Broken Compass

by Jo Raven

  He can imagine perfectly well what I’m about to do. He knows me, and besides, guy has a filthy mind. He has no choice, living with us. We trained him well.

  I lean in and kiss West, tasting Kash on his lips – mint and coffee and an undefinable, exotic spice. West slides his hand up to the back of my neck and grips me painfully tight. He and me, we can be that way with each other: savage, violent, testing each other’s limits. We grew up together sparring and running, and this sexual game is an extension of that.

  He’s panting raggedly when I pull back, his hard-on hot and poking into my side. “Holy shit, Nate.”

  “Yeah.” I grin at him like a cat and he’s the canary. “This is good.”

  This is fucking awesome. And I’m so fucking hard right now I could push a nail through the wall with my dick. Tugging Sydney up against me, I kiss the ever-loving shit out of her and when her hand goes to my hard-on that’s swinging free of my pants, I groan in her mouth.

  This is getting serious. My balls ache, heavy with the need to come, and my heart is racing. The air sizzles.

  This girl is made of fire, and we’re just moths to her flame.

  Kash makes a gasping noise. He’s gripping his dick in a white-knuckled hand, his hard-on impressive, the tip purple and wet. I love how he looks, so debauched and needy, so ready. But…

  “Uh-oh. Hands off your dick, blondie.”

  “What?” His voice is rough, his pupils so dilated he looks like he’s on drugs.

  “Off.” I eye his dazed expression and make a strategic decision. “Tell you what. I’ll take it out of your hands.”

  “Take what out of my hands?”

  “Well, your dick, for starters.” I unthread my belt and scoot closer to him.

  “Oh shit,” West breathes from behind me. Sydney moans.

  Alarm enters that quicksilver gaze. “What are you doing?”

  “Taking care of you,” I whisper. “Let me.”

  He jerks when I grab his wrists but lets me tie his hands to the bedpost. I test the belt, to make sure I haven’t cut off his circulation.

  I’m new to this, but I’ve read about it and I’m pretty confident, at least when it’s small things like tying one my lovers to the bed. “Comfy?”

  His lashes flutter. His leanly muscled chest is on full display, the ink on his arms stark, his dick leaking on his stomach.

  A surge of affection goes through me. This is what sex should be like, what love should be like: giving the ones you love what they want, what they need, not caring if it’s “normal” or not. As long as it makes your lovers happy.

  And as I wait for Kash to settle, arms straining over his head, hands clenching helplessly, obviously damn aroused and entranced, I realize I’m not a sadist. I don’t love his pain, but I’m excited because of how much pleasure we’re about to give him.

  I’m turning into an expert when it comes to my lovers. I have discovered ways to pleasure them, ways to push them until they’re shaking and then give them a release that will help them relax, and my fucking heart is about to burst with joy that we get to do this, have this.

  This relationship. This life.

  Hands slip around my hips – big, rough hands, smoothing over my stomach, up to my pecs. West. I lean back against his chest, allowing myself to enjoy his touch for as long as I can. He rolls my nipples into hard points, strokes my ribcage, then those wicked fingers slide down to wrap around my dick, making me hiss.

  “Oh fuck…” Kash moans, tugging on the belt, body arching up, his gaze glued on where West’s hands stroke my cock and fondle my balls. “Fuck.”

  It’s good, but I can’t stand much of it. Someone I can’t see, a guy, touching me. I’m getting better at letting it happen, at trusting, but not… not yet.

  I move away from West, away from Kash, and pull Sydney to me. She smiles up at me, and suddenly I need to be inside her so bad I can’t stand it. We’ve all been through a lot in the past years, and everything’s good now, but she makes it better – every day, every night.

  I don’t wanna let go of West completely, though, not even when panic teases the edges of my vision, of my logic. I can never let go of this guy, and he knows it. The moment I reach for him, he’s right by my side, now and always.

  He molds himself to Sydney’s back, reading my desire easily, as I slip my fingers through her hair, lifting it so he can kiss her neck.

  “Nate…” she whispers breathlessly, her gaze shifting to Kash who’s straining against his bonds, and back to me. “I want you.”

  “Of course you do. I’m too sexy for my body.”

  She grins and runs her hands over my chest. “You are. So fuck me like you mean it, sexy.”

  Have I mentioned she drives me crazy? With lust, with happiness. I feel drunk as I twist her long curls around one fist and haul her against me.

  “Careful what you ask for, girl.”

  “I trust you,” she whispers, and fuck, she’s shredding my control.

  “You’re gonna get all of me,” I promise.

  “And this ass is mine.” West kisses her neck and strokes her pussy, making her whimper. “Damn, you’re so wet.”

  Kash produces an agonized sound. “You’re trying to kill me.”

  Sydney licks her lips, her gaze dipping again to his cock, her eyes dark. “I want…”

  “You’ll ride Blondie in a bit.” I grip her chin, turn her gaze back to me. “After you’ve come on my cock.”

  Kash curses and pulls on the leather belt. I have a moment of concern that he’ll hurt himself, but then he stills, gaze intent on us when West grabs her hip with one hand, and starts stroking her pussy harder with the other. Sometime in there he gets some lube from the nightstand, the tube lying on the bed beside us.

  “Mine,” West breathes as she whimpers and leans against me, letting him open her up. “All of you guys are mine.”

  His words are a shot of hot need straight to my dick, a brush of something warm against my heart. “West…”

  “You,” he tells me, his eyes locked on my face, “are mine.”

  I am. I’m his, and Sydney’s, and Kash’s. I belong to them, and they belong to me, and it’s fucking beautiful.

  I kiss Syd, and her hands scrabble against my biceps, her nails digging into my skin, her soft tits pressing to my chest again. I love the feel of the contrast between her lush, velvety tits and their hard, excited points. I kiss the sweetness of her mouth, her short breaths, the scent of her arousal, and press my hard-on against her stomach.

  It takes an effort to break the kiss and wrestle back some control into myself. “West.”

  “Sir, yessir.”

  Bastard. A hot bastard who owns me body, heart and soul. “Hurry, will you? Can’t hold back much longer.”

  He grins and rocks his hips forward, dark hair raised in small spikes, cheeks flushed. Then he dips his face and his eyes flutter closed. “Fuck…”

  “Oh God.” Her mouth falls open when he pushes his dick into her pretty ass. She loves it when we take her together, loves feeling both of us inside her, but it’s always intense, and we slow down, to make sure it’s good for her. “Nate…”

  “I’m right here,” I soothe her, struggling to stop myself from shoving my cock into her sweet pussy right away. “Breathe, girl.”

  She whines, and I gather her against me as West drives his dick deeper into her, his hands on her hips, steadying her. His face is a study in concentration and pleasure, his jaw clenched, his eyes heavy-lidded, his powerful chest cut in beautiful, stark lines.

  Finally he’s in, and he glances up, his eyes unfocused with arousal as he pulls her back on his lap. “Nate.”

  I don’t need to be told twice. I swipe my thumb between her legs, over her hard clit, and lower, where she’s wet and flushed, where West’s cock fills her ass. Swiping back up, I dip my thumb into her hot, throbbing pussy, and we both moan.

  “Give it to me,” she whispers, her eyes like dark green glass, molten with desire
. “Please.”

  I spare a glance for Kash who’s watching, teeth sunk into his lower lip, his dick so engorged and wet it looks painful, his legs tensed, muscles bunched up in his thighs and in his outstretched arms, bound over his head.

  He looks good.

  Desperate.

  I pull my thumb out of Syd and grab my dick. Getting on my knees, I rub the head against her clit, making her shudder, then sink inside her slowly, so fucking slowly, feeling the hard ridge of West’s cock pressing against mine as I fill up her pussy, the barrier between us barely there.

  A groan escapes me, from deep inside my chest, and my eyes all but roll up with the waves of pleasure. The grip of her pussy on my cock is electric, it’s fire and pressure, maddening and impossibly good. I want to come, but I don’t want this to ever end.

  Whenever we do this, it blows my goddamn mind.

  West is leaning back, giving me space to move. Balls-deep inside her, with a good view of her flushed tits and bright eyes, I grip her waist and start fucking her.

  Them.

  God, so damn intense. She holds on to me as I fuck her against West, our thrusts a push and pull, a give and take, cocks straining inside her.

  She comes first, moaning my name and thrashing on my dick as if she can’t take the fullness, the pressure, the pleasure of it. Her nails scratch grooves down my arms, and the light sting drives me on harder, to fuck her deeper, faster, until West groans and comes, too, his cock jerking inside her.

  I’m not far behind. My mouth captures her lips in a crushing kiss as the heat behind my balls curls and tightens into an unbearable ball of need, and I explode, filling her with my cum.

  One day, I think fuzzily, my dazed brain running in loops as I try not to fall on top of her and crush her, my dick still jerking in the hold of her pussy, one day she will be off the pill and we’ll put babies in her. And it will be just awesome.

  We’ll fill this house with children and laughter, and they will chase away the last remains of darkness that we still carry inside us.

  But meanwhile…

  “Nate…” Kash sounds desperate, his voice hoarse, his breathing ragged. Please, goddammit. I need to fucking come. Untie me. Come on.”

  Yeah, desperate.

  I grin as I pull out of Sydney and kiss her reddened mouth one more time. “Sexy girl and boys, ready for round two?”

  Kash shoots me a murderous look when I crawl between his legs. “This isn’t funny.”

  “Of course not. It’s hot.”

  “It’s not—”

  My hand closes around his dick, and he jerks with a gasp. “You don’t call the shots today, pretty boy. So relax. Let us take care of you.”

  His eyes are comically wide while I play with his dick and balls, slipping my hand lower. He tenses, panting, as I stroke behind his balls, dipping a fingertip into his ass.

  “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah,” he breathes, writhing, “oh yeah, God…”

  “One day you’ll beg for it. One day soon.”

  He makes a sound of protest – to my words, to not my caress. I know, because his hips lift restlessly, and he bears down, impaling himself on my finger. His cock trembles and leaks. He likes this. I’ve played with him like this many times before, and I had Sydney do it to him, too. But he hasn’t let me fuck him, like West has, not yet.

  Soon. He’s almost there. He wants it. But I won’t try until he realizes it, too.

  A dark pleasure fills me when I touch them like that. When I twist them up with need and they are still unsure about wanting it or hating it, when they realize how good it can feel and can’t get enough.

  And it’s dark, so dark, because it’s tangled up in my mind with the things done to me, things I hated, things that hurt me and wounded me, that make up my nightmares.

  But maybe this is the answer, this is how I will exorcise my demons: by turning that dark knowledge into good, into pleasuring my lovers. Changing the pain into power and understanding.

  I pull my finger out when his cock twitches, because I don’t want him to come, not yet. He groans and tugs again on the belt.

  Damn, I need to be more prepared than this, invest in some good handcuffs with lining inside. His wrists will be bruised to hell tomorrow.

  And that dark place inside me likes the idea.

  Shooting him a wink, which he barely notices, he’s so worked up, I move back and take Sydney’s hand, pulling her toward us. “Do you wanna make him come?”

  Her cheeks are rosy, her curls dishelmed, her nipples hard. She smells of sex and she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. “Yes.”

  I tug her until she’s between his legs. She puts her hand on his cock and he moans, sweat trickling down his temples, his lower lip red, bitten through.

  “Fuck, please. Please, Syd.” He’s rambling, nearly incoherent. His dick bobs against his stomach, swollen and heavy. His balls are drawn up, tightly. “God, I need to come.”

  Damn, I’m getting hard again. But hey, West is, too. He smirks at me, propped up on one elbow, watching.

  It’s just… so damn exciting. Kash is trembling with tension, his gaze riveted on Sydney, and she’s languid, already sated, but getting aroused all over again just by looking at him, touching him. She runs her hands over his chest, and she’s not cruel, unlike me. But he’s so close, he could come with one good stoke of his cock, and her touches are featherlike, torturing him.

  Arousing him more, until he can hardly stay still, can’t take it anymore.

  “Ride him, Syd.” I reach for her, tuck a red curl behind a dainty ear, stroke her cheek. “He can’t take much more.”

  She smiles at me, then climbs over Kash’s legs, straddles his lap and lowers herself onto his cock.

  He cries out, body arching up as she takes him inside her. I wonder how long he’ll last. Probably seconds.

  West sits up and drags me onto his lap. He molds himself to my back, and I’m so entranced by the show unfolding in front of me, I don’t flinch. I let him wrap his arms around me, one hand closing around my cock, let him press his mouth to my neck and suck so hard he’ll probably leave a mark.

  Absently, I put my hand over his as he strokes me, staring as Syd rides Kash with slow, sensual rolls of her hips, her hands on his chest, as he twists on the bed and bucks, mouth open in a huge gasp.

  His legs tense. He lifts both himself and her off the bed as he finally comes, every line of his body straining, muscles taut, his pale skin covered in a sheen of sweat.

  She shudders, head falling forward, hips rolling and stilling. She comes, and I know because he groans as her pussy squeezes his sensitive, spent dick harder, and then she slumps on his chest.

  Fuck. That’s hot. I could come again just from watching them, but I lift West’s hand off me, give it a squeeze, and then crawl over to where Kash and Syd are lying in a sweaty tangle of limbs. I undo the belt and when his hands drop, I massage his wrists.

  Yep, bruised. Not too bad. But I really need to get those handcuffs because these little games we play are awesome.

  He rolls his head to shoot me a dazed look. “Nate…”

  “That’s how you destress,” I explain, smiling at the slackness of his mouth. “We make you wait, and don’t let you come until the end. And then you let go and explode.”

  “Motherfucker,” he wheezes, drunk on endorphins, his grin lazy. “Almost killed me.”

  “But you’re relaxed now. Gonna sleep like a baby.” I tug Sydney off him, gather her to my side. “Okay, girl?”

  She nods against my shoulder.

  “What about you, West?” I glance over her copper curls at him. “Gonna sleep okay, or do you need me to destress you some more?”

  I ask it lightly, though he still suffers from more nightmares than the rest of us. But he only grins, his dick. “Lemme think about it.”

  It’s a testament to how far we’ve come, that we can joke around about it, treat it like something normal.


  We’ve redefined normal. We’ve remade it, end of story. I fucking love our new normal, and I’m ready to strip the sheets and fall in bed with my people and sleep.

  But then of course the doorbell rings.

  Gigi with Jarett, her boyfriend, are standing at our door.

  I blink and stare at them, my mind still on West and Kash and Syd and the sex we just had. I scratch at my bare chest. “Hey, guys…”

  Gigi is pretty, and Jarett’s hot with his green eyes and chiseled jaw. They look good together, and Sydney’s so happy for them. I can see why. They look like they’re in love, the way he glances at her, the way she holds on to his big hand.

  Fucking cute.

  I wonder if we look that way to them, too.

  Especially now, as I realize I’ve opened the door only dressed in my sweats.

  Oh, uh…

  Gigi clears her throat. “What have you guys been doing? You’re all flushed and flustered and…. Oh my, is that a hickey?” Red spots appear on her cheeks. She claps a hand over her mouth.

  Jarett makes a noise in the back of his throat that sounds suspiciously like a chuckle.

  Automatically I put a hand to my neck, where West had his lips earlier. “What are you guys doing here? I mean, fuck… were we doing something tonight?”

  “We were going out to eat!” Gigi is practically jumping from foot to foot, her eyes bright. “Someplace nice.”

  “Whoa, okay, okay.” I lift my hands in the face of all that enthusiasm and wonder vaguely what caused it. “Tell you what… Why don’t you sit and give us a moment to take a shower?”

  She colors more, because of course I implied we’ll be taking that shower together. I didn’t notice when I stopped worrying about what people might think and treating this as normal.

  Because it is normal. For us. And so fucking awesome for a group of people who thought they’d live without love.

  It would have been so easy to turn sorrow into fury, fury into depression, madness and despair, but instead we’re here. We held each other up, pushed through, built up this life.