive me. I don't know why I thought it could ever make up for what had happened.'' He smiled, almost laughed. ''It was a ridiculous idea.''
''Then why did you consider it?''
''Because, Jane Glossop, you are the kind of woman I have always dreamed of. Now, good evening.'' He closed the door behind him.
Jane kneeled down in the middle of the corridor and looked again at the deeds in her hand. She jumped up and ran to the door. The Duke's carriage had gone. Without shoes, she ran over the green and down the road.
''My Lord. A woman is running after us,'' a footman shouted through the carriage window.
''What does she look like?'' the Duke asked?
''Quite beautiful.''
''Stop. Stop now,'' the Duke ordered. He got out of the carriage and stood in the middle of the road as Jane ran, barefoot, towards him.
When she reached him, she was breathless. He waited patiently until she could speak. ''My Lord......I..........I........thought about.............what you said.......about me.''
''What exactly?'' he asked.
''The part when you told me I'm the kind of woman you've always dreamed of.''
''Yes. I'm sorry. Very embarrassing.''
''No, no,'' she was beginning to recover from her sprint. ''No, I liked it. I liked what you said, very much.''
''Well, thank you for telling me. My carriage is waiting, I must.....''
''No, you don't understand. I'm asking you to court me.''
He laughed. ''Court you?''
''Yes, I would like to know you better.''
''Why?''
''Because I too find you attractive in many ways. I would like to know you better. With a view to a future alliance.''
''Do you mean marriage?''
''Perhaps. Yes.''
''Splendid. This has turned out to be a much better day than I thought. Driver, take the carriage back to Fairfax Hall and come back for me in the morning. I will be staying at the inn this evening.''
*****
Jane wasn't sure whether she should o
r not, but her reputation in the village was already poor, and her mother was no longer at home. So she did.
Lying naked under the Duke, she felt truly feminine for the first time in her life. As he made love to her, she held his arms and kissed the side of his face. He whispered loving things to her, his thrusts increasing in intensity. Jane opened to him and wrapped her legs around his strong back. When she felt his body tighten, hers began to shake. Soon she felt a warmth flowing into her and the first orgasm she had had with a man crashing over her.
He didn't want to move from her. He remained inside her for as long as he could, placing kisses on her face and neck. When the moment came, he slipped from her but kept his body intertwined in hers.
They didn't speak for a long time. He broke the silence. ''Your mother has been moved to Fairfax Hall.''
Jane sat up. ''What?''
''I am President of the Board of Governors at the Sanitarium, and although we do our best, it remains a grim place. It pained me to see your mother there. I thought it may be a pleasant surprise for you to know that you mother will have her own room in Fairfax Hall. I have employed a full-time nurse and the services of an expert doctor. I am not saying she will recover, but she will be more comfortable.''
Jane leaned her head on his chest and listened to his heart. ''You're a good man.''
*****
Jane's mother lived for a year in Fairfax Hall before peacefully slipping away. Jane and the Duke married and lived some of the time in Froome Lodge and some of the time in Fairfax Hall. Jane told her children what had happened to their grandparents. Her two boys always fought over which of them would be the brave grandfather when they reenacted the battles he fought in.
*****
THE END
REGENCY ROMANCE - The Time We Kissed
''I found him screwing the hotel maid, can you believe it?'' Jemima said. ''I mean I wouldn't have minded so much if she'd been pretty, but she was a dumpy little thing. Short legs, huge breasts.
