by Michael Ryan
Dale got to his knees and smelled the water.
Dale: Ërin?
Ërin: You have a water-testing potion.
I do?
Yes, standard issue. In your military pack. I’ll highlight it.
Dale uncapped the potion and dropped one drop of the green liquid into the pool of clear water.
The waters of this pool are safe to drink!
Dale put his mouth to the water and drank deeply.
Water Magic Skills Increased: Clueless Level Achieved.
As you grow in Water Magic, you’ll find new and inventive ways to heal and charm your friends.
Hint: Water Magic works in reverse for some tasks.
Investigation Skills Increased: Lacking Level Achieved.
As you grow in skill investigating elements on Almaach, you’ll find clues, caches, herbs, minerals, gems, and other helpful items in the environment.
Hint: No design is accidental, but some things are beautiful for beauty’s sake.
After drinking, he filled his water bottles and sat to rest.
A trout jumped and splashed in the pool.
Dale: Ërin?
Ërin: Yes, Dale, you have a small fishing pole in your standard-issue military pack. Don’t you ever study?
That’s what I have you for.
Yes, darling, I’m forever at your service.
Dale cast a lure into the pond and sat next to Smith, who was too tired to care about fishing. After twenty minutes the fish bit his line. It put up a bigger struggle than he’d expected, but he managed to reel the trout to the shore.
“Can you get a net?” he asked.
Smith retrieved a net, held it over the water, and Dale guided the fish into it.
A cat appeared and meowed.
Ji Ba Mao
Level 7
A magical cat. Gives gifts. Loves fish.
Smith took the fish out of the net and removed the hook.
He put his index finger to his mouth and motioned for Dale to be silent. He set the fish on the ground, mimed walking away from the fish, and pointed to his net.
Dale, who got the hint, brought his net out as well.
Smith lifted it above his head.
Dale did the same.
They stood still and silent, like statues, and watched the feline.
When it moved, ever so slightly, Dale stiffened and hoped it didn’t notice.
The cat sniffed the air and looked around. Detecting no danger, it pounced on the fish and began vigorously licking.
The boys dropped their nets onto the cat.
+1000XP
Congratulations!
You have captured a Ji Ba Mao Lucky Cat!
Dropped: Book of Earth Magic
Dropped: 1-Carat Lucky Pearl, exquisite quality
Dropped: Gingo, a loyal golden retriever
Hint: Gingo will bring you warm companionship, good fortune, and she is capable of tracking. And never forget: Having a puppy is a great way to attract women!
Capturing Pussy Skill Increased: Inept Level Achieved.
As you grow in this skill, you may wish you hadn’t.
Hint: You have acquired your first pet: additional pet quests have been unlocked. Proceed with caution; not all pets are beneficial to your long-term health.
Dale and Smith returned to the village. They paid their respects and gave the lucky cat to the elfin leader to complete their quest.
+2000XP
Congratulations!
You have completed the Ji Ba Mao Lucky Cat Quest!
+1 Stat Point to Charisma when encountering elves.
Reward: You’ve received a Wildebai Mount.
Reward: You’ve received a Water Magic Book.
Reward: You’ve received a 1-carat elfin gem, Vermillion Diamond, Most Exquisite Quality
After thanking the villagers for their hospitality, they mounted their Wildebai and headed back to the Jabez.
“That was profitable,” Dale said.
“What?” Smith asked.
“The quest,” he answered. “It was profitable. I got a good loot drop. You aren’t happy?”
“Yes,” Smith said. “It was good, but I’m really anxious to get back.”
“Oh, why’s that?”
“Nothing, I just mean–”
“Don’t say nothing–”
“I got a charm…” Smith sounded embarrassed.
“And?” Dale asked.
“Capturing Pussy Charm,” Smith said. “From the cat.”
“I see.”
“The night’s young, Dale,” Smith said. He smiled, kicked his Wildebai, and rode hard all the way back.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Can’t you see I’m eating pizza, human?
~ Gingo
After Dale returned home from a hard day of slaughtering snakes, he showered, shaved, and put on fresh clothes in time to meet Amy for pizza and beer.
“How was your quest?” she asked.
He smiled. “I had a good day with Smith, but I’m happy to be back.”
“My day went well, but I can’t talk about it,” she said, returning his smile. “Guild rules.”
“You’d have to kill me if you told me?”
She frowned. “Let’s talk about your quest. You and Smith went on a Nojus Quest for animals, right?”
He nodded. “No secrets there. We caught a few, nothing super rare, but they count towards the zoo quest the guild has. You know, to try to get every animal in the universe.” Dale laughed. “You’d probably need an entire planet to be the zoo.”
“Maybe that’s their plan,” Amy said.
“You think?”
“Could be,” she said. “There are thousands of planets with undeveloped but evolved life. Like Earth a few million years ago, or a hundred million years. Even a billion. Dinosaurs, massive mammals…you know better than I do.”
“A zoo planet would be awesome. Hey, speaking of animals,” Dale said, and looked around to see if any officers were present. “Look.”
He brought out his pet. “It’s Gingo; she’s my new dog.”
“Ooooh. She’s sooooo cute!”
Gingo jumped onto the table, grabbed the pizza, leapt to the ground, and greedily ate whole slices in single gulps.
“Hey, you!” someone yelled. “No pets in here. Don’t you know the rules?”
“Sorry,” Dale said. “She means well. Excuse us. Gingo, come!”
The golden retriever looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the planet. Her face seemed to say, “Can’t you see I’m eating pizza, human?”
“Come!” Dale said again, with more force.
Gingo ignored him and ate another slice.
Dale stood, walked to his new four-legged best friend, and patted her on the head. “You’re a good girl, but you have to go back to sleep.”
“You’re going to get in trouble if you’re not careful, Dale,” Amy said. She gave them both a wide smile. “I like your pet. I’ll have to get one myself, but I’ve been busy with guild business, and, you know…” She blushed.
Dale blushed too.
He ordered another pizza and a pitcher of Hite Exfeel.
When the beer arrived, Dale filled two frosty mugs.
“A toast,” Dale said, lifting his drink.
“To?” Amy asked.
“To us,” Dale said, making eye contact, his heart beating like the hooves of a charging warhorse.
“Is there an us now?” Amy asked, lifting her mug.
“Why not?”
“That’s not very romantic,” she said.
“You’re right,” he said. “I’m not very good at this kind of thing. Would you be my, like my, I mean, umm…”
“Your girlfriend?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Dale blushed again. “I’m sorry. I’m nervous.”
“It’s okay,” she said, and tapped his mug with hers.
“Would you be my girlfriend?” he managed without wavering.
“Yes,” she s
aid. Amy winked, sipped her beer, and broke into an ear-to-ear grin.
Dale took a deep swallow and for a brief moment understood the deepest mysteries of the universe.
They went to see a movie after dinner. Dale felt like a new person while on a date. He thought that maybe this war thing might turn out okay after all.
After the movie was over, they walked hand in hand down a long corridor, and when they were alone, Amy kissed him on the cheek.
“Do you want to come over to my pod?” she asked. “It’s tastefully decorated with white walls, white carpet, a computer, a bed…”
“Sounds unique,” he said.
She smiled. “I guess it’s about as unique as yours. I wonder if anyone would care if we hung decorations on the walls.”
“They’re kind of boring,” he said. “But the world is so colorful that maybe it’s good to have a break from so much stimulation.”
She grinned. “If you don’t want stimulation, you’d better not come–”
“Oh, I’m coming–”
An hour later, while dreaming of puppies and carefree summer days, an annoying alarm buzzed somewhere in the recesses of Dale’s mind. He woke, and being careful not to disturb the beauty sleeping on his arm, he sat up and stretched.
Ërin: Dale, sorry to wake you, but command is sending a message marked urgent.
Dale: Crap.
Sorry, big guy. Duty calls.
Can you read it to me?
Sorry. Command rules. You have to go to your pod. Alone. I’m not allowed direct access to these messages.
But you can read them over my shoulder?
Yup.
Shit.
I know, you were finally sleeping well, and having such nice dreams.
You can see my dreams?
She stirs.
Amy reached out and put her hand on Dale’s chest. “What’s wrong?”
Dale explained to Amy. “I’ll message you right away if I don’t have to run off somewhere.”
Back in his pod, he sat at his desk, scanned his retina, and opened his email account.
Subject: Private Message
To: Brown, Dale
From: Command
Corporal Brown,
Your presence is required immediately in section A-234c.
Hint: Immediately means now!
That was it?
That was the message?
Dale asked Erin to highlight the way, and he headed off, wondering what could be so important in the middle of the night. Wondering made him anxious, and feeling anxious made him more anxious.
Ërin: It doesn’t help to worry.
Dale: I know.
Your vital signs are spiking.
You monitor my…
Of course, and you should have seen–
Stop!
Sorry, I’m just fascinated with the whole concept of a body, hormones, chemistry…
It’s probably overrated.
That’s not what you thought when–
No!
Up there, the door on the left.
Dale opened the door. A corporal with a name tag that identified her as Cassandraler, Nancy, sat at a metal desk. She looked up from her work and greeted him. “Hello, Corporal Brown.”
“Um. Hi,” he said. “I’m here for a meeting?”
“Yes. I’ll let them know you’re–”
A huge man walked through the door at the other end of the room and yelled, “Goddammit! Private Brown!”
Dale shrank. “Um, it’s Corporal Brown…sir!”
“Goddammit! Brown, you pimply-faced idiot! Don’t you know any better than to correct an officer?”
“Sorry, sir,” Dale managed.
Captain David Beck walked out behind the other captain.
“Dale, get your ass in here,” Beck commanded. “I’ve heard you had a pet in a common area. You’re in deep shit, Corporal. Get in here before Kelvão eats you.”
“Sir?”
“Captain Kelvão Aquino. He’s obviously hungry, Brown.”
Dale looked at the other captain. He looked seven feet tall and famished.
Dale entered the conference room with his eyes down and wondered how much trouble he’d caused. When he brought his gaze off the floor, he found himself staring straight into the piercing eyes of Captain Redding.
He gulped.
“Corporal Brown,” she said, “sit.”
Dale couldn’t help blushing. His heart rate jumped again. “Yes, sir.”
Dale sat in the lone chair opposite Captain Redding. He tried to figure out what to do with his hands, but wasn’t successful. Redding was as beautiful as ever, and he felt a pang of guilt.
He had a girlfriend now.
But the captain was so…
“Dale! Goddammit!” Captain Aquino yelled again. “Get your eyeballs back in your fucking head. We didn’t bring you up here to ogle Captain Redding.”
“Sorry, sir,” he said. He sat on his hands and then jumped when the door slammed behind him.
“Relax, Dale,” Captain Redding said. Her voice was reassuring. “You’re not in any trouble.”
“I’m not? Sir?” he asked.
“No, this is just a ruse,” the captain said. “Nancy out there is a spy for the Declanians. We leave her in place because it’s easier to know where the spies are, and because we can feed her bullshit. Your dog stunt this evening actually worked out great.”
“Sorry, sir.”
“Forget it. Cute bitch, by the way.”
“Oh, thanks. She’s a golden retriever.”
“I didn’t mean the four-legged one, Dale.” She winked.
“Sir. Ummm. You’re my superior, but–”
“Redding, enough,” Captain Beck said. “Let’s get down to business. Dale, we sent your information up the chain of command. You did good leading the attack on the Declanians and securing a prisoner.”
+800XP
Congratulations!
Your Reputation with Command has grown!
Hint: Avoid accusations of fraternization by using careful consideration before engaging in unevenly ranked copulation.
“I didn’t do it alone. Yingtai is really the one who–”
“You don’t need to explain,” Redding said. “We’ve debriefed her and spoken with Princess Jara. Good job all around.”
Light Arts Skill Increased: Student Level Achieved.
As you grow in the Light Arts – friendship, relationships, bartering, and general social skills – you’ll find your way in the world goes much smoother.
Hint: Do your thing, and remember to smile more.
“So, Corporal Brown, we have a mission for you,” Redding said.
HQ has offered you a quest!
Accompany Princess Jara to Irkalla.
This is a Platoon Quest.
Meet with King Talargo and deliver the news of the Declan Faction’s knowledge of his daughter and the jewel.
You may also accept any new quests the king offers you.
Hint: Ass kissing can help you advance in rank. Just remember to wash afterward.
Accept: [Y/N]
Dale accepted immediately, but then wondered what would have happened if he’d refused the call. Not that he would have turned down such a good opportunity to level up, but it seemed weird that he was even given an option. He was in the military, after all.
Sometimes even Dale thought that he thought too much.
“Dale, are you still with us?” Captain Redding asked.
He quit daydreaming and looked up. “Yes, sir!”
“Okay, Corporal Brown,” Captain Beck said. “Get the hell out of here. I really don’t want you letting your pets out again in an unauthorized area, either. Just for the record.”
“Yes, sir!” Dale stood and saluted.
“Dismissed,” Beck said, and returned the salute.
Captain Aquino gave him a hungry look, and Captain Redding licked her lips.
When Dale returned to his pod, he messaged Amy.
He received an auto-reply that she was unavailable – probably fast asleep.
He tried to fall asleep himself, but he couldn’t help but worry that something, somewhere, somehow, was wrong.
Ërin: You fret entirely too much, stud.
Leave me alone.
Good night, Dale. You’re doing great. Don’t worry so much, honey. You’ll give yourself ulcers.
Dale eventually sank into an uneasy slumber, but his anxiety followed him like a curse.
He dreamt of spiders, death, and broken hearts.
The next morning, after a hasty meal and requisite assembly, Dale descended the space elevator. He felt sick to his stomach, and it wasn’t because of gravity or nervousness about their mission.
Amy hadn’t shown up for morning formation.
Neither had Emi Himura.
The platoon numbered ten instead of twelve, and if the commanders knew why, they weren’t saying.
Dale tried to message Amy again, but her email auto-responded. Her private messaging was turned off as well. He tried to message Emi, only to get the same auto-message. He’d never noticed the two being extra friendly, so he concluded that it had to be a coincidence they were both gone.
But why hadn’t Amy let him know she wouldn’t be accompanying the platoon to Irkalla? He couldn’t imagine any good reason for her to leave and not tell him when to expect her back.
Dale: Ërin, are transfers common?
Ërin: I can’t access that information.
Hell.
Don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll work out.
When the platoon exited the space elevator, Princess Jara was waiting. “Good morning, friends. Shall we begin our journey?”
“Yes,” Lieutenant Brinkmann said. “Let’s go! Mount up!”
Dale hoisted himself onto his Wildebai.
Behind him, the princess rode on a beast that was a mixture of a desert toad and a large reptile. Tom and Kim had the most impressive mounts. Earned during one of their hunting quests, they rode saber-toothed tigers with black armor covered in gold markings.
Dale admitted to himself that he was a little envious.
The trip to Irkalla usually took under two hours. The path was well traveled and heavily guarded because the base camp provided thousands of new customers for the city’s vendors.
When the platoon reached the entrance to Irkalla, they were admitted without a second glance from the city guards. A large sign informed travelers that mounts were not allowed inside the city, and all PVP challenges had to be officially recorded and take place in the proper arenas, not on the streets.
