As I shoo Brad, Garth, Duke, Harlan, and his brothers away, I get kisses on the cheek from each and it makes me smile. The guys are really trying to be nice to Duke, and our friendship has become more casual and easy, leaving the weird tension behind. I like it because underneath the rough redneck exterior, Duke is a good guy and he deserves good friends. As I look over the large spread of food, my mouth waters at Rosa's mother's tamales, and I pick one out of the aluminum pan quickly.
"You don't have to hide it, querido." Rosa's mother, Yolanda, comes up to my side, wrapping her arm around my waist. She is a petite woman like her daughter, with jet black hair and tanned skin. Her brown eyes are large like Rosa's, filled with kindness and love, and I hug her back. "Have as many as you want."
"Oh I will," I tell her and she giggles, walking away to keep some of the older ladies from opening the party favors that are on each table. Kendall and the girls have done a great job with planning this, and I can't seem to tell them thank you enough. Lindsey Kindle had really come through and helped a ton with her little sister, Tracie. I smile and wave at them as I pass by their table to catch up with Rosa and get this show started.
Kendall, Dana, Yolanda, and the Kindle sisters get everyone seated as we start to play the typical baby shower games. The whole 'guess their belly size by a length of ribbon' and word scrambles that are timed; giving small prizes to those that finish first or guess the closest. Rosa and I participate when needed, but we mostly just sit back in our padded lawn chairs behind the head table and watch; giggling like little girls at the women fighting over answers or prizes. Most of the guests consist of my friends, coworkers, and Dana's family and friends, which is a weird introduction: "This is Rhea, Chad's fiancée, and mother of his child. Yeah, awkward. The only family Rosa has here are her mother and grandmother, and her only guests are about ten coworkers; but she knows most of my friends.
"Chica," Rosa leans her head on my shoulder, her straight black hair blowing slightly in the wind and tickling my bare back, "I'm glad we are doing this." She smiles wide and I wrap my arms around her very round belly. She only has about a month left, and the doctor told her on Friday that she can really go any day; it's just a matter of when the baby decides.
"I'm happy too," I say, leaning my cheek against the top of her head. Rosa puts her hand on my belly, rubbing it lightly, and I laugh. "It looks like I have a basketball under my shirt." To me, it really does look like that because it's so round and I haven't really gained any weight anywhere else.
"Well, maybe if you would put some meat on your bones," she jokes, lightly poking me in the side making me jump, "you could be like me and just blow up everywhere." I look at her and she puffs out her cheeks, and, without hesitation, I lightly bump my palms on each side making a popping sound as she lets out her breath. We both burst out laughing, leaning on one another as I see Kendall come up and take a picture of us.
The games come to a rowdy end as Lily Jacks and Janice Ludwell fight over a gift basket of baking supplies and utensils that I had helped Kendall put together. Lindsey Kindle steps in and offers Lily a spa basket instead, and she accepts, but not without mumbling, "Maybe she'll learn to bake better," to Janice's back as she walks away. That's all I need at a Sunday afternoon baby shower, two women in their late fifties brawling over a basket of goodies.
I ask Yolanda to tell everyone it's time to eat, hoping that the food will calm the rowdy County Fair Blue Ribbon pie contest rivals. It does, and everyone gets through the buffet line behind Rosa and I without any incidents, sitting and eating with comfortable conversation all around. The food is delicious and I am stuffed to the brim with fruit, hamburgers, chips, pasta salad, macaroni salad, potato salad, and baked beans. I am so full that when it comes time to cut the cake, I have to have Kendall help me from my lawn chair.
Waddling over to the cutely decorated table behind Rosa, I can feel everyone gathering around to take pictures. Rosa's cake is white with pink flowers, hearts, and pacifiers all over it with "Welcome Marisol Isabella Martinez" in fancy lettering written over the middle.
"I really love that name," I whisper in her ear as we pose for a few photos.
It's pretty elaborate compared to my cake. Mine is white with pale yellow and green flowers, ducks, balloons, and booties, stating "Welcome Baby Payne" in the middle over a screened camo print. Dana had taken plenty of pictures of it, because we both know Chad would have loved it. "You haven't picked a name yet?” Rosa asks, leaning into me for one more picture, and I shake my head, while still smiling.
"I can't decide," I kind of whine. It's true, I can't. There are too many choices and too many combinations of the names that Chad and I both like, to pick just one. Besides, I still don't know for sure that it's a boy, so I don't want to nail down one just to be thrown a curve ball and end up with a girl. I am pretty sure it's a boy and have a few names set aside, but I think it will come down to the very day that I go into labor and I'm going to rely on Chad's input to make the final decision. I want him to feel like he has had a part in this, too, not just by Skype.
Everyone enjoys the cake, praising Dana and Janice Ludwell's baking skills, and Rosa and I settle back into our lawn chairs to start opening presents. We both rip through what seems like miles of wrapping paper, ninety percent of Rosa's things being pink while mine are mostly either yellow or plain white. Getting down to the last few packages, I have enough plain white onesies in sizes from newborn to 12 months to change the baby three times a day and not have to wash any for a month. It is a little overwhelming, but I can’t help but tear up at every little thing.
Lindsey hands me a thick envelope, walking away before I can ask where it is from, but I spot a stamp and return address scrawled on the front. Ellie M. Griggs-Heart is the sender according to the address label, and I look up, scanning the crowd for Dana. Spotting her, I hold up the envelope and shrug my shoulders.
"She mailed it to me," she smiles and shouts over the cooing ladies, looking over the gifts. She shrugs herself and I settle my eyes back on the light blue envelope.
I haven't seen my cousin Ellie since I was five and she was three. She is my Uncle Rick's daughter, and to tell you the truth, I thought they had moved across country to get away from him. My Uncle Rick is the one who got my dad into drugs, and he is known to be violent. It sounds horrible, but deep down, I really thought Ellie and her brother were dead. She had been Kendall and mine's shadow when we were little, tagging along at her toddler speed when we would play.
With shaky fingers I rip the seal open, pulling out a card that has another envelope inside. Reading the normal baby shower tiding on the card, I rip open the second envelope to reveal a letter.
"Rhea,
I know it's been a long time, but I read about your shower in the paper, so I figured I would drop you a line to tell you I still think of you from time to time. I know you probably thought my momma, Jack, and I had dropped off the face of the earth after disappearing so suddenly, but I assure you, we had to leave or we would all be dead.
I know that your dad is in prison and frankly, I have no idea where mine is, but we're all better off that way. I'm living in Waverly in a trailer park, renting a trailer from a friend, and I work in the DA's office part time as a Paralegal. I'm going through a separation from my husband and really have no family around, so work is my life.
Well, I hope you have a great day! I'm sorry I couldn't send a present, but Mrs. Payne's address was the only one I could find in the phone book, so I wasn't sure if I could send anything that could easily get to you.
Please call me sometime. 555-9897. I'd love to see my favorite cousin, Ray-Ray :-)
Ellie Mae
87 Woodhaven Park
Lot #17
Waverly, VA 43521"
This is sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. My long-lost cousin sounds wounded and lonely. I run my fingers along the paper and over the beautiful handwriting, knowing that it will do both of us good to see one another. Maybe two Grig
gs women can patch up all the hurt that two Griggs men cast upon them. Taking out my cell, I type in her number and save it under "Ellie Mae", making a note in the calendar to call her. I smile to myself, feeling like maybe I’ve found another missing piece to this puzzle of my life. Snapping back to reality, I smile out at Dana as she's handing out some drinks, folding up the letter as my best friend makes her way through the crowd toward me.
Handing me a large gift bag, Kendall smiles and sits down next to me. "This one's from me and Harlan," she says, leaning in close, and I give her a wide smile.
I know how much she's wanted to splurge on something pink and frilly, but she knows my gut feeling and I'm absolutely amazed as I pull out her gifts. Inside the yellow and green bag, beneath the tissue paper, is a light green diaper bag. Rolling it around to look at the front I can feel the knot in my throat growing. The front is embroidered, most likely by Harlan's mom, with a pale yellow John Deere logo with 'Payne' above it.
My hand starts to tremble as I run it lightly over the impeccable embroidery job. "Oh Ken!” I say, letting a few tears loose as I throw my arm around her shoulder and pull her close, burying my face in the crook of her neck.
She rubs my back softly, whispering in my ear, "Open it Ray, there are things inside."
Leaning back from her embrace, I slowly pull open the Velcro flap and unzip the closure, pulling it open with both hands. I can't help but grin as I pull out a tiny John Deere hat with 'Payne' embroidered on the back, holding it up for everyone to see.
"Harlan picked that out." Kendall giggles as everyone 'oohs' and 'ahhs'.
"Shoulda known.” I laugh, reaching in the bag for another of the items. It is a cute blue jean overall outfit with a collared, plaid shirt, complete with a pair of tan Timberland boots. There is more than one uttered, "Oh, those boots are so darn cute", as I put them back in the bag. "Thank you so much, Kendall!” I say, hugging her tight, almost pulling her out of her chair. My best friend has been a solid support for me and I know I'll never say it enough to cover all she's done, but I repeat it just the same. "Thank you."
"Ray, you're my best friend, my sister. I'll do anythin' for ya." She kisses me on the cheek, handing me the next package. "Just promise me you'll let me babysit." I can't help but laugh at her and her sincere look.
"Of course you will, but don't complain when you have to change poopy diapers," I say, which gets everyone to laugh and giggle, leading into a five minute story from Rosa's mother about changing her diapers; making Rosa blush and scold her mother in Spanish.
Dana comes over, pulling a chair up on my left side between me and the table of opened presents, with a sweet smile on her face. "That one's from me, Hon," she says and I can see the moisture in her eyes, threatening to spill over as she lightly grips my hand.
Her dirty blonde hair is grey streaked, in need of a dye session, and her bright blue eyes are rimmed in slight wrinkles, giving away her age, but she is still a very beautiful woman. I can only hope that I age as well as she and my mother did.
Looking down at the package on my lap, a large shirt box covered in light blue paper, I'm almost afraid to open it, it looks so perfect. Sliding my hands gently under the ribbon and then the paper, I peel it away slowly. I feel all the eyes on me as I lift the top from the department store box. Pushing the tissue paper aside, I have to stifle a gasp at the items inside. With shaky hands, I pick up the top one.
It is the smallest sailor uniform I’ve ever seen, complete with the white cap. It has dark blue pants and shirt, with a neck tie and stars on the sleeve. I see that there are tears on Dana's cheeks as well as I hold it up for all to see, bombarded by 'oohs' and 'ahhs'. Looking over to her, she smiles wide. "I tried to find a Chief Petty Officer uniform, but I couldn't."
"Oh this is perfect," I choke out, carefully laying the outfit on the table next to me. No doubt the baby will look cuter in an Officer uniform like his daddy, a Chief Petty Officer, but this is just so damn adorable. Lifting the next set of tissue paper pieces, fresh tears start to flow as I spot that familiar desert pattern camo staring back at me.
It looks just like Chad's MARPAT uniform, void of the Kevlar and utility vest, but it is complete with a baby sized, eight point utility cover. The button down shirt has 'PAYNE' embroidered over the left pocket and over the right is the emblem of the SEALs; the eagle with a trident in its claws.
"Dana…" I start to say, but as I look up at her, my emotions take over and I lean into her shoulder, sobbing quietly, but heavily. I hug that miniature MARPAT uniform tightly to my chest as I cry, wanting the real thing to come running around the side of the house, announcing that he is home to stay. But that isn’t to be, at least not yet.
I press the perfect little material of the camo outfit into my chest, as close to my heart as I can, trying to have it push away some of that loneliness that looms there. I can feel arms go around my waist, and without opening my eyes I know that it's Rosa, her tiny sobs joining mine and Dana's.
"It's so perfect, Dana," she says, wiping at her face as I hand the little outfit to her, my arm around her shoulder as she scoots into my lawn chair to share it.
"I'm glad you like it, Rosa, cuz I got you the same ones with your name." She smiles and Rosa squeals in delight, throwing her arms around Dana's middle and hugging her close. Everyone focuses back on the gifts, Dana moving away and helping Rosa get to the last couple of hers as I sit back and hug that little uniform, not wanting to let it go.
I feel stupid at how much this little item of clothing is affecting me, but I can’t help it. It pulls on all those little heart strings that are attached to Chad, and hell, those are all of them. It makes the knot in my throat seem like a boulder and I try to swallow it down as I sniffle and zone my focus out on the back yard of my home. Our home. The grass is perfectly green and trimmed; the roses that Dana and I had planted are in full bloom, giving shades of red, pink, and white to the view.
I am a zombie throughout the rest of the baby-shower, just sitting there and watching, participating only when Kendall or Rosa break my musing. As the sun starts to set, casting an amber color over the sky, the guests are starting to leave and the guys return to help clean up.
I help Kendall pack Rosa's items into her Jeep and her mother's Land Rover, hugging Rosa for what seems like hours as we share another little moment. I smile gratefully at my friend as she kisses my cheek, telling me she will call me tomorrow, and I wave as she drives down my street to the stop sign, sighing when she and her mother's vehicles are out of sight.
"Are ya tired, momma?" Kendall asks as she wraps her arm around my waist, pulling me to her side as I lay my head on her shoulder. I nod, wiping at the light tears that are running down my cheek, and she kisses my hair. "Go on inside, and me and the boys will finish up here."
I hug her tight, telling her my thanks again and move through the garage and up the little steps, through the mud room and into the kitchen. Dana is working away at putting the leftovers into various Tupperware containers for people to take home and I sidle up next to her, digging into a half empty pan of baked beans. We divide up chicken, grits, mac and cheese, and chef salad until we are both sick of seeing plastic lids; tossing the last aluminum pans into the trash, I let out a deep sigh.
"Goodnight, Hon," she says, kissing my temple, and I kiss her cheek.
"Thank you for everything," I say. I know it doesn't cover everything she has done for me in the last eight months after my mother's death, but it's all I can say.
"You're very welcome, daughter-in-law." She grins and kisses me one more time, leaving with a grocery bag full of containers and promising to come by tomorrow night when I get home from work to help me sort through my gifts. Lord knows, I'm too tired to do it now.
Leaning against the kitchen island, I can see that Brad and Garth are working on building a fire in my stone pit as Harlan and his brothers are folding up tables and chairs, throwing them into the back of his pickup. Picking up a piece of celery from the left over v
eggie tray, I crunch loudly on it, sighing heavily as the fatigue starts to settle in.
"Big day; right, momma?" Duke's voice startles me and I whirl around, almost choking on the celery as I come face to face with his bare chest. There is a slight layer of sweat covering him from helping pick up the tables and chairs, and his face has a handsome grin on it. His blue-green eyes are locked on my face as he rakes his hand back through his hair.
"Um, yeah, Duke, I'm finally feeling tired," I say, going to take a step back when his arm shoots out and keeps me in place. I can feel his fingers flex into my hip and I'm frozen in place as a slight fear builds in my heart. What is he doing? I try to edge away from his grip, but he holds me there, moving his other hand to my waist.
"Rhea, I can't hold this in anymore," he says and I can hear the husky edge to his voice; his eyes dropping to focus on my lips. I try to step back more forcefully, but again I'm thwarted.
"Hold what in, Duke? You're talkin' crazy." I try to smile to ease his mind and maybe lighten the mood, but I know it's strained and frightened looking as soon as it crosses my face. A shiver of fear fills me as I feel his fingers trace a line from my hip, across my rounded belly, skirting my breast, up my neck, and resting his palm on my right cheek; his hold firm.
"I want you to be mine, Rhea; I want you to come home with me where we'll raise this baby together," he says, and I'm immediately filled with disgust. "I know you have feelings for me; I can see them written all over you. We should be together, and I'll raise the baby like my own."
I can't believe he's saying these things, and today of all days. His fingers are massaging into the sensitive spot behind my ear just like Chad does, and I slap his hand away, turning my anger on him in my voice and look.
Coming Home: Book 2 The Wakefield Romance Series Page 11
