by N. R. Larry
Reaching for the bread, I tore off a corner with my teeth and closed my eyes as I chewed. “Mm.” I opened my mouth and bit off another piece. “I haven’t had actual food in so long.”
She leaned back and gazed at me. “It’s a risk, getting real food these days, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to live off nourishment tablets.”
I finished my bread and wiped my mouth. “Okay, am I worthy enough now to meet this person?”
Her expression fell.
“I’m sorry,” I said in a rush.
She shook her head and stood up. “Don’t be silly, girl.” She paused. “Well, come on. You might as well see for yourself.”
I followed Mrs. Sophie through the house, to the door of what I guessed was a bedroom at the end of the hall. When she paused outside of that door, it was the first time she seemed as old as she was. She was suddenly weary. My heart ached for her. She struggled to open the door, but finally managed it, and then waved me inside.
I peered inside and my heart had never broken so suddenly and completely in my entire life.
* * *
She reminded me of Mirror. Each pound of my heart made me wince in pain. I inched into the room and gazed down at her. She coughed and offered me a small smile. The dimple in the corner of her left cheek made me smile back, despite what I was seeing.
I sat on the edge of the bed, afraid to get too close for fear of hurting her. “Hi there, my name is Lawrence.”
She smiled a smile so bright, I fell instantly in love. No one in this condition should own a smile so bright, and yet, here I was, witnessing it. “I’m Dorothy.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Dorothy.”
Her grin widened. “You have hair like mine.”
I shook my head. I wanted to reach out and touch her mass of curls. “Yours is much prettier.” I glanced down at her. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. She was gutted open, from neck to navel, and covered in thick, bubbled plastic, I guessed to keep the wound, a nice word for it, clean and closed.
Parts of her organs were visible. I started to shake.
“Don’t be sad,” she said in a voice like a bell. “I know, it’s hard to look at me.”
When I stared back into that beautiful, mocha face, my eyes burned with tears.
“None of that, girl,” Mrs. Sophie hissed from behind me. “Can you help her or not?”
Dorothy laughed and shook her head. “They’re all insisting that I’ll live.” Her dark eyes sparkled. “I’m ready to die. I’m ready to see my friends and family again. I don’t want to leave, but I’m ready.”
I shook my head and turned back to Mrs. Sophie. “How did this happen?”
“Animal attack,” Dorothy answered. “My fault. That’s the only thing I regret.”
I blinked. “You regret being attacked by an animal?”
She opened her mouth, but it was Mrs. Sophie who spoke. “It was friendly fire.”
My eyes widened. “One of them did this?”
“Don’t be like that,” Dorothy said, speaking to me as if we’d known each other forever. “I got in the way when Adrian was shifting. It was my fault. And she’ll have to live with the guilt forever.” She sniffled. “And Adrian never lets anything go.” She stared past me, to Mrs. Sophie. “When I pass, you have to make sure she forgives herself. Promise me.”
I was won over.
Mrs. Sophie scoffed. “Quiet girl, you’re not going anywhere.” She rested a hand on my shoulder. “Well, witch? Can you fix her, or not?”
I stared at the open girl on the bed and thought of Mirror. There were so few magical children left. “Of course I can.” I turned to her, shaking with fear, but already determined to proceed. “I’ll need Ty. And then I’ll need everyone in this camp to get the hell out of here.”
Chapter 8
Ty paced in front of me, and every once in a while, he would throw me a look full of frustration. I crossed my arms, and leaned against Mrs. Sophie’s wall, waiting for him to say something. He’d been doing this for the past ten minutes.
Finally, he stopped and gave me a look that was almost pleading. “Can’t you use regular magic?”
I frowned. “It is regular magic.”
He started pacing again. “You know what I mean.”
I sighed. “It’s hard to explain.”
“You’re about to put my entire camp in danger, so I think you should try.”
I almost pointed out that his words suggested he’d already agreed to help me but pressed my lips together instead. “Okay,” I began. “I can use magic without letting the Anchor in, and it’s actually pretty strong magic. I know when I’m outmatched, though.” I stared down the hall, toward the door Mrs. Sophie and Dorothy were behind. Tears burned my eyes as I turned to look back at Ty. “And, well, you’ve seen her.”
He stopped pacing again and stared at me. Biting his lip, he said, “And this is the only way?”
I shook my head. “I can use the herbs I brought, but I’d use them all up. Is there no one else in this camp that could use them?”
His jaw clenched and I nodded. “That’s what I thought.” I sighed. “Not to mention, I would be working days of magic, and she might not have that time.” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “No, I felt her when I was in there, she doesn’t have that kind of time.” I opened my eyes and met his gaze. “The Anchor can do what I can’t in a matter of minutes.”
“The Anchor is dangerous to you, and everyone around you.”
I bit my lip and nodded. “Yes, but I can’t…” A tear tickled my cheek as it rolled down. “I can’t leave her like that.”
His expression fell, and it was the first time he seemed even close to vulnerable. “She’s the only other one in this camp that’s like me,” he said in a voice so far away I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me.
When he didn’t say anything else, I cleared my throat and asked, “Like you?”
He turned to me and nodded. “A pan-shifter.”
I lifted my eyebrows.
He actually smiled. It was a kind, soft smile, and it made me weak in the knees. Nobody had made me weak in the knees in years. “I picked the panther because it seemed the most fitting in these times. I can control that beast the easiest, but I can choose to shift into anything I want.”
My eyes widened. “Impressive.” I stared down at my feet and sighed. “I wish I could control my beast.”
“Maybe you can,” he said in a low voice.
I glanced back up. I froze when I saw the way he looked at me. For a moment, I forgot where I was, and even what I was doing. There was a tenderness in his gaze that I couldn’t handle seeing. I wanted to run from it, and toward it at the same time.
A door creaked open, I shifted my gaze, and the world came tumbling back as Mrs. Sophie trudged down the hall. She stopped in front of us and leaned against her stick. “Well, you two come to a decision?”
I glanced sidelong at Ty. He was still struggling with the idea. I could tell from the way he clenched and unclenched his strong jaw. I squared my shoulders and nodded. “Yes, I’m going to do it.”
Mrs. Sophie nodded. “Good, then.”
Ty stared at me, a defeated expression on his face.
I nodded. “We have to. You can’t leave that little girl like that anymore than I can.”
He stared at his feet, shoulders slumped forward. A rush of both victory and terror surged through me.
“Only one problem,” Mrs. Sophie said, drawing my attention back to her. “We can’t go anywhere, girl. This camp is the safest place for us, and it’s not even all that safe. No way I’m moving these people anywhere.”
I started to argue, but Mrs. Sophie wasn’t exactly the kind of person that lost arguments. So, I nodded. “Okay, then they’ll have to shift and stay in animal form until I’m done.”
She nodded. “That, I can arrange.”
“And what about you?” Ty asked in a rough v
oice.
She smiled. “I’m not worried about anything.” She poked him with a stick. “Don’t tell me you are, tough boy.”
He narrowed his eyes, “I’m not ready to be in the world without your old ass limping around camp, bossing everyone around.”
She laughed so hard she slumped over into a violent cough. Ty went up behind her, and rubbed her back, smiling and trying to get her to calm down. It was a moment so tender, I wanted to be a part of it, a part of this. A part of him. Finally, he looked up. “Alright, Soph. I’m not telling you what to do, but go to the others and have them shift. And tell them, I said they are to protect you with their lives.”
She snorted. “Go to hell.”
He narrowed his eyes.
“Don’t give me that look, boy. I’m old. I’ve lived more than three hundred years. These young people aren’t giving their lives for me.” She laughed and shook her head as she hobbled to the door. “Protect me with their lives,” she mocked under her breath, barely loud enough to hear. “Most of them young ones haven’t even had a decent orgasm, and you want them to die for an old woman.”
She was still muttering to herself when she ducked out the door. I turned to Ty with a smile. “I can see why you like her.”
There wasn’t a hint of amusement on his face. He was staring at me with such a grave expression that I wanted to comfort him. “If you’re going to pick a time not to fuck up,” he said to me in a low voice, “now is the time.”
I nodded. “And if there was ever a time to trust me, now is the time.”
“Do you trust me?” he asked, putting the question to me a second time.
I stared at him. His interaction with Mrs. Sophie sailed into my thoughts. Finally, I shook my head. “Nah.” I shrugged. “Let’s do this anyway.”
He almost smiled.
* * *
I stood outside of Dorothy’s door, with Ty at my heels, and my heart sprinting in my chest. I can do this, I kept repeating to myself. I have to do this. My thoughts went to the Underground. To Mirror. She would get along famously with Dorothy. I imagined Dorothy shifting into a butterfly for Mirror’s amusement, and Mirror taking an old toy of Dorothy’s, revealing its history with her special touch.
My dream was to live in a world where that interaction could take place in broad daylight instead of in hidden camps and underground hiding places. I shook myself, and the picture in my head dissolved, leaving only what I was about to do. I took a deep breath, held it, and then let it out.
“As soon as that wound is closed up, you get this crystal back on my neck,” I whispered to Ty without turning around. “When I use a certain amount of power, I don’t… I mean it doesn’t like to be bound up again.” I turned my head slightly. “If things get out of control, you take me down, any way you can, got it?”
He nodded without hesitation.
“And if you don’t think you can handle it, run.”
He nodded again.
This time I turned, grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at me. For a moment, he stared at my mouth as if he were considering kissing me. It threw me off, and for a second, I forgot what I was going to say. I shook free my thoughts. “Ty, I’m serious.” I gazed into those bright eyes. “It’s dangerous. If you can’t get it under control quickly, run. And tell everyone else to run.”
He nodded. “Let’s do it.” He twisted his head. “You ready?”
I nodded and then turned around. After another deep breath, I lifted the hair off my neck. His rough fingers brushed against my skin as he removed the crystal. Without being able to help it, I shivered.
Then his lips were at my ear. “Listen, try to come back without making a fucking scene, alright?” His words were harsh, but his tone was tender. Once again, I shivered.
Then I forced myself to forget about him. About Dorothy. About Mirror. About everything. I braced myself and stepped aside so that the Anchor could take over.
* * *
I resided in a small corner of myself, able to tell what was going on, but having no real control over my body’s movements. I stepped into Dorothy’s room, and she looked up. A smile crossed her face, and then she raised a thin, perfectly arched eyebrow.
“You look like Lawrence, but you aren’t her,” she said in a small voice.
Inside, I was impressed by how astute she was. My mouth opened, and the Anchor replied with, “I am everything Lawrence can never be.”
Dorothy frowned. “No, she’s everything you can never be.”
The Anchor used my mouth to frown. “How did this happen to you?”
She pressed her lips together, obviously refusing to talk.
“Just do your thing so we can get rid of it,” Ty muttered from behind me.
I turned and glared him into silence. Then I turned back to Dorothy, who was staring at me like I was a monster under her bed.
“I don’t need your words,” I said, gliding forward, my feet not touching the floor. My hand hovered over her, and she let out a gasp, as I pulled memories she didn’t want me to see out of her head.
Dorothy, her head in piggy tail puffs, ran up to a pretty, waifish figure. There was a loud snap. The sound of bones breaking. Someone yelled from the distance for Dorothy to get back, but by then it was too late.
The shifter turned into a larger-than-life panther and clawed the girl almost to bits. It took the entire camp to put her back again.
When I pulled my hand back, Dorothy was huffing.
“What did you do to her?” Ty asked in a pointed voice.
The Anchor ignored his question and stared down at Dorothy. “You are a powerful, girl. I’m going to restore you.”
Dorothy gulped. “I don’t want—”
Without waiting for her to finish her sentence, I waved my hand over her body. The bloodied plastic that kept her insides intact was stripped away. I used my other hand to keep her organs from spilling out.
Dorothy gasped, tears brimming in her dark eyes. Then her body began to shake. The Anchor pulled magic out as easily as I flicked my finger.
Dorothy began to scream. After a few seconds, I could no longer hear her. Or see her. I only saw what needed to be fixed. I worked with razor focus, mending her organs and replacing her skin with magical grafts.
As the Anchor was finishing, I clawed my way to the surface, trying to make it easier for Ty to get that crystal around my neck. I felt the moment Dorothy was whole again, she lay on the bed, a healthy little girl again. Still, there were tears in her eyes. I fought through the storm of magic and turned to Ty.
Only, the Anchor sensed what I was doing, and she laughed. “That thing isn’t going back around my neck.”
Ty’s jaw stiffened. Inside, I started screaming at him to run. I felt its intentions. He had to run. He had to run now. Instead, he stepped toward me. I jerked my hand up and stopped him. His face reddened as he tried to get out of the Anchor’s magical hold.
I wanted to scream at him that it wouldn’t work. He strained, sweat breaking out all over his body. With each passing second, the Anchor beat away my will, but I kept fighting.
“Lawrence,” Ty said with a shudder. “Don’t fuck this up.”
My lips curled up into a smile. “I never get to have any fun.” The Anchor homed in on the image of Adrian stolen from Dorothy’s thoughts. I shook my head and clicked my teeth. “One should never attack one’s own kind.”
Ty grunted. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
I eased forward so that there were only inches of space between us, and caressed his cheek. “I won’t. I’ll only do what you’re too afraid to do.” With another smile, I brushed past him, toward the door.
Behind me, Ty filled the electric air with a storm of curse words. The Anchor ignored him, and then opened the door, taking in the mild, night air. Still focused on Adrian, the Anchor forced me to utter the words, “Come to me.”
Within minutes, Adrian stood before me, wide-eyed and s
hivering.
I tilted my head to the side. “What kind of coward harms a child?”
She opened her mouth, but I wouldn’t allow her to speak. Reaching through her skin, I latched onto her blood. Then I made it boil.
Her screams filled the night. I smiled, or rather, the Anchor smiled, breathing in the screams like vital oxygen.
Behind me, a tiny throat cleared.
The Anchor turned around and peered down at Dorothy. “So sorry about this, new friend,” she said, reaching her arms back and swinging forward.
Something crashed into the side of my face. Lights erupted in my vision, washing everything away into blackness.
* * *
Throbbing in my temples punched me awake. I groaned, blinking into the darkness, and forced myself to turn around on my back. Whatever I was lying on was surprisingly comfortable.
“Welcome back,” a bitter voice said from my right side.
Slowly, I turned my head to take in a blurry Ty. He pointed at my bags, which were at his feet on the floor. “Well, everyone wants you gone.”
I blinked again, trying to make sense of what was going on. Swallowing what felt like grains of sand down my throat, I forced myself to sit up. As I did, the painful memories of being the Anchor rushed back to me.
I sighed and then tried to rub the pain out of my head. After a few moments, I turned back to him. “Is she okay?”
He stared back at me with an unreadable expression. “Who?” he finally asked.
I frowned. “Adrian. I remember…” I shook my head. “Dammit.” I punched the mattress underneath me. It was then that I realized I was back in Ty’s slightly cleaner stone house.
“She’s fine. Just pissed.” He sighed. “Like I said. They all think you’re dangerous. They want you gone.”
I nodded. “Makes sense.” I closed my eyes, took a breath, and then opened them again. Turning to him, I said, “I know this is the worst time to ask for it, but I need your help.”
He lifted an eyebrow.
