Not My Mother's Footsteps

by Cherish Amore

  “Okay” Phoenix said barely audible as she tried to breath as he continued to choke her.

  “Good” he said lightly smacking her face as he released her neck with the other hand.

  Phoenix climbed out the truck with Butter in tow, she hated her life and she wished she could end it more so now than ever.

  ~

  Geno sat in his truck as he waited for Phoenix and Butter to finish turning there trick. He reached under his arm rest and pulled out a small bag filled with cocaine, which happened to be his best friend and worst enemy all in one. Using his long pinky nail Geno scooped up the substance, putting it to his nose and quickly sniffed. Sitting there for a moment Geno allowed the substance to take over his body and soon mind.

  Sitting there continuing to get high Geno drifted back to a time when his life wasn’t so bad “Eugenio?” His mother called him from the kitchen. Eugenio was his real name but everyone called him Geno.

  “Yea mom?” Geno said as he appeared in the doorway, with the house phone glued to his ear.

  “Your aunt Susan will stay here for a while, so she will need your room could you please sleep on the couch?” she asked as she washed dishes.

  Geno wanted to shout no but he could never tell his mother no, they were all each other had. Geno had already lost his older brother to the streets, and his dad was in prison serving two life sentences for murdering lots of people. “Okay” he simple said as he retreated back to his room, well her room for now.

  “Thank you Eugenio, I love you!” She shouted behind him

  “I love you too mom” he said before closing his door.

  ~

  It had been two weeks since Geno’s aunt had moved in with him and his mother, and she had already had the house turned upside down. All times of the night, there were people calling, coming by, or looking for her. It had gotten so bad that neither Geno nor his mother were able to get any sleep, not only that Geno’s mom and his Aunt Susan always would argue no matter what.

  One night Geno was walking home after he had been out with friends, and as he neared his street, he began to see police lights flashing, the closer he got he could see ambulance, fire trucks, and lots of people standing outside. He continued walking thinking it was unusual for them to be there because they lived in a pretty quiet neighborhood.

  It wasn’t until he was about three houses down when he realized they were at his house. Geno picked up his pace as his heart began to speed up, when he got closer he could see his aunt crying hysterical saying “Why did she try to fight, why didn’t she just give them what they wanted?” It became clear to Geno that she was talking about his mom; he just didn’t know the severity of it.

  “What’s going on?” He asked his aunt, but all she could do was look at him and cry harder. Turning to a cop Geno asked again “What’s going on?”

  “And who are you?” the officer asked as he continued to write on a notepad.

  “I’m Gen-” he started but realized who he was talking to. “I’m Eugenio, and I live here, is my mother okay?” he said afraid to ask.

  “Son can you come with me” the officer said, but it was pointless because it fell upon deaf’s ear because Geno took off running inside the house.

  When Geno made it inside the house, nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. All of the furniture was turned upside down, there was a trace of blood, and when he followed the blood it led him to the worst sight he would never forget. “Noooo” Geno cried as he dropped to his knees beside his mother dead body. She had a single shot to the head, and her eyes were still open as she lay there lifeless.

  The officers were trying to get Geno off the floor to ask him questions but it was pointless, because he just held his mother’s hand as tears fell from his eyes.

  Geno sniffed, and the effects of the cocaine drained down the back of his throat intensifying his high which brought him back to present day. Geno wiped the corner of his eye, because without even realizing tears were welling up. Ever since that day, Geno hasn’t seen his aunt and he never wanted to. Geno continued to get high as he waited for the ladies ‘Eugenio was killed the same night my mother was’ Geno thought as he snorted more coke.

  He always said because his mother was killed like she was nothing, he would never treat anyone with respect and so far he has lived up to that.

  Chapter 10

  Terrell pulled into Lake Ridge apartments in Hampton, VA where Renz lived, after finding a parking spot he hopped out his truck and headed up to Renz apartment. Before Terrell could reach the door, Renz swung it open with a blunt hanging out his mouth. “What’s up baby boy?” he asked as he gave Terrell a fist bump.

  “Can’t call it” Terrell said as he stepped inside.

  “I hear that” Renz said as he simultaneously answered his ringing phone and handed Terrell the blunt.

  Terrell sat down on a futon as he puffed the blunt, he began to comfortable, Renz house was like his house and vice versa. Renz place was a true bachelor’s pad. He had a huge living room, that was decorated with futons, a gaming chair, and the only decoration on the wall was a huge naked Marilyn Monroe clock. The kitchen was a nice size, but pointless because it’s never used; he didn’t even have a table. He had two bedrooms; one was his bedroom and was a little simple with a king sized bed, a dresser, a huge walk-in closet and bathroom attached.

  The second bedroom, which was the ‘put it down room’ as Renz called it, had a color scheme like the scene in belly where everything glowed in the dark. Two solid gold stripper poles were in the middle of the floor, mirrors surrounded the entire room. Lastly there was a queen sized heart shaped bed, that had hands and feet bondages connected.

  Terrell continued to smoke the blunt, as Renz continued talking to who Terrell assumed was a woman by the way Renz was talking. “So baby boy, any leads on who fucking up in the camp?” Renz asked as soon as he disconnected his ass.

  “Nah not at all” Terrell said as he handed the blunt to Renz.

  “Well baby boy, I know who it is and I don’t think you gonna like it.” Renz said as he puffed the blunt “I was adding some shit up, and checking some things out and I hate to break it to you, but” Renz took a deep breath and inhaled the smoke before continuing. “Old School got them sticky fingers” he said as he blew out the smoke and shook his head because it was hard for him to give that information.

  The look Terrell wore wasn’t anger, pissed or pain, it was simply blank and Renz couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Terrell’s jaw was tightening by the second, but even though he was beyond mad, something about the revelation of Old school stealing from him, just didn’t sit right with him. ‘Could Old School really fucking steal from me, after all the shit we have been through?’ Terrell thought as he sat there with his jaw still tightening.

  “So how we gonna handle this shit?” Renz asked as if it meant nothing, that a guy they have been friends with for years, a guy they left the game with wasn’t just revealed as the thief in the camp.

  “You sure it’s Old School?” Terrell asked in utter disbelief

  “Da hell? Hell yea I’m sure” Renz said sounding insulted. So how we gonna handle this shit?” He asked again, ignoring the confused look on Terrell’s face.

  “This shit will be handled, I just gotta figure some shit out” Terrell said still unable to process the news he just received. He sat there as he continued to smoke the blunt, he could see Renz out the corner of his eye, and for the first time in their entire friendship he hopped he was lying.

  Terrell sat there letting the smoke fill his lungs, as he thought about the first time he met Old School ‘Terrell was 15 years old and was just tried and sentenced as an adult to six years in Virginia’s penitentiary, for a felony gun charge, two drug charges, and a few misdemeanor. Terrell had actually gotten off pretty good, only have to do six because he was facing thirty, but he had an amazing lawyer who just so happen to make shit disappear.

  Terrell rode with his hands and feet shackled as a bu
s with him and other inmates headed to Nottoway Correctional Facility, as the bus came to a screeching halt, and on stepped two correctional officers (CO). “Listen up fella’s my name is officer Simms, and this is officer Butler, this is how this is going to work, we will escort you off this bus take you each to a room, strip you down to a full search, cavity and all.” Officer Simms said with a smile that was disturbing and then he continued, “once the search is complete you will be wearing a state jumpsuit, that you must wear at all times. You will also be issued a state number that is how you will be recognized, so at this point to us you no longer have a name only a number, now let’s move” he said as he stepped off the bus waiting for all the inmates to step off the bus.

  ~

  Terrell calmly walked in a single file line behind the other inmates as they were all being assigned to a cell. He had heard all the horror stories about prison plus he had seen ‘Lockdown’ one to many times to know how it goes. As he was roughly pushed inside his cell Terrell balled his fist ready for a fight, but was surprised when he saw a man whom looked to be in his early forty’s on his knees praying. “Da fuck?” Terrell said confused.

  “Either get down here with me and pray, or stand there and shut up until I’m done” the Man said firmly as he continued to pray as if Terrell was not standing there.

  “Nah, I’m good” Terrell as he stood there with his fist balled, though he was scared shitless he wasn’t about to show it; he wasn’t going to be nobodies bitch.

  “You can unball ya fist, and fix ya face lil fella, I aint the one you gots to worry about, but trust if I wanted ya little ass I could get ya, but I don’t indulge in that shit” the older gentleman said with a chuckle as he stood to his feet. Terrell looked comical to him, he was tall with no meat on his bones, and he could tell he was no older than 16 maybe 17.

  “Which bunk mines?” Terrell asked kind of dropping his attitude but not getting to comfortable, he still couldn’t be too careful.

  “Top one. By the way my names Sherman but everybody call me Old School” he said as he placed his bible under his pillow. Terrell didn’t say a word, he continued to look at Old School with a look that read ‘I aint here to make no friends, I just want to do my time and go the fuck home’.

  Terrell placed his thin blanket along with the extra jumpsuit he was given on the top bunk he then stood in the middle of the floor of the looking at the 6x8 foot. “Yea it aint much, but you gotta make due with what ya have, and let me tell ya one thing, you doing right by protecting ya self, but its best to make at least one person you can call a friend because it gets real up in here. Old school said before climbing on his bunk.

  ‘Yea one friend my ass, I aint got time for no fucking friends’ Terrell thought as he climbed on his bunk.

  ~

  Terrell had been in lockup at Nottaway prison for almost four months, he managed to stay to himself and not cross the wrong path but today that was about to change. “Yo, you got another cig” this Beanie Sigel looking dude with a strong New Jersey accent asked. Terrell looked at him and continued to puff his Newport ignoring the shit out of him. “Mother fucker I know you hear me” The Beanie Sigel look alike said as he stepped closer to Terrell.

  Puffing the cigarette one last time before throwing it to the ground Terrell said “I hear you pussy, but I aint giving you shit, you can suck my dick.” (Now anyone who knows anything about prison will tell you, if a man tells another man to suck there and nothing is done, he is considered a bitch and everyone will be on his ass.)

  “Fuck you say?” the guy asked with his mouth twisted

  Terrell stood tall in firm as he dug his hands inside his jumpsuit pocket “You heard what the fuck” Terrell started and stopped as he swiftly pulled the shank out of his pocket and slashed the guy across the face, followed by a quick right and left hook. There wasn’t much either could do because just as quick as they started they were stopped by the numerous of guards that came rushing over. Terrell was tackled to the ground by one of the guards which caused the shank (homemade knife) to fall from his hands. With quickness his roommate Old School appeared and picked up the shank and disappeared without being noticed. Terrell was clueless as to why Old School had helped him when he had been nothing but rude to him since he met him.

  ~

  After spending a month in the hole for fighting, Terrell was escorted back to his cell, it was like déjàvu because Old School was on his knees praying. Instead of Terrell saying anything to him this time, he too got on his knees and prayed with him. “Why did you help me man?” Terrell asked confused, when the prayer was over.

  Standing to his feet Old School stare at Terrell as if he was searching for the answer “You’re young and had they found that shank you wouldn’t see the light of day any longer” he stopped as if what he said hit home. Terrell was about to ask what he meant but he didn’t have to because Old School continued “my son didn’t have anybody as generous as you do on the inside, he was sentenced to two years but after the shank incident was charged with attempted murder and has to serve 32 years.” Terrell could see when Old School turned around he had tears welling in his, eyes but he couldn’t and wouldn’t dare let anyone see him cry in there.

  Terrell was a bit shocked but what he had just found out, but at the same time he had a newfound respect for Old School because he had pretty much saved his life in more ways than one.

  ‘I have to dig deeper into this shit, I just can’t see Old School doing me wrong in anyway, he’s like a pops to me’ Terrell thought as he was now back in present day.

  Chapter 11

  ‘My soul cries for help, and my eyes burn for attention’ Phoenix wrote the paper, she was writing a poem but for some reason her mind was everywhere but the poem. “Focus Phoenix focus” she said to herself as she tapped the end of her pencil on the table. She was free from Geno for a couple of days because he was out of town, and she couldn’t be more relieved. Though she had nowhere to go because her car was still broke down, she still was happy to not be around him.

  Dropping her pencil, Phoenix stood to her feet, deciding to take a break from writing her poems until her mind was more focused. After popping a bag of popcorn Phoenix put on her favorite DVD of Waiting to Exhale and got comfortable on her small couch. Halfway through the movie, Phoenix ended up dosing off.

  ‘Phoenix was 15 years old, and had been having really bad cramps the last couple of days, she was unsure of what to do. “Grandma Margret I don’t feel good” Phoenix said as she knocked on her grandma’s room door.

  “Damn it girl take something, and get the hell out my face” Margret said from the other side of the door.

  Phoenix wanted the pain to stop, but no matter what she did helped. “Grandma please” she said as the tears began to fall. She was clawing at the door trying to get her grandma to open the door.

  Phoenix began seeing lots of blood between her legs when she looked down. Right when Margaret opened the door Phoenix passed out. “Chile what the hell? Get your ass up!” Margret shouted as she shook Phoenix. When she realized Phoenix wasn’t moving, she ran and called 911.

  ~

  “How are you feeling sweetie? The blonde haired blue eyed nurse asked Phoenix when she opened her eyes.

  Phoenix adjusted her eyes, confused as to where she was “why am I here?” Phoenix asked not remembering why she was in the hospital.

  “The doctor will be in here in a moment to talk with you and your grandma” the nurse said a little uneasy. Phoenix looked around but didn’t see Margret, and she was confused. “She ran to the bathroom” the nurse said with a smile as she realized Phoenix was looking for her.

  Seconds later, Margaret walked in the room with a letter that read ‘your ass is gonna get it for having me at this fucking hospital.’ Phoenix closed her eyes tightly, she wished she could stay in the hospital; at least it was better than being at home.

  “Knock, knock” a small Asian doctor said as he entered the room.

  Phoenix ju
st smiled when he entered the room. “What’s wrong with her? Margaret asked rudely.

  “You gave us quite a scare” the doctor said clearly ignoring Margret. “I have some good news and bad news” the doctor said as he ran his hands over his head. “The reason you were bleeding as much as you were was because you suffered a miscarriage”

  “A what?” Margaret said interrupting him.

  “Ma’am I am going to ask you to please refrain from interrupting me” the doctor said firmly. Margaret didn’t say anything else, she just cut her eyes so deep at Phoenix it caused her more pain then she was already in. “Now as I was saying you suffered a miscarriage, and we determined you suffered a miscarriage because you had gonorrhea that had went untreated for some time. Because you had the gonorrhea, not only did you have a miscarriage it also did some damage to your internal organs, so we had to remove one of your fallopian tubes. Unfortunately you may not be able to have kids, but that cannot be determined at this time.” The doctor paused for a moment to let that all sink in.

  “I know that all sounds horrible, but there is some good news in it, of course you are still living. Not only that, even though your gonorrhea was not treated in a timely manner, we were able to begin treating you for the disease so because of that within seven days you will be 100% cured.” The doctor said.

  Phoenix lay there with tears falling down the side of her face, she was disappointed, hurt, pissed, and scared all wrapped in one. She was upset because she hadn’t ever willingly had sex with anyone, but here she was with a disease and just had a miscarriage. “Phoenix, are you fucking serious?” Margaret shouted, which caused Phoenix, the doctor and the nurse to jump.

  “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to leave the room for just a little while.” The doctor said firmly as he saw Phoenix getting more worked up over her grandma’s reactions.

  Margaret snatched up her things, and stormed out of the room. “Phoenix, I know this is overwhelming but I will say this, if you afraid to tell the guy you have been having sex with, I will be more than happy to sit down with him and talk to him.” The doctor turned and said once Margret was out of the room.