by N. R. Larry
He smiled. “Because I want my first kiss to be with Lawrence.” He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear. The gesture made me want to kiss him even more. “I want it to be with all of you.”
I narrowed my eyes. “That seems unfair.”
He held onto me for a little longer and then backed away. “We only get one first.” Then his expression changed. He was back to business. “It’s your turn.”
“My turn to what?”
“To shift, so to speak.”
Fear rushed back into my system.
“It’s okay to be afraid.”
I held myself still and surrendered to the fear. Everything that could go wrong shot through my thoughts. For a moment, I was frozen. After several minutes of standing there, I tapped into that fear and took it.
It was mine.
“Focus on that desire,” he said to me in a husky voice. “Only that desire. If you don’t want it to happen, it doesn’t exist. But anything you want, you can take. Right now, in this moment.”
My heart pounded. “Just grab onto one drop.”
“That’s right, beautiful. All you need is a second of strength.”
I nodded. And then I started to step aside.
No, that was wrong.
I stopped.
I opened myself up to the power.
To my power.
The stunning power of Spirit.
The air around me stilled as if some mystical pause button had been pressed. I felt the power roll in and out of me in waves. I couldn’t grab it. The fear tried to press back. I didn’t fight it. I should be afraid of what I was capable of. That fear could keep me safe.
It would keep me safe.
I struggled for almost an hour while Ty stood with me, patient. A rock.
And then, when my body felt so tired I felt I would drop to the floor, when my emotions were so tangled, tears were running down my face, I grabbed onto it.
A single drop of water.
The wind responded to it. My cuffs shattered into a dozen pieces. The ropes snaked around my body until they were a pile at my feet. Control started to slip away fast. I started to shake.
“I can’t hold onto it.”
Ty grabbed me and pulled me close. “Don’t give up on me, Lawrence. You can do this.” He stared into my eyes. “You are this.”
Trembling, I dove back into myself and wrapped my hands around that power. I held it, let it swirl in the palms of my hands. The Anchor isn’t real, I repeated to myself. This is me.
This is me.
I gazed out at the world and saw it anew. Everything was focused into points of energy that could be used to create new realities. I looked up and shot a bolt of power into the dark sky, channeling the spirit of water.
Seconds later thunder rumbled and the sky lit up with lightning. Rain pelted against my skin, and I started to laugh. I twirled around and around until I grew dizzy, feeling much like a child again, discovering what magic could do for the first time.
When I stopped, I swayed on my feet, and Ty was there to catch me. I smiled up at him, but his expression anchored me to him. In that moment, I knew that look was worth fighting for. It might even be worth dying for.
I opened my mouth, shaking, but not cold. “Kiss me, Ty.”
He wrapped me in his arms so tightly, it was almost as if he were afraid that if he loosened his grip, I might get away. Power rippled across my skin, begging to be used, but his grip helped to focus me, to keep me grounded.
He leaned in closer. Our noses touched. My eyes slid shut. Then our lips touched, and it was more than a kiss. It was like being shocked back to life. A gasp filled my lungs, and my body sealed itself to his. His hand went to the back of the neck and pulled me even closer. His lips parted mine so that he could explore the whole of my mouth.
I let him.
We stayed like that, in a carved-out period of time that felt like it was created just for us. I stood there, being washed clean by the rain and being made even more human from that kiss.
And because I was human, I had something to fight for.
With a shudder, I pulled slightly away. “I don’t think I can hold onto it anymore,” I said.
He nodded, seeming to know right away what I was talking about.
His brought his mouth closer to mine again. “Then hold onto me.”
And I did.
* * *
I don’t know how either one of us managed to pull out of that kiss, or even who was the first person to break away, but there we were, back in the warehouse with Douglass, sitting on the floor across from him.
I glanced sidelong at Ty. His eyes were trained on Douglass. I got the feeling he was trying to sort him out. To pick up his scent, or something. With a sigh, I swept my gaze back to my friend. He was still staring out at the empty space in front of him, not speaking. He’d been in this position for the last fifteen minutes or so.
While he looked like himself physically again, that stare worried me. It was like he was someone desperately trying to see, only to find darkness at every turn. I wanted him to speak. To say anything.
Power crashed against my bones and I gasped, reaching for my crystal.
It wasn’t there.
My gaze darted to Ty. He lifted an eyebrow, pulled my crystal out of his pocket and shook his head. I narrowed my eyes, ready to argue, when he pocketed it again. Clearing his throat, he said to Douglass, “You want to talk to us now, man? You hungry? Thirsty?”
My power tried to lash out again. I pinched the skin on my neck where my crystal usually rested, and reminded myself I was in charge of this power, not the other way around.
Inching forward on my knees, I reached for my friend’s hand. He didn’t even spare me a glance. “Douglass,” I said over the throbbing in my head. “Can you tell us where you were? What happened to you? To Katie and Zed?”
He stared.
“We don’t have time for this,” Ty muttered.
My gaze cut to him. “Have some sympathy.”
“I have all the sympathy in the world,” he said. “But you heard the mayor. We don’t have a lot of time. We need to come up with a plan.”
I sighed, squeezing Douglass’ hand. Staring into his eyes, I said, “D, it’s me. You have to talk to me. Katie and Zed are still in danger. I need you to help us. I need to know what kind of situation we’re going into.”
He barely blinked. Frustration rushed through me, and again, the power clanged around in my skull. Something shifted. My hand grew warm. “Douglass,” I said in a different tone. “I need you to speak.”
His eyes snapped toward me like a child’s toy being turned on. I backed away slightly. His dark eyes narrowed.
“Um, Lawrence—” Ty began.
Douglass’ tongue jetted out of his mouth. His lips twisted, and he shot me a pleading look. “They took us to Camp D first.” He said it in such a way that I knew he didn’t want to talk. That something about the words were physically painful. “For days there was no food. No light. No nuthin’.” His head jerked and his lips pressed together. His large form began to tremble.
“Lawrence. Whatever you’re doing. Stop it,” Ty hissed.
I reached inside of Douglass with my magic, and came up against a kind of resistance I’d never felt before.
If I really pushed, I could pull the barrier spell back―but I didn’t.
“Then Mister Mayor came. Took us to his house. There was witches there. They call ’em white witches, the best kind. The good magic. Only, the magic they done wasn’t so nice. When they finished I couldn’t eat. Sometimes, I couldn’t see. Always they wanted to know, who is Lawrence Kincaid, where is she, what is…” His eyes shot open and begged. He grunted, and his lips twisted again. “Whatever you’re doing,” he said it as a cry. “Please stop it.”
My skin burned hotter. Tears fell down my face. “I’m sorry, Douglass.” I reached in deeper.
His head
jerked back and a howl was ripped from his lips. But I knew I had to keep going. There was something in there. Something dark. Something bad.
Ty’s hands were on my shoulders, shaking me. I ignored him. All of my focus was on Douglass, who was now rolling around on the floor, his hands balled into fists at the sides of his head.
Sweat dripped into my eyes.
“Lawrence. Stop this. Listen to my voice. You can control this.”
I stopped moving so suddenly Ty’s eyes widened slightly. Douglass had gone still as well. I wrapped my power around a black block at the base of his brain and pulled. Black smoke rushed out of his nostrils, mouth, and eye sockets. His breath hitched, and then I let him go.
As soon as the power was tucked back inside of me, I rushed over to him and placed a hand on his forehead. “Douglass. Douglass, are you okay? I’m so sorry.”
His eyes were glazed over as he looked up at me. For several moments he stared at me with a stony expression. Then his cracked lips parted, “I can’t tell you how good it is to see you. Thank you.” He tried to sit up, only to let his head fall down into my lap.
“Just take your time,” I said, running my fingers through his hair.
“I’ve taken enough time.” He stared at me, his expression hard. He seemed in that moment, like my old friend. “Thank you for removing that curse. Now, if you don’t mind, I want to go see how those bastards stand up against my magic.”
* * *
It was well into the night, after Ty had fetched us food and water, after Douglass had taken a few moments to himself to get himself together, we stood around that empty warehouse, listening to his story.
“What they’re doing is dangerous, Lawrence,” he said in a grave voice. “Pitting witches of one color against witches of another.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“More propaganda. Witches with fair complexions logically do white magic. Witches with darker complexions, practice the dark arts.”
Ty snorted.
I shook my head. “That’s ridiculous.”
“They took us into bedrooms, regular bedrooms, that were made to feel like cages. They spelled us until our speech was affected, until all we knew was that we were bad, that we deserved to be there. It wasn’t that they starved us, they made us feel unworthy of food.” His body shuddered. I’d never seen Douglass this frightened. “They started to plant thoughts that the only way to be saved was to live that way, and to get others to do the same.”
My gaze snapped to Ty. “They’re taking the will to fight.”
Douglass nodded. “But all the mayor wants is you. He knows about the Anchor. Knows it can’t be controlled. The Party is making you the new face of everything dangerous and impure.”
Tears rimmed my eyes. “Katie and Zed?”
“Still alive.” He shook his head.
I had to turn away. I knew that expression. It meant we might find them alive only to wish their captors had the heart to kill them outright.
“What’s security like?” Ty asked in a low voice.
“Guarded by shifters. They’re like an army, they answer to one guy. They only call him Alpha.”
I turned back around as the color drained from Ty’s cheeks. “What? You know the name?”
He stared at me, a strange expression on his face. “He’s pretty much well known to everyone,” he said in a bitter voice.
“Inside is protected with all kinds of magical enchantments. Strong magic, Lawrence. Strongest I’ve ever felt. I don’t know how many witches are protecting the place, but I wouldn’t put much past them.” He sighed. “We might have to bring up backup from the Underground.”
I pointed at him. “No. Matter of fact, I don’t want you involved in this either. You’re going home.”
He grunted. “With all due respect, boss. I’m not going anywhere.”
There was a beat of silence.
“He’s right, Lawrence. Don’t be stupid. We need all the help we can get.”
“You’re not the only one that has lost someone,” Douglass added, giving me a hard look.
My heart hitched in my chest. I swallowed. “Is there even a point in arguing?”
They both shook their heads like a machine whose gears worked together. I sighed. “Fine.”
“I’ll get back to the camp, bring my people here.”
I nodded. “Fine, fine. We meet back here in, what? An hour?”
He shook his head. “No, tomorrow, this time.”
I stared at him. For some reason, the thought of being away from him for that amount of time set me on edge. I immediately reached for my crystal. He pulled it out of his pocket with a smile. “I’ll give it back when all of this is over.”
I bit my lower lip.
“We need time to prepare our people.” Ty sighed as he placed my crystal safely into his back pocket. “Some of them might not get out of this alive.”
I nodded, an imaginary lump forming in my throat. Ty half smiled and then nodded his head at Douglass. “You mind giving us a minute, man?”
Douglass stared at me with a surprised look. I nodded, and he sauntered out of the room, leaving the two of us alone. Ty closed the distance between us and stared at me.
“You’ve got this,” he said.
I nodded.
“You don’t need any tools,” he went on.
I nodded again.
He smiled. “That was a hell of a kiss.”
My cheeks burned in response. He leaned over and whispered into my ear, “I can’t wait to kiss you like that everywhere.”
A shiver ran through my body. Here I was, about to face almost certain death, and he was putting sex on my brain.
“Dammit,” he said, kicking the ground.
“What?”
“I’m not sure how to walk away from you,” he said, his gaze and voice lined with tenderness.
I smiled. “I could walk away first.”
For a moment, his expression made him look younger, hopeful, like a young boy. “Would you?”
For some reason, that made me laugh. I made a show of putting one foot in front of the other. Behind me, a whistle echoed in the air. I shook my head, and forced myself to keep going, to not turn around. When I got to the door, Douglass was beside me, I turned around in time to see a black streak flash across the room.
Ty was gone, and I was heading home.
Chapter 17
My hold on Douglass slipped, and his grunts of pain echoed behind me as I went tumbling through the rocky tunnels of the Underground. Skidding into a cliff face, I came to a stop, and Douglass crashed down on top of me.
Air jetted out of my lungs. “Ugh.”
Footsteps echoed from every corner of the Underground. Voices swarmed us. Questions. “…have you been?” “…Katie and Zed?” “.... thank Gaia…. Back!”
Douglass rolled over and dusted himself off. I curled myself into a ball and pressed my fingers to my temples. The ground started to shake. Bits of rock and debris began to rain down on me and a large crowd swiftly gathered around.
“You okay, boss?” Douglass muttered into my ear.
I grunted and waved him away, staggering to my feet with my eyes closed. “Back away,” I muttered, trying to contain the waves of power lashing out at my surroundings. “Back away!”
The buzz of speech only grew louder. It made my skin itch, made me want to do away with all of them for a second of silence. Someone reached for my arm and shook me.
And I lashed out. Opening my eyes, I found Mirror frozen, still as stone. Her dark eyes were wide and peering up at me in fear. I darted my gaze around like a caged animal. It wasn’t only her. Everyone was frozen. Everyone was caught in the grip of my magic.
Breathing hard I tried to step out of the feeling. I wanted to let them go. Footsteps trailed toward me. I darted my gaze toward the noise.
There was Aubrey, staring at me with that ever-neutral expre
ssion on her face. Her eyes dropped to my neck, and then back to my face. She stepped forward, unaffected, and grabbed my arm.
“The Anchor is out,” she said in a low voice.
I stared at her, unsure of how I felt in that moment.
“Where is the crystal?”
I licked my bottom lip. “With a friend. It isn’t the Anchor, it’s me. I just—I needed quiet.”
She nodded, and as usual, I had no idea how she felt. She stepped closer. “Well, Lawrence. These are your people. They’re happy to see you.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “You need to let them go.”
I gasped for air and a shot of magic burst out from me. The tunnel rippled and more debris fell from the ceiling, coating everyone in dust. Their gazes scanned me up and down, and their mouths flopped open and closed like hungry fish.
I sucked in the magic and tucked it into a corner of myself. It made my skin feel tight, but for the moment, I was in control of it. “I’m sorry.”
Aubrey cleared her throat and took me firmly by the arm. “Everyone go back to what you were doing. I will update you within the hour.” The full sentence wasn’t even past her lips before she was dragging me down the tunnel, leaving the din of whispers behind us.
Within moments, I was in my old room, among my old things. I sat on my bed and noticed my old book of shadows was opened to a simple spell for protection. My gaze flickered over to Aubrey.
She glanced at the book, and then back at me. “I know it’s personal., I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not,” I said, still breathing hard. Holding on to this power was like trying to hold onto a tidal wave. I wasn’t as confident as Ty that I could control it on my own. “What were you doing with it?”
“Magic.” She stepped forward and sat across from me. “They needed comfort, that’s not naturally my thing.”
I actually smiled. “Did it work?”
She shrugged. “I think the act of trying something worked. I am glad to see you back, though.”
My smile disappeared. “You might not be for long.”
Her narrow shoulders squared. “What’s been going on?”
I nodded and held up a finger. “Give me a moment.”
We sat there in comfortable silence. I wanted to enjoy being around my oldest friend for as long as possible. I started flipping through the book, scanning the earliest spells my mother had taught me. Those memories flooded back, poked at my power, causing joy in one instant, pain the next.
