****
By the time I pull into the shop I’m seething with anger. The way Londynn is reacting to everything is stupid, childish even. I hand her car keys over at the desk and tell them the issue. I go over to one of the workers and ask for something I haven’t done in years. I ask him for a cigarette, I use to smoke but I quit when I found out Harlyn was pregnant. I haven’t smoked since except for when I’m really stressed. Well, today is one of those days.
I head outside to the picnic tables on the side. There’s some nice shade from the tree. I sit on the table with my feet on the bench as I stare out into the distance and nothing in particular. Bowie comes up just as about to put the cigarette out. “Smoking? That bad of a day?” He asks taking a seat next to me, pulling out his own pack. I just nod my head. “You want to talk about it?” He offers.
“Why are women so damn frustrating?” I basically growl.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Oh man! I knew it was Londynn who had you all worked up. You know I don’t know a damn thing about women. I gave that up when Hollis left.”
“Yeah I know. Sorry about that, didn’t mean to bring it up.”
He doesn’t answer for minute but then he finally says “No big deal man. It’s been a long time.”
It has been a long time but it’s still clearly a big deal. When Hollis left she took Bowie’s heart with her. The Bowie he is now is not who he was then. Now, he parties too much, drinks too much, smokes too much, fights too much and spends his nights with a different girl in his bed. It’s his way of acting like he doesn’t care, like he’s such a badass that it doesn’t matter that his heart was broken. He can say he’s over it, but the truth is if Hollis were to walk back into his life right now he’d take her back in an instant. “I don’t know what to do.”
Bowie squeezes my shoulder. “I’m going to tell you this once and then I’ll deny it if it ever leaves this table because I can’t have women thinking I want all the hearts, flowers and romance but if you care about Londynn, if you love her then set your pride aside and go get her. She’s clearly crazy about you but she deserves someone who is just as crazy about her. I think that’s you but if it’s not just let her go.”
We sit in silence until Axell shows up to join us. I scoot down as well as Bowie to make room for him. “I remember when dad added this ol’ thing out here. Never thought it get much use," Axell says.
We hear the engine of Ace’s car and soon enough Ace and Jovi have joined us. Jovi asks me where Londynn is because he has to tell her about Operation Monrowe. “She’s not here right now. Maybe she’ll be at the races later.”
“Oh, I saw her car and just figured," he says looking a little disheartened.
I glance back over towards her car. “Yeah her car died. I had to go tow it in.” I look back at the car again and realize that I don’t want to be without Londynn. That girl in that red car stole my heart the first time I saw her. I love her, but I need to tell her that. It’s getting late, races will start in a few hours. I get up from the table and face my brothers. “I love her.”
“No shit Sherlock," Ace tells me.
As I make my way to my car I hear my brothers hollering and whistling from behind me. I can’t help but smile.
****
When I pull up to Londynn’s new condo I notice they now have a welcome sign and doormat. I’m slightly surprised to see Farrah’s car still here. I figured she’d be out with Connor. When I ring the doorbell Farrah answers and clearly, she’s getting ready for the races. She dressed in her normal overly sexy attire and her hair is in rollers. “Jagger? I didn’t know you were coming," she says after the initial shock wears off.
“Yeah I didn’t plan on it either. Is Londynn here?”
She steps back and lets me inside. I look around and notice that it’s almost all unpacked and decorated. “She’s been in her room watching Gone with the Wind.” I raise my eyebrows in question. “It’s kind of like her go to movie. She watches it whenever she’s emotional so be careful and good luck.”
“Thanks” I tell her as she turns and heads back upstairs to her room. I walk past the kitchen and living room, down the small hallway to Londynn’s room. I knock on the door and go in. To my surprise she’s dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and worn out t-shirt. Her hair is piled on top of her head and she has a carton of ice cream sitting in her lap. “Hey pretty girl.” She just looks at me but doesn’t say anything. “Londynn I owe you an apology.”
She sighs and rolls her eyes. “I don’t want an apology Jagger.” She lifts the remote and pauses the movie.
“Then what do you want?”
“Oh my God! Do you really have to ask that?” She asks.
I run a hand through my hair. This wasn’t going how I had planned. I had this all going very differently in my head. I don’t know how I keep messing this all up. “What is it with you here lately? You always want more from me on your terms but then you’re embarrassed to be seen with me in your part of the world.”
“What?” she basically yells, her voice rising with her emotions.
“You don’t have to act like you’re not. I get it. I’m not Ryce Whitten. I don’t drive a Porsche and I don’t have a trust fund. I know I don’t fit into your world. I don’t need you only wanting me or using me on your terms," I tell her, my own emotions rising.
She gives me a shocked and hurt look. “Is that what you think? That I’m embarrassed by you because of what kind of car you drive or where you’re from because if you do then you don’t me at all! And I’m so freakin’ glad that you’re nothing like Ryce Whitten. Ryce is a horrible excuse for a man but you, you are without a doubt one of the best. I don’t want you just on my terms and I don’t know how you can accuse me of that.”
I let out a hard laugh. “It’s not that hard to piece together Londynn. You keep me as far from your parents and their mansion as possible. When we first went and got some of your things you tried so damn hard to make sure they wouldn’t be there. Then when you needed the rest of your stuff you call Duke, the brother that you barely speak to. And now you’re not even coming to the races tonight. You know those races are important to me, but I guess that doesn’t matter.”
“You think because I didn’t ask you to go get my stuff that I’m embarrassed by you or because I didn’t want to go to the races tonight that I don’t care. You’re wrong Jagger. I didn’t ask you to go get my stuff for you. If you had showed up at that house without me then my parents would have called the cops and had you arrested for trespassing. I was protecting you because I can’t be around them right now. I couldn’t send you to face them without me. I would never put you through something like that. And as far as the races I wasn’t going because you’ve been distant, and I didn’t really want to see Ryce. It was never because of you or that I didn’t care," she says, and I notice the unshed tears in her eyes forming. I’m such an ass. Why do I keep doing this? I cross the room and try to pull her into my arms, but she holds up her hands to stop me “No Jagger. Don’t. You need to go.” She tells me.
“Londynn…I…I’m sorry. I don’t know why I keep doing this.”
She shakes her head so hard her some of hair falls lose. “Leave Jagger.” Then she turns her back to me. I stand there for a few second before crossing her room and shutting her door behind me. As I walk down the hallway I run a hand over my face and let out a frustrated grunt. When the kitchen comes into view I see Farrah standing there drinking some water.
I shrug. “I guess I’ll see you at the races. I’m sure you heard that and know that Londynn isn’t coming. I’m sorry I never meant to hurt her in any way.” I turn to leave. As I’m sitting behind the wheel of my car I notice the screen of my radio flash with a favorite artist alert Kings of Leon. I bang my hands on the steering wheel. I haven’t been this insecure since I first started dating Harlyn. Harlyn. Maybe that’s my whole issue. I keep pushing Londynn because what I feel for her is in some ways stronger than what I felt for Harlyn and it just fee
ls like I’m doing something wrong.
I start the car and pull out of the parking space. I glance once more back at the door. Leaving Londynn upset and hurt in her room just seems wrong but my damn pride is just too bruised to go back in there. So, I put my car in drive and peel out of the parking lot.
Chapter 23
Londynn
I’m staring blankly at the wall in front of me while trying to keep myself in check when the knock on the door brought me back to reality. Farrah is standing in my door way dressed in her normal Farrah fashion. She has a red long-sleeved shirt that comes off her shoulders. The sleeves start in the middle of her upper arm causing the top of the shirt to expose more of her chest than necessary. Her light wash jeans are tight and low rise leaving her belly button exposed. Her metallic wedges top off her outfit. She looks beautiful and sexy, not something I could ever pull off. This is the type of girl Jagger needs, not me.
Farrah crosses the room and sits down next to me on the bed. She reaches for my hand “Londynn, you need to go to the races tonight.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. Besides you heard Jagger, he doesn’t even think I care.”
“Londynn, Jagger James is not like the boys you’re use to dating. Guys like Ryce have money to fix their wounded prides and to buy their girlfriends back if they upset them. Jagger doesn’t have any of that. He’s just a genuine guy that is falling in love with you.” I whip my head in his direction. I don’t know what would make her think that he’s falling in love with me. Farrah lets out a small laugh at my reaction. “I’ve only seen Jagger look at one other girl that way and it was Harlyn and actually I don’t think he even looked at her as strongly as he does you. Not to say he didn’t love and care about her because we all knew he did but with you it’s different. I think that’s scared him too.”
“Love is supposed to be this great thing. I get that he’s scared, I am too," I tell her, finally admitting it out loud.
She sighs “Maybe you need to tell him that. You have to put yourself in his shoes for a minute. He’s in a relationship for the first time since his fiancée and unborn child were killed unexpectedly and with a girl that he probably feels like is out of his league. He’s never dated outside of his side of town. This is a lot of firsts for him in a short amount of time. He may just need to hear you have the same fears.”
Farrah makes sense and I want to believe her, but I can’t help but notice the difference between the girls he’s use to and me. “I’m not like the girls he’s use to. I’m not sexy and curvy. I can’t dress like you and pull it off.”
“Oh Londynn. You have a lot to learn about Jagger. Have you ever seen a picture of Harlyn?” She asks, and I shake my head. She stands up and holds her hand out to me.
I place my hand in hers and she pulls me off the bed. “Where are we going?” I ask.
“To show you that you are exactly the type of girl that Jagger James will fall in love with.” She pulls me through the condo and up the stairs to her bedroom. She pushes me on the bed and goes into the closet. She comes out a few minutes later with a box in her hands. When she removes the lid, I see tons of pictures, she rummages through them until she finds what she’s looking for. She hands me the picture and I recognize Farrah, Bowie, Axell, Sadie and Jagger. However, I don’t recognize the girl that Jagger has his arm around. She has medium length brown hair and kind looking eyes. Her smile lights up the whole picture and she’s wearing a modest black and white polka dot sundress. “Do you know the girl in the sundress?” I shake my head no. “That’s Harlyn. She was the good girl who always dressed modest and was the kindest, most soft-spoken person you’d ever meet.”
I study the picture a while longer. “I guess I just figured she dressed and acted like…”
Farrah completes my sentence when I trail off. “Like me and Kynlee and all the girls who throw themselves at Bowie. Jagger loves racing for his own reasons, but it has never been about the girls for him. He never noticed them with Harlyn and I’ve noticed that he doesn’t pay attention to them since you’ve been around.” We sit in silence while her words sink in and I continue to study the picture. “Do you want my advice?”
“Yes, please," I reply.
She takes a deep breath. “Go get dressed and come with me to the races. When you get there find Jagger and talk to him.”
“What if he doesn’t want to talk? I mean he wasn’t exactly happy when he left here.”
“Then you grab his face and kiss the hell out of him until he forgets about the fight," Farrah tells me. She takes the picture from my hand, pulls me from the bed and pushes me towards the door. “Now go get ready.”
When I get back to my room I rummage through my closet for a couple of items I had purchased months ago on a splurge. At the time I never thought I’d use them but right now I need them. In the back of the closet I find the boxes I have yet to unpack but luckily the first box I open has the black ripped jeans and leather jacket I bought on that whim. I pull them out. I find a blush colored flowy tank top to go with it. Once I’m dressed I add a small necklace and pin my hair back on one side. I find a pair of blush heels then head to the living room to meet Farrah. When I enter she releases a whistle. “Girl he’s going to forget everything when he sees you.”
“I hope you’re right but just in case I remembered your advice, kiss him until he forgets," I tell her, she laughs which causes me to laugh as well.
Farrah grabs my hand and pulls me towards the door. “Come on were going to be late!” We hurry to her SUV and through the streets to get the races. When we pull up its crowded, so Farrah parks a few blocks back and we walk up to the races.
Once we make it through the crowd I spot Jagger easily. My heart rate picks up and my stomach gets packed with butterflies. He’s talking with Ace, Bowie and…Duke. Instantly I wonder why? I love Duke, but I don’t trust him, I can think of no good that will come from Duke associating with any of the James brothers.
****
Jagger
By the time I manage to get the races I’m not even in the mood but at the same time I crave that adrenaline rush of getting behind the wheel of my car and getting so lost in the race that everything around you becomes a blur. Once I’m out of the car I notice Duke standing a few cars down from me. He’s on our side which is odd since technically he should be across the street with the other rich kids. I walk down to him just as Ryce’s yellow Porsche pulls up and parks. When he gets out he tries to keep his head down but it’s easy to see his face has taken one hell of a beating. Most of his skin is bruised or busted up. Ryce glances in our direction and I notice him quickly avert his gaze to the ground once again. Looking up I notice the smirk on Duke’s face and a thought occurs to me. “You’re knuckles are busted up because you beat the hell out of Ryce.” Duke merely shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Why’d you lie to your sisters?”
He clears his throat. “Londynn has always been fiercely independent. She’s always been one to take care of things on her own however I didn’t see a reason to let Ryce off the hook and besides it’s not like she could have done near enough damage to him to make him feel remorse.”
“So, you lied because Londynn is independent and wouldn’t have wanted you to defend her?” I ask him in disbelief. No matter what he said I didn’t think that was the only reason. There was more to why he lied to Farrah and Londynn.
He runs a hand over his chin. “That’s part of the reason. The other is that I didn’t lie. I was seeing a woman whom I didn’t know was married. When her husband found out…well needless to say he wasn’t very happy. He did manage to get one good hit on me and it busted my lip.”
Now, it all makes sense. The lip was from the angry husband, but the knuckles were from the beating he handed out to Ryce. “You know you could have just told them it was from Ryce. I mean I already thought it was once I saw his face tonight.”
He laughs “You think I’d let that pathetic ass get a hit on me. Hell no! Besides my sisters already expe
ct the worse of me, no reason to let them down now.”
“Why do you say that?”
He shakes his head. “They love me, but in their eyes, I am our father made over.”
I have to ask him “Are you?”
“Not exactly. We are similar, but I would never do what he has done to our mother. I actually care about a handful of things in life unlike him.”
I study him for a moment and notice his eyes hold an almost haunted look as well. “What handful of things?”
“Well, aren’t you the curious one tonight? However, I’m feeling talkative, so I’ll play. My mother, my sisters, women, money and power," he says holding up his hand and counting them off on his fingers.
“No offense but that sounds like your father.” I tell him offering an apologetic smile.
He holds up his hands in surrender “No offense taken, and it does sound like him aside from him caring about my mother and sisters. He doesn’t care about those things. Now that Londynn has finally gotten out from under them I’m free to do as I wish.” I give him a questioning look and he continues. “When Farrah left my parents felt like they lost control, so they took it out on Londynn and I. I knew that if I left like Farrah had done then it would be unbearable for Londynn, so I stayed and played by their rules because I knew eventually my baby sister would realize what she wanted out of life and she’d break free.”
“That makes sense," I tell him while nodding my head in agreement. It’s nice to know that just because it seemed like he didn’t care that he had actually stayed around to help protect Londynn. At the same time, it’s sad that she’s lived her life believing that she only had Farrah and Vivienne when her brother was also there in a different way. It’s a shame that Duke Parrish might actually be a decent human being, yet his sisters believe the worse in him. Instead of encouraging him to tell them the truth I ask him what he wants to do with his life.
Pedal to the Metal (James Brothers Series Book 1) Page 18
