by Paige North
It’s rebellious—after all, he just said I’ll never get him to love. Fine—but I will tempt him with fucking a virgin bareback. Isn’t that the ultimate for a guy? In a minute, he’s pulled down my yoga pants and panties in one movement, then spreading my legs apart, he stares at my exposed pussy.
His fingers slide a trail down the center of my pussy, as he soaks his fingers with my growing wetness then circles my clit. I almost lose it. “Sit up and take what you want, Alana.”
I’m not one for exhibiting aggressiveness, especially when I just told him I’m a virgin, but I know what he’s doing. He wants to make sure I want it. I sit up, looking into his eyes with heat I can feel throughout my body, and unbutton his jeans. As he takes off his own shirt, I undo his zipper and grip his thick cock through his shorts. There’s a spot of pre-cum on there, and I see the outline of his head.
“What’s in your eyes, Alana? Tell me.”
“You’re big. With a fat head,” I admit.
“And?”
“And I want to feel it pushing into me.” My own words make my muscles clench and squirm for him.
“Then take it out.”
I don’t have to be told twice. Yanking down his jeans, he puts one foot on the floor, then the other, and steps out of both the jeans and the shorts. I have to take a moment to soak this in. Until now, I’ve never seen this man completely naked, and what I see is more marvelous than anything I could possibly imagine. He’s sculpted muscle with a wide, strong chest, cut abs, and a light smattering of hair over his stomach reaching down to his cock, which springs out—a massive extension that almost doesn’t look like it belongs to him.
His balls are clean and bare, and though I want to wrap my mouth around them and suck them into my throat, I want to feel his full power ramming into me—now. It’s a feeling I’ve imagined a hundred times, and now that I finally get my chance, I don’t know what to do.
Kase pushes my knees further apart, the closer they get in my muscles’ quest to squeeze an orgasm out of my body. “Not yet,” he says, stroking his cock and sinking lower until he’s even with my pussy. Pressing his head against the opening of my pussy, he sops up my juices and circles his head around my clit. I think he’s going to make this as easy and rudimentary as sex can get by going missionary about it, but then he says, “Turn around.”
“Around?” I ask, nervous for what’s to come. Did he mean what he said about the ass thing?
“Yes, flip over. If you want this, you’re going to get it full hilt.”
I turn over, on pins and needles with anticipation. I realize Kase seems to want to punish me for wanting him, for pulling feelings out of him when he didn’t want to talk about it, and now’s the part where he makes me regret I ever wanted him in the first place.
But I can make this just as hard for him as he’s making it for me. After flipping over and lying perfectly flat, I tease him by reaching back and spreading my ass open. “Was this what you wanted?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ll fuck you, that’s why, and you’re not ready for that.”
“You don’t know what I’m ready for, Kase. I might be new to this, but I’m not fragile.”
I feel a slap to my ass that makes me shriek into my mattress. “You sure about that?”
Smiling into the mattress, I’m so ready to come. He could do anything to me right now, and I’d scream for him. I pull my ass cheeks apart some more and slide my finger into my pussy. “Yes, I’m sure. Fuck me, Kase. And don’t be nice about it either.”
I have no idea where this Alana is coming from. All I know is from years of watching porn, I’ve developed an affinity for things I’ve never had. The videos that always turn me on the most are the ones that teeter on the rough side.
“You’ll be sorry you said that, little virgin. Spread those lips for me.”
I spread them, feeling my own power in making him vulnerable.
“Come up on your knees,” he commands.
My pussy squeezes tight, nearly sending off waves of climax, but I hold it together. Suddenly, I feel his cock pressing right at my entrance. He pushes in slightly. I brace the pillow, pulling it in close, and closing my eyes. “Yes, push it in, please. Slowly.”
“You’re not fragile,” he says. “You don’t want it slowly. This is how you want it, hon.” And then, gripping my hips with those giant hands, he shoves his cock deep into me. I scream out loud because of the impact, but also because he’s taken it—taken my virginity by assault—and I fucking love it.
“Yeah…” I sound like a cat meowing in a dark alley.
“Yeah?” he mocks my reply. “That’s what I thought. We have a little slut here.”
“Oh, shit,” I murmur, suddenly sopping wet.
“Tell me you’re a little slut.”
Shit, this is hard. Kase is taking everything I’ve ever been taught and turning it on its side, flipping it over, and fucking it in the ass. I want to say it. I want to say how much I love his cock buried up in my pussy, but I’m scared.
“Do you like having my cock in you like this?” He leans down and presses his chest against my back, pulling back on my hair.
“God, yes.”
“Then, say it.”
“I’m a little slut. I love your cock in my pussy.”
There’s a smile in his voice. “There you go. What else do you love?”
“You holding me down.”
“Do you like that I command you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you like that I’m controlling you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to feel what fucking is like now?”
“God, yes, please, Kase. Do it already.”
“That’s what I love to hear you say, hon.” He caresses my face so sweetly, I know this is part acting, part teaching me about my desires. “Got your pillow? Now hold on tight.”
He pulls out then slams into me so hard, I see stars in the darks of my eyes. Pulling out, he slams into me again, sending quivers up my spine. One more time, and I’m done. He doesn’t even have to touch my clit. But he does—with his fingers pressed flat, he rubs circles around my clit as he slams into me one more time, and I lose it completely.
“I’m coming,” I tell him, feeling the waves explode through me, soaking his cock and making my nipples harden. Goose bumps erupt all over me. When alone, this is when it all ends, but now I have a partner. Now I have Kase, and that means it’s not over. He fucks me through my orgasm, gripping my ass cheeks, and slamming into me. With each thrust, I feel his balls slapping my cunt. I’ve never felt like such a little slut, and I’ve never loved that word as much as I love it right now.
But I’m ready for more whereas he’s almost done. I can feel his body tensing up, his breath becoming more ragged, and this is when I get to exercise control over him. The next time he pulls out, I turn around and place my head underneath his balls. Taking his hand, I guide them to my tits and take a hold of his cock in my hands, his balls in my mouth. They’re big and hang low and feel so good in my mouth.
“Say it, Alana.”
“I love this,” I say, sucking in one massive ball and then the other. “I love your balls in my mouth.” With one hand, I tease my clit back toward another climax. I could fuck this man all day. If loving sex and loving this intimacy makes me a “slut,” then I happily accept the moniker. But only in the bedroom. With my free hand, I stroke his cock faster, focusing more on the head now.
“You’re going to make me come, Alana.” His hands squeeze my tits, slap them, and push them together. He leans forward and applies pressure to my hand, urging it to make me come faster. “How do you like this now?”
I mumble something about loving it, about it fulfilling every crazy fantasy I’ve ever had about a hot man like Kase doing whatever he wants to me. And something about having this man’s balls rubbing all over my face while I stroke him, while he strokes me, brings me over the ed
ge again.
“Look at you, coming again.” I feel the air open up, as he moves away, positions himself over me, and strokes himself fast and hard. His breathing quickens, and finally, he grunts long and loud, squirting ropes of hot cum all over my chest. “I knew it.”
“Knew what?” I hold onto his thick thigh for support.
“Knew you would be amazing.” Dipping his finger into his cum artwork, he slides his fingertip around then brings it up to my lips. I suck on it and wish I could have more. “It’s what I was afraid of.”
He was afraid. The thought of this emboldens me, empowers me. So I do make him feel. So I do have some control. And when both of us have cleaned up, and he lies down in bed and swoops me into his arms, I feel a knot in my heart I hadn’t been expecting. With his warmth wrapped around me, his heart beating against my chest, and a satisfied soft breathing against my neck, I have a hard time separating love and sex in my mind. I want this man—I want him every day. I want him pushing me out of my comfort zone, showing me how amazing sex can be, and teaching me about myself in the process.
He’s let me in, if only for a little while.
Can this thing—whatever it is—between us last? I don’t think it can.
But I don’t care right now.
Here I thought he’d be gone the moment it was over, but he stays. And I sleep harder and longer than I ever have in my life. My nether regions are sore, and my pride’s a little hurt, but it was worth it. Because that was the most amazing.thing.ever. And Kase knows it, too. Because he stays all night and all morning. And when Liam wakes up after a long night’s sleep at 7 AM, Kase says, “I’ll get him,” and lets me snooze.
Kase
Mind.
Blown.
That is all.
Alana
We had to hit the wall before we could move past it.
At least that’s how it seems. Over the next few days and week, Kase and I fall into “sync.” I almost don’t want to think about for fear of jinxing it. But he goes to work in the morning, trusts me alone with Liam all the time now, and comes home in a way better mood. There are more smiles, more compliments, more “thank yous,” and every night ends in his bed or mine.
Not every sexual encounter is rough. Some are slower, more traditional, depending on his mood that day. But they all end with us falling asleep together, and I can’t remember a time in my life’s history when it wasn’t that way. Weren’t we always a couple? Didn’t we always have hot sex then collapse in a spent heap of happiness?
How did I live so long without this?
Without him?
Something else happens, too. Liam and I are like “this.” He babbles, “La, la, la, la” every time he sees me, which I’m hoping is supposed to represent “Alana,” he always wants to be wherever I am, and he cries if I leave the room. I’m his everything, even though the evenings are reserved for his father.
Watching Liam and Kase together is the most rewarding part of my day. When Kase throws himself on the floor and lifts Liam on his legs high into the air like SuperBaby, I honest to God want to bawl. He may not be perfect, he may be secretive, and I still don’t know what he’s hiding from me, but he loves his kid. I have to always remember, no matter what he’s done, he’s a good father.
But it does make me wonder. What is it?
Is he wanted for armed robbery? Did he murder his wife? Is he wanted in fifty states? My morbid curiosity leads me to online searches about Kase Hardwin. It’s odd knowing that I’m sleeping with a man I know little about. But luckily, nothing turns up other than the usual business articles featuring his company.
At times, Kase will scoop me into his arms and kiss me right in front of Liam. I know he’s just a baby and probably doesn’t understand anything that’s going on, but I also know that’s bullshit. Babies, children, pick up on things, and I’m shocked every time he leans in and kisses me sweetly right in front of his son.
What does this mean?
Are we a thing?
I don’t know what the things are anymore. His words echo in my mind all the time, though.
I’m not a good man, Alana.
I shouldn’t be with him. He’s no good for me. And yet, I can’t see how he’s bad for me either, when I’m happier every day and smiling almost all the time. Can this last? When he clearly told me that I wouldn’t get him to love me?
But isn’t that what kisses in the kitchen in front of a baby are?
If this isn’t love, that’s fine. But then, WHAT IS IT?
Sometimes, it’s as if Kase has suddenly remembered he’s not supposed to have feelings, and he’ll let me know it by being an asshole for a whole of ten minutes. It’s like Bert Roper takes over his mind (not his body, thank goodness) and suddenly, he’s ordering me around again. But rather than get offended by it, I just wait. Because it usually doesn’t last long. And before I know it, he’s staring at me again holding his son like I’m the best thing to ever enter his life.
I don’t know.
What the fuck.
Is going on.
I wish I did.
All I can say is it’s been the weirdest, most rewarding six weeks of my life. But…is this all we’ll ever be?
One night, I’m giving Liam his nightly bath, lovely lavender scents filling the bathroom, as the baby splashes in the water over and over again having just discovered his power to make water move, when Kase walks in.
“It just occurred to me…”
His deep voice resonates behind me, and I glance over my shoulder to see him standing there, pen in hand, clearly just working in his office.
“That?” I ask, pouring warm water over Liam’s head of baby hair.
“That we’ve had such a busy month, I haven’t given you any time off, Alana.”
It’s funny. I had thought about this earlier, weeks ago even, when I first started working here. I thought about it all the time—when am I ever going to get a break? But ever since that fateful night when I almost left Kase for good? I don’t think about time off anymore. I’m happy taking care of Liam, and I’m happy that Kase takes over when he gets home, and I’m happy knowing they’re both nearby and I’m not alone in this.
“Oh,” I say.
“You don’t want time off?”
“Well…” I wipe my brow and look at Liam’s chubby wet cheeks. So cute! “I, uh…I guess some time off would be nice. What do you mean? Like a few days?” Honestly, I wouldn’t want that. I wouldn’t want to be away from these two that long. What’s wrong with me?
“I meant like an afternoon, a day, or even an evening. Don’t you have friends you want to go chill with?”
“Do you want me to go, Kase? Like, do you need time away from me?” The thought just occurs to me that maybe he’s the one in need of a break, though I do my best to give him space, and I rarely ask him for any information about his past. He made that very clear from the beginning, and I’ve always tried to respect that.
“No, I mean…” He rubs his neck in that way when he’s thinking about saying something that will push him out of his comfort zone, pull him farther way from his goal of recluse except for bouts of exercising his kinky sexual habits. He’s on the brink of taking us another level.
I can feel it.
“Alana…” He sighs and leans against the door frame in defeat. Sweet defeat. His words are more beautiful than any I’ve ever heard him utter before, even the sexy ones. “Do you want to go out…with me? Tomorrow night?”
Alarms sound in my head. What does this mean? Is he breaking down some more? Am I “making him love me?” Or does he just want a mental break from it all, like most good parents, and needs a buddy to join him?
Either way…YASSS.
But I have no clothes for this. I have no dress. I need my hair done, and my nails, and my God, I haven’t gone on a date in…shit…ever! I’ve had sex so many times now, but never gone on a date. I chuckle to myself. There in the bathroom, all sweaty and exhausted and nanny-like, I smile
over my shoulder and say, “I’d love that.”
Kase
“Tomorrow night” ends up being early this morning. I spent all yesterday thinking about it and decided we could both use a day away from the city. Once the babysitter arrived, I woke Alana up to mild protest.
“I promise I’ll make it up to you. Pack a day bag. Warm weather,” I tell her and leave the room to pack my own bag.
An hour later, we’re at LaGuardia Airport, and soon after that, sitting in first class on a flight to Miami. Spring hasn’t brought much warmth to the city yet, so I thought a day in tropical heat would do us both some good.
“Wow, you don’t do anything half-ass, do you?” Alana feels the cushiony arm rests of the Boeing 757 and accepts the glass of champagne from the airline steward with a big, lofty smile.
“Especially you.” I lean into her shoulder, caressing her arm.
Goose bumps erupt all over them, as she gives me a mock-shocked look. “That’s for freaking sure. I can’t believe I’m on a plane to Florida, Kase. What are we going to do when we get there?”
“Honestly, I have no idea.”
“Oh, come on. You probably have a whole PowerPoint planned out with notes in the margins. Everything from cuisine to activities to emergency contact information.” She chuckles and sips her drink.
“I’m serious. I don’t.” I lean back in my seat and close my eyes. “Feels kind of nice, actually. Aside from our hotel, we have the whole day, tonight, and most of tomorrow.”
“Where are we staying? Not that I know anything about Miami.”
“Right on Ocean Drive. South Beach. It’s a warm eighty-five degrees and nothing but sunny skies.”
She’s so quiet, I have to look at her to make sure she’s still breathing. Her eyes are wide with disbelief. “Kase, when you asked me out on a date, I thought you meant like, the MoMA or something. A walk through Central Park.”
