by Tamika Brown
“What’s wrong? Are you all right?” he asked as she put distance between them, confused about her reaction.
“No, no, I’m fine. Just let me go to the bathroom for a second.” She ran into her office bathroom, slammed the door shut, and locked it. She didn’t want him following her in there.
She turned the water on at the sink and bent down to splash her face. She glared into the mirror at herself, coaching herself, telling herself to get a grip.
“If you don’t get a hold of yourself, he’s going to notice his child. And then, where would we be?” she whispered to herself in the mirror.
At that moment, a swift kick to her belly almost doubled her over. She glanced down and smiled, but it quickly turned into a grim frown as she remembered how Calen missed all this, because of her. She knew he would probably want to be a part of this pregnancy, but she couldn’t take the risk. They lived in different worlds. They were so far apart, on opposite sides of the country.
How would they ever make something like this work?
CALEN
She had been in there a while and Calen was getting a little worried. He didn’t expect her to break down the way she did. It was a total shock to him, and he immediately wanted to comfort her. He couldn’t stand it if she was hurt. He definitely didn’t want to be the cause of her pain.
Calen began to rehash the moment.
Shayla had never really been too emotional as far as he could tell. She was passionate, sure, but this episode seemed to be a little overboard. She felt good in his arms, and for one brief moment, he noticed a difference right before she jerked away from him.
He briefly grazed her stomach; it didn’t seem as if she had been working out lately. He knew Shayla to be an avid exerciser, but it seemed she had let that part of her life go since she had been back in Denver.
Suddenly, flashes from last night started coming to his memory. The way she was dressed, the sparkling water, how full her face was, and then when he tried to undress her, she insisted that she keep the camisole on.
He really didn’t pay attention to it all at the time. He was just glad she was speaking to him; she was responding to him. It was so obvious to him, now.
How could he have been so blind, so stupid? Shay was pregnant and trying to hide it from him.
A wave of anger washed over him, and he instantly wanted to kick the door open. He thought better of this, seeing as how he didn’t want to be escorted out of the building, especially since he didn’t have all the facts about the pregnancy yet. He breathed in deeply to regain his composure.
Shayla was still in the bathroom. Calen walked to the door and spoke through it. “Are you all right? I can get someone to help, if you want.”
She politely declined, stepped out of the bathroom and right into his waiting arms.
Luckily, the blinds were drawn in her office. Otherwise, the whole floor would have seen the all-consuming kiss he planted on her. She shook in his embrace, her knees shaking, and she clung to his shoulder before she fell.
With a moan of surrender, she kissed him back, falling against him as she released all her passion for him in that kiss.
When Calen pulled away from her, she was the one standing with the confused expression on her face.
“I’ll walk out of here right now. I won’t bother you ever again. Just tell me now, tell me you don’t love me, that you don’t love us together,” he demanded.
She reared back from the hostility in his voice. Her lips parted, about to say something, a denial maybe, but when she opened her mouth, “Yes,” came out. “Of course, I love you. I already told you so.”
He stared her straight in the eye, his face twisted in anger. “Then, why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
Shayla gasped. An audible whoosh left her body like all the wind had been knocked out of her. She lowered herself to the couch in her office. “How?” Her hand covered her stomach, and now that he watched for it, he recognized the telltale bump. “When…?” She stared up at him, a plea on her lips. “Please don’t be angry.”
“How can you ask me not to be angry? You kept this from me for months!” Heat started to come back to Calen’s face. He was beyond angry. He was furious, and he didn’t mind letting her know.
“I’m sorry Calen,” she blurted out. “I didn’t know how you would take it, I was a-a-afraid.” She started to sob.
“Afraid. Afraid of what, Shayla? I had a right to know. How long have you known about the pregnancy?” He was yelling at the top of his lungs, but he didn’t care who heard him at that point. He wanted to voice his opinion on the matter. “You were wrong to make that kind of decision,” he gritted out. “I never would have believed you’d do something like this. I took you for a kind woman, not cruel. This shit right here, Shayla, is cruel.”
He continued to glare at her as if he had no clue who she was anymore. He believed her to be the woman he fell in love with all those months ago, but maybe, she wasn’t.
He sighed, and she quietly watched him. Her eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears. “I really hope you have a legitimate reason for leaving me out of the loop.”
If there was, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be privy to it, to be honest. He wrestled with himself for a moment, not watching her, but waiting to listen to what she had to say.
Trying to get some type of grip on the situation, he said as calmly as could be expected, “Why would you do this? There has to be more than just you were scared. That, I refuse to believe.” He could hear his voice escalating the more he spoke, trying to rationalize the situation. “Let’s hear it!”
“I’ve known since the day after I got back from North Carolina. But what was I going to tell you for? You didn’t love me. I was determined to have this baby without you knowing about him or her. I wasn’t going to put myself into a relationship that was one-sided. You did not love me!” she screamed through the tears.
The words rang through the room and fell between them.
“What do you think I’m doing here? I called. You didn’t answer. No returned calls. I actually had to come to Denver to talk to you before you would hear anything I had to say. So, whose fault is this?” Calen’s rage wasn’t letting up. He was dangerously close to losing control of the situation and his anger.
It took everything he had not to advance on her. He wanted to grab her by her shoulders and shake some sense into her.
Her reasoning for keeping his child from him was not registering with him. “I don’t understand this at all. It doesn’t make sense. Once again, it’s cruel and hurtful. What were you going to tell him or her about me when he got old enough and started asking about me?”
“I would tell him the truth.”
“Whose truth?” he screamed. “Yours?”
She didn’t answer, and he didn’t know her. He was right; she had changed since North Carolina. This was not the woman he fell in love with.
But all the yelling wouldn’t do either one of them any good. “I just can’t believe you would keep something this important from me. Love or not. Isn’t telling me the right thing to do, Shayla?”
Needing to get a grip on his temper, Calen turned his back to her and walked toward the window to gaze out at the Denver skyline. A knock at the door pulled both of them out of their thoughts.
Shayla already knew it was. “Yes, Janice?”
“Miss Blackwell, is everything alright in there? I heard raised voices,” she said with concern through the door.
“Everything’s fine, Janice. Thanks for asking.”
Shayla remained seated, and in the window’s reflection, Calen observed her watching him, waiting with anticipation and dread of his next onslaught of words.
After a few minutes, he finally felt calm enough to restart the conversation. He turned back to her. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me and not taking my phone calls? You didn’t want to tell me you were pregnant?”
Shayla only nodded.
“All the peculiar manneri
sms and the way you were dressed. You were trying to hide it.”
She nodded again, even though it was not a question, but a statement of the facts.
The reality tore him to his core. “Why did you believe you needed to do this? Are you afraid of me?”
He had to admit he wasn’t taking this well. He was furious, and she reminded him of a deer caught in headlights, unsure if she was safe or if she should run out of her office screaming bloody murder.
As if reading his mind, Shayla said, “I thought you would reject him, reject the fact the baby was yours because you don’t know me well. We spent those few weeks together. But, Calen, I assure you, I haven’t been with anyone else. I haven’t even dreamed of being with anyone else, only you. Calen, the baby is yours.”
Hearing those words from the woman he loved did something to him; they pierced the wall he put up around his heart and his soul. He went to her and engulfed her in his arms as if he would never let her go. All the anger and the betrayal melted away, and he started to reassure her.
Silent tears spilled from both of their eyes.
“I would never do something like that. I would never reject you or our baby. I thought you would’ve known.” He held her at arm’s length to peruse her and his baby, then pulled her against him again and whispered into her ear, “I love you, and nothing will ever change that. I probably loved you the first time I glimpsed you standing on the patio in North Carolina. I knew even then you were special.”
He caressed her cheek, wiping a tear away in the process, and gazed into her rich brown eyes as if trying to pour his stirred-up emotions and love into her right then so she would believe him.
When he was satisfied she had taken in enough of his aura, he finally spoke about the baby. “So, you kept saying him. It’s a boy, huh?” he half whispering, half cried into her ear.
“Yeah, it’s a boy. I found out last week,” she said, smiling.
They stood together like that for a long time, in one another’s arms before Calen finally said, “Let’s get you out of here and fed. We still have a lot to talk about.”
She grabbed for her coat and went out to talk to Janice.
As Calen followed, the woman’s head swung from him to Shayla with concern on her face. “Are you sure everything is all right? I’ll call security if he’s bothering you.” She threw a pointed glare Calen’s way. “I can tell you’ve been crying and all the yelling and screaming…”
“No, Janice. I promise, I’m fine. I’m taking the rest of the day off and working from home. Don’t forward any of the calls, though. If it’s important, call me on my cell.”
Waving goodbye to the woman, Shayla left with Calen.
22
Shayla
In his car, Calen followed Shayla to the Café. It was a popular restaurant, and it wasn’t too far from her office building, which was a relief to her because she was starving.
Lunchtime was extremely busy, but Shayla hoped they could get a seat on the patio. Luck would have it, there was a table left.
Calen hurried around to pull her chair out and help her out of her jacket, then joined her in the seat across from her.
The waitress came over and asked for their drink orders.
Calen ordered for the both of them. “A sparkling water with lemon and a whiskey, please. Thanks.”
The waitress wrote the order down and left to give them time alone.
Calen leaned forward, his expression concerned. “How have you been doing really, dealing with this on your own? I hope it hasn’t been too stressful.”
“Oh, I’ve been fine. I haven’t had any complications so far. Not even with high blood pressure. But you’re right, it has been stressful trying to keep the secret from you and from the people I work with.”
“I can imagine. You said earlier that I was a distraction to you. How so?”
“Calen, really?” She exasperated. How could he even ask that question?
“I’m serious. I want to know,” he encouraged.
“I’m like butter around you. Have you not noticed? It’s been like that from the beginning. I get flushed when I’m with you. You remember I had to have alcohol in me the first time to even ask you if you were married.” She chuckled and finally gazed into his eyes, only to find him shaking his head and laughing, too, as if remembering that night; the first night they made love.
His expression became serious. “Is that when you believed it happened? When we conceived him?”
Before she could answer, the waitress came back with their drinks and took their orders. Grateful for the break in conversation, she used the chance to find her bearings and answer his question honestly.
She took a few sips of her water before she answered him. “I honestly think it was the night you left. But it never occurred to me something like this could happen. Not until my mother said something.”
At the mention of her mother’s name, Calen’s eyes widened, and he almost choked on his whiskey. “You talked to your mother about this, about us?”
“Of course, I did. Well actually, she noticed something different about me and asked if we used protection. I guess it was obvious to her we had sex,” she bluntly said.
Their food arrived, and Calen looked relieved for the interruption in the conversation. Was it weird to him for her mother to know intricate details about their love life? From the tension, which seemed to leave his body when their food arrived, she would say so.
While they ate, they talked about other, less serious things.
Halfway through, Shayla’s phone ranged. She glanced at the I.D. and recognized her friend’s number.
She gave Calen an apologetic glance as she answered. “Hey, girl, what’s up?”
“I wanted to check on how you were doing since you bailed this morning.”
“Oh, I’m fine. Sorry about all that,” she paused. “I’m having lunch with Calen.” Her revelation met silence. “Hello, you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m still here, a little surprised is all,” she recovered. “I think you should know he questioned me about you this morning.”
“Oh, really?” She glanced at Calen.
“I didn’t tell him anything about the baby. I don’t think it was my place, but I do believe you need to tell him. He really loves you, Shay. He was so pitiful this morning. But, anyway, I wanted to call and check on you.”
“Well, thanks for not doing that. You’re right it wasn’t on you, and I shouldn’t have put you in the situation. I apologize, but thanks for checkin’ in on me. Love ya, girl.” She hung up the phone.
“That was Tela?” Calen asked.
“Yeah, she was checkin’ in on me. Making sure I was all right.” She took a sip. “You grilled her this morning?” She eyed him, but it was clear she didn’t intimidate him.
“I didn’t grill her, not like I normally would. I don’t think she’s the type of woman who would take too kindly to that type of treatment.” He gave her a smile which reached his eyes.
She returned his smile. “You’re exactly right, she wouldn’t. So, what exactly did you ask her?”
“First of all, I asked her what her intentions were with Bryce. He’s my best friend, and I didn’t bring him with me to get trampled on,” he said.
Shayla stared at him wide-eyed, surprised he would be so blunt with Tela. Most men wouldn’t dare confront her that way.
“No, you didn’t.” Her eyes widened with wonder. “What did she say? She cussed you out, didn’t she?”
She waited for his answer with anticipation. She knew her friend, and if she did anything but cuss him out, it was because she respected Calen.
“Actually, she said to me, in a very nice way I might add, Bryce was old enough to make his own decisions. He could handle anything she could dish out, and I should mind my own damned business.”
“She said that to you?” A laugh came to her lips.
“Yeah, I figured she was only being polite because of my relationship with you, because
she was definitely holding back what she really thought.”
“Oh, you’re right because you were supposed to be put out of your misery.” She laughed. “What else did you ask her?”
“Nothing really only what was up with you? But, of course, now, I don’t have to pry it out of her, because I know,” he adamantly said.
The conversation dwindled down, and they ate the rest of their lunch in companionable silence.
The lunch was wonderful, and Calen agreed to follow Shay back to her house.
She felt like she needed to be somewhere familiar, on her own turf, before their pleasantries turned back into what he really wanted to know. Where they went from here?
She visualized what their conversation would be like once they were behind closed doors again and braced herself for what was to come as she pulled into her driveway, her frustrations bubbling to the surface again about the whole situation.
Before she could reach for her door handle, Calen came out of nowhere to open her door and help her out of the car.
“I can get out of my own car, you know. I’ve been doing fine without you for five months,” she vehemently said, not really meaning to be defensive.
Calen ignored her and continued to help her out the car, obviously not willing to back down. He had enough time to stew on the drive to her house, as she did.
Their truce was about to be over.
Once inside, they went to her enclosed deck overlooking a pristine lake and woods as far as the eye could see. Shayla always liked it out here. It had such a calming effect on her, and she would definitely need her wits about her to deal with Calen right now because even though he was trying to hide it, he was still angry with her.
The nice lunch together was not enough to make him forget the situation they were put in. He would want his answers.
They both sat for a long while in silence, neither one of them wanting to set the other off. But someone had to get the conversation going, or they were never going to solve their problem.
Thankfully, she didn’t have to.
