by Tia Fielding
“It wasn’t a flashback, not really,” he said quietly. “I didn’t see anything, just….”
“Something surfaced in another way?” Seth murmured.
“Yeah. I know who it was about, though. I remember who used tea tree oil.” Unbidden, a tremor went through his whole body. “It’s just so fucking ironic that this happened right now, after she warned me about the triggers.”
“Hey, who the fuck knows how these things go? You might’ve been triggered many times before, and probably have been, but maybe it wasn’t anything bad enough to cause a reaction.”
“I suppose,” Leaf admitted. He did sort of remember moments when smells or tastes had caused his mind to flicker into the past, but it had never been about… the man.
He leaned back into Seth unconsciously, seeking comfort from him. Seth didn’t wrap his arm around Leaf like he normally would, but pressed right back, showing he was there for support.
“You might want to call Dr. Reynolds in the morning. Just tell her where you’re at, what happened, and how you feel after a night’s rest,” Seth suggested.
Leaf made an affirmative noise. Now that his heartbeat had normalized again, all the energy he’d had just vanished. “Can you take Weasley? I need to get undressed before I sweat to death.” He aimed for levity but didn’t quite make it.
Seth gently extracted the kitten from Leaf’s neck.
Leaf untangled his feet from the blankets and got up. He took his jeans off and pulled his sweater over his head, then climbed right back in. “Much better,” he murmured, knowing he should’ve gone to brush his teeth and maybe shower, but hated the idea of going into the bathroom right then, where that scent might still linger.
He dozed off, only to startle awake when Grace pressed her nose against his hand.
“I’m fine, girl. Go sleep with your baby,” he murmured, and gradually drifted back to sleep.
He didn’t notice Dev coming to bed and staying on the other side of Seth all night, and when he woke up in the morning, both of the other men were gone.
Chapter Thirteen
DEV SAT on the porch with his coffee mug. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt as horrible as he did right then.
He didn’t want to eat anything, and he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. He was guilty as fuck for triggering Leaf, despite the fact that he couldn’t have prevented it. There was no way he could’ve known this tea tree oil, something he’d used for stubborn pimples since he was a teenager, would trigger Leaf so badly.
Sighing, he burrowed deeper into his sweater and wondered if he should contact his therapist. He hadn’t had an appointment in a while, and though he now handled his therapy via Skype since Dr. Mayer was back in Anaheim, he had strict orders to contact the clinic for an appointment when he needed one.
He sent a text to Dr. Mayer’s clinic, asking if there might be available slots in his schedule in the next couple of days.
The door behind him opened, and Leaf came out. Dev tensed, the feeling of shame and guilt rushing over him like a tidal wave.
“Hey,” Leaf rasped in his morning voice. “Good morning.” He walked behind him to the other chair, and on the way, he placed his hand on Dev’s neck to squeeze it gently. Like he always did.
This time, Dev tensed up.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Leaf sounded worried.
Dev shook his head and relaxed just a little when Leaf removed his hand.
“Dev, love, it wasn’t your fault,” Leaf murmured, obviously catching on to what bothered Dev.
He snorted bitterly and shook his head. He picked up his mug, just to notice it was empty and set it back down.
Leaf used the moment to his advantage and grasped Dev’s hand gently. “Sweetheart. Look at me.”
Dev could feel his anxiety rise but allowed the touch. His body was starting to send mixed signals, and he didn’t like it. The anxiety made the back of his neck and shoulders feel tingly, and he wanted to pull his hand out of Leaf’s grasp. It was just so good to have that skin contact. He forced his gaze away from the table and to Leaf. Up his chest, then higher, until he was looking into Leaf’s eyes.
He wasn’t sure of what Leaf was seeing in his expression, but Leaf’s eyes held sadness.
Leaf clearly wanted to say something, but then decided against it and got up, never letting go of Dev’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go inside. I want to sit with you.”
Dev left the mug behind, even though it would annoy Seth to find it there when he came home from work, and followed Leaf like a puppet.
Leaf took him to the couch, sat down, and pulled Dev next to him. Then Dev was hugged close to Leaf’s wide chest, strong arms wrapping around him. “I would never blame you for something like this, Dev. You need to know that. None of us can control these things or know them beforehand.”
Out of the blue, a sob bubbled up from Dev’s chest. He burrowed closer to Leaf, no matter how undeserving of the comfort he felt.
“It’s okay. Just let it out,” Leaf whispered, and Dev did just that, breaking down in Leaf’s arms.
He wasn’t sure what he was crying for, but he knew it wasn’t just last night. He guessed part of it had to be about the fight with Angel. He knew how cathartic a good cry could be, and their parents had always told Angel and him that men cried, too, when they felt like it. That the whole “boys don’t cry” mentality was bullcrap and harmful to all people.
He didn’t know how long he wept, but suddenly Leaf chuckled, his chest moving under Dev’s head.
“I’ve never seen poor Grace so conflicted before. She doesn’t want to leave Weasley, but she wants to come comfort you,” he explained, and Dev smiled.
“I’m okay, Grace,” he promised, and the dog gave an audible huff.
“She settled back down.” Leaf moved one hand to the back of Dev’s neck, and this time it didn’t feel awkward. The thumb rubbing the skin behind his ear was good and calming too. “If I make something to eat, will you?” Leaf asked after a while of silence.
“Yeah, I think I could eat something,” Dev said, his voice raspy from the crying.
“Okay. Whenever you’re ready, you go clean up and bring me a new shirt.” Leaf’s tone was gently amused.
Dev groaned. Then, after mulling over his thought, he said, “At least I didn’t quite have a panic attack?”
Leaf huffed. “Yeah, I suppose there’s that.” Then he got more serious and looked at Dev. “Sweetheart, you know it was horrible, for both of us. No, don’t shake your head at me. It was horrible for both of us, for different reasons, but still. You’d never hurt anyone on purpose, Dev, I know that. I can see your heart every time you talk to anyone in this house. You love all of us, and you wouldn’t hurt us on purpose. So, when you’re ready, can you try to let go of the guilt, because there’s no need for it?”
Dev dropped his gaze and sighed. Then he took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, and exhaled. “Okay. Thank you.” He looked at Leaf, then. “I love you, and I’m sorry.”
“I know you are. I love you too. Go clean up. I’ll cook up something good, okay?”
IN THE afternoon Seth came home and seemed relieved to find that Dev and Leaf were okay. They walked the dogs together, all three of them, and got a couple of funny looks along the way. It was fine, though. Dev didn’t feel insecure anymore. Last night and that morning had proved to him that they could overcome everything, even though some guilt still lingered somewhere deep inside.
When they got back to the house, there were two missed calls on Leaf’s cell, which he preferred to leave behind whenever he went on walks with someone around the neighborhood. It was his way of respecting the company he was with, Dev thought, and he couldn’t agree more with the sentiment.
“Shit, I’ve gotta call them back. It’s Annie’s shelter, and Alex,” he explained and vanished to the study.
“Annie runs one of the shelters here in town. A really good one,” Seth explained as he and Dev went to
make some coffee together.
“What do you think it is?” Dev was worried now.
“Probably some poor dog or more than one that need behavioral assessment. If they call Leaf, it seems more serious to them than the regular stuff.”
They doctored their coffees, and Seth wisely made a travel mug for Leaf in anticipation.
When Leaf came from the study, he looked serious.
Dev beat Seth to it. “What is it?”
“Abuse case. Cops went to check out a complaint and found five dogs. Two of them had to be put down, but three are still fighting, one of them harder than he should.” The frown marring Leaf’s features had strength and determination in it, and Dev smiled slightly.
“Go check it out. We’ll make dinner, and you can call us if you run late, okay?” Seth said, getting up from his seat. He went to kiss Leaf and pointed at the mug. “Take that with you. You’ll need fuel.”
Leaf smiled at Seth and Dev beautifully before coming to kiss Dev too. “Maybe you two should have some fun while I’m gone,” he suggested in a quiet, husky tone.
Well, that was certainly an idea Dev could get behind, and based on the blush on Seth’s cheeks, he’d heard the suggestion and wasn’t opposed to it.
“Go help the poor doggies,” Dev said, grinning at Leaf.
“I’m going, I’m going. I’ll call you later if needed,” Leaf promised, and left the house with his coffee in tow.
Dev grinned at Seth, enjoying the way Seth ducked his head as he sat down to finish his coffee. Yeah, maybe some alone time with Seth would be good.
As well as they seemed to match on an emotional level, Dev still didn’t know for sure that the physical side was completely where it should be, ideally. He wanted to be there to give the men what they couldn’t get from each other, yes, but also to be exactly who he was himself, in sexual situations. Some things he hadn’t gotten to explore yet were the mild daddy kink he suspected both he and Leaf shared, and the rougher side of Seth, who craved being dominated just a bit.
“So, how about we finish the coffee and go take a nice nap?” he asked, winking at Seth. There wouldn’t be much napping involved in the program, for sure.
Seth grinned a bit, then nodded. “Sure. I could do with a nap.”
Somehow, it took very little time for them to finish their drinks and head upstairs. The dogs and Weasley were all resting, which made it possible for Dev to completely concentrate on Seth and, hopefully, vice versa.
As soon as they got to the bedroom, Seth whirled around and collided with Dev’s chest. They were kissing before Dev made the conscious decision to do so, the way their teeth clanked and the sting on his lip where Seth nipped it making their combined need obvious.
They got undressed, barely letting go of each other or stopping the devouring of each other’s mouth in the process. It was frantic, more than Dev had ever experienced, and he was pretty damn sure nobody who knew Seth professionally would’ve thought he had this side to him.
“On the bed, facedown,” Dev grunted when they were naked.
Seth scrambled to obey, his body moving in a way that revealed his excitement. The long limbs and surprisingly fit body begged to be touched, tasted, and Dev had a plan.
He straddled Seth’s thighs and leaned to nip at the skin of his shoulders and neck where he could reach. The harder he bit him, the breathier Seth’s sounds became.
“I think I’m going to fuck you, Seth. Would you like that?” he husked, rocking his hips against Seth’s ass.
“Oh…. God, yes…,” Seth moaned and turned to look at Dev. “Please?”
“If you say stop, I’ll stop. If you can’t speak, tap me wherever you can reach, okay?” Dev needed to make sure they were on the same page at all times.
“Yes, of course.” Then he looked at Dev and added, “Thank you.”
Dev didn’t want to think that someone out there hadn’t taken precautions with Seth. As wild as Seth could get, he was a sensitive man underneath, and Dev couldn’t imagine a situation where Seth would be comfortable without clear rules.
He reached for a condom and lube from the bedside table, thrusting enough to let Seth feel his rigid cock against the cleft of his ass. “Soon, love,” he promised when Seth let out a whine. “Need to open you up first.”
Dev did that efficiently, deciding that taking his time could wait. Seth was desperate for something wilder, the illusion of uncontrolled sex, and Dev was there to give it to him.
He rolled the condom on, then smeared lube on his cock and slowly pushed in. He hadn’t stretched Seth enough for it to be completely painless, which seemed to rev Seth’s engine something fierce.
“There you go, taking my cock so well,” Dev said, then laughed. “Not that it matters. As long as you do take it, I’m good. And hey, you don’t get to come until I say so, so settle in.” He smirked, hoping he’d sounded as confident in his words as he’d meant. He wasn’t a dominant, just improvising here, but he knew enough to hopefully make it good for them both.
As soon as he was fully seated inside Seth’s body, he rolled his hips, then used his palms to spread Seth’s asscheeks, and did it again. “There, just a little bit deeper…,” he murmured thoughtfully, as if he wasn’t considering Seth at all, only his own pleasure. He rocked his hips languidly at first, then faster, and finally, when he felt like Seth’s body could take it, he fucked him as fast and rough as he could.
The sounds he was punching out of Seth were whimpers. Pained, perfect sounds that spoke only of the pleasure coursing through their bodies.
Sweat gathered on Dev’s brow, and he could see some on the small of Seth’s back, glistening in the bedroom lights.
He slowed down for a while, leaning to kiss Seth’s neck, then bit him roughly on the meaty part of his shoulder. Seth howled, the sound pure animal lust than anything else, and Dev chuckled.
“Time to turn around,” he told Seth and pulled out.
He waited as Seth scrambled to turn, his coordination shot to hell. The way his pupils were huge, his face and chest flushed, and his cock almost purple with how hard it was all told Dev all he needed to know. Except….
“Listen to me,” he said, waiting for Seth to focus on his face. “Are you listening?”
Seth nodded, looking a bit dazed.
“If you want me to stop, what do you do?”
“Say stop,” Seth answered.
“Or?”
“Tap you.” He tapped Dev on the arm.
“Good. You might need the latter soon,” he said, then elaborated. “I’m not confident enough to choke you, but I will put my hand over your mouth and nose. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”
“Okay,” Seth said, and moaned long and low when Dev suddenly thrust back into his body.
For a moment Dev fucked him just like that, finding a good angle to peg his prostate every now and then. It was amazing, being inside Seth like this, and he felt a bit stupid for not having made time for this before. Then again, being ready for this was definitely different from being ready for something less rough.
He picked up the pace again, making it fast and hard almost immediately. The slap of skin on skin filled the room, and Seth was whimpering continuously now, getting louder every time Dev moved the grip he had on Seth and squeezed. Dev was pretty sure there would be fingerprints on Seth come tomorrow, and he hoped it wouldn’t be too much for Leaf to see.
When the telltale pressure and tingle began in his body, he slowed his hips and settled on top of Seth. He leaned his weight on one hand by Seth’s head and started a dirty grind of his hips, occasionally pulling back and slamming in as hard as he could.
Then he looked at Seth until he focused his gaze on Dev’s face and nodded. He lifted his free hand and waited for Seth to take a gulp of breath, then put his palm over his mouth, high enough to be able to squeeze his nose shut too. And then he snapped his hips as hard the position allowed.
“One hand on your cock,” he said. “You can come
whenever you want.”
He knew Seth was close—his inner muscles had already constricted a few times on Dev’s cock—but somehow he’d held off.
But now was different. Dev counted in his head, just in case, then slammed inside Seth five times, lifting his hand on the last thrust.
“Come on!” he ordered, moved one hand to Seth’s chest and pinched his nipple violently.
Seth howled again, coming all over them both, his ass squeezing Dev’s cock like a vise until the contractions forced him to slide out.
Seth’s expression was blissed-out as he pushed back inside his oversensitive body. Then he quickly fucked him for a dozen grinding thrusts and fell forward as he came almost violently.
Seth petted his hair and back when Dev finally managed a deep enough breath for proper brain function again. “That was amazing, honey.” Seth looked at him like he’d hung the moon or something.
“Good to know.” Dev smiled at him, then kissed him on the lips and carefully pulled out. Even so, Seth winced, and Dev frowned. “Sorry about that.”
“No, it’s a good hurt. Although I don’t think I’ll be up for being fucked in the next couple of days.”
Dev got up to go get something to clean up with and take care of the condom. “Hey, do you think Leaf will be upset if there are bruises? I did handle you pretty damn roughly. That’s why I didn’t go with spanking or something else that might’ve left marks. I hope the breath control was okay as a substitute?”
“Oh, it was great. I felt safe and like you were in control. As for Leaf, I don’t know.” Seth seemed to give it some proper thought, and when Dev was wiping him down, he said, “I don’t think he will, actually. I mean, it’s probably not something he likes much, but it’s more about doing it to someone than seeing the proof we’ve done it, you know?”
“Yeah, makes sense.”
“In any case, we need to do this again at some point when we’re alone in the house. I’m so fucking happy we found you,” Seth stated with enough emotion to make Dev feel a bit emotional as well.
