Broken Compass

by Jo Raven

  Syd slips her hands over his chest, under his shirt, then undoes his belt and the buttons of his jeans. He takes her face in his hands and kisses her, walking her backward until she’s in front of me.

  I pull her on my lap. Nate leans over her and drags her panties over her legs and off. I put my hands over her tits, squeezing, and she moans.

  What are we doing? Her sweet ass is pressing back against my hard dick, and it feels awesome. She turns her head and we kiss, long and slow and deep and it gets me harder and harder.

  “West…” I undo the clasp of her bra, slide the straps down her arms and get it off her so I can cup her soft tits and tease her stiff nipples. “Please...”

  I want to sink inside her so bad it hurts. But the feel of her tits in my hands is amazing, and every time I tug on her nipples, she whimpers and rubs her ass against my hard-on. It’s making my brain sluggish and my body burn.

  “What do you want, West?” Nate is stroking his flushed cock, legs slightly spread, looking down at us.

  “Suck him off,” I order softly. I’m not used to issuing commands, but tonight I want to see, to control.

  Maybe because I lost the last shreds of my control these past few days and I’m still not sure I’ve stopped spinning in this downward spiral.

  She moans softly, then reaches for him and he steps closer, his gaze moving from her face to mine and back.

  Her small hand closes around his dick and her lips part on an inhalation. Then she swallows the tip of his cock, hums around it. Curls bouncing, tits swaying, she goes to town on him. He looks down at her messy red hair, but doesn’t touch her, only breathing in and out, groaning when she swallows him deeper.

  His stomach clenches, and he hunches over, and he’s so obviously struggling not to come yet it sends a bolt of heat right through me.

  “Stop,” I say.

  He growls, shakes, but puts a hand on her hair to stop her. “Got an eyeful?” he pants. “Good show?”

  “It’ll do.”

  He chuckles, shakes his head. “Asshole.”

  Syd lifts her head, glances over her shoulder at me, cheeks flushed, mouth red and puffy. “And for you?”

  “I want inside you.” I scoot back on the bed, lie on my back and gesture in invitation, my other hand closing around my hard-on. “Come here.”

  She turns around and crawls over me, those round tits right in my face, the slickness of her pussy trailing over my legs, my stomach. “What do you want?”

  I pull her down and lift my head to lick and suck on her nipples. She keens and shifts on my chest, her pussy warm and leaking.

  “West…” Nate’s voice is broken with arousal. “Goddammit, if you’re gonna lead, then tell me what the fuck to do.”

  I release Syd’s nipple from my mouth and look at him standing there, his cock hard and flushed, his body trembling. Does he think I’m ever gonna leave him out?

  “Get on here, man. I’m not good at this controlling thing.”

  Nate gives a broken chuckle, then crawls on the bed with us, his cock hard and heavy between his legs. “You’re doing fine.”

  He’s always needed control in the bedroom, and now he’s willingly giving it over to me.

  Doing as I bid.

  Letting me boss him around.

  I feel as if my chest is cracking open. They are trying to figure out what I need right now. And they’re giving it to me. A gift. An understanding. A collision of flesh and burning heat.

  “Ride me,” I tell Sydney, dropping my hands to her hips. “I want you on top of me.”

  She lifts up and I grab my dick and guide it to her pussy. So soft. Warm. It opens up like a flower, swallowing the tip of my cock and I hiss at the heat and pressure. I push inside her in one slow, long thrust and still, trying to calm my racing heart.

  Fuck. So good.

  I arch up, fucking into her, each slide and push shooting fire down my spine. It gathers in my balls, behind my dick, a coiling pressure that’s about to fucking shatter me.

  Nate is stroking himself, kneeling beside me, his eyes glued to Syd and where she’s joined to me. “Damn, that’s sexy,” he breathes. “I want in. West…”

  “Goddammit, do it.” I grip Sydney’s hips harder, lift her and slam her down on my dick. “Just do it.”

  She reaches for him and when he climbs behind her, snagging a tube of lube from the nightstand and uncapping it. “God, yes.”

  We don’t often take her at the same time. Often we take turns, where we ride her or she rides us one by one. She’s generous, always ready for both.

  But this… doing this together is just fucking hot.

  He pushes inside her, and I grit my teeth at the mounting pressure. Sydney moans and writhes as she spreads wide for him, too, as she’s filled with both our cocks, filled to bursting. She’s more beautiful than ever like that, accepting us both inside her.

  Her pussy clenches around my length, and I have to move, have to bury myself deeper. Nate’s dick pushes against mine inside her, and he grunts, shifting and bending her over just enough so he can fuck her ass as I fuck her pussy.

  Despite coming earlier, with Nate, I can’t last long, not with all that fucking pressure around my dick and the sight of her on top of me, pale legs spread, tits bouncing, eyes half-closed, mouth slack. Her hands are braced on my chest, her nails leaving burning imprints of crescents in my skin, the slight pain fueling my desire even more.

  I’m about to come, when she opens her eyes, looks right at me and says, “Earlier today… I thought I saw Kash.”

  Nate groans, his movements slowing. I’m gripping her hips so hard I bet I’m leaving bruises as I roll back from the brink, my mind a hive of defeating noise.

  “Syd… what the hell are you talking about?”

  She bends more over me, the hard tips of her breasts grazing my chest, making me twitch. “God… Am I losing my mind?”

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Sydney

  I wasn’t supposed to tell them of my moment of insanity. I thought I’d keep it to myself until I convinced myself I imagined it all.

  And I especially wasn’t supposed to tell them about it now, when they’re both buried to the hilt inside me, cocks swollen massive and hard, their groans and gasps telling me they’re close to losing control.

  When I want them to lose control, and my own body is poised on the edge of an orgasm that’s going to sweep me to dangerous depths and flay my soul.

  Just the feel of both of them inside me is throwing cracks into my thoughts, chipping at my guards, breaking my defenses.

  Probably why I’ve blurted this out. My walls are not just down, they’re smashed to dust. Having my boys inside me does that. Having their attention, their focus, their pleasure dependent on me.

  It makes me feel powerful, and desired, and needed.

  “Syd.” West swallows hard, and his hard cock quivers, caught in my pussy. “This isn’t funny.”

  “I’m not kidding. I thought… I thought I saw him—”

  “Syd.” Nate shifts, presses to my back, and his cock sinks deeper inside my ass. I moan brokenly, my train of thought derailed. “It wasn’t him.”

  “You… don’t know that.” I press back, and that changes the angle of West’s cock in my pussy and we both groan. “Shit.”

  “Kash… isn’t here.” West’s hips jack up, his cock stretching me, sliding in and out of me, burning me so good. “Fuck…”

  We’re rocking together now, the three of us, faster, desperate for release. Nate puts one arm around me, over my stomach, bending over me, West writhes on the bed, caught under us, his cock swelling more and jerking, leaking heat so deep inside me I hiss and squirm.

  “Oh my…” I can’t breathe. My core clenches so hard I cry out, my pussy pulsing around West’s thickness, Nate’s dick twitching in response. “Oh God… Please.”

  “Give it to me, girl.” West slips a hand between my legs, finding my swollen clit and flicking at it, massaging it. �
��Come with me.”

  Nate growls at my back, his cock impossibly big, touching me in places that spark and crackle, making my pussy contract so hard I think I’ll break in two.

  It’s like a dam breaks inside me, the pleasure flooding me until I can’t contain it. I flail and convulse and thrash, and West curses and lets go, spilling and spilling until my pussy overflows.

  “Ah fuck…” Nate pulls me back, against his chest, bites into the juncture between my neck and shoulder and comes, cock jerking and shooting hot cum. I feel all of it, and aftershocks of pleasure roll through me, getting my pussy to clench again around West’s still half-hard cock.

  He moans and shudders and grabs my hips again, this time to still them. “You trying to kill me, girl?” I swear he’s hardening again inside me. “Holy shit.”

  Laughing breathlessly, I lean back against Nate. His arm around me is the only thing holding me upright. “We still have to talk.”

  “About Kash appearing to you like Jesus?”

  “No.” I slap at his chest. “About you.”

  But we don’t.

  Know why? Because my mom is back in town.

  And how do I know that? Because she frigging calls me after years of being away, years of not replying to my calls or sending a text back to let me know she’s alive.

  It’s ironic how the one person I’d given up on, the one I was sure had ended up in a ditch somewhere is here—and the one person I can’t give up on, the one I keep seeing in front of me even if he’s not here, hasn’t returned.

  “Where are you, Mom?” I ask, turning away from my colleagues in the university admin office, my voice trembling. “Are you all right?

  “Where I am? Where are you? I went home, and you weren’t there. Someone else lives in our apartment! How could you?”

  “Me?” I’m too shaken to muster up any anger, but still. “I had to go, Mom. I had no money to pay the rent, and I didn’t want to be alone. You left me alone.”

  She sighs as if I’m being difficult. “Oh, baby.”

  My eyes feel hot. I may be already crying. I swallow hard. “Are you in town?”

  “Yes, but I’m leaving tomorrow. No reason to stay.”

  “No reason? I am here!” My voice breaks. I cover my mouth, shoot out of my seat and run out of the office, letting the door slam behind me. I pace the hallway outside. “You don’t even want to see me after all these years?”

  “Oh, honey. You moved on with your life, like I did with mine.”

  “You left three years ago, Mom. Three years! Of course I moved on. I had to. But please…” I struggle for composure. “Please, Mom, don’t go.”

  The pause that follows seems to drag for centuries.

  “Let’s meet, then,” she says. “Tonight. Where shall we go?”

  I manage to gather my thoughts enough to tell her the name of a small coffee shop not far from home and then she disconnects and I’m left staring into the void, my heart slamming inside my chest, my hands clammy.

  I just can’t believe she’s back. That she called… that she acts as if nothing happened, as if these three years she was out of my life, out of reach, don’t matter. I had to go through life alone, pretend I had a parent around, sign my own reports and take care of myself.

  And now she waltzes back in as if it’s the most natural thing in the world?

  Worse still, I want to see her. My heart aches for her hug. She’s my mom. No matter what, she’ll always be my mom.

  Butterflies swarm and tumble and explode in my stomach as I call Nate, telling him what happened, and then West. They both sound incredulous and incensed on my behalf, but it’s all distant—their voices, their reactions.

  I’m still in shock.

  They both offered to come with me to meet my mom, and I’ve accepted. Not having them by my side never crossed my mind.

  I turn that over in my head as I grab some lunch and head to my afternoon job. I kept the ice cream parlor position when I realized my new job wasn’t enough for the rent, all the expenses and putting something on the side. Since mom left me, I’ve had to graduate to thinking like an adult, to thinking ahead.

  I grew up without her, matured. Discovered things about myself. What I fear, what I love. Found my own family, fought for them.

  It takes a while, but anger finally cuts through the haze, clearing it. Sure, I’m still shaky, still excited, still full of questions. But the pain lessens as fury warms me up from the inside.

  Until that emotion crashes again and leaves me in shambles.

  Betty, my new co-worker is going on and on about her upcoming wedding, and it’s frankly driving me up the wall. Thank God I leave work early to make the appointment with my mom.

  Mom.

  God, this is so weird. Emotions clash inside me. I’m still angry, but also sad, and wistful, and happy, and guilty—because I never went to declare her missing. I know it was because for the first months I believed she was coming back, like always, and then… Then I decided she’d walked away for good.

  Again the difference between my feelings toward her and Kash strikes me. When mom vanished, I was pretty sure she had just decided to live without me, but Kash… From the start I knew in my heart that he hadn’t left voluntarily.

  I went and told the police of our theory, by the way. They didn’t mock me. They said they’d look into it. But I don’t want to hope.

  And yeah, it’s so weird. Like I know both Mom and Kash so well, and I know which one of them really cares. Which may be harsh. After all, I still haven’t heard Mom’s side of the story. You never know. She may have valid reasons. Heck, what if she was kidnapped and was just released? What if she was in an accident and lost her memory and only just…

  Nah.

  Let’s be realistic, shall we? Real life is a crazy bitch, but Mom didn’t call and tell me how much she missed me, or that she came back the moment she could. This is Mom. She’s selfish, something I tried not to think about for years.

  Still. Can’t know for sure until I meet her.

  Nate has the car today, and I’m so lost in thought as I board the bus and head home that I don’t notice anything and anyone around me. At my stop, I climb out of the bus, randomly thinking that West said something about the future the other day. That he and Nate have plans for the future.

  We have plans for the future, and that thought melts some of my anger and confusion.

  And that’s when I see Kash.

  I mean, I see someone who looks vaguely like Kash crouched in front of a store, hood over his head, arms folded over his chest.

  It can’t be him, but… but I think I catch a glimpse of his face, and it looks like him, piercings and pale eyes and all.

  Before I can second guess myself more, I start toward him—but people step in front of me, coming out of the bus, going into different directions, hiding him from view

  And when I manage to fight my way through them and reach the store front, he’s not there.

  Am I seeing things again? Am I losing it?

  My pulse hammering in my throat, I turn around and make myself walk away before I abandon the last shred of my sanity.

  The boys are waiting for me outside the coffee shop, talking about something. They fall silent, turning to me and smiling when I approach.

  West grabs my hand and hauls me to his side. “I’m so fucking happy for you,” he whispers. “That your mom came back.”

  “Yeah, that’s awesome,” Nate says and brushes a curl out of my face. “Ready, girl?”

  No, I’m not at all ready. I’m not sure if I’m more upset, or nervous, or sad, or happy, but there’s no chance I’m stepping back. I’m doing this.

  We are doing this.

  “Thanks for coming, guys.” I kiss West, a quick peck, then Nate, and step ahead of them, entering the coffee shop first.

  But I don’t see her. She’s not here. That’s my initial thought. She didn’t come, and there’s this bizarre mixture of annoyance and relief flooding my
mind.

  God, what’s wrong with me?

  Until I spot her. It has to be her. She’s sitting at the back of the shop, in a dark corner, her hair, red like mine, shining.

  She’s not alone.

  Instinctively I take a step back. There’s a guy sitting across from her, his hair gray, his beard dark, his shoulders broad, encased in a blue sweater. He looks strong, unpleasant and downright annoyed.

  It scares me. Mom’s boyfriends never were good people. They never really hurt me, but they often pushed me around as a child. Leered. Watched. Intimidated and got off on doing it.

  Another step back and I walk into someone who lets out an oof of surprise.

  “Where you going, Syd?” Nate’s hands land on my shoulders, and his voice in my ear calms me down.

  West steps to my side. “Isn’t she here yet?”

  “She’s here.” I take a soothing breath, and reach for their hands, not caring if it’s ridiculous that I need to hold on to them for this. “Come on.”

  Mom doesn’t notice us until we’re standing at her table. Her eyes go wide at the sight of me—or is it the sight of the two tall, muscular guys accompanying me?

  Who knows?

  I barely know the woman who stands up to greet me anymore, and that’s the truth. I let go of the boys to hug her skinny frame, her scent familiar and yet laced with a chemical that makes me wrinkle my nose.

  Pulling back, she looks down at me. Mom is taller, if not by much. She smiles at me and I smile back, my eyes stinging.

  “Mom.” Suddenly I don’t want to let go. “I missed you so much.”

  “Me too, baby. Me too.” But she glances at the man sitting at the table instead of looking at me. “You have to tell me all about it.”

  “Who are these guys?” The man flashes us an insincere smile that’s more a cruel baring of teeth. “This is a family reunion. Scat.”

  “What are you talking about?” I turn to him, incredulous. “They are family. And who are you?”

  “Careful how you speak to Harold, poppet,” Mom says. “He doesn’t like—”