****
Jagger
I was going to leave like Londynn had asked until I heard her father telling her she would marry Ryce. Either her father didn’t know what kind of man Ryce really was or he just didn’t care about his daughter’s wellbeing. Because any father who knew a man had hit his daughter would not want her to marry him. I step up beside Londynn and I see her look at me out of the corner of her eyes.
“I’m not marrying Ryce. I don’t know what to tell you and mom but that’s not happening. I’m moving in with Farrah and I’m going to live by my rules from now on,” she says before turning to leave, she grabs my shirt as she does, but her father grabs her arm and spins her around to face him.
I know the moment he notices her face because he freezes then slowly releases his grasp on her. “What happened to your face?”
“You know I’d tell you, but you wouldn’t believe me anyways so what’s the point?” I see her glaring at him.
He turns on me before either of us have time to move. “You!” He yells pointing at me. “You did this to her!”
“No sir. I didn’t. I would never do this to anyone.”
Her father comes at me but Londynn jumps in front of him then she pushes him back. “He didn’t’ do this to me!” she yells back while motioning towards me. “Ryce did this to me on the side of a road after the charity ball! Ace James, Jagger’s brother found me, and they helped clean me up and what not.” Her dad’s face falls and Londynn steps towards him “You want me to be with him so badly that you are blind to who he really is. He cheats and lies. He has anger issues…” she says motioning towards her face “Obviously, but you and mom still insist on me being with him. He doesn’t love me, and I want that in life.”
She turns and leaves out the door. I go to follow her but then turn back to him. “Londynn is amazing and she deserves to be loved and taken care of. I may not be able to give her a house like this or an overly priced car, but I can love her. I can protect her, and I can give her what she deserves in life. I’ll give her everything I possibly can," I tell him then turn to follow the girl that I just realized that I’m falling in love with.
Chapter 19
Jagger
After collecting Londynn’s belongings I dropped them off at the house while she went to get a cell phone. I watched as she drove off in her little red Audi. On my way back to work I couldn’t help but keep thinking about what I said to her father. Then the realization that I was falling in love with her hit me all over again. I hadn’t been in love in so long I didn’t know how to be sure that I was this time. Was I just fascinated by her?
I don’t know how long I had been under the car when Axell came and told me it was time to close up shop. I slid out from under the car and washed up. On the way home, I kept trying to figure out my feeling for her, but I wasn’t getting anywhere. When I pulled into the driveway I noticed Londynn’s car parked on the side of the street. When I opened the door the smell of food hit me, and I remembered I had worked through lunch. Jovi was sitting at the coffee table working on homework which seemed odd because usually we had to fight with him to do his homework. He went to a private academy on a scholarship because he was so smart, but he just didn’t care about it. “You’re doing your homework already?” I asked stunned.
“Yeah! Londynn helped me and she has an idea for me to get Monrowe’s attention, but she said I had to finish the homework before she’d take me to the store.”
I hear her laugh and turn towards the kitchen doorway. I’m knocked speechless. She is standing there with her hair piled on top of her head in a pair of shorts and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. “He even helped me cook.”
“Londynn! Come on I have a reputation to keep.”
I laugh this time. “Is that so?” Jovi just shrugs and goes back to working. I cross the room and pull Londynn towards me. “Something smells amazing," I say breathing her in.
“Oh! I’m making lasagna," she says clueless.
I chuckle “Yeah that smells good to, but I was actually referring to you,” I tell her while she looks up at me I can see the blush creeping up her neck and filling her cheeks. She tip-toes and kiss me quickly on the lips.
“You need to go shower and then dinner should be ready.” She looks back at me over her shoulder and winks. Yeah, I’m screwed. This girl is going to own me, all of me. All day I had dwelled over the fact if I was in love with her or if I could even be but here was my answer. I was and I could. I hated the idea of not seeing her. I hated the idea of her with another guy. I just wanted to be enough to keep her, that was my biggest fear.
After dinner Londynn and Jovi left to go to the store to work on Operation Monrowe according Jovi. I had to laugh. Sadie came out on the back porch and sat beside me. “It’s good to see you like this," she tells me.
“Like what?” I ask.
She smiles when she turns to look at me “Happy.”
I smirk “I’ve been happy.
Sadie is shaking her head “No, not like this. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that look in your eyes.”
“What look?”
She laughs “Oh Jagger, don’t forget how well I know you.”
We sit in silence for a while, just watching the sun dip lower into the sky until it disappears completely. Something about it disappearing reminds me of Harlyn and before I know it I turn to Sadie. “Is it wrong?”
She looks at me confused, “Is what wrong?”
I run a hand through my hair then down my face while releasing a heavy sigh. I haven’t openly talked about this…with anyone…ever. “To feel this way. I mean why should I get to feel this way when Harlyn is…dead?”
Sadie reaches for my hand “Oh Jagger. It’s fine to feel this way. You’re allowed to move on. You’re allowed to be happy. You’re allowed to live. Besides, that was five years ago, and a lot can happen five years ago.” I give her a questioning look. “You two were so young when you met, and you guys were thrown a curve ball when y’all got pregnant. I mean it was a blessing, but it wasn’t expected. Who knows where you two would be today if the accident hadn’t happened.”
I think about it for a minute, but it sounds like Sadie is saying that what Harlyn and I had wasn’t real and a part of me feels really angry about that. “Are you saying we were too young for it to be real?”
“Oh goodness! No! I’m just saying that a lot can change in a year let alone five years. Hell, Axell and I aren’t even the same couple we were five years ago. We have went through so much, stuff that none of you know about. As individuals we are constantly growing, constantly changing. But sometimes while we grow as individuals we don’t grow as a couple. As a couple we grow apart, I’m not saying that would have happened, I’m just saying it’s possible. You act as if you aren’t allowed to have a life Jagger and it’s just not true. It’s not bad, it’s not hurting her memory to live your life. I’m pretty sure that she would have wanted it.”
“You know for the past five years the memories have been so clear, so vivid that it feels just like yesterday. At least until I met Londynn, when I’m with her I feel a sort of freedom that I haven’t felt in so long. I mean I don’t forget Harlyn or Harper but it’s like I can take a deep breath," I tell Sadie and realize I probably sound like a crazy person.
She gives me a smile. “You have loved and lost so much. Much more than most people your age. It has made you wise beyond your years. I think losing your mom hit you and Ace the hardest. I mean Axell and Bowie were both older and kind of have had their time with her. I’m sure no amount of time was enough, but they had more time with her than the two of you. And Jovi well he was still a baby in so many ways. You and Ace though, you were bot still at that age where you could use her wisdom. Then you found Harlyn and it’s like it eased your pain, but I think the loss of both have created this heaviness in your heart and soul that is unnecessary. I hope someday you can let go," she sighs, “Now if I could only get Ace to listen to me.”
As her words sink in
I can’t help but think that maybe she is right. I mean Ace and I were still really close to our mom when she passed away. I met Harlyn shortly after that and maybe I used her and our relationship as a distraction from the real pain I was feeling. Then when I lost Harlyn I had run because I was so full of grief that it felt like the only way to breathe. It was like that part of me was healing when I was Londynn.
Sadie was right about Ace though, he had always been the closest to our mom. I remember when she first started chemo and she got too weak to get out of bed. Ace would run from the bus stop to our house, pour a glass of lemonade because it was her favorite then grab one of her favorite books and climb into bed and read to her. He’d be in there reading to her for hours. Dad would finally get home from work and make Ace leave the room and go do his homework. He did this same thing every day until one day we had come home from school and when he ran into the bedroom, the bed was empty. Mom had passed away, but dad hadn’t had time to notify us before we got home from school. Instead of our mom we had found dad sitting on the bed crying like a baby. Ace had never been the same after that day and it made me wonder if that was why he kept Kynlee at an arm’s length.
I heard the car doors shut and Sadie excused herself right before Jovi came barreling through the back door to show me his new haircut, outfit and the Operation Monrowe. When he went inside Londynn stepped outside onto the small porch. “Hey there pretty girl.”
She smiles at me and my heart rate picks up. “Hey there handsome.”
I reach for her hand “Oh I like the sound of that.” I pull her into my lap and kiss her lips lightly, careful not to hurt the portion that’s still healing. “How did Jovi afford all that stuff for Operation Monrowe?”
“You mean the butterscotch candy?” she asks.
“No, I mean all of it. The clothes, the hair and that little set up to impress her.”
She shrugs “I paid for it. It’s not a big deal.”
“But it is. I don’t want you here for your money and I don’t want you to feel like that. I want you here because I don’t want you anywhere else," I tell her while making to stare into those hazel eyes, the ones I could get lost in forever.
“Jagger Ray James you are so much more than I ever could have hoped for," she says, placing a kiss on my forehead. “I wouldn’t want to be any other place either, but Farrah called while we were shopping, she’ll be back tomorrow.”
I tighten my arms around her “So you’re leaving me?”
“Well, we are going to get a two-bedroom place together but I’m not actually leaving you," she says laughing.
“Fair enough. So, what exactly Operation Monrowe?”
“Well, you know Jovi has a major crush on her, so I asked him if he knew something she liked, and he said she loved butterscotch candy. So, we bought those and were going to place a candy with a not in her locker. The note will have one thing he likes about her. Then when he’s ready he can tell her he’s the secret admirer and she’ll be super impressed.” She says with a dreamy look in her eyes.
I chuckle “You sure about that?”
“Yes! I would have loved something like that when I was their age.”
I notice her shiver as the breeze picks up. “Come on let’s go inside.” I take her hand and lead her inside.
****
Londynn
It’s late but I can feel the restlessness coming off Jagger in waves. I’ve been trying to sleep but it’s hard when I know he can’t. I feel like maybe it’s something I’ve done so I give up and roll over to face him. “Jagger?” It’s dark in the room but there is a little moonlight breaking through the blinds. I feel Jagger switch from his back to his side. “What’s wrong?”
“What makes you think something’s wrong?” he asks.
A small breathy laugh escapes before I can stop it. “Oh, I don’t know maybe because I can sense how restless you are. You know you can talk to me, right?”
“Yeah, I know that. There’s just a few things bothering me.”
“Then talk to me Jagger.” I encourage him while silently hoping he’ll open up to me. We both seem to have this bad habit of keeping things bottled up inside. I want that to become an old habit. I want us to be open with one another, I want us to know we can rely on one another.
He sighs “Well, for starters I would feel better if you’d let me pay you back for the money you spent on Jovi.”
I shake my head because the idea seems silly to me. I have more money in my trust fund then every single person currently in this house. I spent very little on Jovi in comparison. I don’t really know what the big deal is. “Why?”
“Because your whole life is changing right now. The last thing you need to worry about is spending money on my little brother and his crush," he says, and I can see him shaking his head in the shadows of the room.
I prop myself up on my elbows “Jagger I did in the name of love,” I tell him with a laugh. “Besides money has never really been an issue for me, you know that.”
He sighs, and he brings a hand up to cup my non-damaged cheek. “I know it hasn’t in the past but who knows now since you’ve moved out of your parents’ house.”
“You know, you never asked me what I did today while you were at work," I tell him knowing that in some ways it will create a curiosity in him.
“What did you do today?” He asks, and I can hear the curiosity in his voice already.
I laugh again because his voice sounds so young and innocent when it’s full of curiosity. “I called Farrah and asked her what I should do next? She told me to move my trust fund to a different account or bank that only I’d have access to. So, I did. I still have my money now it’s just deciding what to do with my life since I won’t become a professional ballerina any time soon. So, is that what’s been bothering you?”
I feel him shrug then sigh. “That’s some of it.”
“What else?”
“I don’t know I guess I’m just stressed about finding my own place and everything," he tells me but I’m not sure I really believe him. There seems to be something more bothering him. It seems like something much more emotional and darker than just stressing over finding a place of his own. I want to push it, but I guess for the time being I just have to hope he’ll open up later. We still have a lot to learn about each other and I guess the trust will grow as time goes on. I hope sometime soon he feels comfortable enough to tell me things but for now I’ll let it go.
“You know you don’t have to get a place of your own, right?” I ask him because I don’t want him to feel like he has to do something to impress me.
“I know but I want to. I miss having my privacy and I’m sure at some point were going to want some privacy,” he says with a laugh.
I give him the most questioning look I can manage even though I know what he’s referring to and it immediately sent my body into a wave a heat. Finally, I ask “Privacy? For what?” but before I know it he’s flipped over to my back and is on top of me.
I let out a startled squeal from the sudden change. I’m laughing while he starts to trail kisses up and down my neck. “See that squealing is why we need privacy.”
He kisses me lightly on the lips, but I bury my hands in his hair and deepen the kiss. I pull back “The squeal was from the surprise attack, but I can be quiet," I tell him a little breathless.
“Oh, can you?” he says in a teasing tone before bringing his lips back to mine. I’m lost in his kiss before I can reply. The butterflies in my stomach are going crazy and I feel light headed. I can feel his kiss in every part of my body. I could stay here like this all night.
He moves his lips down my neck and across my collarbone, the heat from his breath setting my already heated skin on fire. His feather soft kisses leave a trial of goosebumps across my skin and a desire growing in the pit of my stomach. He moves up to my ear lobe and pulls it lightly between his teeth causing me to arch my back so that I’m pressing against his bare chest. “Good girl. You can be quiet," Jagger w
hispers in my ear, his voice is raspy like he’s fighting for control of his body just as much as I am. His lips trail back down my neck to my chest. His amber colored eyes lock with mine right before he pulls my nipple into between his teeth. It sends a jolt of heat right to the core of my body. The thin material of my sleep shirt does nothing to protect me.
While he continues to tease my nipples with his mouth and hand, he moves his free hand from my calf to my thigh. His pace in agonizingly slow. I want to scream at him. I want to beg him, but I know I can’t. I promised I could be quiet, but this is the sweetest form of torture. Jagger moves his mouth back to mine while lightly caressing my neck with one hand. His touch makes me crave more, so much more. A hand moves between my bare skin and my tank top. As he runs his hand up my stomach, leaving a trail of heat I release a moan of plea. I’m begging for him, but he simply smiles in between kisses.
His hand reaches my breast before I even have time to think a single thought. His fingers tease my nipple causing me bite down on his lip while arching up into him again. This time my hips roll up until I feel the hardness of him. He wants this just as much as I do. “Jagger..," I say in a breathless plea for more. He sits up on his knees while taking my tank top in his hands and pulling it over my head. I’m topless in front of him but instead of being embarrassed I feel wanted. I can see the desire flare in his eyes. I sit up, grip the back of his neck and pull his mouth to mine. I run my hands down his toned chest and stomach of abs, teasing every inch of skin with my nails. I hear him groan just as I reach the band of his boxers. When I slip my hand below and grip him, his head falls back as he draws in a ragged breath. I start a painstakingly pace of teasing him, working from his shaft to his tip then back. As much as I want him, I want to tease him a little more. I want him to beg this time.
Before I know it I’m pressed back on the bed with my hands held above my head. “Londynn…” Jagger whispers in my ear just before he releases my hands. He slips a hand inside my shorts, the heat from the center of my body grows. I let out a muffled cry into his neck while gripping his shoulders to keep me from shattering. “You’re so ready. You want this pretty girl," he says in an almost awe-struck voice.
Pedal to the Metal (James Brothers Series Book 1) Page 15
