My moment of respite over, I kept moving, keeping the soft glow of the city lights in sight through the branches. It was only a matter of time before Dimitri found me. My ankle wasn’t going to let me do much more of this. Outrunning him was slowly becoming a fantasy. Leaves left over from last fall crunched as I moved, but I couldn’t afford to step around them. I doubted I had to worry anymore about Dimitri sniffing me out. The noise would give me away.
“Rose! I swear it’s not too late.”
Shoot. His voice was close. I looked around frantically. I couldn’t see him, but if he was still calling for me, he likely couldn’t see me yet either. The city haze was still my guiding star, but there were trees and darkness between me and it. Suddenly, an unexpected person came to mind. Tasha Ozera. She was Christian’s aunt, a very formidable lady who was one of the forerunners of teaching Moroi to fight back against Strigoi.
“We can retreat and retreat and let ourselves get backed into corners forever,” she’d said once. “Or we can go out and meet the enemy at the time and place we choose. Not them.”
Okay, Tasha, I thought. Let’s see if your advice gets me killed.
I looked around and located a tree with branches I could reach. Shoving my stake back into my pocket, I grabbed hold of the lowest branch and swung myself up. My ankle complained the whole way, but aside from that, there were enough branches for me to get good hand- and footholds. I kept going until I found a thick, heavy limb that I thought would support my weight. I moved out onto it, staying near the trunk and carefully testing the limb’s sturdiness. It held. I took the stake out of my pocket and waited.
A minute or so later, I heard the faint stirring of leaves as Dimitri approached. He was much quieter than I had been. His tall, dark form came into view, a sinister shadow in the night. He moved very slowly, very carefully, eyes roving everywhere and the rest of his senses no doubt working as well.
“Roza…” He spoke softly. “I know you’re here. You have no chance of running. No chance of hiding.”
His gaze was fixed low. He thought I was hiding behind a tree or crouched down. A few more steps. That was all I needed from him. Against the stake, my hand began to sweat, but I couldn’t wipe it off. I was frozen, holding so still that I didn’t even dare breathe.
“Roza…”
The voice caressed my skin, cold and deadly. Still scrutinizing his surroundings, Dimitri took one step forward. Then another. And then another.
I think it occurred to him to look up the instant I jumped. My body slammed into his, knocking him to the ground back-first. He immediately tried to throw me off, just as I tried to drive the stake through his heart. Signs of fatigue and fighting were all over him. Defeating the other Strigoi had taken its toll, though I doubted I was in much better shape. We grappled, and once, I managed to rake the stake against his cheek. He snarled in pain but kept his chest well protected. Over it, I could see where I’d ripped his shirt the first time I’d staked him. The wound had already healed.
“You. Are. Amazing,” he said, his words full of both pride and battle fury.
I had no energy for a response. My only goal was his heart. I fought to stay on him, and at last, my stake pierced his chest-but he was too fast.
He knocked my hand away before I could fully drive the stake through. In the process, he knocked me off of him. I flew several feet away, mercifully not hitting any trees. I scrambled to my feet, dazed, and saw him coming toward me. He was fast-but not as fast as he’d been in previous fights. We were going to kill ourselves in trying to kill each other.
I’d lost my advantage now, so I ran off into the trees, knowing he’d be right behind me. I was certain he could outrun me, but if I could accrue just a tiny lead, then maybe I could secure another good attack place and try to “Ahhh!”
My scream rang into the night, jarring against the quiet darkness. My foot had gone out from under me, and I was sliding rapidly down a steep hillside, unable to stop myself. There were few trees, but the rocks and my ungainly position made the fall painful, particularly since I was wearing that sweater dress. How I managed to keep holding the stake was beyond me. I hit the bottom roughly, managed to briefly stand, and then promptly stumbled and fell-into water.
I stared around. On cue, the moon peeked out from the clouds, casting enough light to show me a huge expanse of black, fast-moving water in front of me. I gaped at it, utterly confused, and then I turned in the direction of the city. This was the Ob, the river that ran through Novosibirsk.
The river headed right toward it. Glancing behind me, I saw Dimitri standing on top of the ridge. Unlike some of us, he’d apparently been watching where he was going. Either that, or my scream had tipped him off that something was amiss.
It was going to take him less than a minute to come running down after me, though. I looked to either side of me and then in front. Okay. Fast-moving water. Possibly deep. Very wide. It’d take the pressure off my ankle, but I wasn’t thrilled about my chances of not drowning. In legends, vampires couldn’t cross running water. Man, I wished. That was pure myth.
I did a double take to my left and just barely saw a dark shape over the water. A bridge? It was the best shot I had. I hesitated before going toward it; I needed Dimitri to start coming down here. I was not going to run off and let him pace me up above on the ridge. I needed the time his hill descent would buy me. There. He took one step onto the slope, and I tore off down the shore, not looking back. The bridge grew closer and closer to me, and as it did, I realized just how high it was. I’d misjudged it from where I’d landed. The slopes around the bridge reached farther up the more I ran downriver. I was going to have a hell of a climb.
No problem. I’d worry about that later-by which I meant in about thirty seconds, since that was probably how long it’d take Dimitri to catch up with me. As it was, I could hear his feet splashing through the shallow water on the bank, the sounds growing nearer and nearer. If I could just reach the bridge, if I could just get to high ground and to the other side. The nausea surged in me. A hand closed around the back of my jacket, jerking me backward. I fell against Dimitri and immediately began fighting him, trying to free myself. But God, I was so, so tired. Every piece of me hurt, and no matter how weary he was, I was worse.
“Stop it!” he yelled, gripping my arms. “Don’t you get it? You can’t win!”
“Then kill me!” I wriggled, but his hold on my upper arms was too strong, and even holding the stake, I couldn’t do anything with it. “You said you would if I didn’t surrender myself. Well, guess what? I didn’t. I won’t. So just get it over with.”
That phantom moonlight lit up his face, eradicating the normal shadows and making his skin stark white against the night’s backdrop. It was like all the colors in the world had been blanked out. His eyes merely looked dark, but in my mind’s eye, they glowed like fire. His expression was cold and calculating.
Not my Dimitri.
“It’d take a lot for me to kill you, Rose,” he said. “This isn’t enough.”
I wasn’t convinced. Still holding onto me with that unbreakable grip, he leaned toward me. He was going to bite me. Those teeth would pierce my skin, and he’d turn me into a monster like him or drink until I was dead. Either way, I’d be too drugged and too stupid to know it. The person who was Rose Hathaway would leave this world without even realizing it.
Pure panic shot through me-even as that part of me that was still in withdrawal cried out for more of those glorious endorphins. No, no. I couldn’t allow that. Every nerve I had was set on fire, ramping up for defense, attack, anything… anything to stop this. I would not be turned. I could not be turned. I wanted so badly to do something to save myself. My whole being was consumed with that urge. I could feel it ready to burst out, ready to. My hands could touch each other but not Dimitri. With a bit of maneuvering, I used the fingers of my left hand to pry off Oksana’s ring. It slipped off and into the mud, just as Dimitri’s fangs touched my skin.
It
was like a nuclear explosion going off. The ghosts and spirits I’d summoned on the road to Baia burst between us. They were all around, translucent and luminescent in shades of pale green, blue, yellow, and silver. I’d let loose all of my defenses, let myself succumb to my emotions in a way I hadn’t been able to when Dimitri first caught me. The ring’s healing power had barely kept me in check just now, but it was gone. I had no barriers on my power.
Dimitri sprang back, wide-eyed. Like the Strigoi on the road, he waved his hands around, swatting the spirits as one would mosquitoes. His hands passed right through them, ineffectual. Their attack was more or less ineffectual too. They couldn’t physically hurt him, but they could affect the mind, and they were damned distracting. What had Mark said? The dead hate the undead. And from the way these ghosts swarmed Dimitri, it was clear that they did.
I stepped back, scanning the ground below me. There. The ring’s silver gleamed up at me from a puddle. I reached down and grabbed it, then ran off and left Dimitri to his fate. He wasn’t exactly screaming, but he was making some horrible noises. That tore at me, but I kept going, running toward the bridge. I reached it a minute or so later. It was as high as I’d feared, but it was sturdy and well built, if narrow. It was the kind of country bridge that only one car at a time could cross.
“I’ve come this far,” I muttered, staring up at the bank. It was not only higher than the one I’d fallen down, it was also steeper. I pocketed the ring and stake and then reached out, digging my hands into the ground. I was going to have to half-crawl, half-climb this one. My ankle got a slight reprieve; this was all upper-body strength now. As I climbed, however, I began to notice something. Faint flashes in my periphery. An impression of faces and skulls. And a throbbing pain in the back of my head.
Oh no. This had happened before too. In this panicked state, I couldn’t maintain the defenses I usually did to keep the dead away from myself.
They were now approaching me, more curious than belligerent. But as their numbers grew, it all became as disorienting as what Dimitri was now experiencing.
They couldn’t hurt me, but they were freaking me out, and the telltale headache that came with them was starting to make me dizzy. Glancing back toward him, I saw something amazing. Dimitri was still coming. He really was a god, a god who brought death closer with each footstep. The ghosts still swarmed him like a cloud, yet he was managing progress, one agonizing step at a time. Turning back, I continued my climb, ignoring my own glowing companions as best I could.
At long last, I reached the top of the bank and stumbled onto the bridge. I could barely stand, my muscles were so weak. I made it a few more steps and then collapsed to my hands and knees. More and more spirits were spinning around, and my head was on the verge of exploding. Dimitri still made his slow progress but was a ways from the bank yet. I tried to stand again, using the bridge’s rails for support, and failed. The rough grating on the bridge scraped my bare legs.
“Damn.”
I knew what I had to do to save myself, though it could very well end up killing me, too. With trembling hands, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring. I shook so badly that I felt certain I’d drop it. Somehow, I held on and managed to slide it onto my finger. A small surge of warmth radiated from it into me, and I felt a tiny bit of control settle into my body. Unfortunately, the ghosts were still there.
The traces of that fear, of dying or turning Strigoi, were still in me, but it had lessened now that I was out of immediate danger. Feeling less unstable, I sought for the barriers and control I usually kept up, desperate to slam them into place and drive my visitors away.
“Go, go, go,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. The effort was like pushing on a mountain, an impossible obstacle that no one could have the strength for. This was what Mark had warned about, why I shouldn’t do this. The dead were a powerful asset, but once called, they were difficult to get rid of. What had he said? Those who danced on the edge of darkness and insanity shouldn’t risk this.
“Go!” I shouted, throwing my last bit of strength into the effort.
One by one, the phantoms around me vanished. I felt my world settle back into its rightful order. Only, when I looked down, I saw that the ghosts had left Dimitri too-as I’d suspected. And just like that, he was on the move again.
“Damn.” My word of the night.
I managed to get on my feet this time as he sprinted up the slope. Again, he was slower than usual-but still more than fast enough. I began backing up, never taking my eyes off of him. Getting rid of the ghosts had given me more strength, but not what I needed to get away. Dimitri had won.
“Another shadow-kissed effect?” he asked, stepping onto the bridge.
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “Turns out ghosts don’t much like Strigoi.”
“You didn’t seem to like them much either.”
I took another slow step backward. Where could I go? As soon as I turned around to run, he’d be on me.
“So, did I go far enough for you to not want to turn me?” I asked as cheerfully as I could manage.
He gave me a wry, twisted smile. “No. Your shadow-kissed abilities have their uses… Too bad they’ll go away when you’re awakened.” So. That was still his plan. In spite of how much I’d infuriated him, he still wanted to keep me around for eternity.
“You’re not going to awaken me,” I said.
“Rose, there’s no way you can-”
“No.”
I climbed up onto the railing of the bridge, swinging one leg over. I knew what had to happen now. He froze.
“What are you doing?”
“I told you. I’ll die before I become Strigoi. I won’t be like you or the others. I don’t want that. You didn’t want that, once upon a time.” My face felt cold as a night breeze blew over it, the result of stealthy tears on my cheeks.
I swung my other leg over and peered down at the swiftly moving water. We were a lot more than two stories up. I’d hit the water hard, and even if I survived that fall, I didn’t have the strength to out swim the current and get to shore. As I stared down, contemplating my death, I thought back to when Dimitri and I sat in the backseat of an SUV once, discussing this very topic.
It was the first time we’d sat near each other, and every place our bodies touched had been warm and wonderful. He’d smelled good-that scent, that scent of being alive was gone now, I realized-and he’d been more relaxed than usual, ready to smile. We’d talked about what it meant to be alive and in full control of your soul-and what it meant to become one of the undead, to lose the love and light of life and all those you’d known.
We’d looked at each other and agreed death was better than that fate.
Looking at Dimitri now, I had to agree.
“Rose, don’t.” I heard true panic in his voice. If he lost me over the edge, I was gone. No Strigoi. No awakening. For me to be turned, he needed to kill me by drinking my blood and then feed blood back to me. If I jumped, the water would kill me, not bloodletting. I would be long dead before he found me in the river.
“Please,” he begged. There was a plaintive note to his voice, one that startled me. It twisted my heart. It reminded me too much of the living Dimitri, the one who wasn’t a monster. The one who’d cared for me and loved me, who’d believed in me and made love to me. This Dimitri, the one who was none of those things, took two careful steps forward, then stopped again. “We need to be together.”
“Why?” I asked softly. The word was carried away on the wind, but he heard.
“Because I want you.”
I gave him a sad smile, wondering if we’d meet again in the land of the dead. “Wrong answer,” I told him.
I let go.
And he was right there, sprinting out to me with that insane Strigoi speed as I started to fall. He reached out and caught one of my arms, dragging me back onto the railing. Well, half-dragging. Only part of me made it over; the rest still hung out over the river.
“Stop fighting me!
” he said, trying to pull on the arm he held.
He was in a precarious position himself, straddling the rail as he tried to lean over far enough to get me and actually hold onto me.
“Let go of me!” I yelled back.
But he was too strong and managed to haul most of me over the rail, enough so that I wasn’t in total danger of falling again.
See, here’s the thing. In that moment before I let go, I really had been contemplating my death. I’d come to terms with it and accepted it. I also, however, had known Dimitri might do something exactly like this. He was just that fast and that good. That was why I was holding my stake in the hand that was dangling free.
I looked him in the eye. “I will always love you.”
Then I plunged the stake into his chest.
It wasn’t as precise a blow as I would have liked, not with the skilled way he was dodging. I struggled to get the stake in deep enough to his heart, unsure if I could do it from this angle. Then, his struggles stopped. His eyes stared at me, stunned, and his lips parted, almost into a smile, albeit a grisly and pained one.
“That’s what I was supposed to say…” he gasped out.
Those were his last words.
His failed attempt to dodge the stake had made him lose his balance on the edge. The stake’s magic made the rest easy, stunning him and his reflexes.
Dimitri fell.
He nearly took me with him, and I just barely managed to break free of him and cling to the railing. He dropped down into the darkness-down, down into the blackness of the Ob. A moment later he disappeared from sight.
I stared down after him, wondering if I would see him in the water if I squinted hard enough. But I didn’t. The river was too dark and too far away.
Clouds moved back over the moon, and darkness fell over everything again. For a moment, staring down and realizing what I’d just done, I wanted to throw myself in after him, because surely there was no way I could go on living now.
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