by Kiki Swinson
“Well, why didn’t you just come back here?”
“Come back here for what? I ain’t have shit to bring here with me,” she replied in an animated way, making gestures with her hands. “And not only that, I started feeling really ill, so I just stayed my ass out there until I was able to trick some shit up.”
“Well, did you get what you needed?” My questions kept coming in a sarcastic manner.
“Not really. But, a few muthafuckas looked out for me,” she told me and then she said, “Oh yeah, Zena told me you came out there looking for me.”
“Yes, I did. You had me worried to death, sitting around here waiting for you. Shit, I didn’t know what to think.”
Teresa gave me another one of her cheesy smiles and said, “Ahhh, that’s so sweet!”
“Sweet, my ass! I am not going to keep going through this dumb shit with you. That’s why I packed up my shit.”
“Where you going?” she asked as her facial expression changed.
“I’m gonna check into a rehab center in the morning.”
“But, why?”
“Because I’m tired of living like this. I mean, look at this place. It’s a fucking mess. We don’t have a damn thing in here to eat. The water is cut off. The lights are going to be next. And then, on top of that, you’re about to be put out on the streets for not paying the rent. So, do you think I wanna sit around here and wait for all that to happen, when I can leave now?”
“Oh, so you’re trying to shit on me, now?” she struck back, but this time her words came out a little more clear.
“And why would I do that?” I asked her. “I’m in no better position than you right now. I’m only trying to get you to see what’s really going on around here.”
“I don’t need you to point shit out to me. I’m not blind!”
“Well, if you ain’t blind, then do something about it.”
“I will. You’ll see,” she told me as if she was trying desperately to convince me.
“Okay. I believe you,” I replied and stood up from the chair. “So, you’re getting ready to leave now?”
I sighed and said, “Yeah. It’s time for me to go.”
“Well, can you at least stay here for one more night?”
“I can’t.”
She pressed the issue. “Why not?”
“Because I promised my mother-in-law that I would come right back, after I gathered up my things.”
“Oh, so that’s who’s putting you in a rehab?”
“Yep,” I said and I slid the chair under the table.
“What is your husband saying about it?”
“He doesn’t know. Me and his parents are going to keep it a secret until after I get out.”
“Do you know where you’re going?”
“Nah, not yet. They said they were going to make a few phone calls while I was gone. But, it really doesn’t matter. I just want to get it over with, so I can my family back.”
“Well, I can’t blame you for that,” Teresa said, as she stood up next to me. “I would be trying to do the same thing if I was in your shoes. So, before I let you out of my sight, we are gonna have to celebrate one last time.”
“Nah, that’s okay.”
“Come on, Faith, one last time ain’t gonna hurt you.”
“I know. But, Mr. and Mrs. Simmons are waiting on me.”
“Okay, I understand all that. But, this is your last night of freedom. So, enjoy it!” she pressed on.
So, there I was, once again standing before my best friend, hesitating to make a judgment call. And it seemed like every time she forced my back up against the wall, I always gave in. I mean, it was like she had this effect on me, where I couldn’t tell her no. But, I told myself I couldn’t let her have her way this time, which meant I needed to stand my ground.
So, I looked at her and said, “Sorry! But, I got to go.”
“So, you gon’ run out on me like that?” She sounded disappointed.
“Teresa, I am not trying to fuck around with that anymore.”
“I understand all that. But, you act like the shit is gon’ kill you. And besides, a whole lot of muthafuckers who be getting ready to go off into detox, always get fucked up the night before they leave. It’s like a fucking ritual.”
Now instead of commenting, I just stood there. So, she grabbed me by my arm and pulled me in the direction of the living room. And like a dummy with no brains, I followed.
“Now, all I got is a little bit of this shit left but since this is your last night, I’m gon’ show you some love,” she continued as she laid everything out on the coffee table.
And as she was doing that, it dawned on me that Papoose had given me two pills of his dope earlier. So, I pulled them out of my pocket and laid them out on the table with the rest of the stuff. And that’s when Teresa’s eyes lit up.
“Wait a minute. That looks like two caps of that Predator,” she didn’t hesitate to say.
“It is.”
“And how the hell did you get that?”
“When I came out there looking for you today, Papoose ran up to my car and just gave ’em to me.”
“Whatcha mean, he just gave ’em to you?”
“Well, first of all, he flagged me down to see if I wanted to cop. But when I told him that I wasn’t trying to fuck around like that anymore because I was going in a rehab, he threw both of the caps at me and told me to take it as a going-away present. And then before I pulled off, he commented on how fat my pussy looked in these jeans, and then he had the nerve to tell me that if I changed my mind about going in, then to come look him up ’cause he’s looking for a new girlfriend.”
“Oh yeah, if that nigga said that, then he’s trying to get with you, for real.”
“Girl, please, I am not thinking about none of that shit he was talking about.”
“Well, did you tell him that?”
“No. I just laughed at him and pulled off.”
“Well, you should’ve gotten his cell phone number.”
“For what?”
“Because, if a nigga will give you free dope one time, then trust me, you’ll be able to get it again.”
“Girl, I am not fucking with that young-ass boy.”
“Shit! Don’t sleep on him. That young boy got plenty of money. And if you played your cards right, he’ll damn sho’ give you some of it.”
“Well, that’s flattering. But, I’m trying to get my husband back. So, fuck that young boy!”
“Well, suit yourself,” Teresa said as she injected the needle in the side of her stomach, which of course freaked me the hell out.
So, I said, “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Girl, calm down! I got this.”
“Whatcha trying to do, kill your baby?”
“Now, how am I trying to kill her when all I’m doing is skin popping?”
“Why aren’t you shooting it up in your arms?”
“Because I’ve used up all the veins in ’em.”
“Well, I know you still got some good veins in your legs.”
“Yeah, I do. But, I’m just not trying to go there right now.”
I shook my head in disbelief, closed my mouth, and didn’t utter another word. I could sense she was getting irritated because I was fucking up her high, so I chilled out and let her do her thing. Now, once I got my nerves back intact, I pushed the tip of the straw in both of my nostrils and waited for the drug to take effect. And as expected, the shit started working instantly. So, once again I was traveling down the yellow brick road. And I was loving every minute of it.
Forced to Hit the Streets
After Teresa and I put a hurting on both caps of that Predator, we went out right back out Grandy Park around four o’clock in the morning and scored two more caps. Too bad we couldn’t get some of that Predator, because our minds were dead set on copping some. Instead, we ended up scoring from some rookie-ass nigga out there named Spanky. He was holding the red bags, which was some okay dope, so he
let us get them both with the last fifteen dollars I had in my pocket. And of course that meant that I was broke all over again.
When we returned back to the apartment, we divided up our purchase. I took one pill, she took the other one, and we both wasted little or no time going right to it. Our high was an instant hit, but it didn’t last very long. And trust me, it made us livid, too. By six in the morning, we were right back to square one, sitting around in her living room, trying to think of a way we could come up with ten more dollars so we could score another pill of dope. And from the way things were looking, our options were very limited.
“You don’t have anything to sell?” Teresa asked me while she paced back and forth through the apartment.
“Nah. You know I’ve already sold every piece of jewelry I had, except for my wedding band. And you know I can’t get rid of that.”
“What about your car?”
“What about it?” I asked with uncertainty.
“You can lend it out again for about $200 worth of dope. Just like last time,” she replied, as if she had come up with a brilliant idea.
So I threw the same exact idea back into her lap, but she wasn’t so receptive. “Girl please, ain’t nobody gonna want to rent my beat-up ass car. But trust me, they’ll love to have yours.”
Now instead of responding immediately, I began to weigh the pros and the cons of this so-called brilliant idea of hers. Because, remember, I’d been burned before by letting irresponsible-ass niggas drive my shit around town with no consideration for timing or for the wear and tear of it. So, as I began to even entertain the thought of allowing it to happen again, Teresa came out of nowhere with another one of her suggestions.
“Listen, I know you don’t want to do it, but look at it this way,” she began to say. “At the end of the day, we are going to be high as a motherfucking kite. And you are going to have your car back, even if means that you gotta get the police involved to get it. So, it’s a win-win situation.”
“But, who wants to go through all that?”
“Nobody. I just threw that out there, so you’ll feel a little better about going through with the whole thing.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what, whoever I decide to let drive my car has to have a license this time, or I just say fuck it!”
“All right. I think we can manage that,” Teresa replied in a giddy manner, because she knew she was about to get her hands on some more of that good dope.
It was six-thirty in the morning and I was right back out in Grandy Park again, cruising through the main strip, looking for a semi-responsible young boy to lend my car to. And when Teresa finally spotted one, she told me to pull over. So, I did.
She said, “You see that light-skinned nigga right there, with the white tee and blue jean shorts?”
“Yeah. What about him?” I replied.
“Well, his name is K-Rock. And he’s down with dem niggas who got that new dope called Helter Skelter. So, if we can get him to give us a little bit of cash to put in our pockets and some of that good shit he be having, then we gon’ be straight.”
“All right. Well, go and see what he’s talking about, but make sure he’s got a license.”
“A’ight,” Teresa said, as she stepped out of the car.
“Oh, and I want to see it, too,” I told her as she walked away.
Meanwhile, I was sitting back in my car, watching Teresa while she waited in line behind a crowd of fiends, whom this guy was serving. Suddenly, I got a tap on my window. Now I will not lie, the shit scared the hell out of me because it was so unexpected. And when I looked around and saw that it was Papoose, I nearly wanted to pass out because I had just told him the day before I wasn’t fucking around with dope anymore, because I was trying to get myself together. And there I was, posted up in a drug spot, waiting for my homegirl to make some arrangements so we could make a trade-off with a nigga named K-Rock. Now, could you imagine how humiliated I was feeling?
So, as I began to roll down the driver’s side window, I braced myself for the inevitable. Niggas like him would disrespect and clown a person on drugs real quick. They looked at us like we were less than them, because of our substance abuse. And they categorized us as being weak too. That’s why you would find a whole lot of old-school dope fiends getting their asses kicked out there by those young-ass dealers. But quiet as it is kept, on a good day those old school cats would stomp a mud hole in those young-ass boys if they didn’t fear that there would be some kind retaliation from the other crew members. So, when shit got really hectic, a fiend would just lay there and take an ass whipping real quick, versus fighting back and getting their asses shot later. And I can’t blame them one bit.
“What’s up, beautiful?” Papoose didn’t hesitate to say.
“You can sure spot me anywhere, huh?”
“I recognized your car.”
“Yeah, it does kind of stand out,” I said.
“So, whatcha doing back out here?” He jumped straight to the punch. “I thought you was going in that rehab joint this morning.”
“Yeah, I was,” I began to say, as I was preparing a lie in my head. “But, the center I was scheduled to go to didn’t have my paperwork right, so I’ve got to wait a couple of days until they can straighten everything out.”
“So, who are you out here with?”
“My girlfriend, Teresa.”
“Where she at?”
“Right there,” I replied, pointing in the direction where Teresa was standing.
“Oh, she’s trying to score from K-Rock?”
“I don’t know what she’s trying to do. All I know is that she asked me to bring her out here because he owed her a favor.”
“Yeah, a’ight! Whatever!” he commented as if he didn’t believe one word I just said. “So, what’s up?” he continued.
“Whatcha mean?” I asked.
And before I knew it, he stuck his head through my car window and tried to kiss my neck. So, I jerked my head a little and asked him why he was trying to kiss me.
“Because I’m trying to be wit’ you. But, you’re playing games,” he replied as he pulled his head back out of the window.
“But, why?” I asked, hoping to get a logical explanation.
“Come on now, look at you!” he began to say, “You’re cute as hell. You got a banging-ass body. And I can tell you’re intelligent by the way you be talking sometimes. So, all I’m saying to you is that you don’t need to be going to a rehab center to get your shit together. ’Cause if you really ain’t trying to fuck with that dope no more, then I can help you.”
I laughed and said, “Now, how can you help me?”
“Trust me, sweetheart I know plenty of mu’fuckas who can getcha some of them meth pills. And when you get a couple of them joints in your system, you ain’t gon’ have no choice but to kick that habit.”
“Well, what is it going to take for you to get me some?”
“All you got to do is say the word and I’ll put you up in a nice-ass hotel and we can get the ball rolling.”
“Well, let me ask you this.”
“What’s up?”
“What are you going to get out of all this?”
“I’m just trying to be with you. That’s it and that’s all.”
“Do you have any idea how old I am?”
“I think you already told me. But, it really doesn’t matter, if you wanna know the truth,” he replied with such sincerity. And from his tone alone, I couldn’t do nothing but take him up on his offer.
So right when I was getting ready to give him the green light, Teresa came running up to the car saying, “Hey Faith, he said he’ll do it, but he’ll only give us fifty dollars in cash and the rest in dope.”
Papoose looked at me and said, “What the fuck is she talking about?”
“Well, um . . .” I said as I began to stutter.
So, he cut me off in an instant and said, “I hope you ain’t about to do nothing stupid with that nigga K-Rock.”
/> “Nah,” I replied as I shook my head.
“So, what is your girlfriend over here talking about? Because if you don’t tell me, I can go over there and find out on my own.”
Feeling my back against the wall, I saw no other option but to be honest with him, since he had an interest in helping me. So, I gave in and told him what me and Teresa’s intentions were. And of course, he made his objection toward it. And while he was going off at the mouth about why I didn’t need to lend out my car, Teresa just stood there and listened.
“So, whatcha want me to tell ’im?” She finally got a word in.
“Tell ’im she ain’t interested.”
But, Teresa wasn’t trying to hear that bullshit Papoose was talking so she looked at me for the final say. And that’s when I said, “Yeah, tell ’im that’s all right.”
Pissed off by my response, she said, “Why the hell you changing your mind today, out of all days? Shit, you know I need my fix.”
“Well, that’s too bad, because she’s got other plans!” Papoose interjected.
“What kind of plans?” she asked looking directly at me.
“He’s going to put me up in a hotel and help me kick this dope habit,” I told her.
“Girl, please, what hustler you know gon’ take a dope fiend off the street and clean her up when he can go out here and pick up any woman he wants, that’s already clean?”
“You looking at ’im,” Papoose blurted out.
“Yeah, whatever,” Teresa replied and threw her hands in the air.
“Sweetheart, don’t be mad ’cause ain’t nobody trying to get you off the streets!”
“I’m not mad, because I’m not ready to get off these streets.”
“It’s hard to tell ’cause as big as your stomach looks, you need to be at home,” he said laughing.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
“Yeah, that’s what they all say. But, I ain’t gon’ get on you too hard, ’cause you’re Faith’s peoples. So, to show you I ain’t no bad individual, I’m gon’ look out for you since I’m getting ready to snatch up your peoples right here. Now, all you gotta do is hold tight and I’ll be right back. A’ight?”
