by JA Low
“Sweetheart, you might want to stop that otherwise I am going to have to pull you out of this pool and fuck you in front of everyone.”
Vanessa visibly gulps and yanks me into the pool, she’s laughing when I surface above the water again. She wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. “You could fuck me in this pool and no one would know,” she whispers into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. She’s been drinking, I can tell by the rosy glow on her cheeks.
“Ness,” I growl. She really is testing me; we haven’t been this flirty in a long time. It’s thrown me off how affectionate she’s being toward me. I thought I would have to work much harder to get her like this, who knew all I had to do was throw a goodbye party for her boobs. My fingers slip into her easily, she wiggles closer to me, pressing her body against mine, luckily the water is neck height and you can’t see much. Back and forth through her folds I go.
“I am going to make you come in front of all these people, sweetheart.”
Her eyes are glazing over as I magically play with her clit, but there is a hint of a challenge behind those green irises. Pushing my thumb harder against her throbbing clit, over and over again, I add a couple more fingers to fill her up, in and out, in and out. Vanessa’s cheeks are flushed and she is so close. I capture her scream with my mouth, kissing her while she rides my fingers slowly as her orgasm subsides.
“Fuck, that was sexy,” Axel says beside us.
“Fuck off, Axe,” Vanessa says, splashing water in his face.
He quickly puts his hands up, surrendering. “Have fun you two,” he comments, as he swims away.
“Sorry about him, he’s such a voyeur.”
“We know that’s true,” she giggles, remembering what she saw at the Paradise Club.
“You like being a little exhibitionist, don’t you, angel?”
“I think so.”
“I will take you back to the club when you are all healed if you like?”
She smiles, gives me a quick kiss on the lips and starts swimming away from me.
***
“Ness, Ness, where are you?” I call out into the empty home, everyone has finally gone home and I am shattered, I just want to curl up with Vanessa and go to sleep, maybe if I’m lucky we might get to do something else. But I can’t seem to find her anywhere. Then I hear it, very faint sniffling coming from her old room. When I find her, she is sitting on the end of the spare bed, her tanned shoulders hunched over and she’s crying. The closer I get I realize there is something in her hand, it looks like a book she is flipping through the pages of.
“Ness.” She jolts and looks up at me with red eyes. “Babe, what’s the matter?” I scoop her up in my arms, holding her tight against me. She opens the book up again. It is black and leather bound, the white pages are thick cardboard style. Turning the pages my eyes are mesmerized by what I see, tasteful pictures of Vanessa in various positions and nude. My heart is beating faster and faster as I turned each page. “Ness, you look beautiful.” I turn her face to mine, I can see the concern lacing it.
“I look good now, but what happens if I am no longer attractive? When I have too many scars?” Vanessa looks at me, she looks so fragile and vulnerable.
“I would still find you the most beautiful woman in the world, scars or no scars. I don’t care, it’s what’s inside that counts, babe.”
She hiccups as her tears fall. “Easy for you to say, when all those hot groupies are throwing themselves at you, with their perfect bodies and skin, then you come home to me.”
Was she serious? Grabbing her face, I make her look at me. “You’re it for me, Ness, there has been no one else inside my heart but you. It’s always been you.” Shit, I hope that she doesn’t freak her out.
“You really think that?” she asks quietly.
“Yeah, I do, babe.” I kiss her cheek.
She gives me a timid smile and that’s when I know she gets it; she gets that I’m not playing anymore.
My parents and Christian are here in the waiting room with me. I am freaking out. Christian’s mom has flown in as well, she is staying at the house and getting things ready for me. Christian is quite adamant that I will be staying with him during recovery—well in all honesty I haven’t left his side all weekend. We spent the time together lazing by the pool, watching movies, making love. Yeah, it might be stupid because I could totally die on the operating table, and if I did, I want my last moments on earth to have been filled with mind blowing orgasms and the best sex of my life. Christian paid careful attention to my breasts, really giving them the best send-off he could think of. Mainly it was jerking himself over them, claiming he was marking his territory.
I am so happy that Christian is here with me at the hospital, he’s my rock, and has been throughout this whole process over the past month. He’s holding my hand while I am dressed in a horrible hospital gown and hair net, I watch as the nurses walk past and take him in, and why wouldn’t they, he is a rock star, even if he wasn’t, heads would still turn. His light brown hair is longer, wavy, as if he has been at the beach all day, those whiskey colored eyes dance with mischief, and that body, a body made for sin. Sculptured arms that should be on a Greek god, colorful tattoos covering his tanned skin, washboard abs that deserve to be on a billboard, and that cock, that beautiful, silky cock that brings the most amazing pleasure you could ever imagine. I may have done some good in a past life because for some reason he has chosen me to give his heart to. Me, the woman who is losing her breasts, a piece of me that makes me feel like a woman; the same woman that broke his heart when he had the balls to tell her how he felt. Fuck, I really am a fool. A fool that is too scared to see what is right in front her. My eyes fall onto his beautiful face, the same one that smiled up at me this morning as he snuggled me in bed. I just stare at him, committing everything to memory so if I don’t wake up then I can dream forever about his beautiful face.
“Are you okay, Ness?” he whispers, noticing me staring at him.
“Yeah, I just…” I take a deep breath, “Just can’t believe how lucky I am to have you by my side.”
He wraps one of his large arms around me. “I am just as lucky, angel, to have you back in my life.” He places a kiss on my forehead.
My heart bursts, totally overfilled with love for this man, but before I get a chance to tell him how I feel, the orderly comes in with a hospital bed and asks me to get in as he will be taking me down for the surgery. The shit is about to get real. I kiss my mom and dad goodbye; I can see the worry on my mother’s face. She tells me I will be okay and to look forward to a long and healthy future. The panic is rolling over my body. Christian helps me get into the bed, he holds my hand as we walk down the corridor, his beautiful smile looking down at me, his brown hair pulled back while a couple of wisps of hair have escaped.
“I am going to be waiting for you right here, okay?” he says firmly.
“I’m sorry, sir, this is as far as you can go.” The orderly tells him.
He looks down at me and I can see he is holding back his fears trying to put a brave face on for me. What happens if I don’t wake up? He won’t know how much I fucking love him? Why the fuck did I ever say no to this man? He is so far in my soul that it hurts.
“Christian.” I call his name and ask him to bend down. “Can you give us a moment, please?” I ask the orderly, who nods and moves away from us.
“Chris, I need to tell you something, just in case something happens.” I try and keep the tears back but I can’t because I am so fucking scared.
“Babe, don’t think like that, everything is going to be okay, you hear me.”
I nod but the lump in my throat feels like it’s trying to choke me. “I need you to know something before I go in.”
Christian nods giving me his full attention.
“I’ve been so scared of my feelings for you, and fear guided my decisions before. I wanted to say yes to you at the wedding when you bared everything to me. The way you make
me feel consumes me. I was worried that if I took that chance, that if anything happened, breaking up with you would end me. There was no coming back from that kind of heartbreak, so I chose fear.”
I can see tears welling in Christian’s eyes, it’s the first time we have spoken about that night.
He goes to speak but I silence him. “What I want to say is, I love you. I love you so fucking much that my heart can’t contain it.”
I hear Christian’s audible gasp and see his eye widen.
“I need you to know if you are willing to take a chance on me, I want it all, Chris, I want it all with you. It’s always been you.”
Christian’s lips come down on mine in a heated kiss, his tears falling onto my cheeks.
“It’s you and me against the world now, babe.”
I nod in agreement, trying to hold back my tears.
“I fucking love you so much, Ness, and I can’t wait until you open your eyes again after this surgery and we can spend the rest of our long lives together.”
Now it was my turn to gasp.
He just smirks. “That’s right, angel, you and me, forever and ever.” He kisses me one last time.
The orderly clears his throat. “Sorry, we have to go.”
Christian holds my hand until the last possible moment and then he’s gone and I slip into a deep dark abyss.
***
“We are going to get married and have babies and grow old together.” I mumble through the haze.
“Damn right we are.” I hear that voice, that deep timbered voice that warms my body.
“I can’t wait to get you home and ravage you, Chris,” I slur.
Then I hear laughter and it sounds like my mum.
“Mum?” I call out, my eyes feeling too heavy to open and my mouth so very dry.
“I’m here, sweetheart,” she answers, squeezing my hand.
“I’m alive, I made it.” I marvel as I realize I am alive. That something horrible didn’t happen to me in surgery.
“Yes, sweetheart, you are alive. The doctor said everything went well and he is very happy with the results.”
I sink back into the fluffy pillows, thank fuck.
“He said your boobs look great.” I hear Christian from beside me and turn my head to where his voice is coming from. Willing my eyes to open, they finally move and I blink at the bright light when I see Christian’s face staring back at me, his beautiful face. “You are so hot.” The words tumble out of my mouth, damn anesthetic.
“You look pretty hot yourself.” He moves closer to kiss my forehead.
Over the next hour I slowly come out of my fog and I can see everything a little clearer. I realize I can’t move and the pain of the surgery comes into play. The doctor finally comes in and runs me through the procedure; how they took my breasts but saved my nipples, they had to play around with different size breasts because of the skin elasticity and actually ended up settling on a D cup, much to Christian’s delight. I will be in the hospital for about five days to make sure there is no infection and I will be discharged once all my vitals are in order. Christian advises the doctor that he has organized twenty-four hour nursing care for me when I am at home, which seems like overkill but it’s probably for the best. Poor Christian, he doesn’t need to wipe my ass for me.
V’s been home for about a month now and she is definitely stronger than she was when she first came home. Seeing her in pain, the tears falling down her face, all because she would forget she couldn’t lift her arms or she would roll over in the middle of the night forgetting she had surgery. Those blood curdling screams at night were scary. Thankfully we have nurses on call because I was a complete mess. Seeing the woman I love in that much pain ripped me to the core. I want to help her but Ness hates being dependent on me, even though I told her that I would be by her side the whole time.
Thankfully our mothers are still here helping with her recovering. Sylvie, Vanessa’s mom, she has been helping the nurses with her day to day well-being and my mom has been cooking up her famous southern comfort food for me, which I have missed living in LA. I’ve probably gained one hundred pounds from her cooking but I don’t care because it’s so good. Mom is a retired nurse and she’s explained to me what Vanessa is going through in basic terms so that I could understand. I’ve found Vanessa crying by herself and I try to help her but nothing seems to work. Mom told me what signs to watch out for in case Vanessa sinks into depression, which apparently is common for a woman when losing her breasts. She explained that for a woman it can feel like losing the very essence of herself, her femininity, her beauty, and no matter how much encouragement I give her she needs to process the loss herself. So I let Ness cry herself to sleep some nights, which kills me, but I notice that when Vanessa does have these mini breakdowns she appears stronger. I hope I am doing the right thing.
***
“Mornin’, darlin’,” Momma says, handing me a steaming hot coffee as she sits down beside me in a pool chair. “How ya feeling?”
“I’m good, Ness is good. She’s got most of her movement back and her pain is finally subsiding.”
“But how are you doin’?” she asks, being a concerned mother.
“Yeah, I’m alright.” I sip on the piping hot liquid.
“So, what are your plans?” she asks, peeking over her coffee mug at me.
“What do you mean?” I question, because I know exactly what she means.
“What are your plans with Vanessa?” She gives me a piercing look. “Are you going to make an honest woman out of her?”
I choke on my coffee. “Mom!”
“Don’t you ‘Mom’ me, I want to know if there is a chance I am going to be a grand momma or not?”
I’m in total shock.
“You love her, boy, so hurry up and put a ring on it,” she states firmly.
“Mom, I finally got her to confess her feelings for me. She’s been through a lot so we are taking it slow.”
“You have spent the past six years taking it slow, now’s the time to go grab the bull by the horns.”
I love my mom, I really do but she is kind of desperate for grandkids, and now that there is a slight chance that could happen she is on full baby alert, especially as she has been spending time with Ryder while’s she’s been here.
“Don’t worry, when the time is right I will put a ring on it, okay?”
Mom nods. “I knew the first time you brought her home that she was the one.”
I roll my eyes at her, she always says this.
“Don’t you roll your eyes at me, boy, it’s the truth. You both gravitated toward each other, everything was natural between the two of you. I could see your connection then, even though you were both fighting it. I understood, especially as a woman in the workplace.”
I’m close with my mom so she knows how Ness and I met and everything that has happened between us.
“I knew she was the one because she only had eyes for you, not your brother.”
It sucked when a girl I was interested in was way more interested in my brother. Most girls liked the brooding poetic vibe that Axel oozed. I would bring a girl home and their focus would be on Axel when he was around, listening to him sing, watching him write music or play his guitar. He would always have them eating out of his hand by the end of the day. I had no need not to trust him, he was my brother, but when I came home from football practice early one day and found my first serious girlfriend in bed with him, I was so fucking hurt. She later confessed that she was curious to see if we both fucked the same. I punched my brother out that day and we didn’t talk for a long time. He eventually told me he did it to test her and that she was no good for me. After that incident I gave up trying to have a relationship with anyone because I was worried that they would secretly want my brother.
“I know. I promise, Mom, you will be the first to know when we get engaged, okay?”
She leans over and kisses my head. “Perfect, now hurry the hell up.” She ruffles my hair as
she takes our cups back inside.
***
“I am so fucking horny, Ness,” I whisper into her ear as we sit patiently at the doctor’s surgery for her check-up. It’s been nearly five weeks since Vanessa and I have had sex and my blue balls are killing me.
“I just want the all clear from the doctor first.” She runs her hand along my thigh.
“The plastic surgeon said it was okay,” I moan.
“Yes, but I’m just waiting for my oncologist to give me the all clear, then I am all yours, I promise.” She smiles, giving me a wink.
“Miss Roberts.” The doctor calls her name and we make our way into his office. The doctor looks over her tests results and examines her. What he asks next totally floors us. “So, Vanessa have you decided what you are going to do with your ovaries?”
“I’m sorry, what?” Vanessa asks.
“If you are going to have a hysterectomy? Saving your eggs and implanting later? Or are you thinking about not having kids?”
Vanessa stiffens.
“You are in your prime birthing years at the moment and each year increases your risk of ovarian cancer, due to your genetics.”
Fuck, that was heavy and after everything Vanessa has just been through she now has to think of this as well.
“I know this is a lot to think about, and you probably haven’t broached the subject with your partner, but you really need to think about it and start planning. I suggest you go home and talk about your options,” he says as he hands us both a stack of brochures and information.
“No need to talk doc. We are having kids, just need you to give Vanessa the all clear and we can get started.”
“Christian,” Vanessa scolds me.
“Don’t look so shocked, angel, you and I are in this for the long haul and if you have to have a baby now so you can have a hysterectomy later, so you don’t get cancer, then that is what we do.” I cross my arms over my chest. I want to have babies with her, just like Evan has with Sienna. I want to play football and baseball in the backyard with my son or teach him to play guitar.
