“Zeus punished him by having his liver pecked out every day and it would grow back during the night.” I said, completing his sentence.
Atlas nodded, “yes exactly.
It’s a dangerous thing to meddle with power. The Gods who knew that were protective of their own and volatile toward those who did try to steal.”
Processing all this I turned back to Aidan, staring at him for a long time before declaring, “you must be strong. Emotionally I mean.” He shrugged, not saying anything I turned back to Atlas.
“What do I do then to resist that draw? How can I stop myself from doing… that” I pointed to the flower, “to another God? Or to a human?”
“We’ll work on that Savannah. But not today. I think we’ve done enough.” He spoke carefully, like a parent caring for an eager child. “You’re not susceptible to Aidan draining you, or someone else, but your own exertion of your powers. They need to be recharged; you can’t keep using and not pay a price. Besides, we’ve been here for almost 6 hours. I think you should go sleep, it’s probably been a long day.” He smirked knowingly, but the insinuation was lost on me, startled by the fact it had been almost 6 hours.
Had time gone by that fast? It had only felt like we’d gotten there but as though on cue, I felt exhausted.
“When’s the next training session then?”
“I’ll let you know, but for now – practice what we’ve learned.” I nodded, turning back to Aidan who seemed lost in his own thoughts.
“Ready then?”
“Yeah…” He was unconvincing and before long corrected himself, “You go ahead. I’ll meet you after, I have a few questions for Atlas.”
“You sure? I can wait.”
Aidan shook his head, “no, he’s right. You look tired. That last bit took a lot out of you. Go get in bed, I’ll meet you there.” He smirked at me and I felt myself blush slightly before nodding.
“Okay, see you there.” I turned, feeling sure that he meant it as I made my way back through the door.
This time I didn’t reenter the training room but stepped completely into the hallway outside our penthouse. A few more steps and I could fall into bed for some well-deserved sleep.
Only as I pushed the door open to my apartment did I remember I wanted to ask Atlas about the prophecy...
Oh well, next time I guess.
Chapter 21
I fell headlong into sleep and didn’t wake again until the light of the morning shone through the double windows of my royal bedroom. I rolled against the side Aidan should’ve been in, startled to find it was empty. Sitting up, I looked around for any sign that he had been there but the room was the same.
Recalling the events of the night before, Aidan had been extremely upset following Atlas’ admission that he had the power to draw my magic from me. Retrospectively I found myself a bit upset, as well, I had the distinct impression that Atlas had been reluctant to tell us and no doubt had hoped to maybe refrain from admitting such things. Why would he want to hide something critical like that from us? What would happen if Aidan were to accidentally take too much and not even know what he was doing? Surely that was worse than being informed with the knowledge to avoid that.
Pushing myself out of the warmth of my bed I made my way out into the living room and crossed directly into his apartment. I found it as bare as my bed had been and no sign of Aidan having been there before me. I hated to think that maybe he’d spent the night in the garden trying to practice his self-control with the darkness.
But then, maybe he had resolved to control it before we practiced together again.
I settled down at the kitchen table with a bowl of oatmeal, taking my time and mulling over all the different changes that had occurred in the last few days. I still wanted to talk to Atlas about this prophecy. His reluctance to warn Aidan and I about the side effects of our powers made me wonder if there was something important about the prophecy he was neglecting to tell us about.
I still couldn’t pinpoint what side Atlas was on. While he was a Titan, and thus must feel kinship toward his reincarnated brethren he had also sworn himself to Zeus in this duty to return the Gods to power. Atlas was a tricky character, he didn’t let anything on that he didn’t believe was necessary knowledge which also left him somewhat untrustworthy. Something bigger was going on around us while we went through our days like they weren’t numbered, I could feel it in my gut. Something was coming.
Cleaning up after myself at the table I quickly got dressed and decided to track down the elusive Titan and make him tell me what he knew. No more missus nice girl. At least that’s what I told my reflection as I did up the zipper of my dress.
I hoped too that I might run into Aidan on my mission,
having him there with me would certainly give the Titan pause to think about considering lying to me again or evading the question.
Leaving the apartment, I focused on my target and pushed through the closest door and stepped through. Trouble was, I hadn’t focused as clearly as I perhaps should have because I walked through the door into another hallway into which Aidan was stepping into as well.
Behind him though, through the minuscule glimpse I caught over his shoulder, was Charlotte, lounging on a chaise in her apartment wiggling her fingers at me. Anger surged through me as my eyes flicked from her smirking face to his guilty looking one.
“How could you?” They were the only sensible words I managed to say before I turned, going straight back through the door I had gone through and back into the hallway I didn’t recognize. My brain was jumbled from the scene that I couldn’t even think straight to escape.
I looked for another door focusing on my desire to get as far away from Aidan as I could manage while embarrassment and hurt flooded through me.
I knew something like this would happen. I had predicted it even. And Aidan had given me his word that he wouldn’t do it but here he was, slinking out of her room like the worthless excuse for a man he was.
He didn’t even have the decency to try us out for a day before ruining everything. I couldn’t believe it.
I struggled through the two extremes of hatred and despair as I all but ran toward my apartment.
I knew even there I wasn’t safe. He could get to me, get through that door and try to explain himself. I didn’t want to hear his wasted words. I knew now I couldn’t trust anything coming out of his mouth there was no point in me listening to him.
“Savannah, stop.” He said, coming out of nowhere to block my path. Like a trapped deer, I spun around looking for escape but there was nowhere for me to go. I realized now that the door behind me had disappeared already and he was blocking the only other one in the room.
“No. I don’t want to hear whatever excuse you’re going to use.” I half expected him to say, ‘it’s not what you think’ or some other similar cliché, which would only upset me more.
“Savannah, I’m sorry.” He began, moving toward me with his hands outstretched like he was ready to stop me if I decided to physically assault him. “I didn’t want this to happen, but you’re right. I’m no good for you. I’m going to do nothing but hurt you. It was only a matter of time, I thought I’d get it over with. There’s no use in stringing you along and letting you believe it’s going to work out. We’re not the right people for each other. We never were and we deluded ourselves in the heat of the moment into thinking it could work.”
I was flabbergasted, left wondering how he could say these things when he was the one who had fought hard yesterday to keep me there. I was ready to walk away; I was still able to tell myself I wasn’t emotionally attached, but now? Now I was.
I felt like this had been another game to him. Like Charlotte had been for him: he’d pursued her only for her virginity, while he pursued me for my love. As if he wanted to convince himself it was possible for someone like him to be loved. I was sickened slightly by the thought and I shook my head at him, absolutely at a loss for words.
“I think it’s
better this way.” He concluded, his feet stopping him an arm’s length from me.
I shook my head, “you promised me Aidan. You looked me in the eyes, knowing about my past and promised that you would try. You didn’t even bother to do that, the minute you realized that this was going to be hard you bailed and did the one thing you knew would hurt me. You talk about being alone and people not being there for you in the ways you need them but the ones who are – the ones like me – you deliberately push us away. Your loneliness is your own fault. Your constant misery is entirely your own fault and you know what? I hope you feel horrible, I hope you hate yourself a little bit for this because I, unlike you, keep my promises. I told you you’d get one chance and this was it, you blew it. Game over.”
There was no concern in me as I walked past him, he could make a move for me but he’d regret it. And I sensed too that he realized this now.
If he thought he would be happy with this decision, he was wrong. I hoped he suffered as much as I was. As strong as I fought to appear there were foundations within me that were crumbling as I took those deliberate, difficult steps toward the door.
His eyes bore into me as I walked past him but I kept my eyes on the goal, willing myself not to give into the pain yet. I could cry, but not in front of him. He wouldn’t see my tears because he didn’t deserve them if he didn’t love me.
Hera was as distraught as I was. Having been happy to believe that her husband would try and be true to her this time around.
Reaching for the door I pulled it open and stepped into the next hallway. The click of the shutting door behind me only cemented for me that I was done with all things Aidan and Zeus.
But the closed door also offered me something else: privacy to succumb to the tidal wave of emotions roaring through me.
My knees gave out and I slipped down the door, tears streaming from my eyes. I curled into a ball, rocking myself slightly like a mother would a distressed child and I let it all out. It didn’t make much difference. I could cry all I wanted but the pain would still be a dull ache in my bones and in my heart.
I don’t know how long I sat there like that but after a while someone came from another door, walking toward me tentatively.
“Are you okay?” She asked softly, her voice light and airy almost like a child’s. Intrigue drew my chin upwards to see who it was and I blinked through tears at the petite girl in front of me.
She had long raven hair, hanging over her shoulders almost to her stomach and bright, wide brown eyes that seemed to be filled with worry for me.
“Are you okay?” She repeated, clearly trying to enunciate her words through her thick Irish accent. She held out her hand, offering to help me up. I reached out and took it as she helped me stand.
“Yeah… Well, no. I’ve been better, but I’ve been worse I suppose.” I frowned.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked softly, releasing my hand finally but never taking her wondering eyes off me. There was something about her that made me feel like she was genuine, that there was nothing about her that was false or fake like the other girls here. She simply saw someone in need and was willing to offer her help.
I shook my head, “boy problems you know.”
She scrunched up her face and shook her head slightly before smiling again, “sure… I’m Valentina.” She held out her hand to me and I took it, shaking it somewhat awkwardly.
“Savannah.”
“Yeah, I know.” She said softly with a light blush, “you’re the Queen.”
Unable to help it, I laughed despite myself and nodded slightly, “I guess… But it’s unlikely that I’ll maintain that title.” I thought about Charlotte’s smug face over Aidan’s shoulder as she saw me see her. I knew this was her checkmate for the throne. And she was right; I had lost the will to fight. She could have it, if this is what it meant.
“Boy trouble… I guess you mean Aidan then?” She was smart; I’d give her that. I nodded, “yeah. But it’s always Aidan around here, right?” She laughed.
“I wouldn’t let him get you down, Hera wasn’t Queen of the Heavens because she was married to the King of the Skies. She was Queen in her own right and you shouldn’t forget that.”
I blushed at the conviction of her words and smiled, “I guess …”
“No. It’s the truth. Hera was always meant to be Queen and no one else; Zeus recognized that and played into fate. Even Zeus can’t run away from fate. Like the rest of us he isn’t impervious to its influence.” I smiled, not putting much stock in her words but grateful for them nonetheless.
“Then, who are you?” I asked with another smile, “you seem to know an awful lot about me.”
Valentina blushed and shrugged, “I don’t know. My Goddess is still sleeping… Atlas promises me she’ll wake up when she’s ready but I don’t know, I think he made a mistake.”
I nodded, understanding how she felt, “I know what that’s like. But he’s right. You’re here for a reason and that reason will show itself soon enough.”
She smiled again, “yeah… You’re probably right. Until then, I’ll keep reading the myths and see if I can find someone who is like me. Atlas said we share similar histories to our Gods, I figure the more I read the greater chance I have of getting a hint.”
Did I have things in common historically with Hera? I tried to remember what I’d read in the library and although it was only memories from the day before, it felt like a century ago.
She had daddy issues in a way, like I did. She was the Goddess of childbirth and I had been studying for midwifery. She had a knack for picking the wrong guy and well, my record spoke for itself. I guess Val was onto something.
I smiled again, realizing that my anguish from before had nearly dissipated since meeting Valentina. Something about her made me feel better again, but I also felt a needy sense of protection for her as well.
She seemed too innocent and pure to be mixed up amongst all these other people who were out for their own gain and willing to stab anyone in their pursuit to power.
I couldn’t help but think maybe she was right in thinking Atlas had picked the wrong person. People who didn’t want to be eaten alive in this environment had to be as cutthroat as the next person. She didn’t strike me as someone who could betray a friend if she needed to do it for her own success.
“Would you like to, uh, come and have a drink of tea?” I offered, nodding down the hall to the next door. It was funny how the tables had turned quickly. Her speech about Hera and being powerful and strong compelled me to be that for her, even if on the inside I didn’t feel as strong as I should.
“Yes, I would like that.” She smiled and stepped aside to let me lead the way. I smiled and made my way toward the next door. A happy knot of excitement and delight filled my stomach at the prospect of having a genuine, trustworthy friend amongst all these snakes.
Chapter 22
We sat over a pot of tea and she managed to get me to open about Aidan. I told her how conflicted I was, feeling what I felt for him and what Hera felt for Zeus. I explained what he’d done to me and the struggles I’d had leading up to that false commitment.
I spilled my guts to her because something about her made me feel safe. I didn’t feel foolish for being up and down, uncertain about everything to do with him. She seemed to understand the struggle I’d been enduring since meeting him and encouraged me that it was the nature of love.
It wasn’t supposed to be easy and we weren’t supposed to get it in the way we expected to receive it. In fact, we were supposed to be surprised by love, caught off guard and torn. The inner turmoil should be expected when something like love entered our lives because love’s intention was to change us. Humans, of course, by nature rejected change at first.
Everything she said was insightful and mature, certainly not something I would expect from someone as baby faced as her. She barely looked like she’d finished puberty let alone old enough to be wise in the ways of love. I wanted to ask her
how she knew but I felt perhaps that was a bit rude.
Love didn’t exactly have a guidebook and who was to say someone her age couldn’t have been in love before?
Every love was different, that’s what she told me. Some were turbulent like an ocean, always changing and restless and others were constant like the spinning of earth. I longed for the constant type but I knew in my mind that I would always be drawn to that of the ocean.
I hated the idea of attracting only those kinds of relationships when I yearned for the other kind but like she said about fate: if that wasn’t in the cards for me then I
couldn’t fight it. Try as we might to make this a second chance, the more things that happened to me the more I realized we were simply replaying past histories.
“How long have you been here?” I finally asked, feeling like I ought to engage her now and give her the chance to do some of the talking. Though she did appear to be quite content to give me advice.
“I think it’s been about a month. It’s hard to keep track though, time is weird here.”
I smiled, “I’ve noticed that too. I think I’ve been here almost two weeks. Maybe…” I thought about it, trying to count how long ago it had been since I left for Athens but time was jumbled together in my head it was hard to sometimes tell day from night. And for all I knew the time here could be incredibly different compared to time back out in the real world. A day here could be like a year in real life. There was no way of knowing unless we returned to our old lives.
“A month though, that’s a lot longer than me…”
“Yeah, I was one of the first to get here. Atlas came and got me personally, bringing me here.” There was something sad in her smile, like a shadow lingering behind her expression. It was a glimmer though, and before long it was gone and she looked content once more.
“But you still don’t know your Goddess.” I said a matter-of-factly as she nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, weird huh? You’d think being here, surrounded by all these incredible people and the incredible magic she would want to get back to her former life but it’s almost as if she’s trying to draw it out for as long as she can…”
Grace of Gods Boxset: Reincarnated Greek Gods YA/NA Series Page 20
