With him gone, she now feared the others. Asmodeus had protected her, but she didn’t like the coldness that entered his eyes at times and didn’t believe he would protect her from the others if they turned on her. She could protect herself, but she didn’t want to hurt them, and fighting them would only give them even more reason to push her away and lash out at her.
Or worse.
They could end up doing what the five angels had wanted to do—kill her.
In her weakened state, she was no match for their combined power. She needed to feed. The sip of blood she’d had at the club in the city had been far from enough and it had been days since she’d had that scant amount. When Asmodeus had offered his arm to Nevar, demanding that he feed, she had felt a deep compelling urge to seize him and take him up on that offer. Her fangs had itched with the hunger gnawing away at her stomach, weakening her.
She wasn’t sure how Nevar had managed to refuse his master, not when she had seen in his eyes and felt in their bond that he hungered for the blood as fiercely as she did. Why did he refuse what he needed? At the bar, she had offered him blood and he had refused to feed. It had provoked a startling reaction from him, a violent response that had shocked her and had left her feeling that he craved the taste of blood yet despised what it did to him. As far as she could tell, it would only make him stronger, as it did with her, providing necessary sustenance.
Did it do something else to him?
Something to do with that deadly and beautiful side of himself that he had tried to contain when the wretched angel had threatened to take her to Heaven?
She had seen the darkness rising within him, colouring more of his skin with its inky shadows and causing his small horns to grow, jutting out of his tousled white hair. He seemed to despise it, but she couldn’t understand why. That side of himself was his strength, not his weakness.
If he had allowed the change to come over him, he would have been strong enough to battle Lysander, just as he had desired.
But he fought the change whenever it happened.
She wanted to know why, but he had left her before she could dare ask him, and now she feared he would never return.
Lysia pressed her hand to her chest, between the two triangles of grey material that formed the upper half of the top that Nevar had given her. Her skin there glowed faintly purple and then began to brighten and reveal a shape. The same mark that she knew Nevar bore on his chest. A mark he had touched more than once in her presence. A mark she had become aware of after the blond angel had announced she was the Great Destroyer, servant of Nevar. As soon as it had sunk in and she had acknowledged it was true, she had felt the tingling between her breasts and had known that she bore a mark concealed beneath her skin.
A mark that linked her to Nevar.
Their link grew stronger and she could sense his pain. Where did it stem from?
She had caught the look he had thrown at Erin before leaving. There had been so much regret in his violet eyes and guilt in the feelings she could sense in him. There had been hope too, and a deep desire for something she couldn’t decipher.
Something she didn’t want to decipher.
Her heart leaped into her throat when a shadowy figure landed hard on the sand before her in a crouch, spraying the white grains over her jeans-clad legs, his huge feathered wings spread wide and one hand pressing into the ground.
Nevar rose to his full height and furled his black wings against his back, his chest heaving with each deep breath he drew. Breaths that shifted the muscles of his stomach in an alluring symphony that she found hard to ignore.
She looked away from him and dropped her hand to her side, her heart stinging in her chest as she recalled how he had acted around Erin.
Whatever she was feeling towards him, the intense pull that she couldn’t shake or ignore and that she felt certain stemmed from more than their bond, it was one sided. He didn’t feel the same about her.
“It is not safe for you to be alone.” His deep voice curled around her, offering her comfort that she wanted to take, no matter how much it hurt her.
He had seen her alone and had returned to her.
It should have been the balm her heart needed to heal but it didn’t soothe her in the slightest. The anger she had felt at times returned, so fierce and swift that it shocked her.
“It might not be safe for you to be alone either,” she snapped and kept her cheek to him, her eyes on the fringes of the palm trees that filled the centre of the island. “And I am always alone.”
“What do you mean by that?” He moved a step closer and it was hard to stop herself from taking one backwards, keeping the distance between them steady.
What was wrong with her?
He had come back and it should have been comforting, but instead she wanted to rail at him, wanted to strike his chest and push him away. A confusing part of her whispered that she wanted to force a reaction from him. She wanted him to fight to contain her and pull her into his arms. She needed to feel them around her and have all of his focus on her, just for a heartbeat of time.
A stupid notion.
It didn’t make any sense at all. Why would she want to hit him and push him away if she wanted to be close to him?
She shrugged. “It’s how I feel. I feel I’ve always been alone and will always be alone. I remember that much. I remember that everyone was against me and none stood with me.”
She went to turn her back on him but he closed the distance between them and his heat wrapped around her, his masculine scent filling her senses and commanding all of her focus, keeping it locked on him and beckoning her closer.
“That isn’t the case anymore.” He lifted his right hand towards her. She stepped back and he sighed. “It won’t happen again. I am on your side now and I will not let anything happen to you. You are no longer alone.”
She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t face the thought of doing such a thing and then having him turn against her. She would sooner remain alone than allow him inside, where he could do more damage when he pulled away and left her.
She glanced at him, easily seeing him despite the darkness, and then looked off to her left, at the water steadily lapping at the shore, a mesmerising rhythm that she lost herself in as she fought to understand the maelstrom of feelings swirling within her.
The words flowed from her. “I will end up alone again.”
There was a growl in his deep voice when he spoke. “Why do you say such a thing when I have just sworn you will no longer be alone?”
Lysia hesitated, her heart in her mouth, feeling certain that he was going to break it. She remembered being alone. Always alone. She didn’t know how to process her feelings and couldn’t understand them because she had never experienced them before. She had never felt desire for someone. She had never needed someone as she needed him.
It was a weakness.
It made her feel vulnerable and afraid.
She was the Great Destroyer, a creature formed to extinguish all three realms, powerful and dangerous, and yet he made her feel weak and uncertain, defenceless against him and his dark allure.
If she could be the destroyer she was born to be, the ruthless and powerful woman locked within her, held back by foolish fear, perhaps he would desire her too.
She knew that he found strength and power alluring, and incredible calm in the face of great danger, and the ability to do whatever was necessary to protect others.
Lysia swallowed her heart, lifted her chin and looked him right in the eye.
“Do you desire the female?” she said without allowing the tremble in her limbs to show in her voice.
Her heart beat harder as she waited for his reply.
He frowned, confusion colouring his beautiful jade eyes. Eyes that had studied the female in question, lingering on her with a myriad of emotions showing in them.
“What female?” He moved a step closer.
She backed off another one, keeping necessary distance
between them, knowing she would crumble and give in to her need to touch him and have him holding her if he came within reach. His jaw tensed in response, the frustration he felt trickling through their link. She looked back over her shoulder towards the fire.
“That female.” Those two words came out quiet, lacking courage and strength.
He looked there and his eyes widened and darted back to her. “No.”
“No?” she said, certain she had heard him wrong or he had mistaken her target for another woman. “You do not desire Erin?”
He shook his head and looked as if he might have laughed if the weight of hurt in his eyes hadn’t been dragging him down. “Erin was my ward, when I was an angel of Heaven. I was her guardian. I was meant to protect her. I tried to do just that and events happened that drove a wedge between me and Heaven. They tampered with my memories. Apparently, it seems to be an everyday occurrence up there. The moment we deviate from their plan, they either fuck with our heads and replace our memories, or they kill us and reset us.”
Pain beat in his heart and shone in his eyes and she went to step towards him, driven to comfort him, but he spoke again and she froze down to her marrow.
“Erin is not the woman I desire.”
Her heart sank. “There is a woman you want then?”
He nodded and she couldn’t bring herself to keep looking at him.
He moved closer, demanding her attention, and her gaze swung back up to meet his. There was darkness in it, a hunger that she felt echoing within her. A hunger that had been a constant presence since she had first set eyes on him.
He stepped into her and slid his right hand along her jaw, tipping her head back, and she couldn’t breathe as she stared into his eyes, lost in them and the feel of his warm hand on her face. His gentle touch and the softness in his gaze lured her deeper under his spell and she was powerless to resist, could no longer fight her feelings for the warrior standing before her, claiming every ounce of her attention.
“I want you,” he whispered and dipped his head.
The first brush of his lips across hers sent a thunderbolt zinging straight through her, electricity that crackled along every nerve and set her on fire.
He angled his head and laid claim to her mouth with a hard demanding kiss that turned the fire into an inferno that threatened to consume her and burn her to ashes.
It was too much.
Lysia beat her wings and shot backwards, away from him. Her hand trembled against her lips, her heart beating so fast that she felt sick as she shook all over, unsure how to respond to every feeling colliding inside her.
She stared at Nevar through wide eyes.
His hand slowly fell to his side and he straightened, the darkness of passion in his eyes giving way to pain.
“I am sorry… I should not have done that.” He backed off a step and the distance yawned between them like a vast crevasse, filling her with fear as she realised she had hurt him and he was going to leave her again.
“Why?” she whispered, struggling to find her voice as her heart continued to race and her lips tingled from his kiss.
A kiss that had felt too good.
A kiss she wanted to taste again.
“Because you did not like it.” He went to look away and then clenched his jaw and stared at her instead, a hardness in his eyes that she didn’t like. It masked his pain but it couldn’t hide it from her, not when they were linked.
She hesitated before taking a step towards him, dragging her courage back up and holding on to it this time.
“I did.” She was surprised by the strength in those two words and the reaction they caused in him. The hardness in his eyes lifted, leaving soft jade behind, and his pain eased. “You surprised me. I was not prepared… but I am now… so will you do it again?”
He swallowed hard and looked as if he might refuse.
She was on the verge of kissing him instead when he spoke, the deep raspy huskiness of his voice stirring heat in her belly.
“Would you like that?” His smile was wicked, causing her heart to flutter like a timid butterfly in her chest.
How did he make her feel so weak? With just a look or a smile, or even a few words, he reduced her to a state where she felt strangely weak, a nervous little thing with no strength left in her, unsure whether she was coming or going.
He made her want to surrender to him, and she had never surrendered to any man, angel or demon in her entire existence.
She nodded to answer him, couldn’t express in words how much she wanted him to kiss her again. They all seemed so inadequate.
She braced herself when his smile widened, reaching his eyes and darkening them with the passion that had faded when she had pulled away. It came back stronger than before and it grew within her too, filling her with an all-consuming need to feel his hands on her flesh and his mouth against hers.
She needed to surrender to him.
Felt she couldn’t survive another second without knowing his touch and his kiss, without knowing what it was to be with him.
He stalked towards her across the sand, his gaze locked with intent on hers, holding her prisoner. Her heart began to accelerate again, driven by the heady and intoxicating anticipation that grew within her, filling her mind with thoughts of how it would be.
His palms claimed her cheeks and his mouth descended on hers, a hot fierce press of his lips that had her legs shaking beneath her. She couldn’t hold back the moan that shot up her throat when his tongue teased the seam of her lips, demanding entrance. She surrendered to him and gasped as he angled his head and hers, and brought them together in a harder union. His tongue grazed hers, wickedly commanding, and she clutched his arms, groaning over both the dance of their tongues and the feel of his hard muscles beneath her hands.
He dropped one hand to her waist and tugged her against him, bringing the full delicious hard length of his body into contact with hers. She heated wherever they touched, burning for more. His other hand tangled in her hair at the nape of her neck, pinning her mouth against his as he devoured her, taking her higher out of her mind.
She pressed her claws into his arms and began to kiss him back, unable to stop herself from making clumsy sweeps of her lips across his and trying to master his tongue with her own. He went to pull back and fear shot through her, making her dig her claws in deeper and keep him with her. He growled and she silenced him by stroking her tongue down one of his fangs. It ended on a deep rumbling groan that sent a bolt of heat straight to her belly.
She liked the masculine sound of his desire and satisfaction. She wanted to hear it again.
She shoved him hard and knocked him down onto his back on the sand, landing on top of him. She straddled his hips and kissed him harder, stroking his other fang, tearing another delicious moan from him. His hand on her hip roamed lower, coming to cup her backside, pulling her forwards. She settled herself on top of him, her body plastered to his, and he deepened the kiss again, mastering her once more.
She squeaked when he rolled them, pinning her wings beneath her and her back to the sand, and ending up with his hips wedged between her thighs. His weight pressed down on her, a heaviness that she liked despite the coldness of his armour against her breasts.
Lysia stroked over his shoulders, cursing the thick metal that hindered her. She wanted it gone. She ached to feel his naked flesh against hers and beneath her fingers, hungered to boldly explore it with her lips.
Nevar drew back and she seized his shoulders.
“Not going anywhere,” he murmured against her lips between kisses. “I know what you want and I need it too.”
She released him, trusting he would keep his word, and he smiled as he came into focus above her. His pale hair was bright in the darkness and his black wings rested on either side of her, cocooning her in a way that she liked, one that made her feel he intended to keep her beneath him and wouldn’t let her escape him now.
She didn’t want to escape.
She wante
d to keep plunging headlong into whatever was happening between them.
Nevar looked down, drawing her gaze down to his chest, and his armour disappeared, revealing hard cut muscles that sent a hot thrill through her and had her fingers itching to explore. Not only his breastplate and back plate vanished. His vambraces disappeared from her peripheral vision and she felt the coolness of his hip armour disappear too.
Heart lodged in her throat, she looked down between them, unsure what she would see.
A glimmer of disappointment went through her when she discovered he wasn’t naked. His black loincloth remained in place, providing a barrier between them that she wanted to strip away, together with her own clothing.
She reached up and tugged at the ties on her grey top and Nevar’s smile disappeared as he stared down at her, following her every move. His eyes darkened as she took hold of the two long lengths of material she had untied and drew them downwards. Her pulse doubled as she found the courage to keep going, shifting her hands down to her waist and pulling the triangles of cloth away from her breasts.
Nevar groaned, his hungry gaze gobbling up what she offered.
His eyes flickered between hers and her breasts, and she waited to see what he would do, silently willing him to touch her.
He scrubbed a hand over his mouth, drawing his lower lip down and revealing that his fangs were extending.
Another hot shivery ache went through her and she couldn’t stop herself from imagining him placing his mouth on her body, scraping his fangs over her sensitive flesh and teasing her with them.
He groaned, as if he had sensed her wicked thoughts and approved of them, but still didn’t move.
Lysia lifted her left hand, wrapped it around the nape of his neck and drew him down, arching her breasts up to meet him halfway.
He closed his eyes, shuttering his beautiful irises from her view, and wrapped his lips around her right nipple. She bit back the gasp that tried to escape her and sank into the sand as he sucked it into his mouth, tugging on the tight bead and sending fire sweeping over her skin. He moaned and sank against her, his warm bare flesh pressing against her stomach as he clutched her to him and suckled her nipple.
Her Avenging Angel (Her Angel Romance Series Book 7) Page 12
