by Bellus, HJ
It takes less than forty minutes to take roll, make sure each student uses the restroom, assign buddies for the field trip, and load the big yellow bus. The station is on the other side of town, so not a long ride, but way too far to trot little first graders over to it.
My nerves are at an all-time high with thoughts of seeing Oren. I haven’t talked to him, well, since sinking my phone down yonder. This is the second phone in less than two weeks. I’m screwed and the even bigger question is what am I going to tell him happened? What if he thinks I’m mad at him? Or what if he can read minds and will be able to see the whole terrible scene playing out with me holding a big purple dick to my ear while trying to get off on my cellphone.
“Oish.” I place the palm of my hand on my forehead.
“Forget something?” Kane asks, looking up at me.
“No.” I try to search for an excuse, but give up. “Never mind.”
It just so happens that Kane was magically partnered with me. I don’t need him explaining his family's history at the station or karate chopping Nathaniel in the nuts while listening to a lecture. He keeps me on my damn toes that’s for sure and has pushed every single button of mine, but there’s something about him I adore. Steered in the right direction, the little sandy haired, toothy grinning critter will go far in life one day and I won’t lie, that’s a big if, but I love him.
I ruffle his out of control hair and tell him what I try to tell him everyday he enters my class. “You’re a smart boy, Kane, and will go far.”
I stand up and face the back of the bus. The station is only blocks away and my little gems can use all the reminding they can get.
“One, two, three, eyes on me.” I clap five times and wait for their undivided attention. Oh, little first graders are such fined trained things in May. It makes my heart all gushy inside.
“Reminder, friends, we are going to be on our best behavior. Let me remind you what we brainstormed in class yesterday. We listen, raise our hands to talk, and keep our hands to ourselves.” I grab the back of my seat as Jan the man, the bus driver, just flew over a speed bump at Mach speed.
“You almost ate shit,” Kane says and then giggles.
I flash him a death glare and remind him. “Language, Kane.”
While the whole time thinking, you little asshole.
“You’ll earn tickets on this field trip for good behavior and also asking appropriate questions. Remember only ask questions, don’t tell stories.”
Jan aka bitchy bus driver slams on the breaks, throwing me forward into the back of the seat. One boob hikes up over the seat while the other is basically decapitated into the back of the seat. And Johnny and Mikey just smile at my one boob peeking up and out of my shirt.
“Remain seated until I stop,” Jan growls.
I stand up, tamping down my anger and turn to her. “Ironic, you’re stopped and I’m not standing.”
My middle finger itches to send her the bird, but I just smile and cuss her out in my head because let’s face it, she’d pound my face in in a fist fight. Lovely way to start off the field trip.
The students file off the bus successfully with no other incidents and we march right in to the front of the station and wait for the captain to join us. The station is buzzing with bodies moving about everywhere doing their jobs. I scan the room, looking for him. I want to tell him I broke my phone again or I guess at the very least, leave a note for him.
“Hi, I’m Captain Sorenson and you must be Miss Olander.”
“Yes, I am.” I extend my hand to shake his.
“Officer O’Brien had nothing but glowing remarks about you and your class.”
I’m hoping he’ll make me glow one day.
“He was great and the students loved him. They’re very excited about this field trip today.”
“Okay, we’d like to split them into three groups and rotate in stations so they get a more hands on experience.”
“Perfect, I’ll assign mothers with each group and then roam between.”
It takes me no time to strategically organize the groups and send them on their way. I follow close behind Kane’s group, but allow him some space as well. He’s clearly intrigued by the tour of the office for now. Hopefully the field trip will hold his attention long enough before he resorts to any form of nut karate kicking.
“So, is this the bush beating bandit you apprehended the other night?”
I spin around on my heels when I hear his deep chuckle. Officer Sexy is leaned against a desk with feet crossed at the ankles and his arm over his chest. Another officer is perched in a chair behind the desk. He’s opposite of Oren in an older, pudgy way.
I curl my lips in, trying to hide the smile wanting to dance across my face. Just seeing him makes me light up inside and outside. The man has my number.
“Olivia,” he draws out in his deep voice.
“Officer.” I nod back.
The man behind his desk stands up and tips his hat at me. “She’s as beautiful as you described, Oren.”
And then he limps off out of sight.
“That’s Chuck.”
My face is heated crimson red from embarrassment, allowing me only to nod.
“Sorry, he’s my only bud since moving here.”
“It’s fine,” I finally squeak out.
“You haven’t texted me and your phone goes straight to voicemail.”
“About that.” I raise my finger and blush an even deeper red. “I uh- It fell in the tub.”
Oren pushes up from the desk, closing the space between us. “You were talking to me while in the tub.”
I nod when I realize the rest of my body is paralyzed from his nearness and musky smell.
“Naked in the tub and talking to me.” One of his dark eyebrows shoots up.
I can literally feel my V card burst inside me. I may have just had my first O the way my insides tingle and whirl around.
“I’m excited for our dinner.” God, I sound like a fucking idiot.
“And again, Olivia, this is why I can’t be around you when I’m on duty.” He points down between us to his tented pants.
I gasp and then slap my palm over my mouth and then look into his eyes. Could I seriously be anymore of a ten year-old little girl right now?
“I have a tour of my cop car to give, Olivia.”
“Then I have a tour to attend.” I wink at him.
“God, I wish it was Friday, Sexy Teacher.”
And I keep my eyes glued to his taut ass in his slacks as he saunters away from me.
“Headlights, Miss Olander.” I pry my gaze away from the sexiest ass on the planet to see Kane with both of his pointer fingers sprung out from his chest and his little eyebrows waggling at high speed.
And as sure as shit, high beams are on full force. I need to get control of those damn things when around Oren.
“Oh Kane.” I ruffle his hair and follow his small group around to the different stations. All the questions the students ask make me proud and it’s one of the rare and genuine moments in teaching where I’m proud beyond words.
The little group I tag along with, which includes Kane, stops outside for their last station. Stepping out into the glaring sunlight, I pull down my Ray Bans and smile when I spot Oren.
I feel a little hand in mine and when I look down, it’s Kane staring up at me, doing his best to shade his eyes with his hand. “Do you like him?”
“Uh?” I heard the question clear as day, but I think it’s the shock coursing through my body that makes me speechless.
“Do you like Officer Lady Boner?”
“Kane.” I squeal a bit too loud and cover my mouth.
“I heard Ms. Johnson call him that one day when I came back in for my homework.”
“It’s Officer O’Brien and he’s a nice man.”
“You want to make babies with him, uh?”
“Kane, where do you get this stuff from?”
“My sister in high school. She says that every
time Channing Tatum comes on TV and then her friend tells her to quit dry humping her pillow.”
“You need to not listen to your sister, but can I tell you a secret?”
Kane perches up on his toes and I lean over to whisper in his ear. “I do think he’s kind of cute.”
“Well, if you two decide to make babies together and he’s mean to ya, I’ll karate him in the nuts.”
I clutch his little hand in mine and just shake my head while we make our way closer to the group gathering around the cop car. “Kane, do you know what it means when your sister says that?”
“Oh yeah.”
I cringe and send up a Hail Mary. “What does it mean?”
“When you make your dog play Barbies.”
I wait for his punch line or devilish grin, but he goes into a long-winded story about one time of a making baby session that involved a chichiwawa and a few Barbies. Sometimes I wonder what some of the moms smoked while preggo and definitely think his older sister needs a stern lesson in using the earmuffs tactic when around Kane.
“Okay, shhh, buddy, let’s listen.” I pat Kane’s shoulders and square him up to Oren who's ready to begin.
Just like in the classroom, Oren entertains the kids, explaining and showing them the different parts to his car. And of course, even the curious boys start asking about pepper spray, guns, and if he’s ever had to take someone down. Oren stuns me with how gracefully and comfortable he is with little kids. Most men his age tend to stove up and brush them off.
“Any other questions?” Oren asks, surveying our little crowd for a moment.
Kane turns around to me and whispers, “Want me to see if he has a chichiwawa?”
The giggle escapes before I can stifle it. “No, Kane. It’s fine.”
Amy in the front shoots her hand up and Oren calls on her, letting the class know it’s the final question before it’s time to head to the bus.
“Can you handcuff our teacher?”
It’s the first time I see Oren flush with embarrassment and possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever witnessed.
“You’d like what?” He clears his throat.
“Can you put handcuffs on Miss Olander?”
He takes a moment to glance up at me before shaking his head from side to side. “Why would you want to see your teacher in cuffs?”
She only shrugs while the rest of the class starts chanting cuff her, cuff her. It takes Oren a moment to get his bearings before he holds up his hand to silence the class and then curls his pointer finger at me.
“Miss Olander, the students would like to see you in cuffs.”
“Go.” A choir of little voices shout and begin to tug me by my wrists.
I finally make my way through the group up to him and whisper in his ear while the students continue to cheer, “About time you cuff me.”
“Olivia.” He curls in his lips, stopping his words for a second. “You are going to be the damn death of me.”
And I swear to the virginity gods all over the world that in this moment I have every ounce of courage to reach up on my tiptoes and kiss his plump sexy-ass lips, but then I’m reminded of where I am.
Oren spins me around so fast I can’t even begin to comprehend what’s going on. Dirty thoughts race in my mind, but I know none of that’s about to go down.
“You always need to be swift, smart, and accurate in your decisions when apprehending someone.” Oren tilts his face down towards the crook of my exposed neck, letting out a puff of air that tickles my tender skin.
“Friends, you’re so silly for wanting to see me in cuffs,” I say with a huge smile back to my students, trying to distract myself from the rock hard body pressed up to the back of mine.
Oren continues on. “Sometimes you just know deep down in your gut that you have the bad guy captured, but other times it takes more investigating and paperwork.”
Click. Click. Click. The cold metal snaps around my wrists. Oren intertwines his fingers in mine, gently squeezing as he keeps on with his speech. I don’t miss one of his hidden messages.
“There’s times when you come across a person who fits the description perfectly and you have the worst time shaking it until you finally give in.”
Amy shoots her hand up. “How does that have to do with anything?”
I whirl around, showing the students the cuffs and let them have fun squealing and clapping before Oren undoes the cuffs. I turn to him before ushering the students to the bus. Glancing down quickly, I spy his tented pants once again and can’t help internally fist pump the air.
“Thanks, Oren.”
“See you tomorrow, Olivia.”
“You mean Miss Olander.” We both look over to see Kane with a beaming smile.
“You’re correct, sir. See you tomorrow, Miss Olander.”
This time it’s Kane who clutches to my hand. “You better pray that man has a chichiwawa, Miss Olander.”
Untitled
Chapter9
The Humping Dog Syndrome
“Fuck, shit, bitch.” I sling the foundation bottle across the bathroom.
“Calm yo’ titties before you stroke the fuck out, O.” Scout picks up the bottle. “I’ve brought all my stuff.”
“Perfect because my olive colored skin will look perfect in fucking albino foundation.”
“Saying fuck every other word is not going to help your case in getting sausage in your wound-up taco tonight.”
“Scout.” I glare at her.
“Sit.” She pushes me down on my vanity stool. “You left a bottle at my house awhile back and I have it.”
“Why am I so nervous? I don’t date anymore; it's just dinner.”
“It’s a date and the first one you’ve ever been super excited about. I’ll get you one glass of wine in a second. ONE glass, O.”
“Yeah, I know. I came in like a seasoned veteran last time with the wine.”
“I love you.” Scout kisses my cheek before bouncing out of the bathroom.
I hear the racket of glasses and the fridge door slamming shut. I catch my reflection in the mirror and study it. Why in the hell would a man like Oren be attracted to me? Almond shaped eyes, rich olive toned skin, a boring face with proportional features, straight long black hair, and that lingering question of what ethnic groups came together to make a freak like me.
“Knock it off.” Scout hands me the glass of wine. “I’ll never understand why you can’t see your beauty, O. Shit, more men wanted you in college.”
“Whatever.” I down half the glass.
“It’s just my size D tits they’re attracted to. They all eyed you for your looks, genuine personality and real size C girls.”
“I don’t know what it is.” I shrug.
Scout busies herself applying my make-up and chattering away. “It’s hard for you not having your mom growing up. Don’t you remember us always in awe of her beauty and your dad smitten with her?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “She was the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.”
Wine splatters on my forehead and the bridge of my nose as Scout’s hand connects to the side of my face in a punishing slap.
“Then why can’t you ever see yourself as her? Jesus, do you think you have your dad’s nose that’s the size of Texas and that wart on his jawline or his wiry gray hair?”
“Be nice,” I say as I wipe off the speckles of wine.
“I am, but I refuse to let you beat yourself down and not love yourself, O. You’re gorgeous. Oren sees that, so go have fun tonight.”
“Okay, okay, Mom.”
“Let him kiss you, finger you…”
“Shut the hell up, bitch.”
Scout kneels down in front of me, wiping the rest of the wine from my face and fixing my makeup. “Seriously, and I know we aren’t serious very often, but Olivia, I worry about you. You’re too hard on yourself. You’re a gorgeous, strong, stubborn, and very amazing person. You deserve a better half, so quit degrading yourself.”
“Thank
s, Scout.”
She reaches up, seizing my nipple between her finger and thumb and gives it one hell of a twist. “Now, let’s get you dressed up like a first rate hooker.”
She bounds off into the other room before I can talk and I’m left staring into the mirror. For the first time, I see hints of my mom in my features. I’ll never be as beautiful as her and never was meant to be. I’m the perfect combination of her and my father. I’ll never admit it to Scout, but she’s right.
I walk into my bedroom. “He told me to wear my tight khakis.”
“Perfect! Pair it with this tight titty hugging peach lacy blouse and these heels.”
“Heels? Um no, we are going to dinner, not the damn opera.”
“You’ll wear them and wow him.”
“It’s too much, Scout. I’ll look desperate.”
“What’s the problem with that?” She rearranges her messy bun on the top of her head. “I’m pretty sure dragging your whole class down to the station screamed desperate.”
“I guess you’re right. I am desperate.”
“Desperate to get Officer Sexy’s ding dong in your pie hole.”
“Oh my God, I can’t even, Scout. What if he kisses me and I screw it up?”
“Oh honey, you will.” She steps up to me, picking at the top I just threw on. “But it will be good memories to look back and laugh at just like your attempt at death by cellphone in kitty.”
I flush with embarrassment just thinking about that. My new phone is on the way from the company and I received a very passive aggressive email about reaching my limit on my cellphone insurance.
“You’ll never let me live that one down, will you, Scout?”
“Not looking good at all.” She bounds out of the room leaving her voice streaming through the hall. “I have an idea.”
“Shit.” I cringe. “I’m done with your ideas, biotch.”
I scoop up Pedro, who’s curled in all the clothes thrown on my bed. “Your auntie is cray-cray and I swear, on a mission to kill me.”
