SOUL PROTECTOR
The first book in the Soul Protector series
By Amanda Leigh Cowley
Cover by Phatpuppy Art http://phatpuppyart.com
Photography by Todd Church tlchurchphotography.com
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 Amanda Leigh Cowley
http://amandaleighcowley.blogspot.com
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This book is a work of fiction. The names and characters are products of the writer’s imagination only. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
~~~
PROLOGUE
.
I opened my eyes and the restaurant came back into view, but something was different. Something was very wrong. I’d been facing the main door before, I was sure of it, but now I was turned towards the kitchen. Even that seemed insignificant. It was a far more disturbing situation causing my heart to thump. In the blink of an eye Lydia had gone. In her place, the face staring back at me was my own…
~~~
CHAPTER 1
.
First Time
.
The invitation was pretty; metallic swirls on crimson paper, spritzed with exotic perfume. I leant on the kitchen work-surface admiring it for a few moments before sighing, folding it in half, and placing it on top of the recycling pile. I knew Lydia wouldn’t really expect me to go to her birthday dinner, but I made a mental note to phone her with a fabricated excuse to make us both feel better about it. And then, as usual, I procrastinated. Every time I wandered into the kitchen, the brightly-coloured paper caught my eye, and my stomach would flip-flop as I remembered I still had to make the call.
On the Thursday afternoon leading up to Lydia’s ‘do,’ she caught me off-guard, popping into my workplace unannounced. I’d been lost in proof-reading a long and boring article, trying to work out why a particular paragraph didn’t flow right, when her familiar voice cut through my focus. I’d looked up sharply. She was smiling at me; a small, tight smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Oh, wow… hi, Lydia,” I said, managing to freeze my face into a pleasant expression. “What a nice surprise.”
Her smile dropped, but she managed to keep her tone casual. “I was just passing, and I remembered you haven’t told me if you’re coming to my birthday dinner, or not.”
She leant on my desk waiting for an answer and I remember feeling heat creep up my face. I opened and closed my mouth, praying for my brain to scramble a decent excuse, but before I had a chance to come up with anything tangible, she’d launched into a lecture.
“Gracie Reynolds, stop being so selfish. You shouldn’t abandon your friends. One day you’ll want a social life again, but when you look around there’ll be no one left to hang out with.”
Well, she had a point. Desperate to quieten her in front of my colleagues, I’d had no choice but to take a deep breath and commit myself.
“Lyd, don’t be silly. Of course I’m coming to the restaurant. I’m really looking forward to it.”
A small look of victory flashed across her features and she nodded. Then she smiled again, a genuine one this time, and sashayed out the office. Every male in the open-plan area watched her leave.
~
On the night in question, I trudged up the slope towards Westow Hill. The combination of wind and rain was proving too much for my old khaki jacket and I felt the force of nature through every tiny gap and button hole. High-heeled boots had been another mistake. I thought longingly of my tatty trainers abandoned at the bottom of the wardrobe. It took every ounce of resolve to stop myself turning round and heading back to my warm, cosy flat.
I rounded the corner and saw the neon sign outside the Italian restaurant. The green and red lettering of ‘Vertoni’ looked dazzling against the night sky. I took a quick glance at my watch and chewed my lip. They’d all be inside; Lydia, her friends, and their perfect lives.
At least Kerry will be there, I reassured myself. Kerry, my oldest friend, would know exactly how I felt. When I’d called her after the Lydia visit, she’d told me it was a good thing. She was pleased I was finally getting out and about again, and she promised me everything would be okay.
Like a fool, I believed her...
As soon as I entered the restaurant, the warmth and atmosphere hit me. The place was abuzz with people engaged in lively conversation, while the background music struggled to be heard. The aroma of a garlicky dish wafted over and my stomach rumbled with recognition.
I wiped my boots on the coconut matting, my heart thudding as I scanned the dimly-lit dining area for Lydia, Kerry and the others. My chestnut hair, (some people might call it ginger), which I’d spent half the evening spritzing and straightening, was now plastered against my scalp, exposing my ears which stick out a tad more than I’m happy with. I discreetly flicked my fingers through the sides to cover them up again.
After a few moments I spied Kerry in the far corner waving her arms wildly in my direction, her dark, curly hair bobbing up and down with the motion. I swallowed hard and made my way over to the table.
“Gracie,” she squealed, leaping up to greet me.
I leant over to give her a hug, and felt her flinch as my damp hair swept across her cheek.
“Eww, you’re soaked. What did you walk for, you daft mare? Anyway, don’t worry. I saved you a seat next to me. Get rid of that soggy coat and come and sit down.”
Confident and bubbly, Kerry always talked at three hundred miles an hour.
“Just let me say hi to Lydia,” I said, peeling off the wet jacket and draping it over the back of my chair.
“Finally, Gracie’s here. We can order food.”
I turned, pleased to see Joe, Kerry’s on-off partner.
“Hey, Joe.” I leant over to plant a kiss on his stubbly cheek, and enjoyed the citrusy smell of his aftershave. “It’s good to see you, stranger.”
“It’s good to be back,” he said, giving me a cheeky wink.
Sitting next to Joe was Lydia. I hesitated before approaching her. As usual, she was styled to perfection; her make-up was immaculate and her long blonde hair fell in glossy waves down her back. The cut of her designer dress, although tasteful, was showing just enough cleavage that most of the men in the restaurant were getting angry reminders from their other halves to stop gawping. She was definitely an alpha female though, and whilst men liked to look, most were too afraid to approach, an unwritten rule declaring her out of their league.
I took a deep breath and bent down to give her a hug.
“Happy Birthday, Lyd.”
As I straightened up, I saw her eyes flick down to her designer watch.
“Better late than never, Gracie.”
“I know… I’m sorry... um… I got you a little something. It’s not much.” I fumbled around in my handbag and pulled out the gift-wrapped package which had somehow managed to stay dry.
Her face brightened. “Aw, hun, you shouldn’t have.”
She took the present out of my hand and began tearing the pink wrapping paper at one end. I watched as she peered inside and tugged at the shimmery material, pulling it out only halfway. She studied it for a full two seconds before her smile dropped and she pushed it back inside, folding the paper over the top.
“A scarf, thanks,” she said, promptly tucking the package under her c
hair.
I managed to keep the smile going, despite my disappointment. I really thought I’d cracked it. Clearly I just didn’t have that natural instinct telling me if something was great… or not.
“Yo, Gracie,” Lydia’s boyfriend, Phil, acknowledged me. ‘My Phil’ is how she referred to him, and so did Kerry and I, but only when Lydia was out of ear shot.
“Been keeping out of trouble?” he teased.
MyPhil was definitely a match for Lydia. Tall, well-built, with sandy hair gelled to perfection. He exuded charm and charisma, putting it to good use as Director of his own PR Company. When he asked her out, he knew he was boxing within his weight. That was over a year ago and they were still wrapped up in each other now.
I flashed him a smile, cringing inside as I felt my cheeks flush - not because I fancied him, but because I always felt a bit unworthy of his attention. I tried to think up a witty retaliation, and instead left an awkward silence. He raised his eyebrows expectantly before giving me a parting grin and turned round to carry on his conversation with Joe.
I smoothed hair over my ears yet again, took a deep breath and went over to my seat next to Kerry. I nodded a quick hello to the other people at our table. I recognised the two girls; they were Lydia’s colleagues. But I’d never seen the guys before.
Kerry picked up a bottle of Rioja that was sitting idle on the table and poured some into my empty wine glass.
“You okay? It’s a bit couply around here,” she said in hushed tones.
“I’m fine. Honest.”
She gave me a sad smile, and I realised my words had come out too spiky to sound genuine.
“You’re better off without him, Gracie. There’s plenty more fish in the sea.”
I rolled my eyes. “I know. Why does everyone keep spewing clichés at me?”
“Sorry,” she said, pulling a grimace. “I just don’t like seeing you down. I know it must be hard for you after what happened, you know, with Mike and Michelle.”
Oh, well done, Kerry. After promising beforehand not to mention that very subject, she’d managed to bring it up in the first five minutes.
She studied my face, waiting for my reaction, but I wasn’t in the mood for picking over my relationship trauma. I lifted my glass, took a big gulp of wine and deflected the conversation away.
“Lydia looks stunning in that dress.”
Kerry ignored my statement. I felt her gaze lingering on my face, but there was no way I was backing down.
I gave her a determined look and raised the volume in my voice. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?” I moved my head purposefully to look towards Lydia, and on the edge of my vision I saw Kerry shake her head gently before turning to follow my gaze.
“Yeah, it is,” she sighed. “Lydia looks great as usual. She’s in peacock mode tonight though, full of her promotion, so get ready to nod in all the right places and tell her how wonderful she is.”
I looked back at Kerry and smiled. Not because of what she’d just said, but because she’d dropped the subject of Mike and Michelle. She had a very stubborn ‘make things better’ reflex. If something was wrong, she made it her mission to sort it out, and I knew it was killing her not being able to fix me.
I spent most of the meal passively listening to the conversations going on around me. Kerry, who’d been chatting about hairstyles with one of Lydia’s colleagues, began lifting up sections of her dark, curly hair and draping it over Joe’s shaved head. Fuelled by alcohol, the others found it hilarious, laughing until tears streamed down their faces.
I made an effort to laugh along with them, but at that point it hit me just how disconnected I’d become. I felt lost and alone. I knew I shouldn’t have come.
In-between courses, Kerry moved her chair closer to mine and gave my hand a squeeze. “I’m so happy you came out tonight. It hasn’t been the same without you.”
She topped up our wine glasses and took a big gulp of hers. “Life’s more fun when you’re around.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Well, it will be, when you’re back to your normal cheerful self. But at least you’re making progress…” She hiccupped and spilled some wine down her top.
“Oops,” she said, pulling the material up to her mouth and attempting to suck the red wine. “Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah… ‘Cause girls our age shouldn’t spend Saturday nights sprawled on the sofa in PJs, with only Sky box office and a jumbo packet of Doritos for company. You were one knitting pattern away from buying a flock of cats...”
“I think you mean clutter...”
“Do I?” she said, another hiccup taking her by surprise.
“Yes.” I picked up a napkin and began mopping her spilled wine off the table. “It’s a flock of birds and a clutter of cats. Or actually… is it a clowder of cats?”
“Erm, Gracie, does this get interesting or can I stop listening now?”
“Sorry,” I said and bit my lip. “Conversation skills take a bit of a nose-dive when you only leave the house for work or Tesco’s.”
“Aah, don’t worry. That’s all gonna change from now on. You’re not a hermit anymore, right?”
I wasn’t convinced, but I nodded anyway. “Thanks for putting up with me while I’ve been so grumpy.”
“Hey, s’not your fault. If my boyfriend dumped me and then declared his undying love for my little sister, it’d knock the stuffing out of me too.”
After our dinner plates were cleared, two waiters appeared with champagne and glasses for everyone. There was the scraping noise of a chair being pushed back, and MyPhil stood up. I assumed he was going to make the obligatory birthday toast to Lydia, so I reached out and slid my glass towards me in preparation.
MyPhil raised his hand for silence, and I was surprised to see it was shaking.
He cleared his throat, and looked up to face everyone.
“I just want to say happy birthday to my beautiful Lydia.”
We all raised our empty champagne glasses in Lydia’s direction, and managed a synchronised ‘happy birthday.’
MyPhil swallowed hard and turned to face her, his voice wobbling as he continued.
“Since I met you babe, you’ve rocked my world. I love you with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He fumbled for something in his pocket, and started to get down on one knee. Shocked, I glanced around at our table and noticed everyone looked as surprised as I felt. As the other diners caught on, the whole restaurant grew quiet with anticipation.
When there was complete silence, MyPhil reached out and took hold of Lydia’s hand.
“Lydia McKenzie, will you do me the amazing honour of becoming my wife?”
I held my breath as Lydia paused, her expression unreadable. I could feel all the little hairs on my arms beginning to stand on end.
After a few long seconds her face broke into a broad grin, and she squealed, “Yes, Phil, I’d love to!”
Right on cue, a waiter popped the champagne cork and the whole restaurant exploded into cheers and applause. A euphoric MyPhil pushed the ring onto Lydia’s finger, then jumped up, picked her up off her feet, and spun her around.
I forced a smile and joined in with everyone else, clapping as hard as I could. I looked at the happy couple, positively sparkling, and felt overwhelmed with sadness at my own situation.
What was wrong with me? One of my best friends had just got engaged, and instead of being thrilled for her, I was eaten up by jealousy. It was almost too much to bear.
I knew I should get up like the rest of my table and offer the happy couple my congratulations. As I moved my chair back to stand up, I felt tears threatening to fall. I tried not to blink. Crying would take a lot of explaining and I didn’t want to spoil the moment for Lydia and MyPhil.
I walked over to where they were standing and Lydia beamed at me. I saw pure elation reflected in her eyes. I opened my arms to embrace her.
“Congratulations, Lyd,” I managed to croak.
> She leaned in and squeezed me back.
It was awful. I wanted to share in her joy, but all I could think was how unfair life was, and how much I wanted to swap places with her and her perfect world. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be successful, and more than anything, I wanted to feel loved. I was so jealous it was like a physical pain.
A traitorous tear escaped my eye and I began to feel dizzy. There was a buzzing in my ears, and for a second or two I felt like I was going to pass out. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and get rid of the giddy sensation and a sob escaped. Lydia released me from her grip and I shakily straightened up, aware of a wet sensation on my cheek. But I couldn’t work out why my eyes were dry. I realised she must have been crying against my face. Tears of happiness?
I opened my eyes and the restaurant came back into view, but something was different. Something was very wrong. I’d been facing the main door before, I was sure of it, but now I was turned towards the kitchen. Even that seemed insignificant. It was a far more disturbing situation causing my heart to thump. In the blink of an eye Lydia had gone. In her place, the face staring back at me was my own.
I squeezed my eyes shut again. When I opened them slowly, I was horrified to find I was still looking at myself and a gasp escaped from my lips. Standing in front of me, my mirror image returned my gaze with one eyebrow raised. I noticed she was discreetly wiping a tear from under her eyelashes.
Paralysed with fear, I couldn’t speak. Any moment now everything will go back to the way it should be. I felt my heart hammering in my chest, as the blood rushed in my ears.
I glanced around; surprised that everyone else was carrying on as normal. Why aren’t they shocked there are two of us? It didn’t make any sense. As panic overwhelmed me, I began to feel woozy, and my vision started to close in...
The next thing I remembered was lying on the floor, and MyPhil kneeling by my side, supporting my head. He was talking to me, but the words sounded like they were coming from far away. I felt a glass being pressed against my lips.
Soul Protector Page 1
