Most thought I’d just disappeared from post-battle trauma. Mia’s next question completely shocked Lissa.
“Why didn’t you go with her?”
“What?” Lissa stammered. “Why would I do that? Rose dropped out. No way am I going to.”
“Yeah, I suppose.” Mia turned speculative. “You guys are just so close-even without the bond. I assumed you’d follow each other to the ends of the earth and figure out the details later.” Mia’s own life had gone through so much upheaval that she took that kind of thing in stride.
That weird, fluctuating anger I’d been feeling pop up in Lissa every so often suddenly reared its head and turned on Mia. “Yeah, well, if we were so close, then it seems like she wouldn’t have left in the first place. She’s the selfish one, not me.”
The words stung me and clearly shocked Mia. Mia had a temper of her own, but she sat on it and simply held up her hands in an apologetic way.
She really had changed. “Sorry. Wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything.”
Lissa said nothing else. Since my departure, she’d beat herself up about a lot of things. She’d gone over and over things she could have done for me before or after the attack, things that might have made me stay. But it had never occurred to her to go with me, and the revelation hit her like a smack to the face. Mia’s words made her feel guilty and angry all at the same time-and she wasn’t sure who she was the maddest at: me or herself.
“I know what you’re thinking,” said Adrian a few minutes later, once Mia had led Jill away and promised to meet up later.
“What, you read minds now?” asked Lissa.
“Don’t have to. It’s written all over your face. And Rose never would have let you go with her, so stop agonizing over it.”
They entered the royal guest housing, which was just as lush and opulent as it had been when I’d stayed there. “You don’t know that. I could have talked her into it.”
“No,” said Adrian sharply. “You couldn’t have. I’m serious-don’t give yourself one more thing to be depressed about.”
“Hey, who said I’m depressed? Like I said, she abandoned me.”
Adrian was surprised. Since my departure, Lissa had been more sad than anything. She’d occasionally been angry at my decision, but neither Adrian nor I had seen such vehemence from her. Dark feelings boiled within her heart.
“I thought you understood,” said Adrian, with a small, puzzled frown. “I thought you said you’d-”
Avery suddenly interrupted, giving Adrian a sharp look. “Hey, hey. Leave her alone, okay? We’ll see you at the reception.”
They were at a point where the groups had to split, girls going to one part of the lodging and guys to the other. Adrian looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he nodded and headed off with Reed and a couple of guardians. Avery put a gentle arm around Lissa as she glared at Adrian’s retreating figure.
“You okay?” Avery’s normally laughing face was filled with concern. It startled Lissa in the same way Adrian’s moments of seriousness always startled me.
“I guess. I don’t know.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over what you could have or should have done. The past is gone. Move on to the future.”
Lissa’s heart was still heavy, her mood blacker than it had been in quite a while. She managed a tight smile. “I think that’s the wisest thing you’ve ever said.”
“I know! Can you believe it? Do you think it’ll impress Adrian?”
They dissolved into laughter, yet despite her cheery exterior, Lissa was still struck by Mia’s offhand comments. They plagued Lissa in a way she hadn’t thought possible. What really bothered her the most wasn’t the thought that if she’d come with me, she could have kept me out of trouble.
No. Her biggest issue was that she hadn’t thought of coming with me in the first place. I was her best friend. As far as she was concerned, that should have been her immediate reaction to my departure. It hadn’t been, and now Lissa was racked with even more guilt than usual. The guilt was all-consuming, and she would occasionally transform it to anger to ease the pain. It didn’t help much.
Her mood didn’t improve as the evening progressed, either. Not long after the group’s arrival, the queen hosted a small reception for the most elite of all visitors who had come to the Court. Lissa was quickly discovering that the queen always seemed to be hosting some party or another. At one point in her life, Lissa would have considered that fun. She no longer did, at least not when it came to these kinds of parties.
But keeping her dark feelings locked up, Lissa stayed good at playing the role of nice royal girl. The queen seemed happy that Lissa had a “suitable” royal friend and was equally pleased when Lissa impressed other royals and dignitaries she was introduced to. At one point, though, Lissa’s resolve nearly faltered.
“Before you leave,” said Tatiana, “we should see about your guardians.”
She and Lissa stood together with a group of admirers and hangers-on who were keeping respectful distances. Lissa had been staring vacantly at the bubbles in her untouched champagne and looked up with a start.
“Guardians, your majesty?”
“Well, there’s no delicate way to put this, but now, for better or for worse, you’re without any protection.” The queen paused respectfully. “Belikov was a good man.”
My name naturally didn’t come to her lips. I might as well have never existed. She’d never liked me, particularly since she thought I was going to run off with Adrian. As it was, Lissa had noticed Tatiana watching with some consideration while Avery and Adrian flirted. It was hard to say if the queen disapproved. Her partying aside, Avery seemed a model girl-save that Tatiana had wanted Lissa and Adrian to eventually get together.
“I don’t need any protection right now,” said Lissa politely, her heart clenching.
“No, but you’ll be out of school soon enough. We think we’ve found some excellent candidates for you. One of them’s a woman-a lucky find.”
“Janine Hathaway offered to be my guardian,” said Lissa suddenly. I hadn’t known that, but as she spoke, I read the story in her mind. My mom had approached her not long after I left. I was a little shocked. My mom was very loyal to her current assignment. This would have been a big move for her.
“Janine Hathaway?” Tatiana’s eyebrows rose nearly to her hairline. “I’m sure she has other commitments. No, we’ve got much better choices. This young lady’s only a few years older than you.”
A better choice than Janine Hathaway? Not likely. Before Dimitri, my mother had been the gold standard by which I measured all badassedness.
Tatiana’s “young lady” was undoubtedly someone under the queen’s control-and more importantly, not a Hathaway. The queen didn’t like my mom any more than she liked me. Once, when Tatiana had been bitching me out for something, she’d made a reference to a man my mother had been involved with-someone whom I suspected might be my father, a guy named Ibrahim. The funny thing was, the queen had almost sounded like she had once had an interest in the guy too, and I had to wonder if that was part of her dislike for my family.
Lissa put on a tight, polite smile for the queen and thanked her for the consideration. Lissa and I both understood what was going on. This was Tatiana’s game. Everyone was part of her plan, and there was no way to go against her. For a brief moment, Lissa had that strange thought again, of something Victor Dashkov had once said to her. Aside from his crazy killing and kidnapping schemes, Victor had also wanted to start a revolution among the Moroi. He thought the power distribution was off-something Lissa occasionally believed too-and that it was wielded unfairly by those with too much control. The moment was gone almost as soon as it came. Victor Dashkov was a crazy villain whose ideas deserved no acknowledgment.
Then, as soon as courtesy allowed, Lissa excused herself from the queen and headed across the room, feeling like she was going to explode with grief and anger. She nearly ran into Avery as she did.
“God
,” said Avery. “Do you think Reed could embarrass me any more? Two people have tried to make conversation with him, and he keeps scaring them off. He actually just told Robin Badica to shut up. I mean, yeah, she was going on and on, but still. That is not cool.” Avery’s dramatic look of exasperation faded as she took in Lissa’s face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Lissa glanced at Tatiana and then turned back to Avery, taking comfort in her friend’s blue-gray eyes. “I need to get out of here.” Lissa took a deep, calming breath. “Remember all that good stuff you said you knew about? When is that going to happen?”
Avery smiled. “As soon as you want.”
I returned to myself, sitting there on the curb. My emotions were still going crazy, and my eyes were fighting off tears. My earlier doubts were confirmed: Lissa didn’t need me anymore… and yet, I still had that feeling that there was something odd going on that I couldn’t quite put a finger on. I supposed her guilt over Mia’s comment or spirit side effects could be affecting her, but still… she wasn’t the same Lissa.
Footsteps on the pavement made me look up. Of all the people who might have found me, I would have expected Abe or maybe Viktoria. But it wasn’t.
It was Yeva.
The old woman stood there, a shawl draped over her narrow shoulders, and her sharp, cunning eyes looking down at me disapprovingly. I sighed.
“What happened? Did a house fall on your sister?” I asked. Maybe there was a benefit to our language barrier. She pursed her lips.
“You can’t stay here any longer,” she said.
My mouth dropped open.
“You… you speak English?”
She snorted. “Of course.”
I shot up. “All this time you’ve been pretending not to? You’ve been making Paul play translator?”
“It’s easier,” she said simply. “You avoid a lot of annoying conversation when you don’t speak the language. And I’ve found that Americans make the most annoying conversation of all.”
I was still aghast. “You don’t even know me! But from the first day, you’ve been giving me hell. Why? Why do you hate me?”
“I don’t hate you. But I am disappointed.”
“Disappointed? How?”
“I dreamed you would come.”
“I heard that. You dream a lot?”
“Sometimes,” she said. The moonlight glinted in her eyes, enhancing her otherworldly appearance. A chill ran down my spine. “Sometimes my dreams are true. Sometimes not. I dreamed Dimka was dead, but I didn’t want to believe it, not until I had proof. You were my proof.”
“And that’s why you were disappointed?”
Yeva drew the shawl more tightly around her. “No. In my dreams, you shone. You burned like a star, and I saw you as a warrior, someone who could do great deeds. Instead? You’ve sat around and moped. You’ve done nothing. You haven’t done what you came to do.”
I studied her, wondering if she really knew what she was talking about. “And what is that exactly?”
“You know what it is. I dreamed that, too.”
I waited for more. When it didn’t come, I laughed. “Nice vague answer. You’re as bad as any scam fortune-teller.”
Even in the darkness, I could see the anger kindle in her eyes. “You’ve come to search for Dimka. To try to kill him. You must find him.”
“What do you mean ‘try’?” I didn’t want to believe her, didn’t want to believe she might actually know my future. Nonetheless, I found myself getting hooked in. “Have you seen what happens? Do I kill him?”
“I can’t see everything.”
“Oh. Fantastic.”
“I only saw that you must find him.”
“But that’s all you’ve got? I already knew that!”
“It’s what I saw.”
I groaned. “Damn it, I don’t have time for these cryptic clues. If you can’t help me, then don’t say anything.”
She stayed quiet.
I slung my bag over my shoulder. “Fine. I’m leaving then.” And like that, I knew where I would go. “Tell the others… well, tell them thank you for everything. And that I’m sorry.”
“You’re doing the right thing,” she said. “This isn’t where you should be.”
“So I’ve heard,” I muttered, walking away.
I wondered if she’d say anything else: chastise me, curse me, give me more mysterious words of “wisdom.” But she stayed silent, and I didn’t look back.
I had no home, not here and not in America. The only thing left for me was to do what I’d come to do. I had told Abe I kept my promises. I would.
I’d leave Baia like I told him. And I’d kill Dimitri, as I’d promised myself I would.
I knew where to go now. The address had never left my mind: 83 Kasakova. I didn’t know where it was, but once I reached the town’s center, I found a guy walking down the street who gave me directions. The address was close by, only about a mile, and I headed out at a brisk pace.
When I reached the house, I was glad to see that the lights were still on. Even as pissed off and raging as I was, I didn’t want to wake anyone up.
I also didn’t want to speak to Nikolai and was relieved when Denis opened the door.
His expression was all astonishment when he saw me. Despite his bold words back at the church earlier, I don’t think he’d really believed I’d join him and the other unpromised ones. He was speechless, so I did the talking.
“I changed my mind. I’m coming with you.” I took a deep breath, bracing myself for what came next. I’d promised Abe I’d leave Baia-but I hadn’t promised to return to the U.S. “Take me to Novosibirsk.”
CHAPTER 16
Denis and his two unpromised friends, Artur and Lev, were ecstatic that I was going to be part of their posse. But if they expected me to share their crazy enthusiasm for reckless Strigoi hunting, they were about to be sorely disappointed. In fact, it didn’t take long after I joined them before they realized that I was approaching the hunt very differently than they were. Denis’s friend Lev had a car, and we took turns driving to Novosibirsk. The drive was about fifteen hours, and even though we stopped at a hotel for the night, it was still a lot of continuous time to be cooped up in a small space with three guys who couldn’t stop talking about all the Strigoi they were going to kill.
In particular, they kept trying to draw me out. They wanted to know about how many Strigoi I’d slain. They wanted to know what the battle at the Academy had been like. They wanted to know my methods. Anytime my mind turned to those topics, though, all I could think of was blood and grief. It was nothing I wanted to brag about, and it took about six hours on the road for them to finally figure out that they weren’t going to get much information from me.
Instead, they regaled me with tales of their own adventures. To be fair, they’d slain several Strigoi-but they’d lost a number of their friends, all of whom had been in their teens, like these guys. My experiences weren’t that dissimilar; I’d lost friends too. My losses had been a result of being outnumbered, though. Denis’s group’s casualties seemed to have been more due to rushing in to without thinking. Indeed, their plan once we got to Novosibirsk wasn’t really that solid. They reiterated that Strigoi liked to hunt at places that were crowded at night, like dance clubs, or in remote places like alleys, that made for easy pickings. No one noticed as much when people disappeared from those kinds of places. So Denis’s plans mostly involved trolling those hot spots in the hopes that we’d run into Strigoi.
My initial thought was to immediately ditch this group and strike out on my own. After all, my main goal had been to simply get to Novosibirsk.
With everything I’d learned now, it seemed logical that Siberia’s largest city would be the next best place to look. Then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that jumping into the Strigoi scene alone would be as stupid as one of the unpromised gang’s plans. I could use their backup.
Plus, since I didn’t actually know where Dimitri was yet, I
had to come up with a method of getting some information. I’d need help for that.
We made it to Novosibirsk at the end of the second day of driving. Despite hearing about its size, I hadn’t imagined it would be anything like Moscow or Saint Petersburg. And true, it turned out to be not quite as large as they were, but it was still just as much a city, complete with skyscrapers, theaters, commuters, and the same beautiful architecture.
We crashed with a friend of theirs who had an apartment downtown, a dhampir named Tamara. Her English wasn’t very good, but from the sounds of it, she was another unpromised one and just as excited as everyone else to rid the world of Strigoi. She was a little older than the rest of us, which was why she had her own place, and was a cute brunette with freckles. It sounded as though she waited until whenever the guys came to town to hunt, which I took as a small blessing. At least she didn’t go out alone. She seemed particularly excited to have another girl around, but like the others, she quickly picked up that I didn’t share their enthusiasm.
When our first night of Strigoi hunting came around, I finally stepped up into a leadership position. The sudden change in behavior startled them at first, but they soon listened with rapt attention, still caught up in my superstar reputation.
“Okay,” I said, looking from face to face. We were in Tamara’s tiny living room, sitting in a circle. “Here’s how it’s going to work. We’re going to hit the nightclub scene as a group, patrolling it and the alleys behind it for-”
“Wait,” interrupted Denis. “We usually split up.”
“Which is why you get killed,” I snapped. “We’re going as a group.”
“Haven’t you killed Strigoi by yourself, though?” asked Lev. He was the tallest of the group, with a long and lanky figure that was almost Moroi-like.
“Yes, but I got lucky.” That, and I also just thought I was a better fighter than any of them. Call me arrogant, but I was a damned good guardian.
Or near-guardian. “We’ll do better with all five of us. When we find Strigoi, we’ve got to make sure we take care of them in an isolated place.” I hadn’t forgotten Sydney’s warnings. “But before we kill them, I need to talk to them. It’ll be your job to restrain them.”
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