Not My Mother's Footsteps

by Cherish Amore

  “No it’s okay, I’ll tell him” Phoenix said through sobs. She was devastated and wanted to die. The doctor and nurse stayed around a little while longer, explaining to Phoenix how the process would go. Phoenix didn’t really care what they were saying she just wished she was dead.

  Phoenix woke up from her dream, with tears falling freely from her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to forget that day and any other day of her childhood, it seemed to haunt her more.

  Chapter 12

  Phoenix’s cell phone that Geno finally paid the bill began to ring, looking down at the screen she saw it was Mariah calling so she answered. “Hey girl what’s up?” she asked happy her friend was calling her, because since working with Geno she wasn’t able to see her friend.

  “Where have you been bitch?” Mariah screamed through the phone.

  “You don’t even want to know” Phoenix said feeling ashamed.

  “Well whatever, that doesn’t matter, what are you doing right now? We should watch movies, eat pizza, and catch up.” Mariah said without taking a breath.

  “I wish I could, but I don’t have any money girl” Phoenix said truthfully, upset with herself that she was sexing men on a regular but never actually had her own money because Geno reaped the benefits; besides her bills being paid.

  “Girl please who said anything about money, I miss my best friend and want to spend time with you so I am coming over.” Mariah said eager to see her best friend.

  “Okay, I will see you when you get her” Phoenix said before disconnecting the call.

  ~

  Phoenix and Mariah sat on the couch as the movie Identity Theft played in the background, but neither one of them were paying attention because they were chatting it up and sipping wine. “So since you no longer have a job, how are you able to pay your bills?” Mariah asked concerned.

  Phoenix had just taken a sip of her wine and she swallowed hard when Mariah asked her that. Phoenix knew that question would eventually come up, but she was hoping it would be when they both had much more alcohol in there system. “Actually right now, I am getting unemployment while looking for a job” Phoenix said stuttering

  Mariah caught the stutter and nervous look on Phoenix face, which let her know she was lying but for the moment she pretended like she didn’t notice. “What unemployment? I aint know you can get that from part time jobs” Mariah said sarcastically.

  “Anyways, I met a guy!” Phoenix shouted out, trying to steer Mariah away from asking more questions about her money making

  “You met a what? Where? Who? When?” Mariah fired off with questions, excited her friend had actually met someone. Phoenix was really picky, that’s why she hadn’t had a man in years.

  “Calm down Mariah” Phoenix laughed as she poured herself another glass of wine. “Anyways I met him when I was out here walking one day when I was waiting on Gen” Phoenix stopped when she realized what she was about to say. “I met him out here, and his name is Terrell and girl he is fine as he-”

  “Oh my God!” Mariah said cutting her off with her eyes the size of golf balls.

  “What?” Phoenix asked confused

  “Did you say Terrell? You mean Terrell from Highland Park Terrell? Like, Chavon brother Terrell?” Mariah asked overly excited.

  “Uh I guess” Phoenix said still confused.

  “Girl what you mean you guess? I guess since you from Nashville TN and all, you don’t know much about him but let me school ya ass real quick” Mariah said playfully.

  “Okay?” Phoenix said with a nervous smile on her face.

  “Now this infamous Terrell you speak of, is like 27 or 28, wait he maybe 29, anyway he is the shit of Williamsburg. Like I remember when I was younger his name rang through the streets, he was like a freaking God of the streets. He don’t play no games, girl he like a monster with kicking ass, but at the same time he gives back to the community, it’s a little scarier. He used to be real heavy in the game, but I heard he done went legit. And girl he is fine!” Mariah said as she playfully fanned herself.

  “Umm you okay girl? And he’s ight” Phoenix said lying through her teeth because she thought God himself perfected the way Terrell looked.

  “Girl ight? You are crazy he is everything and the chicks round here, will do any and everything to get a shot at him. Honey you better get him and make him ya man, cause if you don’t one of these hoes will try and snatch him up” Mariah said truthfully.

  Phoenix wore a look of defeat, even though she had met Terrell she hadn’t really met him, because he gave her his number but she never used it. “What’s that face for?” Mariah asked catching the odd look.

  “I haven’t actually talk to him since the day we met. I didn’t give him my number because my phone was off, but he did give me his, I just never called” Phoenix said truthfully.

  “What?” Mariah asked jumping off the couch. “You still got his number?” she asked throwing her hands in the air.

  “Yea I think so” Phoenix standing to her feet, heading to her room with Mariah on her heels. “Here it is” Phoenix said as she retrieved the small paper with Terrell’s number on it.

  “Well call him!” Mariah said handing Phoenix her phone.

  “I have my own phone crazy, and you know” Phoenix said pulling her phone out back pocket.

  Phoenix nervously dialed the number on the paper, and it began to ring “Yo?” Terrell’s deep voice based through the phone, which caused Phoenix to involuntarily say ‘damn’ under her breath.

  “Hey this is Phoenix; I met you out here in my neighborhood. I don’t know if you remember me” Phoenix said rambling.

  Phoenix could hear a lot of music and laughing in the background, she could also hear females calling Terrell’s name and that instantly made her mad. “Hey give me a sec imma call you right back, I can’t hear you” Terrell damn near shouted in the phone before hanging before Phoenix could say a word.

  “So much for that, oh well” Phoenix said with attitude as she balled up the paper with Terrell’s number on it, because she just knew he would call back.

  “I’m sorry girl” Mariah said a little disappointed, but she wasn’t surprised a guy like Terrell could never be interested in just one person, or even have the time, so she thought.

  Phoenix stood from the bed, when her cell phone began to ring “Oh my gosh Mariah it’s him calling back” she said happy and once again nervous.

  “Well answer it damn, with ya silly ass!” Mariah said jumping off the bed.

  Phoenix let it ring one more time, and then took a deep breath “Hello?” she sang sweetly into the receiver.

  “What’s up Ms. Phoenix?” Terrell’s voice based

  “Surprise you remember me?” Phoenix said with more of a question.

  “Who said I did?” Terrell shot back.

  “Huh?” Phoenix said embarrassed that he actually might not have remembered her, and only knew her name because she said it when she had just called.

  “I’m just fucking with you, of course I remember you. But I am just trying to figure out what took you so long to call, ya man had you hostage?” he asked playfully, and little did he know he was almost right except it was her pimp.

  “No” Phoenix shyly laughed.

  “Well that’s good to hear. But check this, I aint no phone type of dude, so I’m tryna take ya out, get to know ya feel me, so when is good for you?” Terrell asked getting to the point like he always did.

  Phoenix didn’t answer right away; instead she put her phone over the receiver and whispered to Mariah “What should I say?” Mariah didn’t have time to answer because Terrell came back “Yo you there?” “Yea umm, how about to tomorrow?” she quickly blurted out.

  “Tomorrow is good.” Terrell said. Phoenix wore a big smile on her face she was happy. They talk on the phone a little longer talking about what time they would meet and things.

  “Oh my god!” Mariah squealed when Phoenix finally disconnecting. Both girls were happy she was actually g
oing on a date with Terrell. Mariah was actually happier than Phoenix you would have thought she was the one going out with him.

  Phoenix and Mariah stayed up late talking about different things, and most of all they talked about what Phoenix would wear on her date tomorrow. Before the night was over Phoenix was reminded of one thing, she was living it up now, but Geno would be back in two days and she would be back to her regular life again, and she couldn’t help but to want to cry.

  Chapter 13

  Phoenix was nervous as hell and excited at the same time, she just couldn’t wait to see Terrell’s sexy self again and she would in less than an hour. Phoenix didn’t know where they were going, so she decided to keep her attire simple but still sexy. A pair of black stiletto ankle style jeans hugged her small frame; a leopard print strapless corset had her perfect size c breast sitting up nice and pretty. Phoenix completed her simple outfit with a pair of red open toed wedges.

  Phoenix had just finished applying the last touches to her makeup when her phone began to ring “hello?” she answered without looking at it.

  “Hey I’m turning into your neighborhood, whats your building and apartment number I’ll come upstairs” Terrell said as soon as Phoenix answered.

  “Uh, naw it’s okay I’ll come down” Phoenix said stuttering. She wouldn’t dare let him up to her place, it was bad enough she was going out with him, but at least if she got caught she could say he was her cousin, but if he was in her place cousin or not Geno would fuck her up.

  “Aight well what’s your building number so I could at least wait on front and not look all stupid” Terrell said jokingly ignoring the fact that she was clearly hiding something.

  “Umm 2401” she said grabbing her jacket and purse as she prepared to head out the door.

  ‘There’s that stutter again’ Terrell thought as he pulled up to her building. “Okay, I’m parked out front” he said.

  “Okay I’m coming down” Phoenix looked in the mirror one last time before heading out the door.

  ~

  “Oh my gosh you are so funny” Phoenix said as she tried to keep from laughing because her cheeks were already hurting for laughing and smiling the entire time.

  Terrell had brought Phoenix to a high quality seafood restaurant called Captain Georges; Phoenix loved it, she had never been to a place like that. “So Phoenix, where you from?” Terrell asked as the waitress refilled there drinks.

  “Nashville Tennessee” Phoenix said proudly

  “Damn I aint know black people really live there.” Terrell said jokingly “What brought you to Virginia?” he asked making perfect eye contact something that excited Phoenix and scared her at the same time.

  “Actually I moved here to go to school, I go to HU (Hampton University)” Phoenix said as she nervously played with her straw in her drink.

  “That’s what’s up, what’s your major?” he asked trying to really get to know more about her.

  Phoenix took a deep breath before responding, because in reality she was no longer in school and hadn’t been in almost a year, but she still told people she attended. “I’m majoring in nursing, eventually I will become a nurse practitioner. But right now I am taking a break.” Phoenix said sounding a little upset.

  Terrell just sat on the other side of the table watching Phoenix closely, he could+ tell from her body language alone that she was hiding a lot, but he just couldn’t figure out why. “That’s what’s up, I never went to college, I was locked up until I was 21, so I aint have the luxury of all that shit. But just make sure ya break aint to long, I hear it’s h1ard to come back from” Terrell said playfully but he was being serious.

  “True” was all Phoenix said before dropping her eyes, school along with a numerous of other things was a touchy situation for her.

  Terrell wasn’t one to make a person feel bad, though he had that thug mentality he still had a heart “But damn ya ass from Tennessee, and I can damn sure tell it” Terrell said doing his best impression of a country person, which caused Phoenix to laugh.

  “We not that country” Phoenix said sounding even more country then before.

  “Yea aight.” Terrell said with a light chuckle.

  “Tell me about yourself?” Phoenix said eager to know, and at the same time she wanted the focus off of her because it seemed like every time she talked about herself she always got sad because her life had always been a nightmare.

  Terrell rubbed his hands lightly across his face “Shit I’m 27, I got a twin sister that live out there where you live as a matter of fact. I aint got no kids, no girl. I mean shit, I’m really an open book, ask me and more than likely imma answer” he said matter factly. “So what you want to ask?” he asked.

  “Nothing” Phoenix said smiling shyly, she was lying through her teeth she had so much she wanted to ask, but she knew if she did he would in turn ask her questions.

  “Damn nothing, you aint feeling me?” Terrell asked dramtically as he placed his hands over his hear as if he was hurt.

  “It’s not that” Phoenix said embarrassed, Terrell was so outspoken and it excited her.

  “That’s what’s up” he said. Terrell really wanted to know more about Phoenix, but something about her pretty face was telling him she had a dark past and didn’t want to reveal.

  The rest of dinner, they talked, laughed, and really got to know each other, well Phoenix got to know Terrell because he still aint no shit about her, except she was 22 from TN and went to HU. After Terrell dropped her off, they agreed to go out more, and next time it would be something less formal.

  Chapter 14

  Phoenix lay peacefully in her queen sized bed, with the cover wrapped tightly around her; it had been out of habit for her to sleep that way since when she was younger her uncle normally violated her. Geno stood in the doorway of the room furious, he had called Phoenix multiple times yesterday and she didn’t answer any of his calls, and it was time he taught her ass a lesson.

  Geno stepped closer to Phoenix bed, and watched as her chest rose and fell under the comforter for some reason that angered him more that she was sleeping peaceful. Roughly pulling the covers off her, Geno watched Phoenix body tensed up in fear. She lay there shaking in her boy shorts and tank top with no bra; seeing her like that caused his dick to get hard. “What’s, what’s wrong with you?” Phoenix asked with a shaky voice as she sat up in the bed.

  “I called ya motherfucking ass 100 times (he exaggerated) yesterday and you aint pick up not once, so what the fuck was you doing?’ he asked as he struck her with his right hand instantly causing blood to spew from her nose. Geno didn’t give Phoenix time to answer before he snatched her phone from the nightstand and began going through it. Phoenix sat there with her feet to her chest as she sobbed holding her nose ‘please God let me have erased everything’ she thought as she watched him search her phone.

  Geno was getting even more pissed as he searched Phoenix’s phone because he couldn’t find a single thing. ‘Either she’s good or her ass didn’t do shit the entire weekend I was gone’ he thought as he looked up at her from her phone. Even though Geno didn’t find a thing, he was high and pissed for no reason at all so Phoenix was about to feel his wrath. “I don’t like to be fucked with” He said through gritted teeth as he roughly threw her phone against the bedroom walk causing it to break.

  “I didn’t do anything” Phoenix cried, knowing it things were about to go from bad to worst.

  “Shut the fuck up!” Geno yelled as he scooped Phoenix up with one swift motion by her neck. Phoenix didn’t try to fight, claw at his hands, cry or anything, she just stare at him, it was as if she wanted Geno to kill her. Geno didn’t want to kill her, he just wanted to scare her. It was something about Phoenix he really liked because had it been one of his hoes he would have did more damage; he didn’t see Phoenix a hoe because she didn’t choose this life, this life chose her.

  Throwing her roughly on the bed, Geno watched as her small frame bounced a little; his dick got har
d, there was only one thing to do. “Since you want to play fucking games its time you pay for this shit. Ya ass gots to learn I’m the king all up in through this bitch, I own your ass.” Geno said as he unbuckled his pants and pulled out his dick.

  Phoenix had been raped one too many times to know what was about to happen, she didn’t try to fight. Geno entered Phoenix and though he was taking it from her, he didn’t know what Heaven felt like but he swore Phoenix was it. Phoenix lay still as she was being violated; she never cared what happen to her anymore because no one else cared so why should she.

  Geno’s body jerked slightly as he emptied his seeds deep into Phoenix, after savory in the moment a few seconds longer, Geno removed his limp dick from inside her. “Get your dumb ass up and clean yourself up, I’ll be back in an hour and your ass better be together” Geno said pulling his pants up. Believe it or not he felt bad for the way he did Phoenix but he couldn’t let her know that, he needed the upper hand at all times.

  ~

  Phoenix stood under the extremely hot water as it cascaded down her body. ‘God I have asked you my entire life to protect me from all these evil people I encounter, but it seems like the more I ask, the more bad things happen’ Phoenix thought as she turned the water to the hottest temperature. The water was slightly burning her skin, but Phoenix was so hurt in other ways that she didn’t even feel the pain from the water.

  Reaching for her body wash and washcloth Phoenix began to lather up, and then scrubbed her skin so hard as if she was trying to remove the skin. Phoenix was trying to erase all the years of damage that had been done to her, but it was no use because no matter how hard she scrubbed the stench of all the guys were on her skin. Finally rinsing her body Phoenix stepped out of the shower and wrapped her towel tightly around her body. She stare at herself in the mirror, she hated what she saw, though she was pretty all she saw was a ugly sex slave that no man knew how to treat.