What has come over me? I have no idea why I’m following the sound, but there is something telling me to and I can’t stop myself even though I try.
Remembering that I’m in a hospital gown, I slow my pace, edging around a sycamore tree to be face to face with a little boy. He renders me speechless. His light brown, almost dirty blonde hair is short and wavy, just hanging over his ears and in need of a trim. His smile is wide, revealing dimples in his cheeks and one in his chin.
“Hi,” he says, tucking a football under his right arm while reaching out towards me with his other. “I’ve been waitin’ for you, silly. Come on.”
“Who…” I almost start to ask, but as I notice his eyes, I know who this little boy is. He’s my son. That familiar blue-grey storm is present in his big eyes, sparkling in the sun and as I take his little hand in mine, tears find my eyes.
“Why were you waiting for me?” I ask, letting him pull me in whatever direction he’s heading.
His hand is so little and warm inside mine, and it feels just right. Like Chad’s does when it’s in mine. I must be dreaming. This can’t be real. I was just pregnant with my son and now he’s standing beside me, holding my hand, and looking like he’s seven or eight years old. No, I’m dreaming.
“What do you mean, Mommy? I always wait for you on Sundays.” He giggles, maneuvering over a fallen tree in his worn jeans and little Converse sneakers. “Come on, Daddy’s waitin’ for us.” He tugs on my hand and it somehow reaches up into my heart, making tears trickle down my cheek.
I follow him in silence, listening to his chatter about school and how his pee-wee football team is doing. Why is he talking to me like he doesn’t see me every day? Are Chad and I not together? No, I push that thought from my mind, helping the boy over a stump and onto the concrete sidewalk, letting him tug me back in the direction of the hill.
He smiles up at me, putting his dimples on full display before dropping my hand and sprinting up the slight hill, turning and yelling at me. “Come on, Mommy! Last one to the top is a rotten egg!”
“Well, what the hell?” I tell myself, smiling and taking off after the spitting image of my love. He laughs and screams in delight, almost tripping up before I swing him up into my arms, tickling him as he laughs.
“Charlie!” I hear Chad’s voice yell. “Come on, Charlie, we gotta get home. Grandma’s waiting for us.”
“We’re coming,” I yell, letting Charlie down from my grasp. He wraps his arms around my waist, hugging me tight, and I run my fingers through his hair. Casting my eyes over to Chad, my heart falters, causing a frown to touch my lips.
He is standing in front of Randy’s and my mother’s stones, his hands clasped behind his back as his eyes are closed. His hair is shorter, trimmed up into a long buzz cut with the grey pretty much taking over the light brown. His shoulders are hunched and from here, it looks like he might be crying.
“That’s silly“, I think, “why would Chad be crying?”
“Alright, Mommy, I gotta go,” Charlie says, getting to his tip toes looking like he wants a kiss. Looking down at him, my heart feels like it might jump out of my chest, tears finding my lashes again. “Come on, Mommy, give me a kiss.”
“Well I’m going with ya, Charlie, don’t be silly,” I run my fingers through his hair again, loving the way he looks up at me with his chin on my stomach. Why wouldn’t I be going with them? They’re my family.
“No, Mommy,” he says, shaking his head and taking a step away from my grasp. His blue-grey eyes are filled with sadness as he looks at me, breaking my heart into a million little pieces. Before saying anything else, he darts off, between headstones and right to Chad’s side, wrapping his little arm around Chad’s waist before they turn and head to the truck parked in the drive.
“No,” I scream, tears streaming down my face, “wait!” I hurdle the first few tombstones but fall on the fourth attempt, landing on my knees and feeling the cool earth beneath. My heart is beating a mile a minute as my chest tightens, fear filling my veins. I scream over and over, “No, wait!” but they never turn around and as the truck starts, my world shatters. They drive off and leave me as I try to chase it a short distance before falling once more, lying on the pavement and sobbing.
Why would they leave me? Why am I in a fucking hospital gown?
Forcing myself to my feet, the sobs still rolling through my chest, I trudge toward that familiar sprawling red maple and the two headstones beneath it. As I get closer though, I see that there aren’t two headstones, there are three. Randy’s white cross, my mother’s red heart shape and a new, pillar one with a statue on top.
The statue is magnificent and as I get close enough to touch it, I run my fingers over the carved wings of an angel. She is kneeling, with roses in her hands and a foal standing beside her. As I keep running my fingers over the stone, a sense of dread fills me. I don’t want to look at the name on the pillar, but I know I have to, even though I can feel it’s not good.
Rhea Noel Griggs
Dec. 24, 1987-Oct. 30, 2012
Beloved sister, daughter, friend, fiancée, and mother.
I’ll be seeing you....
I let out the most horrid sound, ending in a choking sob, filling my chest and making my head hurt. Falling to my knees I hug my arms around myself, trying to ebb the waves of hurt surrounding my heart. My throat is tight and my chest heavy as my back sinks to the base of that cold stone pillar. This is how it ends? No! It can’t be this way!
“I won’t let it be this way!” I scream into the emptiness around me. My head is throbbing and as I get to my feet, a hot pain shoots through my right thigh, sending me to my knees again. “No,” I cry, sinking into the darkness the pain in my head is causing, hearing voices on the other side.
“Calm down, Rhea,” they say, “Calm down, you’re alright.”
“Someone get her fiancé,” another says and I laugh. There is no fiancé. It’s all gone. All I’ve ever wanted is gone.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
November 3, 2012
Chad
Four days of hell.
I thought being stuck in the desert, being fired at by insurgents was bad, but that was nothing compared to this. Pure. Hell.
That’s what I’ve been through and as I sit in the hospital cafeteria, leaning over a horrible cup of coffee with my head in my hands, I can’t seem to see the end. It’s surreal, living without seeing Rhea’s smile every day or hearing her laugh. I’ve slept in a cot at the side of her bed, not wanting to leave her in case of any changes, but she hasn’t woken up. She’s stabilized and all of her vital signs are good and strong, but the doctors say her brain and body aren’t ready to wake up just yet.
The house is too quiet for me to be there without her. I tried it on the second night, and I had spent the majority of it sitting at her desk in the spare bedroom, not ashamed to cry in the darkness of my home, running my hands over the stacks of books she has read a million times over. The nurses who work the ICU know me by name now and let me use the showers in their men’s locker room so that I can stay with her 24/7.
Charlie has been released and he’s with my mom and Kendall, somewhere out getting some lunch away from the sickening and depressing feel of the hospital. He makes me smile just thinking of him. Four days old and he already has my mother wrapped around his little finger. The littlest squeak and she is picking him up, cooing at him and rocking him. I’m still getting the hang of changing diapers and bottle feeding, so I’m more grateful for my mom than ever.
“Rhea,” I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face roughly, then back through my newly cut hair. I had Kendall cut it shorter than I’ve had it in years, clipping it to just longer than a buzz cut. Hopefully Rhea won’t be too disappointed. After all, I still have my beard. Sighing again, I try to drink the horrible concoction they call coffee and relax, trying to focus only on good thoughts.
She'll wake up soon. She'll smile and laugh. She'll be so excited to see our son. She'll come home
and everything will be okay. It'll be okay because she'll be here, with me and our son. That's all I want.
I can hear a boost in noise from the hallway, but don’t pay it any mind until I hear my name from the doorway. “Chad Payne?” I shoot to my feet, leaving behind my coffee as I make it to a stout nurse at the door, nodding my head. “Mr. Payne, please come with me,” she says, turning and heading down the hallway with me on her heels.
“What’s wrong?” I ask tersely, matching her fast, little strides with smooth, even ones of my own.
“Nothin’s wrong, Honey.” She smiles, weaving expertly around other nurses and doctors. Then why the hell is she waddling her ass off in the direction of the ICU? I think and she smiles up at me. “Your fiancée is awake and asking for you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rhea
I’m scared more than anything, choking on this tube running down my throat as a handful of nurses rush around my room. “Calm down now, and we’ll get this out for ya,” one of the male nurses says, smiling; placing his hand on my shoulder and I nod, reaching up with my non-sore arm and brushing at the tears running down my cheek.
Where’s Chad? Where’s my baby? Are they okay?
"You gotta lay still now, Honey," the man says, nodding to another man in a white coat coming up to my right side. "The doctor is gonna take this tube out now, and you might feel like you're going to choke, but you just have to remain calm. It isn't going to feel good."
I nod my head as a few more tears slide down. I just want them to get it over with so I can see my son and fiancé along with my friends. I need to know that they are okay. I need their presence to reassure myself that I'm okay, that this is real and not another horrible nightmare. My entire body is sore and stiff, even just moving a small bit sends pains radiating over my limbs.
"Alright, here we go," the balding doctor says as his fingers wrap around the tube just below my lips and I squeeze the blanket into my hand as the first movement scratches through my throat. The nurse was right. I feel like I'm throwing up continuously as I gag on the tube coming up. The heaves hurt my chest, and my head is throbbing along with my chest and right shoulder.
Finally it's out, but I can't stop coughing, because my throat is raw. "Chad," I scratch out between coughs as the male nurse hands me a glass of water.
"Another nurse went to find him." He smiles as I drink. As he is taking note of the IVs and different tubes, he grins down at me and winks. "He's been here non-stop. He loves you very much." He nods over to the corner where I see a cot, in perfect condition with a blanket neatly folded at the end.
"My baby?" I cough, handing him the empty cup while wiping the back of my hand across my chapped lips. "Where's my baby?" Before the nurse can reply, I hear Chad's voice from the other side of the curtain and he sounds upset. My heart jumps to a rapid beat and a sweat breaks out on my palms.
"What do you mean I can't go in? She's my fiancée," I hear him say, then a lower voice saying something about a doctor. My heart feels like it's going to jump from my chest because he's less than thirty feet from me. He's just outside the door.
"Miss Griggs," the balding doctor clears his throat, looking at me over his glasses while jotting something down on a clipboard. I keep my eyes locked on the curtain as if my vision will burn a hole in it so that I can see Chad on the other side, but I nod. "Miss Griggs, please give me your full attention," he says forcefully and I snap my eyes to him. "You were shot three times. Your shoulder blade and collar bone were shattered. The third tore through a lot of muscle in your thigh, nicking your femoral artery, and you lost a lot of blood. Your son is fine and has been discharged, but you'll need to have physical therapy for your arm and leg."
"Okay," I squeak out, still training my ear to the door where I can still hear Chad putting up a fight. "And my head? Why is it bandaged?" I reach my left hand up and run my fingers over the gauze.
"You hit your head, and there was some swelling on your brain. We had to shave your hair off and make an incision to relieve the pressure." He comes up and moves my hand away, leaning over and peering at the bandage, prodding his fingers around. "We'll change the dressing later and let you have a look. It'll be shocking, but you’re speech is fine, and there's no signs of nerve damage." He looks in my eyes, pushing up the lids and shining a light in them for a split second. "It looks like there isn’t any brain damage, which is good."
He offers me a smile which I try to return as he jots some more stuff down on the clipboard. "You are still very weak, so take it easy. I know you’re worried about your son, but he's just fine. So, when your friends and family come in, don't be afraid to let them know you’re tired. Your body has been through a lot." He looks at me over the rim of his glasses and I give him a sweet smile this time, nodding my head. "Okay then, I'll leave you two alone for a little while."
As he disappears behind the curtain I hear the swoosh of an automatic door, then Chad is at the foot of my bed, his blue eyes wide as his chest heaves in and out. After so long apart, the sight of him brings tears to my eyes and I'm not afraid to let them fall. He is here! Oh God, please don’t let this be a dream. His eyes are roaming me, darting from my face to my body and my chest jumps as I sob.
"Baby," I cry, reaching my left arm up to get him to come to me.
He fills the void within seconds, the bed shifting under his weight as he sits and crushes his lips to mine. They’re warm and strong, and just the feel of them fills me with the sense of home. I've missed this. I've needed this more than he'll ever know. As I run my left hand from his shoulder, up through his hair I'm surprised at how short it is, but I don't care. All I care about is how his lips are moving with mine, how his breathing is heavy like mine, and how his tongue seems to be memorizing my mouth, dancing with mine as his hand cradles my neck.
"Rhea," he breathes, breaking our kiss and holding my forehead to his. As I open my eyes I see the pain written all over his face and I press quick kisses across his cheek, folding him into my embrace with his lips brushing against my neck. "Baby, I've been so worried," he whispers and I can feel his tears meeting my skin.
Coming back up so that his face is pressed against mine, he kisses me lightly again, running his nose over mine as he kisses each of my cheeks. "I've been lost without you, Ray," he whispers, kissing my eyelids and forehead as I run my hand down his flannel shirt clad back, pulling him closer to me.
"I'm sorry, Chad," I sob, burying my face in the crux of his neck as his arms wrap ever so slightly tighter around me, being careful of my right side. I'm sorry for being weak enough to make him worry. I'm sorry for ruining his welcoming home party. I'm sorry for putting both his son and I in harm’s way by trusting Duke Orr with my friendship. He showers my cheeks with kisses, landing on my lips and possessing them until we're both out of breath.
"Shh," he whispers with his lips held to mine. "You have nothin' to be sorry for. This isn't your fault," he says, rubbing the pads of his thumbs gently over my cheeks as his hands hold my face. His bright blue eyes are rimmed in red and they break my heart, shattering it as he seems to reach into my soul. "This isn't anyone's fault, except for Duke's, and we're not gonna talk about that asshole right now." He kisses me again, leaning me back onto the bed.
"Our son," I ask, wiping the tears from my cheeks, gazing up at him as I try to get comfortable with the ache growing in my right shoulder. "Where's our son?"
"Charlie," he grins, running his fingers along the bandage on my head, then down across my cheek, "Charlie is comin' with my momma and Kendall. I'm guessing they've called everyone else, too, so you'll be surrounded in no time." He smiles and I can't help but giggle, wrapping my fingers into his and relishing the feel.
"You named him Charlie," I whisper, bringing his hand to my lips with a grin. "I knew you would pick that one, and it's a good thing you did." I laugh as he gives me an evil smirk, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, yeah? Why's that?" He laughs, leaning down and claiming my lips again.
"Because it's the one I wanted, too." I smile, nipping his bottom lip lightly as he tries to pull away. With the tip of his nose pressed against mine, he takes a deep breath and sighs, running his hand along my cheek and neck, making a shiver run through my body. "What, Baby?" I whisper, kissing the end of his nose.
"I'm so glad you're okay," he breathes out, opening his eyes and peering down at me. "If you or Charlie hadn't made it…” He pauses and his jaw tenses. I squeeze his hand to reassure him I'm here, and he smiles. "I wouldn't be able to go on without you, you know that right?" he says with a serious look, his eyes roaming over my face.
"I know," I whisper, pulling him in for a long kiss. "I wouldn't be able to live without you either." It is true. I wouldn't be able to stand life without his presence. He is that other piece of me. He's the Abbott to my Costello, as the silly little saying goes.
We sit here, heads together kissing and whispering until the swoosh of the automatic door spikes my heartbeat once more. Chad sits up to clear my view of Dana, standing at the edge of the curtain with a car seat in her hand and tears in her eyes.
"Oh Rhea," she cries, rushing to my side and hugging me, kissing my cheek repeatedly.
I feel Chad stand from the bed but can't see what he's doing as Kendall comes up on my right side, crying into my hair as I kiss her cheek. They both shower me with musings and tidings on how worried they were and how happy they are that I'm finally awake, but both go quiet when Chad clears his throat. They each kiss me on the cheek again and smile as I try to scoot up to see where their attention is landing.
Coming Home: Book 2 The Wakefield Romance Series Page 18
