by Kiki Swinson
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. So, I’m going to need you to have Teresa download and print out the entire report and have it on my desk within the hour.”
“I’ll let her know.”
“Has she made it in yet?”
“Yes, she has.”
“All right, well when she’s done, I would like for you to meet me in my office shortly thereafter for a brief meeting.”
“Okay,” I told him and then we ended our call.
“What the hell does he want now?” Teresa didn’t hesitate to ask.
“He wants me to have you to download and print out the entire SOL report and put it on his desk within the next fifty-nine minutes.”
“When did the report come out?”
“A few minutes ago.”
“Well, why the hell does he wants me to do it? Doesn’t he have a secretary of his own?”
“Yeah, but you know how he is. So, just do it for me.”
Teresa stood up from my lounge chair and said, “Trust me. I’m only doing it for you.”
“Thanks, girl.”
“Don’t mention it. I just wish I could tell your fat-ass boss to go to hell without suffering the repercussions of getting fired.”
I burst into laughter and told Teresa to calm down.
“Oh, I’m calm. I’m just frustrated at how he’s always trying to carry you. I mean, he’s always riding you behind dumb shit! And he’s probably doing it because he’s intimidated by you and scared that you’re gonna snatch his job up from underneath him. But, if I were you, I wouldn’t let that bastard faze me one bit.”
“Believe me, I’m not,” I assured her in five words or less. And then I had to usher her out of my office because she had a job to do, and it was my duty to relieve her so she could do it.
Shortly after Teresa printed the SOL report, Mr. Baker and I had our meeting as planned, which of course ended on a sour note and I got the bad end of the stick, because the SOL scores for our entire school weren’t up to his standards. Now, I had to have a meeting with my teachers and make them feel the remnants of the wrath I just encountered in Steve’s office. It was just a classic case of the domino effect. So, it was nothing personal.
Finally, my work day ended, and I was truly looking forward to the Valentine’s Day cocktail party. Winding down with a cold fruity cocktail was all I could think about. Teresa, along with a few other teachers and staff members, came together in our lounge area to celebrate this occasion as well. But, for some reason or another, Teresa did not seem to be enjoying herself. It was obvious her mind was somewhere else. The way she cradled her drink in her hand told it all.
So, immediately after I poured myself a hefty one on the rocks, I joined her in the far right corner of the room.
“What’s with the long face?” I asked her, the moment I approached her.
She took a sip of her cocktail and said, “I am so sick of my life and everything in it.”
“What happened now?”
“I just got a call from Darren.”
“What did he say?”
“He told me that he couldn’t see me anymore and that it was over.”
“Why are you sad, Teresa? Him breaking it off with you is a good thing. He did not deserve to have you in his life. So, it’s truly a blessing in disguise.”
“I know that. But, I just cannot get past the way he makes me feel when we’re together.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to. Because, believe you me, that son of a bitch is going to get over you really quick.”
“I sure wish my heart could believe that.”
“It will. Just give it time.”
“But, what do I do in the meantime?” She pressed on after she took another sip of her drink.
“Count your blessings and move on with your life.”
“Easy for you to say,” she commented and then she abruptly stood up to leave.
“Where are you going?” I got concerned.
“To the ladies’ room, to let off some steam.”
“Wait, don’t go in there. Come on; let’s go to my office, so you can have a little more privacy,” I insisted and immediately led her into that direction.
“Where are you two off to?” one of my teachers asked us as we walked by.
“To take a walk. We’ll be right back,” I told her.
On our way to my office, Teresa made a detour to her desk to retrieve her purse. But she did not allow a second to pass before she was back on the path to join me in my office. Once we had arrived, I closed and locked the door while she took a seat on my lounge chair and set her drink down on the floor next to her feet.
“Do you want to set your glass down on my desk?”
“No. It’s fine,” she replied, and then she dove head first into her handbag and began to ramble in it rapidly.
“What are you looking for?” I wondered aloud, as I took a seat on the edge of my desk.
“My candy,” she told me, revealing a folded dollar bill and an altered straw, made to be used as an instrument to snort any powdered form of drug.
In a demanding tone I said, “Wait, hold up,” as I stood up on my feet.
Teresa looked up at me in a puzzled manner and said, “What?”
“What the hell you mean, what?” I snapped. “I thought you stopped using that stuff.”
“I did.”
“When?” I replied, standing directly before her.
“A few weeks ago.” She started explaining herself as she began unfolding the dollar bill filled with a mixture of cocaine and heroin. “But, shortly thereafter shit started caving in all around me, so I went back to it.”
In disbelief, I continued to stand there, mouth wide open and unable to say a word. Meanwhile, she placed the open bill in the palm of one hand and the straw in the other hand. Then she began to gather all of the powdery substance to the center of the bill, until she had it in one straight line. Moments later, she inserted one end of the straw into the drug and the other end into her nose. What she did next put the icing on the cake. When she pulled her head back and ejected the straw from her nose, the residue from the drugs found refuge around the entire right nostril of her nose.
“Woooo! This shit is a missile!” she blurted out.
“Shsssssh, be quiet before somebody hears you. And wipe your nose, while you’re at it.”
Taking heed to my minor demands, she sat the dollar bill and straw down next to her on the chair, wiped her nose clean, and said, “You need to lighten up!”
“No. You need to get it together.”
“Why are you acting like you’ve never seen me get high before?”
“Is that the impression I’m giving you?” I asked sarcastically.
“Hey, look Faith, I don’t want to argue. So, please don’t beat me up about this,” Teresa expressed and then she laid her head back against the headrest of the chair.
“Don’t want me to blow your high, huh?”
“That’s the whole idea,” she mumbled loud enough for me to hear.
Feeling at odds with what I was witnessing hit a major nerve right in the temple of my forehead, so naturally I wanted to react. But then my conscience started eating away at me, which made me realize that I was using the wrong approach. And in knowing this, I decided to take two steps backwards. Now, as I was doing this, Teresa mustered up enough energy to open up her eyes to see what it was that I was doing. And at that point I said, “Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, I’m good.”
“Are you sure?” I pressed on.
“Hell yeah, I’m sure. This shit I got pumping through me ain’t nothing but the truth. I mean, it’ll blow your fucking mind and it’ll have you forget about all your problems.”
“So, I’ve heard,” I commented nonchalantly.
“No, I’m being serious here,” she began to explain as she sat straight up, grabbing the dollar bill in hand. “You would be truly amazed at how this shit will make you feel.”
“You�
�ve mentioned that to me before.” I had to remind her.
“Yeah, I know. And I’ve tried to get you to test the waters too, but you keep getting cold feet on me.”
“Look, just put that up before somebody comes knocking on my door.”
“Oh, cut it out. Nobody’s going to come looking for us and you know it. So, stop being so uptight and get on over here and try some of this good stuff. I promise you, you’re going to love it.”
Before I made an attempt to reject her offer as I’ve done a few times in the past, she pressed the issue more by saying, “Come on girl, do it for me.”
“No, thanks,” I finally told her and then I took another sip of my cocktail.
“Come on, please,” she insisted. “I promise it’s going to relieve you from all that stress Steve constantly piles on top of you.”
“What are you trying to do, turn me into an addict?”
“No, I’m not. All I want you to do is try it one time. And if you don’t like it, then that’s fine. Plus, I promise I’ll never ask you to mess with it again.”
The pressure from Teresa started mounting around me pretty quickly because on one hand, she was right. Steve was constantly stressing me the hell out. I was also beginning to dislike my job. Plus, my life at home wasn’t all that great. My husband Eric always seemed to find fault in everything I did. And the fact that he looked for me to be this perfect trophy wife really put a strain on our relationship. The only thing that kept me sane was my daughter Kimora. Looking into her face every single day was the only reason why I continued to press forward. Other than that, I’d be in a slump. So, I guessed Teresa might be right for once. Maybe taking a hit of that drug one time would do the trick for me. Who knew, I may not even like it. But, I’d never know until I tried.
“Hey, what’s up? Are you going to try it or not?” she asked once again.
I hesitated at first. But then I said, “Okay. I’ll do it, just this one time.”
Teresa stood up on her feet, smiling, and said, “That’s the spirit!”
So, within moments of the excitement Teresa put on display, I found myself lying at the hands of her mercy. She instructed me to sit back in my chair while she did the initial prepping. All that was left for me to do was to snort the drug in its entirety. And as soon as I did just that, my left nostril started burning intensely. As the feeling became more and more unbearable, I scrambled to my feet in an effort to retrieve some tissue paper from my tissue box, placed at the far right corner of my desk.
Seeing this, Teresa knew exactly what I was experiencing, so she took the liberty of grabbing a small piece of tissue paper for me and dipped a fraction of it into my drink. Three seconds later, she handed me the partially wet and discolored tissue and said, “Here, just stick this in your nose. It’ll soothe the burning sensation and help drain most of the powder down into your mouth.”
Following her instructions once again, I found that this little technique worked. It also didn’t take long for the drugs to take effect, because at one point I began to feel cheerful and excited. And then all of a sudden, my heart started beating a lot faster than usual, which, of course, scared the hell out of me. So, I looked into Teresa’s face and said, “I’ve got to go.”
“Where are you going?” she wanted to know.
“I don’t know,” I began to tell her as I raced for my office door. “I’ve just got to get out of here and do something because my heart is running a mile a minute.” I grabbed a hold of the doorknob.
“Okay, we can go outside and take a walk. But, wait for me,” Teresa suggested as she struggled to dispose of both the dollar bill and the straw.
So, once that was done, we headed directly outside into the parking lot, only to end up taking a stroll around the school’s track. Luckily for me, I decided to wear my comfortable loafers that. Because if I hadn’t, I would not have lasted a quarter of a mile in my normal four-inch heels. Teresa, on the other hand, chose to take it easy after the second lap and elected to watch me from the bleachers on the sidelines, but I kept it moving because I had an instant burst of energy to burn, and that’s what I did.
We stayed outside for about forty-five minutes. And then, once I realized that my heart rate had begun to slow down, I retired my walking shoes. Soon thereafter, Teresa and I returned to the party and had a few more drinks to mellow us out. The transition went smoothly and I felt like I was on top of the world.
It’s a high that’ll make you feel like you can do anything. The effects of the drug also made me feel carefree and that nothing in the world could upset me right now. So, I loved every minute of it. And loved it to the point that I followed Teresa all the way home to get high some more, which was the start of my demise.
No Turning Back
The street lights caught up with me before I had to chance to make it home, which was when I realized that it had to be late. And when I looked down at my wristwatch and noticed that it was eight-thirty, I panicked because I knew that I had missed my in-laws’ dinner engagement. Not to mention, how angry Eric was going to be when we came face to face. I also knew that there was absolutely no way that I could come up with a good enough lie for him to understand why I was absent tonight. So, it was a no-brainer that I was going to get a tongue-lashing the moment I entered our home. And to prevent prolonging the inevitable, I pressed down on the accelerator to give my car more gas and headed home.
Now when I walked into the house, it was unusually quiet. So, I called out Eric and Kimora’s names but got no answer; which was kind of strange, considering it was almost nine o’clock at night. My first reaction prompted me to go through the entire house to look for them, but I chose to check the garage for Eric’s car instead.
When I opened up the hallway door that led to the garage and noticed that his car wasn’t there, I let out a sigh of relief. Having him detect that something wasn’t quite right with me wasn’t a conversation I was ready to embrace. Knowing him and his clever mind, it wouldn’t be hard for him to figure out that I was under the influence of drugs. And the only way I would be able to shake it off was by getting some rest. So, before I went up to my room to retire for the night, I picked up the telephone and called him. I could not have him and Kimora barging in on me and destroying my high, so pinpointing his whereabouts was very critical for me at that point. And fortunately enough, he answered his cellular phone on the second ring.
“Hey baby, where are you?” I asked him in a cheerful manner, only to feel out his mood.
“I’m still at my parents’. Why?” he replied, his tone never changing.
“Well, because I’m home and you’re not. So, I wanted to know where you were.”
“The question is, where were you?” he continued, his voice remaining emotionless.
“At work. You know I had to conduct a couple of meetings with a few of my teachers,” I lied, knowing very well I was hanging out with my best friend Teresa at her apartment, snorting more of the heroin and cocaine she mixed together in that dollar bill.
Today was my very first day experimenting with the drug and I must say that it relaxed the hell out of me. On one hand, I felt real cheesy and ashamed. But after all the stress I’d been experiencing on my job, I saw no other resolution but this.
To be perfectly honest, I’d exhausted every resource I had within my grasp and nothing ever seemed to work. So, if anybody had their own opinion about the recent choices I’d made in my life, then they needed to keep it to themselves. Quiet as it is kept, I’d been living out my entire life trying to please other people and I was tired of it. From that point on, I was going to live my life according to the way I saw fit. Screw everybody else and their expectations of me. It was time to do me.
“Yes, I was aware of that. But, it’s Valentine’s Day and you promised me that you were going to meet here at my parents’ house right after you tied everything up at work.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. So, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“Don’
t bother,” he retorted in a nonchalant manner.
“But, I want to,” I began to whine.
“Hey, listen, I’ve got to go.”
“Okay, but where is Kimora?”
“She’s in the kitchen with Grandma and Grandpa, eating ice cream and cake.”
“Well, what time are you two heading home?”
“Probably within the next hour or so.”
I sighed heavily and said, “All right. Well, I’m going to get ready for bed, then.”
“Suit yourself,” he commented, and then he hung up.
The moment I realized that there was nothing but dead air between my telephone line and his, I pressed down on the flash button and place the receiver back into the base holder, since there was no use in me calling him back. I mean, who would I be kidding? He didn’t want to talk to me. So, I was going to leave well enough alone and head on up to my bedroom. Giving my body the rest that it needed was better suited for me at that moment. And that was exactly what I was going to do.
When I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, I immediately called Eric’s name. But once again I got no answer and was forced to get out of bed and look for him. I looked in Kimora’s bedroom first and noticed that she hadn’t slept in it at all. So, I headed downstairs to the living room area and still they were nowhere in sight. Then something told me to check the garage for Eric’s car, so I did. And of course, it wasn’t there. So, I got back on the telephone and dialed all seven digits of his cellular phone number, but for some odd reason, he didn’t answer. This led me to dial the number to his parents’ house. His mother answered.
“Hello,” she said.
“Good morning, Mrs. Kathy.”
“Good morning to you, too.”
“Is Eric there?” I didn’t hesitate to ask.
“No, honey, he just left to take Kimora to school.”
“How long ago was that? Because I just tried to call him on his mobile.”
“Probably about fifteen minutes ago. He said he was going to head on to work as soon as he dropped her off.”
“Oh, really?” I answered with a chuckle.
“Yep, that’s what he told me before he left.”
