I licked my lips, staring up at him and trying to blink away the drunken haze that threatened me while focusing on his words. I knew they were important, I knew they would mean something later but it was hard.
“, yeah… I guess this conflict comes with the territory. We want to stay ourselves but they want desperately to be free. And I don’t think there’s a middle ground without one of us being completely submissive to the other.” His hand dropped away completely and immediately I wanted it back, I wanted its warmth and its presence.
“No. That can’t be it.” I managed slowly, “You’re still Aidan, but I’ve seen how you command the room like Zeus. You need to accept some parts of him are you as well.
Let him in enough to keep him happy but not enough to lose yourself. I, we, don’t like tolerate you because of him but because of you.” I suppose my advice could be said for me as well, but I didn’t want to admit I was a naturally jealous person. Maybe in that way Aidan didn’t want to admit he was a bit of a scumbag… Or maybe he wanted to change that but was afraid that embracing Zeus would only magnify it.
“But what if I’m not strong enough? What if the more I accept this, letting him in little by little, thinking that I’m in control of him when he’s waiting to take over?” His eyes bore into me with such strength I could see the fear and worry in his eye. He was laying his soul bare to me and made him more naked than I ever imagined he was capable of.
I shook my head though, frowning, “that’s impossible. You’re the strongest man I’ve ever known. And I don’t think they want full control, they want to be noticed and we’ve all spent a lot of time ignoring them… We wouldn’t be their vessels if there wasn’t a good reason for it.”
The words flowed effortlessly from me, for a moment I had to wonder if they were mine or if they were the words of a wife reassuring her husband. Whatever it was, I reached up and cupped his face, drawing it to look down on me. “Embrace him and you’ll work together, enhancing each other’s strengths and working on your weaknesses.”
We both stayed like that for a moment before he finally whispered my name softly. It was the sweetest sound I’d heard, sending shivers down my spine. He’d never called me that before, insisting only on ‘Queenie’ or his recent favorite ‘Blondie’. But there was something about the way that he said my name that made it different from all the millions of other times I’d heard it. It was like it was the first time ever and the power of that idea held me for a moment.
His hand reached out tentatively, his fingers brushing along the inner skin of my wrist before dropping away, “you don’t know what he’s like. But she does… you said it yourself; it’s not me that you hate. It’s him.”
His fingers brushed along my hand once more and I found myself glancing down at them, wondering where this newfound sensitivity had come from. I liked it, no matter how bizarre it seemed.
I laughed though, despite myself, “hey now. I didn’t say I liked you… I only tolerate you.” I grinned slightly at him, the hands on his cheeks moving up and around his neck drawing him in closer. “I can tell you, he’s not as bad as you think. You think he’s bad because as far as you’ve experienced him he is. Remember, you’ve only ever let him show up when he gets to the brink.”
He stared at me for a long moment, considering this before touching my wrist again and looking down at it almost mesmerized.
“The way he thinks… It’s terrifying. I’ve never known anger like that before or such passion. Although I think I’m beginning to understand the latter.” My heart pounded in my chest, as he got closer to me.
I knew this was wrong on many levels but I wanted him badly for reasons I couldn’t explain to myself, let alone anyone else. I licked my lips, stalling for a moment while I thought of what to say next.
“Anger is passion reversed… release the latter and you deflect the former.” The moment the words left my lips a part of me regretted them. I didn’t want that from him, I wanted something more substantial and lasting and yet… The way he was looking at me, it was different than any other time that he did.
This time it wasn’t as though it were a hungry lion looking at the gazelle but the way a man who desired something he knew he shouldn’t have. And he was right, neither of us were stable enough for us to give into that and can control the outcome.
Neither of us even knew what the outcome would be.
But the desire wasn’t subdued in his eyes and the tension in the room was palpable. It was different, instead of pent up anger and tension unfurling there was something much more intimate now that he was being honest, vulnerable and open with me.
I watched his chest rise and fall as his breath came in short, quick bursts. I wanted him to kiss me; I needed him to kiss me.
I knew deep down both of us had had way too much to drink tonight and how could I ever know if this was coming from a real place or if this was all his way of conquering me. I didn’t want that, I wanted the kiss when I knew he meant it. As he leaned in, it took every ounce of strength left in me to lean back and his eyes flew open.
“What? What is it Savannah?” He reached out, catching my chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting my chin upwards.
“Not like this…” I said softly, “not here, not now…”
It killed me to say these things to him but if it did mean something then he’d understand – right? For a moment, I thought he’d get angry again but then he nodded, releasing my face and straightening up. He was going to go now, and I didn’t want that either.
“Can you stay? For the night?” I glanced over my shoulder at the massive king bed I had all to myself. He could easily sleep beside me in it and never once touch me. His eyes followed mine and he seemed to consider the idea for a second before he looked back at me, nodding barely.
“Alright. But only to have someone to hold my hair back when I start puking later.” He teased slightly, reaching behind his head to pull his shirt over it. My eyes travelled the length of his torso, drinking in the sight of his bare chest before I followed the motion of his hands, watching him undo the button of his pants.
I felt myself flush with unspoken emotions and I turned away, settling back into the bed after making room for him.
He made his way around the other side and slipped in beside me, turning we were face to face.
Something had changed tonight, maybe it was both of us embracing what we knew was inevitable or maybe it was he had accepted we could be good allies for each other. Whatever it was, he’d let me in in a way I knew he’d never done for anyone else.
Not even Charlotte. And I was proud of that.
I was glad that he chose me to be his confident and not her because it meant I had something she could never offer him. I had a feeling things were going to change soon enough and I couldn’t wait to find out how.
“Night Queenie.”
“Night Aidan.”
Chapter 15
The next morning a banging on my door woke me. Despite the urgency of the knocks I found myself slowly returning to consciousness rather reluctantly. I yawned, stretching out across the mattress when my mind told me something was wrong. I spread my fingers out on the sheet, feeling around tentatively until I confirmed one disappointing thing: I was alone.
It all came rushing back to me then: the drinking, the dancing, and the attempted rape. Everything Aidan and I had talked about, the intimacy we had shared with our words. How I’d asked him to stay the night with me. My stomach knotted, out of embarrassment, or out of disappointment I didn’t know. But when my eyes flew open and they only confirmed what my hand had told me – he was gone.
Perhaps it was a bit of both.
I didn’t have time to dwell on it as another urgent knock came from the door and I pushed myself quickly off the bed. It was only halfway to the door I remembered I was still half naked and had to run back to grab something to cover up. With a blanket from my bed securely wrapped around me I quickly returned to the door and pulled it open
, greeted by the last person I had expected to see.
“Atlas!” I said, the shock evident in my voice. At this point I had begun to think he had been a figment of my imagination and had simply moved on from expecting he was going to come back and help me out.
“You’re late.” He said simply, his eyes taking in my clothing, or lack thereof. “And you’re not dressed!” He said exasperatedly as he moved further into the apartment, pushing me backwards. “Go get some clothes on Savannah, we don’t have a lot of time, everyone else is waiting.”
“What?” I said, confusion written all over my face. What did he mean that everyone was waiting? Waiting for what? What was going on? But in typical Atlas fashion he was absolutely no help.
He stood there waiting for me to go before pushing me toward the bedroom, “move! C’mon!”
He was a lot higher strung than he had been when he’d picked me up from the airport but I imagined that having to deal with all these dramatic humans as Gods could easily do that. But he could at least be a little clearer with me instead of expecting me to know what the hell he was going on about.
I knew if I pressed the issue he’d get more aggravated I went to get clothes on. Besides, I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the idea of being nearly naked with him, however hot he was.
“And make sure it’s something comfortable that you can move in.” What was I going to be doing? Exercising? I hoped he didn’t have a leotard on under those jeans. But heeding his advice I thought about something cute and yoga appropriate before opening the closet door.as I wanted, it provided me with a pair of flattering yoga pants and a nice tank top that held everything in.
When I was finished getting dressed I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and had the common sense to check my reflection before going. Thank God, I had because my makeup from the night before was smeared all over my face.
Of course, Atlas hadn’t and probably wouldn’t have said anything, letting me simply walk out and let everyone see me this way. I scowled at my reflection while quickly trying to scrub the remnants of my black eyeliner and mascara off my cheeks. Atlas never ceased to shout at me from the front hallway and when I was finally ready for other people he was beyond stressed, pacing by the door.
“Finally! C’mon, let’s go.” I rolled my eyes, following him out the door.
“Am I going to get an explanation and are you going to take a chill pill?” He led the way, cruising on high speed through the hallways while I made my way comfortably behind him. I enjoyed how flustered he was; glad that I was managing to cause him a few grey hairs after the way he’d thrown me into the fray without much as any instruction on how to handle myself.
“Didn’t you see my note?” I raised my eyebrows and shook my head incredulously. But then again last night I’d been sort of emotionally all over the place and if there had been a note it had been missed between Aidan bringing me home and Aidan and I falling asleep together.
I remembered again how Aidan had left me alone in the morning without much as a goodbye or anything. My mind wanted to dwell on it, rip it apart and assess it for any sort of clue as to what it could possibly mean.
That of course would also result in my mind coming up with all kinds of ludicrous and dramatic ideas that were blown out of proportion. Maybe he’d thought I knew about all this and would wake up on time on my own. Maybe he wasn’t even at whatever it was Atlas was taking me to. Maybe he had somewhere he had to be– not that many people made appointments in this place.
I tried desperately to give him an excuse for bailing on me this morning. I guess he didn’t have any obligations to stay either because it wasn’t like we’d slept together or anything. No matter how intimate our conversation had gotten last night there was no reason for him to have to stay in the morning – right? Right.
“We’re beginning training today.” He finally said, pausing outside a door.
“Training?” I repeated, surprised. “Yes, you didn’t think being a Goddess was lounging around having parties, gossiping and otherwise indulging in all sorts of soap opera type dramas, did you?”
“Well, no… I’d hoped not but…”
“Then, as you can understand it is my job to train you for what it is you’re going to do once your union is complete.”
“, I’m being united with Hera finally?”
“No. It happens instantly, but she’s awake now and you’ve embraced her. Everyone has finally embraced his or her God. It’s time to start training.”
“Right.” I said, feeling as confused as he had made me on that first day. I was beginning to understand that was the type of person he was. He didn’t like to elaborate unless he had to and preferred to do his speeches in a more pomp and circumstance kind of way.
Following behind him once more as he opened the door into the training room. He hadn’t been kidding about everyone waiting for me. Everyone was there, all standing around either chatting or simply waiting for Atlas to come back.
“Ah, her majesty decided to join us.” Hunter said loudly producing a couple chuckles from Charlotte and Nicola. I hardly paid him any attention as my eyes landed on Aidan. I stared at him for a moment waiting for some recognition of last night but he turned completely away from me and followed Atlas, who’d made his way to the front of the group.
“Okay, everyone… shut up.”
He said firmly, causing the jokes and laughter to subside. “Now that we’re all here and all awake it’s time we introduce ourselves to one another though I’m sure most of you know by now who everyone is and that everyone here is an Olympian.”
There were a few murmurs of agreement while everyone looked around the room before Atlas spoke again, “Aidan, why don’t you start.”
All eyes turned to Aidan as he faced the group, his eyes deliberately avoiding mine as they swept over everyone and he smirked.
“I’m Aidan, or you can call me your lord and master.” Everyone laughed though I didn’t find the arrogance funny. “I’m Zeus, the King of the Heavens, obviously.” My eyes flitted to Charlotte who was grinning almost proudly, while the other girls in the room stared adoringly. There was certainly something charismatic about him but I knew much more, I felt like I knew the real Aidan and that was much more attractive to me than this man here.
“Alright, next!” Atlas pointed to Charlotte who was beside him. She grinned broadly and stepped forward to ensure everyone could see her, “I’m Charlotte and I’m Athena, Goddess of war and wisdom.”
“I’m Nicola, Aphrodite, Goddess of love.”
“And sex.” Hunter said with a smirk before continuing, “Hunter, I’m Poseidon, God of the sea.” His chest puffed out like a proud bird and I saw the red head beside me blush slightly in his direction. The next in line was my Godly son, who I still wasn’t sure if I had forgiven for leaving me on my own for Charlotte to attack me.
“I’m Royce or Hephaestus, God of fire and metal crafting.” He was a man of few words and the least commanding of the room, out of the other boys that had gone before him. A quiet, petite brunette was beside him and she moved forward.
“I’m Renae or Demeter, the Goddess of the harvest and seasons.” She smiled at everyone rather politely before moving back into her place, swallowed up between the two boys on her sides.
“I’m Ares, God of war.” He moved forward, ferocity in his stance and movements. He stood there like he was posing for a statue when Atlas cleared his throat. “Oh, my name is Zane.” A couple people suppressed a chuckle but Nicola was staring longingly at him.
“I’m Idina and I’m the Goddess Hestia. I don’t… I’m not sure what she’s Goddess of.”
She blushed and Atlas smiled, “she’s the Goddess of the hearth and home, domesticity and agriculture.” He nodded his head at her in a way that affirmed that she was the absolute perfect fit for such uncommon themes.
“I’m Finnian, or you can call me Finn. I’m Apollo, God of the sun.” He was holding hands with the girl beside me and I realized that th
ey were twins, like they were supposed to be.
“I’m Briar and I’m Artemis.” Briar finished and Finn added softly, “She’s the Goddess of the hunt.”
At that point, everyone turned to look at me. I waved, immediately feeling idiotic as my hand flopped back down to my side and I cleared my throat.
“I’m Savannah, and I’m Hera. She’s, I mean, I’m the Goddess of women and marriage.” Zane smiled at me and I returned it sheepishly before everyone turned their eyes to the last person in the room. I had completely forgotten about him up until this moment. As soon as I saw him my stomach clenched and I instinctively backed away.
“I’m Griffin. I guess I’m Hades.” His voice was quiet, somewhat broken up and sad. I told myself what happened last night wasn’t his fault but his God’s and yet I knew nothing would ever be the same between us again. Even if it hadn’t been him it had been his body and that was something I could never come to terms with.
He turned to face me, our eyes met and I forced myself to look away before the memories of the night before came flooding back to me. Thankfully Atlas clapped his hands together to draw all our attentions back to him and I had an excuse to forget he was there once again.
“Alright, good. Everyone clear then? We all know what’s going on for the most part? Everyone doing okay with his or her Gods? Except for the obvious exceptions…” His eyes flit to Griffin and I wondered if he knew about last night. Had Aidan maybe told him? I glanced at him but he didn’t seem to even notice or care about whatever Atlas was saying and disappointment clenched my throat.
“Okay, good. I’m glad to hear it. I know I’ve been somewhat absent for the last week and a bit. But I knew it was important for you to interact without my assistance and figure things out for yourselves... Your dynamic with the other Gods, how you react to your own God… It was important you recall it all yourselves without any prompting or else it could damage the whole point of this reincarnation.”
Grace of Gods Boxset: Reincarnated Greek Gods YA/NA Series Page 14
