“It’s okay, Vittorio. I understand.” I reached out to cup his face in my hand to emphasize that I was not angry with him.
He leaned in to kiss me, but Samuel interrupted.
“Let’s stay on track, you two. Elena, it’s true. Vittorio has told me of his love for you, and I feel the truth in his words.”
I, too, felt the truth in both Vittorio’s and Samuel’s words. That was something new about my power, if sensing truth really was an aspect of it. I would have to ask Vittorio about that later.
“Okay, fine. I believe you. But I still don’t understand what’s going on. Why are they so threatened by me? And just what is your position in the coven?”
“I am La Guardia, the guardian of the Sacerdote. He trains others, but I am the one he teaches the most secret rituals to in order to carry them on through the generations. Some speculate that I want to take control, but that is simply not true. I do not wish to have that responsibility. The greedy ones do not understand that. Now that you are in the picture, they think I am going to use you to solidify my power and position.”
“But why me? Why would I have anything to do with that? And what’s a Sacerdote?” I stumbled over the unfamiliar word.
“Sacerdote is the High Priest. Sacerdotessa is the High Priestess. It is true I have never been so easily enchanted by any woman as I have been by you, mio amore. You come from nowhere, steal my heart, then we disappear from their sight for nearly two weeks after you come into your power. Most thought your dizzy spell was from alcohol, but some saw it for what it was; our powers acknowledging each other. Those are the ones who started the rumors.”
“Were the three who insulted me tonight any of them?” I didn’t let on that I knew who Elizabeth was. Knowing she was against us caused me to question Samuel’s loyalty. What was his relationship with her?
“Yes, they are the most vocal. And now they will be even more fearful than before.”
“Why?”
“Because of the strength of your power. You should not have been able to control it as well as you did tonight after so little training. Perhaps you could have sent the power out to them, but most would have lost control at that point, and the consequences would have been unpleasant to say the least. But you gave them the slightest taste of your power, then called it back to you. Yes, you were drained afterwards, but you have no idea how powerful a display that was. If I did not know your sensitive, kind nature, I would understand their fear. But while I do not know much about you, Elena, I do know you would never use your power for ill. I know they have nothing to fear, but they do not know you as I do.”
“What do I do now? How do I convince them I don’t care about them? And why are they so afraid of you trying to take over?”
“I do not know the answer to your first two questions. That is what we will have to figure out. For now, I do not think there is much we can do to convince them otherwise. As for why they are afraid of me trying to take control of the coven, now is the perfect time. Our Sacerdote, Clavius, is weakened. The Sacerdotessa, Aerin, who is also his wife, was killed in a burglary of their home a few months ago. He has not recovered from losing her, so if someone is going to try to overthrow him, now is the time. Since I am La Guardia, it would be logical for me to try. They don’t understand that I would never betray him. Now that you are in the picture, they believe you could easily take the place of Sacerdotessa alongside me.”
“I fear a power struggle will rear its ugly head soon,” Samuel said.
Vittorio sighed. “I fear you are correct. I would love nothing more than to simply step down and let them fight amongst themselves. But I have seen their character. I can not in good conscience let any of them take control of the coven. It is not a position I desire, but I desire it to be in their hands even less.” When Vittorio looked at me again, the pain in his eyes nearly broke my heart. “I am so sorry, mio amore.”
“For what?”
“For what you are about to experience. Because of what you mean to me, you will be caught up in the power struggle that is likely to occur.”
“I don’t care about any of that. I don’t want any power in this coven.”
“They will not believe you. If you want to walk away, I will understand. It will break my heart, but it may be the best thing for you. If you leave, and never speak to me again, I will help you find another teacher.” Tears glistened in his eyes.
“No,” I sobbed, surprised to find my own tears. I clung to his hands. “I won’t leave. I love you. I can’t leave you.”
“I told you I would not let any harm come to you. I will do my best, but may not be able to keep that promise if you stay with me through this fight.”
“I don’t care.”
“At least think about it. Please, mio amore. I do not want to see you hurt.” He pulled away from me slightly.
“There’s nothing to think about.”
“Elena, you’re tired. It’s been a trying night for us all. Don’t make any rash decisions one way or the other right now. Vittorio is right. You should at least think about leaving,” Samuel said.
I glared at Samuel. I felt the electric power rising in my body again. How dare he tell me how to live my life? Samuel looked at me in alarm, which was enough to keep me in check. I pushed my power back down, convinced it that Samuel was not the enemy. It receded, but didn’t believe me.
“Very good. Control under emotional stress. I understand why they are frightened of you,” Samuel said.
I thought I saw something less than honorable flicker in his eyes, but it could have just been the tears blurring my vision. Instead, I looked at the pain in Vittorio’s eyes. “I’ll consider it, but I won’t be happy about it. I tell you I love you, and you ask me to leave in the same night. Is Sarah here? I want to go home.”
“You can stay in the guest bedroom if you like,” Vittorio said.
“I’m not very happy with you right now. I’d rather not be here.” I sat back on the couch, arms crossed over my chest, like a sullen teenager.
Vittorio slumped in his chair, and I wanted to apologize, to hold him, tell him I didn’t mean it. But I did mean it. I felt like a fool.
“Very well. Sarah will take you home. I am sorry for any pain I have caused you, mio amore.”
“I know you don’t mean it.” I caved in and let him embrace me before I left. The warmth of his arms almost changed my mind about going home, but I was angry with him. I had to be stronger than that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
I sat at the kitchen table massaging my temples, a cup of coffee cooling in front of me, when Kevin burst through the door the next morning. My inner conflict and guilt was growing stronger every day. Why oh why did I have to fall in love with Vittorio?
“What’s wrong?” Kevin asked when I didn’t look up.
“Vittorio’s coven is about to have a major power struggle, with yours truly in the center of it all.” I took a sip of coffee, making a face when I found it was cold.
I went round and round with Kevin again about getting out and being careful. Eventually he gave up, knowing that when I had my mind set, nothing could change it.
“What did you think of Vittorio?” I changed the subject.
“Hard to say. I was too shocked by your little display of whatever the hell that was. I guess he seems alright.” Kevin shrugged his shoulders.
“At least you didn’t immediately hate him.” I dumped my coffee in the sink and poured a fresh cup.
“What is it about him that you like so much?” Kevin asked for what seemed like the thousandth time.
I tried once again to explain what I still didn’t quite understand myself. “He’s not like any other man I’ve ever met. He seems honorable, which is rare in this day and age. He respects me. And he seems to truly love me.”
“And he’s hot. But don’t you dare ever tell anyone I said that.”
“You know I’ve never been fazed by a pretty face.”
Kevin raised an eyebrow.<
br />
“Yes, he’s hot, but that has nothing to do with why I like him. I feel like I can trust him.”
“And yet you’re lying to him about your job.”
I glared at Kevin. “I’m not lying.”
“You’re not being completely honest, either. If he’s such a great guy, if you really do love him, you should come clean before things go too far.”
“I know, but I don’t know how.” I sat back down at my kitchen table, too weak to stand. Continuing to hid the truth about my job to Vittorio made my stomach knot.
“Just tell him,” Kevin said, as if it were so simple.
“But what if he hates me for it?”
“Then you deserve it.”
Kevin may as well have punched me in the stomach, but I knew he was right. He was always blunt, one of the things I loved and hated about him. “But I was trying to do my job.”
“Your job wasn’t falling in love. Look, Elena, you know I’m here for you, but I hate seeing you like this. And Vittorio seems to make you happy. If he is as good as you say he is, I don’t want you to lose that. You really should be honest with him.”
When Kevin left, I decided it was time to suck it up and call Vittorio. Of course I wasn’t going to leave him. I didn’t want to fight over this, but it was time to be honest, and I thought that would almost certainly lead to an argument. That’s if I had luck on my side. If I didn’t, well, I couldn’t stand the thought of that.
Maybe I could put it off a little longer. If he did hate me for it, he might not help me find another teacher, and as much as I hated having this power, it was necessary to learn how to control it. I had no idea how to go about finding a teacher on my own. It’s not as though I could find someone with power to help me in the yellow pages.
No, that was selfish. I would tell him. Kevin was right; I deserved whatever I got.
“Vittorio, can I come over and talk to you? I’d like to discuss something with you in person rather than on the phone.”
“You are always welcome.” I noted the careful lack of ‘mio amore,’ as if he were certain I was going to leave him and was already trying to put a wall around his heart.
“I’ll be over soon. Bye, Vittorio.”
“Goodbye, Elena.” The word seemed to hold more meaning than simply ending a phone call.
When Vittorio opened the door, I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life.
After a few moments he pulled away. “Elena, are you alright?”
“I’m not leaving you, Vittorio. I don’t want to.”
“Are you certain?” His eyes widened in disbelief.
“You sound like you want me to leave.” Surely he wasn’t going to push me away?
“I can hardly bear the thought of losing you, but I want you to be safe.”
“Safe is nice, but I’d rather be with you.”
He pulled me close again and relief washed through his body and into mine. His power was tinged with apprehension.
“We’ll be fine as long as we have each other,” I said.
“You are absolutely sure you want to put yourself in the middle of all this?” He pulled back and held me at arm’s length.
Since I couldn’t wrap my arms around him, I rested my hands on his forearms. “I told you I’m not leaving you. I love you. And if you don’t stop trying to push me away, you’re going to make me think you don’t love me in return, so why don’t you shut up and kiss me?”
He did just that.
Again, I found myself trying to pull him to the bedroom, and again, he stopped me. I groaned in frustration. “Are you trying to make me lose my sanity with wanting you?”
“Elena, we have discussed this.”
“I know, but you make it so hard.” I pouted.
“I make it hard?” He raised an eyebrow at me, and I playfully slapped his arm.
“You know what I mean. Alright, I guess we better get down to business if we can’t have any fun. What’s the next step in my training?”
Vittorio led me down the hallway into his study as he spoke. “There are now two things I need to teach you, and the sooner you learn, the better. You need to continue working on controlling your power, and more specifically, not draining yourself of energy when you use it. Then, we will work on what you can do with that power.
“I also need to start teaching you the ways of witchcraft, its history, the way the coven works and how its members fit together, the rituals, holidays - “
“Slow down. That’s a lot of information.” My head spun from the prospect of so much information.
“It will be much to take in. First I must ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.” He pulled two chairs to face each other.
I sat. “Alright.”
“Do you want to join the coven?”
Silence filled the space between us as if it were something tangible. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know anything about it, so it’s kind of hard to make a good decision. Can I learn about it before answering?”
“Of course, but if you fight by my side during this power struggle, depending on the outcome, you may not have a choice.”
“What do you mean?”
“I should rephrase that. You always have a choice, but if the outcome is in our favor, it is possible you will have earned a powerful position in the coven.”
“What position?” Why wouldn’t he tell me? What was so bad to require this hinting around?
“It all depends on the outcome. I will explain more as we get into details. Keep in mind you may have that choice to make.”
“I guess you better start teaching me, then.”
For several hours we worked on conserving energy when I used my power. “Imagine that you are dividing your power within you. Only send out a small part of it. If you do this, you may still be a little tired afterwards, but will have plenty of energy left to remain in control of your power. There will be times when you must use everything you have, but those are rare occasions. The majority of the time, using only a small fraction will suffice.”
It took several tries for me to begin to get the hang of this technique. By the time I started to figure it out, I was pretty drained.
Vittorio called an end to training for the day.
“Can I stay here tonight? I want to fall asleep next to you again.”
“Mio amore, you do not even have to ask. I told you, you are always welcome here.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“I want to tell you about my past,” I said as we lay in bed that night.
“I love you for who you are. Whatever is in your past cannot change that.” Vittorio kissed my forehead.
“I’m not saying it would or should, but my past is kind of ugly. I only mean I want you to know me, as I want to know you.”
“Very well then, mio amore.”
I sat up, propping pillows against the headboard. “There’s nothing really exciting to tell before I was fourteen. I was popular in grade school and had a lot of friends. That carried over into my freshman year of high school. I guess I was kind of stuck up. I had everything I ever wanted, and I knew it. I was in drama club, and was the first freshman ever to get the lead in the fall musical. I thought my life was perfect.” I stared at a speck of lint on the blanket, trying to distance myself from the pain of the memories.
“My mom was a music teacher. In November of that year, she went out of town for a seminar that would introduce new methods of teaching music. When she was driving home, she was hit by a semi whose driver had fallen asleep. She was pronounced dead at the scene. My mom was my best friend. I was devastated.”
“I am so sorry, Elena.”
“Oh, there’s more,” I said bitterly. “Turns out my father was having an affair. I don’t think my mom knew. His mistress showed up at the funeral to comfort my father. I don’t know if he invited her. I never bothered to ask. I didn’t say a word to her, but I slapped my father across the face in front of everyone and told him I never wante
d to speak to him again. I told him he had no right to be there and demanded that he leave. That was at the funeral parlor, right in front of Mom’s casket.” I paused, wiping tears from my face. It had been years since I had talked to anyone except my therapist about this.
“At the cemetery, before they lowered the casket, I lost it. I threw myself onto the casket, and they had to pull me away. I watched while they lowered the casket and buried it. I just sat there on the ground, crying hysterically. When the workers finally left, I sat on the fresh earth and apologized to Mom. I told her I was sorry for causing a scene, and pleaded with her not to leave me alone in the world. I realize now how silly that was. It’s not like she was going to come back to life.”
“It is not silly, Elena.” Vittorio cupped my face in his hand.
I gave him a weak smile. “I stayed with a friend for a few weeks. Going back to school was hard. I cried a lot. My so-called friends didn’t understand. They had never endured such a tragedy. They didn’t know how devastating it was, and started to drift away from me, leaving me alone at lunch to cry onto my tray. Everyone in the musical started to hate me, too. Opening night was two weeks away, and my performance was awful. They didn’t have enough time for someone else to learn the part, though, so they hoped for the best.
“On opening night, I refused to come out of the dressing area. That’s when it really hit me that Mom wouldn’t be there for my big night. I didn’t care about the show anymore. I refused to act, and they had to call the whole thing off. That may as well have been the end of my high school career. The musical was a big deal at my school. Any friends who had held on abandoned me at that point. I bounced from relative to relative, staying with each one long enough to test their sanity, and then moving on.” I stopped and tried to compose myself.
“You don’t have to tell me this if it is too painful,” Vittorio said, gently rubbing my back.
Divided (Elena Ronen, Private Investigator) Page 9
